8.7.2003
I seem to be waking up earlier and earlier each day. I try to go back to sleep, but just lay there awake. I feel like a bus hit me and my eyes are barely open right now. The dogs have been let out and I made some tea.

The problem doesn't seem to be when I actually go to sleep, 10 pm is actually my normal sleeping time, even though some nights I might stay up a bit longer if I have the energy. I normally sleep until after 6 am and then get up...but now this waking up early thing is just draining me! I'm ready for bed by 7 or even earlier and have to try and fight off the urge to nap constantly after work.

*nods off for a few minutes*

Grr, I can sleep here, but not in my own darn bed!

I tried to give blood the other day, without luck as usual. Rarely can someone find the veins in my arms, they have to go for my hands and use a butterfly needle and those things sting like hell. I think only three people have actually stuck me correctly in my arms so far. Some like to dig around and I end up looking like a heroin addict. I had a pic somewhere of what they did to me at one point, ahh... here it is. Nice, isn't it? Ouch.

I will try again when they come back and perhaps someone can find the darn vein. My blood type is A- and very much needed.

I never even heard Dylan go to sleep last night; he stayed up after I went to bed. He was on a mission to build some sort of lego castle and spent *all* day going through his crates of legos. After hours and hours of hearing him rummage through those things, I thought I was going to go mad. His whistling all the time is bad enough.

Work is depressing the hell out of me. It's as if they don't understand that it's going to take me a while to get back to my normal routine. They threw in Canadian training and that has really messed me up. I get a normal day's worth of work, plus some Canadian work and have to remember all the new changes and check to make sure there aren't any new changes that happened while I was away. I have tons of work left over from each day and the pile is growing bigger and bigger. I explain the situation to my manager and it's as if he's wearing ear muffs and just won't listen to me. It's quite frustrating.

I have found that I am now addicted to another medication the doctor prescribed for me, this one being only a 'temporary' medication as well. It's the Xanax stuff. I tried to go a day without it and felt the symptoms of withdrawal quite fast. I've managed to lessen the dosage from 3 a day to 2 now without feeling the effects. I will keep doing so until I do not need it, though most of the time I *really* need it.

I hate addictions.

Now I think I will try to get some more sleep. Wish me luck.


babbled by me @ 3:50 AM

~*~