Ash will seriously put one of her big ol' shit kickers up my ass if I don't update NOW. So here goes...not much has happened but I guess I could throw out the little that has up here. Well let's give an update on me...I am 70% slut, 42% gay and 34% bitch. That is according to The Spark. I took the tests and as far as bitchiness I am below average but I am overly slutty and gay. Well excuse me for being honest! Come on any chick that says they've never fantasized about another woman is probably lying. I don't think the slut test was too accurate though...one of the questions was whether or not I wear facial glitter...how does that make one a slut? So yeah they have about 100 tests to take that are totally irrelavent and funny as shit there so if you get bored go take some and send me the results to make me feel better...there have got to be more slutty people out there than me.
SO onto other interesting events...Amy, my sister, actually graced Bickford's with her presence last night, I kicked Ryan in the nuts...totally unintentionally...I meant to kick his ass just missed by a few inches. Eww Jerry Springer trash...this chick lost her virginity in a porta potty! I know it's all bs but it's still nasty. Oh yeah speaking of nasty, did you realize how easy it is to swallow a tongue ring? Adam didn't until last night. He ate his dinner and then realized it was gone. He got to leave work early because of it and everything. I think I'm having sympathetic pains because my throat is hurting damn it! Well I am gonna make it feel better by going to get me a cigarette...gotta rush the lung cancer along! Smooches to all!
August 23rd 2002
I am so freakin poor it ain't even funny! I need money...wanna send me some? Well I am off with Ash to Bickford's. I wanna use the Psychic Circle board and talk to dead people...lol. I don't know if Bickford's is quite the place for it though. I'll get some disgruntled cook and they'll start hucking kitchen utensils at me...AHHH!!! Nevermind...scratch that idea entirely. I think I'll just get my ass hyped up on caffiene and sugar! Muah!
August 19th 2002
Last night was interesting...first of all Ash and I went to rescue Vedette. She was on the highway when her tire went flat and almost tore right off the rim. When we got there she was all done changing it though. So we went to Bickford's and I had about 5 cups of joe and then we dropped off Ash and then on my way home to drop off Vedette I got pulled over! In complete ghetoville with crackheads, pimps and hoes on every corner I get pulled over...WTF? They pulled me over and I gave the officer my license and registration and he asked where I was going and I said just driving her home. He asked where I was coming from I said Bickford's he asked if I worked there I said no I was just having some coffee. Meanwhile the other officer was shining a light between Vedette's legs to see what she had...it was a book for crying out loud so he checked my license and registration and said you were going a little fast the speed limit is 30 MPH unless otherwise posted. It was very odd because I was going maybe 33 or 35 MPH at the time. I think he actually pulled me over because when we drove by the cop car I pointed to them and told Vedette, "it's about time they got a cop patroling this area" I explained to her how Ash and I had seen fights right there and how the bars were about to get out and all kinds of hell breaks out then. So because I was commending the cops I got pulled over. Fuck the Police! LOL!
Yeah so I got home and continued writing my life story and suddenly I got the urge to do laundry. Do you remember the trash heap on Fraggle Rock. Well imagine her being made out of laundry instead. That is our laundry room. It is so BAD. Plus I realized my awesome, sexy, cool Gap sweater I just bought around Christmas time last year had been missing for quite some time. So I tore through that bitch and started doing laundry at about 2:30am. My Dad was like, "what are you doing?" I said, "sorting the laundry" he responds with,"It is 3 o'clock in the morning" (That's in Dad's time if it is past the half of an hour its automatically the next hour) I said to him,"When I get the ambition I don't fight it! I don't get the ambition often" So he left me to my psycho OCDesque laundry party. I'm no where near done though! I hate this place, nothing works here! Amy and Sara will know what that means even if the rest of you don't. Well I'm going back to the bog of eternal stench...aka our laundry room that the cat likes to use as a litter box. I HATE cats! Ok I hate my Mom's cat. My daughter called her Zoe Queen of England today and then knighted her with a chinese fire cracker. If you don't know what those are let me explain so you don't get your panties in a bunch thinking my daughter is shooting fire crackers at the cat and I am laughing about it. A chinese fire cracker is a stick with paper twisted around the top and you kinda cast it like a fishing rod and it expands and retracts. I'm not THAT bad of a mother. Well ok enough rambling I got work to do! XOXOX
August 18th 2002
It has been way too long since I have updated sorry to any of you who actually read this stuff. I have been banned from the web by my Father...how pathetic is that? I'm 23 years old and my Father still punishes me? I've been a bad girl though...I've lost my job, I owe him about $1600 back rent, and I have been in one of the worse manic depressive slumps of my life...yet. Basically I have been a worthless, ungrateful, lazy loser. Those are my Dad's thoughts, but I know I can work through this just as I always have in the past.
OK now on to a happier subject...I am a lazy bitch by day but one hell of a woman by night lol. I'm still out and about almost every night. Either drinking my bottomless cup of coffee with four creams and six sugars at Bickford's with the cool kids, drinking beer with some fine ass baseball players and other friends or oddly enough lately playing tarot card woman. I brought my sister's cards to Bick's one night and everyone wanted a reading. I told them I suck but some of them actually were really accurate. I have been a total night owl lately but I gotta put a stop to this 5am bed time bull shit fast...school is starting soon and I am going to have to get the kids up fed and ready to get out the door by like 8:30am. I can't be waking up at 1:30 in the afternoon any more. Damn!
I ponder this all the time...Am I not doing what I need to do because I'm depressed? OR Am I depressed because I am not doing what I need to do? It's kinda like one of those I can't get a job cuz I ain't got a car. Can't get a car cuz I ain't got a job situations. It's a vicious cycle where the fuck does it begin and end?
If you're sexy and you know it clap your hands!:::Cybil claps her hands loud and clear:::LOL! Don't ask...it's just me listening to 112, Dance With Me and thinking of good times with Caroline, Ash and Vedette. Vedette is about to be auctioned off on Ash's site. We just gotta get some decent pics of the girl. All donations go to Ash's Boobies Fund. I feel her pain man I am flatter than she is even though she doesn't think so. So anyhoo...I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead...I'm trying to think of new layout ideas and shit but I need to just get this posted for now. More to come! Smooches!