Title: Elven Chatroom (or Silmarillion Chatroom)

Title: Chatroom: No Nonelves Allowed!

Rating: PG13 to be safe

Pairing: Gil-galad/Elrond, Haldir/Celeborn, Galadriel/Rumil and others

Warnings: Whoa, elves with internet. Be afraid. Be very afraid… That and a lot of cussing. Hehe

Other Warnings: Slashy context, but nothing graphic. Elves have some limited knowledge of the internet, and gradually learn in the process. OOC. Lots of OOC.

Disclaimer: I own nothing that’s copyrighted to other people. Dibs on the plotless plot, though… o.O

Timeline: After the destruction of the One Ring, but pretend all the elfies stayed on Middle Earth, and elves in the West can return to Middle Earth.

Summary: Poor Gil-galad. It seems that everyone knows of his crush except…his crush. -_-;

Author’s notes: ACK~! I did it. I joined the legions who already did about 30 hundred thousand of these type of fics already! Oh the shame, the horror!

…Oh well. *maniacal laughter*

Anyway, this chatroom will be ruled by the coolest beings on Middle Earth: Elves! Oh, and Elrond is included, as he is half elven, but he’s still cool. ^_^

Cannon doesn’t exist. *waves hand in Jedi fashion* At least in this fic, it doesn’t. haha

Thus, anything that probably never existed in the book, like Spring festivals and whatnot, all well. It’s there. All tolkien purists, RUN AWAY!!!!

And I *think* a certain blond female elf with a mirror is a cousin/distant relative to a certain dead elf *coughkingwhogotonlyabout5secondsinthemoviedammitcough*. If I’m wrong, too bad. O.o;

Feedback is appreciated. Flames are not.

Hm….said everything that I had to. So let the insanity begin!

LordofImladris: He is late.

LordofLorien: Hey Elrond. How’s it going in Rivendell?

LordofImladris: Hi Celeborn. Everything is fine. In Lothlorien?

LordofLorien: Not too good, as I am sad to say.

LordofImladris: Lemme guess, Haldir tried to hit on Galadriel again?

LordofLorien: Close. Except his target isn’t my wife. It’s ME.

LordofImladris: *laughs*

LordofLorien: *throws shoe at Elrond’s head*

LordofImladris: *ducks* : P

LordofLorien: Oh no….

SexybastardofLorien: Hiya Celly baby!

LordofImladris: LOL

LordofLorien: >_<

SexybastardofLorien: How’s my little silver birdie?

LordofImladris: *falls off his chair onto the floor, still laughing*

LordofLorien: *indignant* I am NOT your “little silver birdie”!!!!

LordofLorien: That’s not even a proper translation of my name. : P

LordofLorien: Galadriel!

SexybastardofLorien: Argh…the wench…

LadyofLorien: YOU~! *Points to Haldir* Get the HELL AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!

SexybastardofLorien: Ha! As if you can’t keep your own hands on only Celly baby!

LadyofLorien: WHAT?!!!!

LordofLorien: Stop calling me that!

LordofImladris: *grumbles to himself* He’s still late…

SexybastardofLorien: I saw you go with my brother Rumil during the Spring Festival, Galadriel!

LordofLorien: Galadriel! How could you! *cries*

LadyofLorien: Well, it’s not like you’re gonna be faithful to Celeborn either! I saw you romp around with that Glorfindel from Rivendell!

SexybastardofLorien: Bah, that’s just a game we play. I’m quite serious about Celeborn, though.

LordofImladris: *pats Celeborn on the back and gives him a handkerchief*

LordofLorien: *sniffles and blows his nose with given handkerchief*

HighKingRadiantStar: Hi all.

SexybastardofLorien: Omg….. it’s…

LadyofLorien: It can’t be…

LordofLorien: *stops blowing his nose* Eh? *looks at newcomer* Wah~! O.O

LadyofLorien: GIL GALAD?!!!!! @.@

HighKingRadiantStar: *gets his ears blasted by Galadriel’s scream* Ow… 9.6

LordofImladris: Lord Gil Galad! What took you??!! *hugs dazed king*

HighKingRadiantStar: *gets out of daze and hugs Elrond back* Sorry, but I could not find a suitable access phone number fast enough. You wouldn’t believe how much it costs if you used a long distance phoneline instead of a local one.

LordofLorien: *is still in shock*

SexybastardofLorien: Uh, sorry to disturb this little reunion, but…

LadyofLorien: When the hellish pits of Mordor did you get back from Mandos, Gil Galad?!

HighKingRadiantStar: Since now?

LadyofLorien: *begins to glow green*

LordofLorien: Eeep! *hides behind Haldir*

SexybastardofLorien: *happily holds Celeborn* There there. I’ll protect you! ^_^

LordofLorien: o.O;

LadyofLorien: GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER, COUSIN!!!

HighKingRadiantStar: …Oh fine. I kindly asked Mandos if I could be resurrected. He said yes. End of story. Happy now?

LadyofLorien: I ACCEPT YOUR EXPLAINATION, BUT I’M NOT HAPPY AT THE MOMENT. *GLARES at Haldir* GET THE HELL OFF HIM!!!

SexybastardofLorien: Or you’ll what?

LadyofLorien: *sends lightning bolts though Internet*

LadyofLorien: *stops glowing* Ha!

LordofImladris: What did you do to Haldir?

LadyofLorien: I made his computer to reboot. *maniacal laughter*

HighKingRadiantStar: …

LordofImladris: …

LordofLorien: *no longer has cover, so ducks behind Elrond*

LadyofLorien: *glares at Elrond* You better keep your hands off him too!

LordofImladris: *mutters sarcastically* As if I wanted to in the first place…

HighKingRadiantStar: …Somebody please tell me that is NOT the same Celeborn of Doriath that I knew.

LordofImladris: Sadly, it is.

HighKingRadiantStar: Damn…. Cousin, what have you done to him?!

LordofImladris: Absolutely nothing.

HighKingRadiantStar: No, not you, Elrond. My other cousin.

LordofImladris: Oh…

LadyofLorien: Nothing. All I did was threaten all the other elves away from my dear husband, as he is very attractive to both gender. Then I threatened him to not see anyone else or I’ll hurt him. Nothing is wrong about that, is there?

HighKingRadiantStar: No, but it is when you traumatize them in the process!

LadyofLorien: He is NOT traumatized, Gil Galad!

HighKingRadiantStar: He is so! *points at Celeborn*

LordofLorien: *twitch* o.O *sees Galadriel glaring at him* Wah~! *hides under Elrond’s robes*

LordofImladris: Gah~! *grabs Celeborn pulls him out from underneath his robes* You want me to die by the wrath of your wife?!!

LordofLorien: *whimpers pitifully* Please? *big puppy eyed look at Elrond*

LordofImladris: No… NOT the LOOK…

LordofLorien: *big puppy eyed look with tears threatening to spill*

LordofImladris: *surrenders to the evil look of cuteness* Alright already… *throws an extra robe over Celeborn*

LordofLorien: Yay! *hides under robe*

HighKingRadiantStar: …Sadly, I only have one thing to say. *bellows out* “CELEBORN YOU ARE SUCH A WHIMP!!”

HighKingRadiantStar: I also wish to add… *roars* “WILL YOU SNAP OUT OF IT?!!”

LordofImladris: *is knocked down by the force of Gil Galad’s yell* Ow…

LordofLorien: @.@ Wah~!! Nobody likes me~! *sniffles* ;_;

LadyofLorien: Nope. Only I do. ^_^

HighKingRadiantStar: … You’re doing nothing for his confidence, cousin.

LadyofLorien: Yeah? What of it? *glares*

HighKingRadiantStar: *glares right back at her*

LordofLorien: *hears a ping* Oh, my muffins are done! Yay!

LordofImladris: *blinks* Celeborn… You bake?! O.o;

LordofLorien: Yup yup! *gets up*

LordofLorien: Got to go now! Must be quick so they don’t burn! Bye bye!

LordofImladris: Bye.

HighKingRadiantStar: Bye…

LadyofLorien: I want a muffin!

HighKingRadiantStar: I STILL can’t believe that’s Celeborn. O.O

LordofImladris: As I said, it is.

HighKingRadiantStar: *sigh* That was the most disturbing thing I’ve seen since I’ve been reincarnated.

HighKingRadiantStar: Anyway, ready for that movie/sleepover?

LordofImladris: Yep. Got the wine, fruit, chocolate, etc.

HighKingRadiantStar: Great! Who else did you invite?

LordofImladris: Well, I did invite Celeborn…but it seems that he’s a little….preoccupied…

HighKingRadiantStar: Cross him off.

LordofImladris: Hell yes. I am not going to be killed by Galadriel.

LordofImladris: I think I also invited Cirdan.

SexyBastardofLorien: GRrrrr…. I’ll teach that wench to NOT screw with my circuitry.

HighKingRadiantStar: You just missed them.

LordofImladris: Celeborn left to get muffins, and Galadriel left to steal a few from him.

SexyBastardofLorien: Really? Damn…

SexyBastardofLorien: Been nice seeing you again, Lord Gil Galad.

HighKingRadiantStar: It is a pleasure to meet you too.

SexyBastardofLorien: Say…. Are you free next weekend? ^_~

HighKingRadiantStar: Yes, and all the other weekends throughout my natural lifespan.

SexyBastardofLorien: Meanie.

HighKingRadiantStar: Oh go get a muffin that Celeborn baked, why don’t you?

SexyBastardofLorien: Really? My sexy little silver birdie can bake too? Oh, I wish I had him before that wench got him.

HighKingRadiantStar: …No comment.

LordofImladris: Ditto.

SexyBastardofLorien: Gotta run. Ta-ta!

HighKingRadiantStar: My formal herald…

LordofImladris: Yes, my lord?

HighKingRadiantStar: *ROARS* WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE VALAR AND ERU HAS HAPPENED WHILE I WAS IN THE HALLS OF MANDOS?!!!!?!!!!!! >o<

LordofImladris: *is knocked 12 feet away by Gil Galad’s scream* @.@

LordofImladris: You really don’t want to know.

HighKingRadiantStar: Perhaps you are right… Although if this keeps up, I EXPECT a full account explanation. Complete with dates.

LordofImladris: Argh…not the dates.

HighKingRadiantStar: Anyway, as you were saying about Cirdan being invited?

LordofImladris: Yes, he is invited as well.

HighKingRadiantStar: Anyone else?

LordofImladris: Glorfindel. And I tried Thranduil, but he said no. Too much going on with his kingdom, I assume.

HighKingRadiantStar: So it will be only the four of us then?

LordofImladris: I believe so.

HighKingRadiantStar: *sigh* Oh well, more chocolate for me. ^_^

LordofImladris: o.o;

PrinceGreenleaf: Hi!

LordofImladris: Hello Legolas.

HighKingRadiantStar: Ah, you must be Thranduil’s son. Hello.

PrinceGreenleaf: Hello. Who are you?

HighKingRadiantStar: I am Gil Galad, son of Fingon and former High King of the Noldor.

PrinceGreenleaf: But I thought you were dead!

HighKingRadiantStar: I was dead, yes. But I was reincarnated.

PrinceGreenleaf: Oh.. Ok.

PrinceGreenleaf: Would any of you know why Haldir is running past Mirkwood with Celeborn running after him screaming “MY MUFFINS! GIVE THEM BACK!”?

LordofImladris: O.o;

HighKingRadiantStar: -_-

PrinceGreenleaf: Oh, there’s Lady Galadriel running after Celeborn, screaming “YOU STUPID TWIT OF A HUSBAND, GET BACK HERE~!!! HE’S ONLY TRYING TO GET YOU AWAY FROM ME!”.

HighKingRadiantStar: Elrond…

LordofImladris: *waiting in dread* Yes?

HighKingRadiantStar: I want that report, complete with dates.

LordofImladris: -_- Yes sir.

PrinceGreenLeaf: Hm… By the direction they’re going, they’ll be at Rivendell soon, Elrond.

LordofImladris: >_<*

HighKingRadiantStar: I hope they don’t intend to stay for long. We got that sleepover tomorrow.

PrinceGreenleaf: Really?

LordofImladris: Yes. We plan to watch a movie, too. It’s called Rose Red.

HighKingRadiantStar: Only Elrond, Cirdan, Glorfindel, and I are going. You want to come as well?

PrinceGreenleaf: I wish I could, but I have to help father tend to his garden.

HighKingRadiantStar: Wait… Did you just say that you have to help your father tend his “garden?”

PrinceGreenleaf: Yes, I did.

HighKingRadiantStar: You’re telling me that the Thranduil that I knew during the Last Alliance, that the Thranduil who is the son of Orophir and is reputed to be a rather bloodthirsty fighter and a lover of wines and beer, HAS A GARDEN AND WORKS ON IT HIMSELF?!!

PrinceGreenleaf: Yep! ^_^

LordofImladris: It’s a form of therapy to cool his beserk rage and his past problems with wine.

HighKingRadiantStar: o.o;

PrinceGreenleaf: Well, I got to go. Must help father with the marigolds. Bye bye!

LordofImladris: Bye.

HighKingRadiantStar: Bye…

HighKingRadiantStar: *brain still whirling due to recent events*

LordofImladris: …So I will see you tomorrow then?

HighKingRadiantStar: Yes, of course.

LordofImladris: Good. Until then, good bye.

HighKingRadiantStar: Good bye.

HighKingRadiantStar: *hears his reincarnated father, Fingon, yelling.*

HighKingRadiantStar: *yells back* No, father. I am not trying to woo female elves on the internet. Yes, father. I did check for viruses. No, father. I did not ask Elrond for a date…

HighKingRadiantStar: Wait… Why did he ask that? O.o;

~*~

Haha, I had fun with this.

So there’s Gil Galad, all alive and well, and ready to have a slumber party with Elrond and friends!

Maybe I’ll write a sequal. Then we will find out what happened to Celeborn and his muffins. O.o;

Please Review? Pretty please?