8.6.2003
My mother in law is ill from some reason, the doctors have done tons of blood tests and whatnot and still aren't sure what's up with her. She's resting at home now at least, she didn't like the hospital at all.

My grandfather is very ill as well. He has a rare blood disease that is usually fatal within three years of being diagnosed. He's on his fourth year and is so sick. I hope to see him today, I know he has an appointment with his doctor. This man has been like a father to me, since I have lacked a father since I was almost two. I love him dearly and wish he could live forever. Yes, I know that everyone eventually dies, but losing him is really going to hurt. It was bad enough when mom died, now he's about to go.

I'm feeling very depressed about everything right now and really wish that I could make things go right for once and feel completely happy. That is something that I don't think will ever happen. Something bad always comes up just when everything seems like it is getting better.

I'm not at work today, I'm going to rest and see my grandfather. I need to spend as much time with him as possible, he could go at any time. I hadn't seen mom for 2 years when she died. I hadn't talked to her for five months. I regret not seeing or talking to her like I should have. I've neglected seeing my grandfather because of work and home and my depressions. I need to get my ass out of the house and see him.

Today I will focus on my family and myself, tomorrow I can focus on work and the rest of the crap that life dumps on our laps.


babbled by me @ 9:22 AM

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