I think up the craziest stuff when I'm around Arno. Probably why I like him so much. This was when we were talking about Beast Wars vs. Gargoyles: Points Good and Bad.

This piece was origionally published in Cybertronian Library at The Oracle of Cybertron on April 2, 2000.

Well, like Gargoyles, BW/M is complex, or else I wouldn't like them. They're just--different. Let me explain: Did you ever have a teacher who gave you the assignment about how you could throw a dinner party and invite anyone you want, real or fictional, living or dead?

Well, if the 'Goyles came over for dinner, I'd have to have the house spotlessly clean, be dressed nicely, and serve really great food on the good china, with classical music playing softly in the background. We'd play chess and discuss books. They would treat all my things with respect and help clean up afterwards. They'd stay a polite amount of time, then go home.

Big difference if the Beast Wars gang was coming over. The house would get a good-enough cleaning. I'd be in shorts and a tank top. We'd play football, Frisbee and horseshoes on the lawn and watch idiotic, possibly immoral crap on the TV (fighting over the remote the whole time, of course). We'd eat chips, BBQ and other greasy junk food on paper plates while Guns&Roses was blasting out of the stereo at earthquake producing decibel levels. They'd shoot up the place, make things explode, scare the animals and totally trash the house. The neighbors would call the cops, who'd take one look at Optimal Optimis and TM2 Megs sharing a keg on the front lawn and say, "You know, I don't get paid enough for weird shit like this," and drive away as fast as they could, not looking back, never to return. Those crazy Transformers would party so late, so hard, that when morning came, intoxicated robots would be lying unconscious all over the yard, hanging from the trees and flopped on the roof. Dinobot and RatTrap would be passed out on the sofa in the living room (where'd they'd been singing dirty songs until 4:00am and spilled most of their last beverages), and I'd walk in my bedroom and catch Silver Bolt and Black Arachnia in the act of doing the wild robotic mambo in my bed. I'd surrender my bed to them, and try to go sleep in the guest room, only to find Tigatron and Air Razor had beat me to it. Anyone remember how to get mechfluids out of good linens?

But, it's the damage they cause to your neighbors' houses that's the real problem...

Cheetor:
Hey Cel! Depth Charge and Rampage are gonna sleep in the pool. Is that okay?

Cel:
*tossing shots with Dinobot and RatTrap in the kitchen* Sure! It spec-fricking-tack'ler! *sniggles, holding up one talon* Now, remember what I said, boys. If you drink me under the table, I'll flash ya-an' maybe more--'pends on just how drunk I get. *winks* If I drink you under the table, well-

KABOOOOOOM!

--Cheet'r! Wot the spotted HELL was that!?!

Cheetor:
Depth Charge and Rampage got into an argument over who got to sleep in the deep end.

Cel:
Aw, DAMMIT!!! Did they blow up the pool?

Cheetor:
No, but they took out two trees and the roof of the Centaur residence next door...

Cel:
*snorts* Oh! Well, dats okay! Pour me 'nudder, boys! *holds out her glass*

Now which party sounds more fun to you??? *L*

[ Feedback ]

[ Next ]

[ Main |Bio | Fics ]