1.22.2004
I had the worst migraine last night and it just refused to go away! After two motrin and then two excedrin, it faded a bit. I was having the weird shaking, muscle tension and nausea again on top of the uber headache. I spoke with my doctor and he advised me to take another Effexor. So that's what I did and it didn't improve matters. After waiting a few hours, I took some Neurontin and that helped a bit.

After nibbling on dinner, I logged into Horizons and chatted with kal a little bit, then tried to sleep, but it didn't work. So I watched a movie and did floor exercises. I was able to fall asleep at midnight and woke up at 2:30. I really need to sleep a full 6 hours or so without interruptions.

I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety, anger, frustration and a lot of depression. I'm worried about being fired when I go back to work. I've been out a lot and for a long time because of the knee injury and suicide attempt. I'm not ready to go back. I'm not comfortable at all with going back right now because I'm still having suicide thoughts every single night. Work is just added stress that I do not need right now. I will go back and fail. I know this. I need more time.

The money situation sucks horribly. I need more clothes; one pair of jeans isn't quite enough. I need glasses, I can't see a thing. Dylan needs new shoes. I don't have the money for any of these things. I know I will get into an accident if I don't get glasses soon. :(



babbled by me @ 3:42 AM

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