| Tuesday June 4th 2002 Well ... another day where I don't have much to talk about. But like all the other times I've said that, I'll probably prove myself wrong. I've never before experienced the joy of answering machines. Oh sure, I've had plenty of them in the past - or rather, Bell's automated equivalent - but I've never really given much thought to the messages that get left there from a philosophical/psychological perspective. It's a major pick-me-up to know somebody was looking for me when I was out. It's a nice 'somebody cares' feeling - even when it's just some insurance company calling me back to give me an estimate. Yup, I know what that sounds like. Not to worry, loneliness hasn't overwhelmed me at all lately and I've been out with the guys, etc. quite a bit actually. It's just - nice, in a way I never appreciated before. There we go, something to talk about - just got a call from my ex, reminding me there's some mail to pick up. Speaking of phone messages, she also left me that helpful one last week that allowed me to update my vehicle license on time. I don't call her for the sake of conversation, but we're still helpful to each other that way; things I forgot to take with me when I moved out she reminds me about, and I bring back things I took out by mistake. So I still see her once, briefly, every week or week and a half. We live entirely separate lives now. I don't know what her social circle is like anymore, I just know - surprisingly, since we used to share the same one - she isn't a part of mine. That part I'm kinda glad about, especially if she's dating someone. Myself, I am not so fortunate, though it's not for lack of trying. I did meet a fantastic couple this weekend that inspired me. Both very nice, introverted somewhat awkward people that I was perfectly comfortable hanging out with and who were perfect for each other. If I see a couple in the distance walking hand in hand and I don't know them, I might get a grumpy 'that should be me' feeling. But if I meet a couple and get to know them like this, and see how right they are together, it's entirely different. It's a very good, positive feeling - a model to follow, and a reminder not to settle for anything less. It does happen, and it is possible. That's very cool, and I'm very happy for them that they found each other (online, apparently!). With perseverance, we can all do that. Some of us just have to hang in there a little longer. |