Teaching Compassion Through Picture Books
By Vicki Thomas
Character education has become an important component of the curriculum of public schools in recent years. Tragic events like Columbine remind us of the possible consequences of alienation and intolerance. Parents, educators and other adults who work with children play a critical role in fostering compassion, tolerance and acceptance in the next generation. In addition to being living models of these ideals, adults can teach children about these important concepts through literature and picture books.
Teachers who begin building a sense of community in their classrooms the first day of school set the tone for a year-long focus on acceptance and respect. Classrooms where each student is seen as a valuable and contributing member provide fertile ground to plant the seeds of compassion. Establishing a climate of trust and respect within a child's immediate environment is a necessary first step in developing sensitivity toward others. It is a necessary first step in being able to extend that acceptance and understanding toward more diverse groups, be they racial, cultural, religious, or individuals with special needs. Many character education programs today are built around this philosophy. "Lifeskills" is one such program. This unit inherently supports the lifeskills of friendship, caring, understanding and patience, to name a few.
This unit is based on the simple acknowledgment that "human beings are much more the same than we are different." A wise man by the name of Mister Fred Rogers called this the most important lesson to teach our children to help them grow into caring, compassionate adults. As humans, we all have the same basic needs and desires. We all want to love and be loved. We need to know that we matter in this world, and that our unique gifts and talents are both recognized and appreciated. We want to be accepted for who we are without qualification, and to know that our ideas, no matter how divergent, are genuinely considered and respected. Recognizing these truths through discussions with children shines the spotlight on our common humanity, thereby reducing the tendency to focus only on differences. And when differences are considered, they are looked upon with value for the richness and texture they contribute to our human mosaic.
The development of this unit was inspired by The Bubel/Aiken Foundation (TBAF). Its mission is to raise awareness of the benefits of the inclusion of individuals with special needs into everyday life experiences with their typical peers. All too often, children with special needs are separated from their typical peers, reminiscent of the "separate but equal" days of the Jim Crow South. Because human beings understand and accept that which is familiar to them, opportunities for children to interact is crucial in preventing stereotyping and fear of the unfamiliar. In classrooms where acceptance is an integral part of the climate, lessons on the topic of special needs are a seamless segue. The Friendship Unit introduced here provides the perfect opportunity to build awareness, understanding and acceptance through exposure, discussion and opportunities to interact.
Beyond a Single Lesson
"We want to raise our children so that they can take a sense of pleasure in both their own heritage and the diversity of others."
...Fred Rogers
Beginning at the start of the school year, teachers can read books that have themes of self-acceptance, friendship, compassion, tolerance and acceptance. Keeping a chart of "Books We've Read" will prove invaluable in being able to reference specific books with particular themes as the year progresses. With each book, the class engages in discussion, sharing their thoughts, feelings, experiences, connections, questions and inferences. They ponder which lifeskills are evident in the story, along with which ones are missing that could have been used to solve the problem. They determine what is important in each book and develop a new synthesis as they consider these new ideas in the context of what they already know. (This ties into reading strategy instruction as presented by educators like David Pearson, Ellin Keene and Stephanie Harvey). In this way, these lessons support not only character education, but also literacy and reading instruction.
Picture books provide an excellent springboard for discussion since they are short enough to read in one sitting and the messages, while possibly sophisticated, are relatively easy to identify. But chapter books should not be ruled out, especially ones that provide a good example of these themes. There is a wealth of resources available either way. The short list of possible book titles that follows is just a small sampling by theme of some of the ones I shared with my third graders. To spur thoughtful discussions, the following generic questions may be used as books are shared with the class.
Sample Discussion Questions for Fiction
1.Who is the main character in the story?
2.What do you see as the problem in this story?
3.How do you think this character feels? (What can you 'infer' about how the character feels?)
4.Why do you think the other character(s) treated them this way? (Ignorance, lack of exposure and experience, fear of the unfamiliar, poor self-esteem, etc.)
5.Did a character have to show courage or compassion to face or solve the problem?
6.Which lifeskills do you see being used in the story? Which ones are missing that could have been used to solve (or avoid) the problem?
7.What lesson do you think the author wants us to learn in this story? (It may reveal some truth about human nature, we all have gifts, harmful consequences of negative behaviors, benefits of positive behaviors, etc.)
8.What do you understand now that you didn't understand before?
Sample Discussion Questions for Non-Fiction
1.What do you already know about this subject? (What is your schema/prior knowledge?)
2.What do you think are the important ideas in this book?
3.Why do you think the author wrote this book?
4.What did you learn from this book?
5.Does this information make you think in a new way now?
6.How can this book help people understand or be more sensitive to other people? (or to individuals with special needs?)
Book List: A Few Recommended Titles
Self-Esteem / Self-Acceptance / Recognizing Our Uniqueness and Gifts
Dumpy La Rue - Elizabeth Winthrop
Oliver Button is a Sissy - Tomie de Paola
Chrysanthemum - Kevin Henkes
Julius, the Baby of the World - Kevin Henkes
Thank You, Mr. Falker - Patricia Polacco
Mr. Lincoln's Way - Patricia Polacco
The Table Where Rich People Sit Byrd Baylor
The Wise Woman and Her Secret - Eve Merriam
The Name Jar - Yangsook Choi
You Are Special - Max Lucado
The Big Orange Splot - Daniel Manus Pinkwater
Brave Norman: A True Story - Andrew Clements
Cultural / Racial
The Other Side - Jacqueline Woodson
The Skin I'm In: A First Look at Racism - Pat Thomas
Best Friends - Loretta Krupinski
The Keeping Quilt - Patricia Polacco
Coolies - Yin
Teammates - Peter Golenbock
Martin's Big Words (MLK,Jr.) - Doreen Rappaport
The Butterfly - Patricia Polacco
I Hate English - Ellen Levine
The Blue and the Gray - Eve Bunting
A Picnic in October - Eve Bunting
Pink and Say - Patricia Polacco
White Socks Only - Evelyn Coleman
Baseball Saved Us - Ken Mochizuki
So Far From the Sea - Eve Bunting
How Many Days to America - Eve Bunting
Friendship
The Brand New Kid - Katie Couric
Because of Winn-Dixie - Kate DiCamilla
An Angel for Solomon Singer - Cynthia Rylant
Chicken Sunday - Patricia Polacco
Merry Christmas, Strega Nona - Tomie dePaola
I Can Hear the Sun - Patricia Polacco
Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge - Mem Fox
Miz Berlin Walks - Jane Yolen
Miss Tizzy - Libba Moore Gray
Important Values / Making a Difference
The Quiltmaker's Gift - Jeff Brumbeau
Heartsongs (poetry collection) - Mattie Stepanek
We Dream of a World - Students of Pershing Accelerated School-Michigan
Friendship Unit on Inclusion and Individuals with Special Needs
"Part of the problem with the word disabilities is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk about their feelings? �These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities."
...Fred Rogers
Shining the light on individuals with special needs helps typical children learn that these kids do in fact have the same feelings, wants, needs and desires that they have�that they are not so different from them after all. Introducing the topic of special needs requires sensitivity and a preparedness to acknowledge and address feelings. Fred Rogers also pointed out that when we see someone who looks or behaves differently from what's familiar to us, it's possible to feel a little shy, curious, or even afraid. He believed that when it comes to individuals with visible differences, it may take even more effort to look with our hearts and not with just our eyes. He found it exhilarating when the barriers that seem to separate people begin to vanish as we take the time to get to know each other.
This unit is intended to help classes who have had little to no experience with children with special needs gain understanding. Its purpose is to build awareness, understanding and compassion through shared books, discussions and opportunities to interact. It is important to take the time to build that understanding and familiarity before planning a joint activity to try to make it a positive experience for both classes. Students in your class who have siblings with special needs can still benefit from the unit, and may even find it validating or rewarding. However, it should be anticipated that these students, as well as their parents, may or may not want their experiences shared. These feelings and desires should, of course, be respected. Basically, they will share if they are comfortable and ready.
While any time of the year can lend itself to lessons about inclusion, Valentine's Day provides a perfect opportunity as you focus on "friendship." Introducing the unit upon the return to school in January provides ample time to include the "Friendship Day" activity described here.
I began this unit by posting a chart with the word "Friendship" written in a heart in the middle. In the corners I wrote Compassion, Tolerance and Acceptance �and at the kid's suggestion added Friendship Acts. Pretty big words for 3rd graders. But we were just beginning to learn what these concepts actually mean. We talked about what friendship means to them and added their ideas to the chart while I pointed out how their ideas were examples of these concepts.
Over the next several days, we discussed books we've read during the year with these themes: books about the civil rights movement, a new kid at school, the Pilgrims, and stories of friends and family. The children shared what they thought were the themes and lessons of these books, and we added their ideas to our chart. From there, we segued into stories about children with special needs. We discussed what they already knew about individuals with special needs. We began reading books about special needs issues, both fiction and nonfiction. When a question about it arose, we discussed the difference between mental, physical, and developmental challenges. They came to understand that how each of us experiences the world is not right or wrong�just different. Our chart grew as they were able to connect that the same themes of compassion, acceptance and tolerance from the other books were also the themes in the books on inclusion. The universal message always seemed to be that all people just want to be accepted for who they are and have their unique gifts recognized and appreciated.
As the children grew in their understanding of these concepts, I saw they were ready for the next step. They were very excited when I announced that we were going to be having a Friendship Day Activity with a class at our school with students with special needs. We talked about what to expect and the fact that all of the students in that class would be unique and individual just like in our class: some would be quiet and shy, some would like to talk, some would be good at math, or the board games we would be playing, others would be good at sports, etc�.just like us. When we read "What's Wrong with Timmy," one of my girls expressed that she was excited but a little nervous, just like the character in the story. I assured her that her feelings were perfectly normal, and that sometimes we all feel nervous about things that are new to us. Another student shared that she experienced those same feelings when she first met her cousin who has special needs. She explained that she was afraid at first, but as she got to know her, they became best friends. This was one of the most important points in this lesson: Through inclusion and opportunities to become familiar with people who may be outwardly different from us, we come to understand that we are more alike than different.
The students excitedly made valentines to deliver during our visit, some even asking to stay in during recess to make sure each child received plenty. The Special Ed teacher and I planned groups along with the board games that would work best ahead of time. When the day arrived, we gathered up our valentines and walked over to their classroom. It started a little quietly, but within no time became the familiar, joyful sounds of children playing � together. The smiles on all of their faces is an image I'll always treasure. When we returned to our room, they all wanted to talk at once about their new friends and wanted to know when we could do it again. I assured them that this was the first of many get-togethers.
At the end of our discussion, one of my little girls raised her hand and proclaimed to the class, "Now I REALLY understand what compassion, tolerance and acceptance means. But I think we had just as much fun as they did!"
This is what our final Friendship Chart looked like:
Acceptance is�
~ accepting people the way they are.
~ not wanting them to change.
~ looking at people's hearts - not at how they look or their skin color (look inside, not outside)
~ accepting that no one is perfect.
~ listening to and considering other people's ideas
Compassion is�
~ caring about others.
~ feeling the same feelings or emotions as someone without it actually happening to you.
~ understanding.
~ being there when your friends need you.
Tolerance is�
~ respecting differences (they called this better tolerance)
~ putting up with (they called this not as good tolerance)
~ recognizing that everyone has gifts and are unique and special.
~ not judging people.
~ not being critical.
~ forgiving each other.
~ understanding that friends can be boys or girls, or from any country, any race, any religion.
Friendship Acts �
~ taking initiative to reach out and be a friend.
~ helping others to do things they can't do themselves.
~ sharing my special things.
~ listening to their problems.
~ giving someone a hug or a surprise.
~ playing with kids who are by themselves.
~ giving compliments.
~ sending a letter or card.
~ having lunch or dinner with someone.
Extending Opportunities To Learn and Interact
Lessons in compassion and inclusion can take many forms. The unit and ideas shared here are but one teacher's attempt to help children learn these important concepts at an early age. There are many ways to accomplish the same goal, and lessons can be tailored to your own unique situation. The main thing is that we try to begin somewhere.
Lessons may include:
~ play-acting as a way to help children understand what it is like to have a disability (blindfolding for example).
~ a look at special adaptive equipment like wheelchairs, ramps, keyboards and mice, special toilets and sinks, scissors, glasses, hearing aids, tables and chairs. Lessons aimed at familiarizing children with this equipment are important because they help us see the person separate from the disability.
~ sharing the biographies of people who have overcome their disabilities, and even achieved greatness, such as Helen Keller, Franklin Roosevelt and Beethoven.
~ appropriate language to use with regard to people with disabilities that recognize the person first. (TBAF�s website has a list of appropriate terms.) Children may hear or use words considered slang that continue to promote the stigma and stereotypes associated with individuals with special needs. Providing acceptable and compassionate terms to describe particular disabilities is important, along with a discussion about the harmful effects of name-calling.
~ inviting disability organizations, families, and self-help groups to come and talk to the class. This can be a valuable learning experience for students. A presentation about sign language or lip reading, for example, can help children gain an understanding of other forms of communication.
The Special Ed teacher and I have planned more activities for our classes. For Read-Across-America Day, our classes got together for a read-aloud. And as spring brings warmer weather, we'll be looking into some outdoor activities together. To quote Frances Skinner-Lewis, the director of the Bubel/Aiken Foundation, "we are limited only by own our imagination." It's a good idea to consult with the Special Ed teacher about your ideas. They will know what will work with their class, and may have other ideas to share as well.
Tearing down the barriers and stereotypes against individuals with special needs will take all of us working together. In the end, we all benefit, for this is about recognizing the common humanity among all groups of people. The lifeskills that we post come alive when they are taken beyond the colorful posters and applied to real-life situations. Once the seeds of compassion are sown, children are more likely to develop into caring, empathetic young adults. They may be less likely to engage in bullying and stereotyping, and more inclined to respect differences and problem-solve through constructive as opposed to destructive measures.
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