Saint Valentine's Day in Japan

Dear friend,

Somebody asked me how is Saint Valentine's celebration in Japan, and I wrote the following little essay. Hope you find it interesting.

In Japan, women give chocolates to all the men who have any significance in their immediate lives, meaning their bosses, colleagues, teachers, father, father-in-law, and maybe other elder relatives. It has no emotional meaning, it is a social duty, and there is no other gift considered, other than a box of chocolates. Those chocolates are commonly known by everybody as GIRI-CHOCO, because GIRI mean duty or obligation (especially social duty), and CHOCO is a contraction of chocolate. The men have no obligation to give anything to the ladies during Saint Valentine, but they are looking forward to brag on how many boxes of GIRI-CHOCO they received.

During my first few years in Japan I received a lot of boxes. After a few years some of the ladies passed the occasion, others pooled together for the box, so I have received less and less chocolate, but I still get between five and ten boxes. No hugs, no kisses.

Most men received GIRI-CHOCO from their wife, daughter, girlfriend, if any, and from the secretaries or lady workers in their companies. They know it is their duty, so they fulfill it as part of work. Some guys are more popular, so they will get more chocolate. Lucky them. Teachers get a lot of chocolate. Lucky us.

The chocolates and red hearts are the only focus, symbol, and means for that day. The chocolates have to be brand name, and they end up being a substantial expense on the small salary of ladies, who are forced to work for meager salaries, compared with men's salaries. For example, there is an unwritten rule that a woman cannot earn a salary larger than her husband's, no matter what position she achieves on her own company or job, her salary is capped by her husband's. Also the young Office Ladies are hired to do simple secretarial jobs, provide decoration (pretty faces and sweet talk) and a pool of wives within the company. So they get a salary proportional to that professional duty. She still has to spend a good deal of that money in GIRI-CHOCO, which is not funny or pleasurable for her.

These days, women are expressing their distaste openly, but nothing have changed in the six and a half years I have been living in Japan. It is an expected duty. Other women see it as a strategic step in their careers.

Whatever. And the men? Do they have any duty? Well, yes. Women (or was it businessmen ?) invented White Day, which is celebrated one month later, March 14. (Maybe businesswomen did!). The men are duty bound to return some present to the ladies who gave them GIRI-CHOCO. This is usually a box of cookies or some cute trinket. They told me that it is called White because the men should give a white panty in return for the chocolate. This is plain male fantasy. Most men would be too ashamed, most women too disgusted. This day is kept very low key, in contrast with Saint Valentine, which is advertised and displayed prominently since February first, or earlier.

I am a gentleman (of sorts) and on White Day I return cookies or cakes to all the ladies in my list of chocolates received. It's the most I can do, because they won't accept hugs, or kisses.

Happy Saint Valentine's day!

Joseph

 

Adapted from: http://www.nuae.nagoya-u.ac.jp/~joseph/texts/StValentine.htm