The Giving Tree
042-862-8886. I punch in the numbers that I am so used to without even looking at the dial pads. After a few seconds, my mom picks up the phone. As soon as I utter hello,?she senses the tiredness coming through the receiver and asks why I sound so lifeless. I do not want to lie, so I tell her that a girl needed my help, so I stayed up late the day before. From that moment I know what is coming, and how this phone call is going to end: a familiar sigh comes, followed by a lecture that I heard a million times before about how I do not need to concern about others. I become frustrated and livid with anger. I shout to my mom why her moral teachings during my childhood differ from what she tries to teach me now, and hang up.
This used to be the usual course of the conversation with my mom during last winter. After getting furious at my moms selfish attitude, I would sit lonely in front of my desk after 2 oclock in pitch-dark, confused, trying to think what is really right, and at the same time, wondering why I was the way I was. But it is now crystal clear in my heart.
I was four when I started reading. I read voraciously anything within reach, but I highly doubt if I understood even half of what I had read. Nevertheless, my encounter with the Giving Tree was different. The Giving Trees unconditional and sacrificing love assimilated into my heart and rooted deeply, like water absorbed by a dry sponge. Ever since then, the Giving Tree has been my model of life. I never declined when a friend needed my help and would sacrifice my time to do anything that could help the person I like be happier.
My mother scolded me, saying I would never achieve anything I want to achieve in my life, and end up dying helping another person. And she is right about me. All the things I have been going though ?the education and socialization ?are just another way to prepare myself so that I could help the most people in the most efficient way.
If I could die knowing that I lived to make a change in another persons life that otherwise would have been neglected and uncared, I would lie in my deathbed smiling, like the truncated Giving Tree that smiled at the crying old boy.