July 4, 2001
What is Forgiveness?
Part 2 - Forgiving Others Who Have Hurt Us
By Woodrow Kroll
You know, forgiveness is a key part of our relationship with the Lord. It's through His Son, Jesus Christ, that we've been granted forgiveness for our sins. And it's God's example that we are to follow as we forgive others. That's why it's important that we understand what forgiveness is all about. And in our study today we'll see how we are to practice forgiveness as we deal with the people who hurt us or wrong us. I think the practice may be a key to getting this thing right--this forgiving others--it's not something we do naturally, is it?
No, it really isn't. It takes a lot of practice. There's something down deep inside of all of us that wants revenge. We want to get back at someone. This is not natural to forgive. It is supernatural, though, folks, and the more we allow the Holy Spirit of God to work through us in forgiveness, the more we will become like God. Well I think the question we're asking and answering today is one that's on the minds of a lot of Christians, "When is it necessary to forgive others?"
Believe it or not this question seems to plague the Christian mind. You know, we want to do the right thing, I'm sure of that. But I'm not so certain that we already don't know what the right this is. It may seem unreasonable, it may seem difficult, but it is the right thing, and I think we really know what it is. Listen folks, are you embarrassed to forgive people? I have to admit sometimes I am.
People come to me or they write me and they say, "You know, I said something unkind about you, I misjudged you, would you forgive me?" I think it's harder to forgive people than it is to ask for forgiveness. Don't you find that true? You know, I was thinking about this last night, and I thought, There are several reasons in my life why I know it's hard to grant forgiveness to others.
First of all, sometimes we have difficulty granting forgiveness because we don't know what we're supposed to do. See, we just don't understand God's Word and the requirement to be forgiving.
So what does God's Word say? Well, Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 32 says, "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ also forgave you." Now, you know what that means--that we're to respond to others as God responded to us. We're to respond in forgiveness in the same way that God responded to us in forgiveness. Jesus said, "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses." That's Mark, chapter 11, verse 25.
Hey, friends, that's serious stuff. Don't let there be any confusion in our thinking. God wants us to forgive one another. And sometimes we have difficulty granting forgiveness because we don't know what we're supposed to do. The Bible says we are to forgive as God forgave us.
Secondly, sometimes it's hard for me to grant forgiveness because of pride. Maybe that's true for you, too. I mean, after all, when our pride has been hurt it's easier to bear a grudge than it is to forgive, isn't it? Listen to the words of Proverbs 13, verse 10, "By pride comes only contention, but with the well-advised is wisdom." Proverbs 10, verses 12 and 13, "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. Wisdom is found on the lips of him who has understanding."
I think the thing that gets in the way of forgiving other people sometimes, is pride. To refuse to forgive someone is to destroy that person--and remember pride goes before destruction. That's what the Bible says.
Sometimes it's hard for us to grant forgiveness because of a bitter spirit, something we're harboring toward that person who has wronged us. They come to us and they want us to forgive them and we may even say, "Oh yes, I forgive you," but our spirit never does. Remember just before Paul counseled us to be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, this is what he said, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice." That's Ephesians 4, verse 31.
See, folks, you and I cannot possibly allow the two to co-exist in our hearts--bitterness and forgiveness. One of them will cancel out the other. And those feelings of bitterness make us want to get even, don't they? Feelings of tenderheartedness make us want to forgive. So if there's some bitterness toward the person who's wronged you in your life, you're not very apt to want to forgive them.
Today on Back to the Bible, we're talking about the need to forgive others. And we're thinking about what the Bible has to say about why it's so hard for us to do that. One of my favorite stories comes from Dale Carnegie. Dale Carnegie used to tell the story about a grizzly bear in Yellowstone National Park. This bear ruled the forest. I mean, he was the biggest, baddest bear around. He would terrorize picnickers, rummage through garbage cans; this grizzly is perhaps the most ferocious creature in North America.
And yet, while the grizzly was foraging for food in the trash, one day a tiny skunk wandered into his domain. Now the skunk was much smaller than the grizzly, to be sure. He was much less of a threat to tear the grizzly apart than the grizzly was a threat to tear him apart. But as you know, skunks have a secret weapon and the grizzly knew that. And when the skunk came around the grizzly gladly shared his garbage cans with him. Do you know why? Because the grizzly knew the high cost of getting even.
You know what forgiveness is, friends? It's knowing that you don't have to get even. Archibald Hart says, "Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me." That's what forgiveness is and sometimes our bitterness toward other people keeps us from becoming forgiving toward other people. If we would only appreciate the high cost of getting even--both the physical high cost and the spiritual, and the emotional high cost--I think we'd find it a lot easier to grant forgiveness to others.
But hard or not, forgiveness is something we must do; it is something we must grant. And since to forgive means, "to cancel a debt," (that's what we explored yesterday on the program), that means that certain requirements have to be met if we're able to forgive.
See, if you owe money to the bank, they're not simply going to cancel your debt. They're going to want some payment in order to cancel your debt, to forgive your debt. Now, wasn't that true of God? We had sinned against God. If He simply forgot about the sin, we could never enter heaven. If He had said, "Oh, your crime against Me is heinous all right, but I'm just going to forget about it, I'm going to forgive you," we would never truly be forgiven. No, forgiveness has order to it. It has precedence. There are duties on both sides of the fence when forgiveness is necessary.
So what is it that YOU have to do in order to grant forgiveness? "What must the person who has been wronged do," that's the question today. Well, there are at least two scenarios to forgiveness; I want to explore both of them in the next few minutes.
And there are innumerable variations to these two scenarios. I can't address each specific situation; I can't speak directly to your need to grant forgiveness. But I can search the Scriptures with you. I think together, you and I can come to some conclusions about what the Bible says our responsibility is when it's necessary for us to forgive.
Have a Bible there? Turn with me, if you'd like, to Matthew chapter 18. Let me present scenario one to you. Scenario one of the two possible scenarios is this--if someone does something wrong against you, scenario one is the go, repent, forgive scenario--the go, repent, forgive scenario. Listen to this, Matthew chapter 18 beginning to read at verse 15:
"Moreover," says Jesus, "if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector."
There's an old German expression I remember, it goes something like this--"Forgiveness is a meeting between four eyes." Deuteronomy, chapter 19, verse 15, tells us about that. "One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits; by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established." A meeting between four eyes--that means that you and I look one another into the eye and we have a meeting there. And it may take another set of eyes or two sets of eyes, witnesses to the hurt, but scenario one is the go, repent, forgive scenario.
See, if we go and a person repents of his sin against us, we simply forgive and we go on our way. If he doesn't repent, then we treat him as a heathen and a tax collector. Now, I have to admit to you, because I don't treat tax collectors this way, and there aren't that many heathen in my life (at least people I call heathen), I don't know that this means a whole lot to us today. It doesn't mean that we treat a person like dirt. It means we treat them as somebody on the outside, somebody on the outside of the fellowship of the church--one to be garnered, one to be worked on, to be brought back into the church.
I think what Jesus means is not to go your separate ways and never forgive, but to work to bring about forgiveness if forgiveness doesn't happen immediately--and we hope it does. Work to bring about forgiveness. Treat them as someone on the outside, a heathen or a tax collector.
Remember Jesus and the sinners and the tax collectors in Luke, chapter 15? He ate with them and that angered the Pharisees and the scribes. Jesus never treated publicans and tax collectors as the Pharisees did. He was always tenderhearted toward them. He was always kind. Jesus was always forgiving toward tax collectors.
And remember the purpose in going and seeking repentance--it's forgiving and restoration. Galatians, chapter 6, verses one and two, "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourselves lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Now, what he is saying there is the point of forgiveness is not for you to feel better. Oh you WILL feel better when you forgive someone, but the point of forgiveness is to go, have that person repent, forgive that person and restore them to the life of the church. Restoration is always the point of forgiveness. Scenario one then, is the go, repent, forgive scenario.
Scenario one is the ideal, but you and I have been around long enough to know scenario one doesn't always work. So there's scenario two. It's the forgive without going, no repentance scenario.
See, you're not always going to be dealing with a fellow believer. You're not always going to be hurt by someone who has the mind of Christ. So what do you do then? You see, scenario one--go to your believer friend and if the friend does not repent of sin, bring in one or two witnesses and if that doesn't work tell it to the church--scenario one isn't always the scenario in which you live.
If the one who slanders you, the one who harms you, the one who threatens you is of no mind to repent, how can you possibly forgive them? Remember what true repentance is--true repentance is canceling a debt. Can you cancel a debt if they do not repent?
Suppose your neighbor dumps his trash in your back yard. Now, listen, this is not a far-fetched story--this happened to a friend of mine while I was in seminary. This neighbor would dump his trashcans over the fence into my seminary friend's backyard. So, suppose it happens to you, a neighbor dumps his trash in your yard. What do you do?
Well you go to him. Obviously, you can't just let this go on, you reason with him, you seek some understanding, but he doesn't want to repent. So what do you do then? Well, you fume, you become bitter, you retaliate, you set up the conditions by which you will forgive--remember to cancel a debt means the payment of that debt. In scenario one, the brother who sinned and repented was won; his debt was paid. It was paid by his repentance; the debt was canceled. But in scenario two, the man who sinned would not repent.
You just can't forget it--that's not forgiveness. You can't ignore it--that's not forgiveness. You can't just ask God to forgive it--that's not YOU forgiving him. So what do you do? Well, you may not like the answer, but I think this is what the Bible teaches--you pay the debt yourself. That's what God did, isn't it? I mean, we sinned, God paid the debt with His own Son. It was Christ's death that appeased God's anger, not our repentance. The benefits of Christ's death did not become real to us until we repented. But I have to tell you folks, God's anger was removed when His forgiveness was given at Calvary.
Now, if you heard the broadcast yesterday, remember that I said that a debt could be canceled at any time. You have the power to do that without the one offending you making any apology to you. That's what Jesus did when He was on the cross, isn't it? When He said, "Father, forgive them," nobody apologized to Him. Nobody came and took Him down from the cross and said, "What a horrible mistake we've made." Nobody said to Him, "Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry for what we've done."
No apology was made, but a debt was paid and it was canceled and Jesus forgave. He could do that because He was paying the debt. He was canceling the debt with His own blood. We can only cancel a debt when it's paid. And if the one who has offended us will not pay it with his repentance then, my friend, you and I have to pay it with our grace.
You see, this occurs when the one who offends us is already gone. Maybe the person who has offended you was your father. Maybe he abused you as a child. Maybe he was never kind to your mother or to anyone in your family and now your father is dead and you're still holding onto your grief and you're still holding onto your bitterness and your resentment and you still are not forgiving. And you know who you're hurting? Not your father, you're hurting yourself. We have to forgive in our grace when the other person cannot be forgiven with his repentance.
And that happens when the one who has offended us is dead. It happens when the one who has offended us has not been filled with the Spirit of God, is not a believer. That happens when the one who has offended us is unrepentant. We can still forgive with our grace; we can pay the debt with our grace--just the way God did. We don't want to become bitter, we don't want to be vengeful, we want God to forgive us of our sins and we'd rather forgive than just forget.
And listen to me, my friend, I want to ask you today to join me in prayer as I close. Maybe you're the one who needs to forgive somebody else and you've found it very, very hard. I'm sure God found it hard to forgive us, too, but He did so--not because of what we did but because of His grace. And you know what? You can do exactly the same thing. Will you pray with me, please as I close?
"Now, Dear Father, we want so much to be like You. You forgave us. You paid the debt for us. And even though You expect us to repent of our sin and turn to You in faith, Your anger toward us was appeased by Christ's death, not by our response to it. So, help us, Dear Father, help us to know the right thing to do when someone has wronged us and help us to do the right thing. Lord, don't let us get caught up in the details of forgiveness. Let us be forgiving in any case because we know that's what pleases You the most.
"Help us, Father, to realize that if we forgive someone who hasn't made adequate repentance, You'll forgive us. Let us be more like You, Father, and even though our forgiveness does not automatically bring restoration for one who has sinned, we will have done for them what You did for us. Thank You, Lord. Thank You for helping us grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, in whose name I pray. Amen."
By Woodrow Kroll
www.backtothebible.org
Copyright �1996-2001 The Good News Broadcasting Association, Inc.
All rights reserved.
July 11, 2001
What Is Forgiveness?
Part 3 - Seeking Forgiveness From Others
By Woodrow Kroll
If you think granting forgiveness is hard, try asking for it. There's almost nothing harder to do than admitting you were wrong, nothing quite so humbling as confessing failure, few acts as painful as returning to the person you sinned against and seeking forgiveness. It makes us vulnerable; it puts our pride and dignity at risk. They may laugh at us, or ridicule us or worse yet, get angry. And who wants to face that? Still, forgiveness is something you and I need to seek from others, probably more often than we care to admit.
Well, from the pages of God's Word, we want to see our biblical mandate and encouragement for seeking forgiveness from those we've wronged or sinned against. It's not an easy or enjoyable task, and you may come up with every possible excuse to get out of doing it, but it's clearly taught in God's Word and that's our code of conduct as followers of Jesus Christ. Today, folks, we are going to see what the Bible has to say about when it is our turn to ask for forgiveness.
You see, this is the flip side of our study yesterday. Today we will explore the appropriate ways for us to ask forgiveness from others. Is it really necessary? What if the other person is unwilling to forgive us? You see those are big issues, aren't they? But the Bible has answers for those issues and we want to see what the Bible has to say.
Now if you thought granting forgiveness was hard, try asking for it. That's one of the toughest things we have to do as Christians. That's why the two least words heard in the English language are, "I'm sorry." Is it really necessary? Is it really necessary that I go to someone and ask for forgiveness when I have wronged them?
Well I don't know that you are going to like that answer, but I think the Bible says, "Yes, it is." Remember what Jesus said. Matthew 5:23-24, "For if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
Now let's make sure we have this correct. If our brother has something against us, then we are the offender and he the offendee. Here we are told to go to him if we have offended someone. But didn't Jesus reverse that order in Matthew 18:15? "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault." See, in this verse you the offendee is told to go to the offender. Why is that?
Well I think the reason is, Jesus covered it both ways, folks. If the offended party always went to the offender for reconciliation and the offended one for reconciliation do you know what would happen? We'd meet in the middle, wouldn't we? And you know--that's not a bad place for us to meet.
Yeah, it is necessary for you to go the one who has offended you and ask for forgiveness, and yes, it is necessary for you to go to the one you have offended and seek repentance. Ah, but listen to me folks. The Bible tells you that you are always the one that needs to go. Now don't wait on the other person. If you are spiritual enough to understand God's Word, you are spiritual enough to make the first move.
But I know there are going to be objections to your going and seeking forgiveness. There always are. We always come up with a great number of exceptions to Jesus' rule and somehow, isn't it interesting, those exceptions always seem to apply to our case.
Well, what are the most common excuses Christians give hoping they will get out of going to someone and asking for forgiveness? Sometimes Christians say, "Oh, it happened before I was saved. You know, all things are now under the blood. I'm a new creature in Christ." But your new Lord, my friends, still says to you, "Go."
Now, once we are saved, our sins are forgiven. We still have a responsibility to make things right if we can. Remember Zacchaeus? He repaid all those from whom he had stolen. His wrongs were before he was saved. Luke 19:8 says, "Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, "Look Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold."
You see, folks, it does not matter when it happened. Go and make it right. Everything Zacchaeus did, he did before he came to trust Christ. But after he trusted Christ, that's when restoration kicked in. "Yeah," a lot of people say, "well, okay. It's an exception for me because it happened before I was saved." The Bible doesn't say that's an exception, the Bible says, "Go."
Secondly, a lot of people say, "What I did was so insignificant, it just doesn't matter." Well, friend, if it is big enough to bother you, it's big enough for you to go. Isn't it?
Since it came to your mind, I'd say it is big enough to bother you. Perhaps you've been stealing pens or pencils from the office. Maybe you've been stretching your lunch hour a little longer than you are allowed. Maybe you've been snacking at the grocery store and not paying for what you've eaten. See, all these things seem like such little things, don't they? But the way to get free from a troubled conscience is to go and seek forgiveness. Nothing is too insignificant.
Sometimes people say, "I can't do it, I can't make it right, I don't know where that person is." Perhaps the person you wronged has moved far away from you. Maybe it was a neighbor and you have to make an effort to track that neighbor down. So, what should you do? Make the effort.
You see, I still have students from twenty sometimes thirty years ago write me every now and then and confess they cheated on an exam. But making the effort was worth it. They repented, I forgave them, now they are free from their guilt. That's the way it is supposed to be. Regardless of what the effort is, regardless of what it takes, you need to make the effort. You can make it right.
Some people say, "Well, I can't do it because I can't afford to do it. I mean, there is money involved."
So, if you stole pencils, replace the pencils or pay for them. If you stole money, replace the money. If you're sincere in seeking forgiveness, you may have to tell the Internal Revenue Service that you have cheated on your tax forms and at the very least, that may mean a payment of those back taxes. It may even mean a fine.
So, which is better? To make it right, even if you cannot afford it, or to carry a guilty conscience to your grave and ultimately to the judgment seat of Christ? No, make it right, folks. Seek forgiveness. It's easy to say, isn't it? But it's not so easy to do.
When you seek forgiveness, I wonder how you should do it. What does the Bible say? What are some biblical principles relating to asking for forgiveness? Well, that's what today's broadcast is all about so let's talk about those things. What does the Bible say, what is the right way for you to go and seek forgiveness from someone? Let me suggest several things to you:
1) You need to start with God. Confess your sin to Him. Confess your sin to the One against whom you really have sinned. Seek His forgiveness first. 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Number one, start with God.
2) Get a right perspective. Remember that forgiveness is canceling a debt. You're going to someone to ask them to cancel your debt to them. And if they choose not to do it, that's their business and it's God's business. You do what is right, even if no one else does. Get a right perspective on this.
3) When you are asking forgiveness of someone, take responsibility. You see, forgiveness is never one-sided. Never expect the other person even to share in the blame. You're dealing only with your guilt, your attitude, that's the responsibility. Say to yourself, As far as I am concerned, it's my sole responsibility to make things right. And when you go to that person, never say, "If I've offended you, I'm sorry." You know what folks? There are no ifs about it. Take responsibility. Don't be conditional. Do the right thing. Take the responsibility. Be proactive.
I remember reading a story one time about two farmers who were involved in a lawsuit over exactly where the fence between their two properties ought to be. And finally one of the farmers sold his land--he just sold out, he moved on. And when the new farmer moved in the place that he had purchased, soon the farmer who was agitated at his neighbor came to the new farmer and he said, "They tell you 'bout this farm? I just want to inform you, you have bought a lawsuit."
The new farmer said, "Yes, I know."
And the neighboring farmer said, "Well, I want you to know that fence is two feet on my land and it cheats me out of two feet of land."
The newcomer said kindly, "Well, let's move it back four feet."
"No, no, no, that's more than I ask."
But the new neighbor said, "I would rather have peace with my neighbors, than a few feet of earth."
And as the story goes on, the neighbor farmer quietly said, "If that's the way you feel about it, the fence stays right where it is and the lawsuit is off."
You see, when you take responsibility, when you are proactive in dealing with difficulties you have with others, the need for forgiveness, God takes responsibility in forgiving. And He helps you forgive and you receive forgiveness. He helps the other person forgive and He forgives both of you. I'll tell you, friends, that's a deal you cannot turn down.
4)keep short accounts. Don't put off seeking forgiveness until you have you have a whole list of things to confess. Ask for forgiveness as soon as the offense occurs and as often as it occurs.
You men, one of the best ways for you to get along with your wife--for you to go to bed every night and think about all of the things you've done that have probably offended her that day and no matter how long it takes, get all those debts cancelled. That's why the Bible tells us about not allowing the sun to go down on our wrath. Keep short accounts. Don't let things build up. Deal with all of the little things every day so the little things don't become big things sometime in your life.
5) Maintain small circles. You know the scope of your confession will be determined by the scope of your transgression. I want to say that again because that's important. The scope of your confession will be determined by the scope of your transgression. The fewest number of people possible should hear you ask for forgiveness. See, personal sin should be kept very personal. Ask only God to forgive you because if it's personal sin you and God are the two involved.
Private sin should be confessed in private--only those involved. And if it's your wife or your husband, then confess to God and to them and to them only. Public sin should be confessed publicly, in the right setting, such as before the church today.
See, the smallest concentric circle in which you sin in is also the smallest concentric circle in which you ask for forgiveness. You do not need to blab to the church all of the things you have done. You only need to confess them to the ones against whom you have done them.
Now if your sin is public, obviously you need to go public with that sin. You need to publicly ask for forgiveness from all those who know of your sin. But it is important that you maintain the smallest circles possible in dealing with your sin. Nothing is gained, nobody is benefited, by you making a public display of sin that nobody knew about anyway and nobody was affected with anyway.
6) Make confession personal. I think it's important if you're going to confess sin to someone, somebody you've hurt, I think it is important that you go to that person, go to that individual.
Telephone calls and letters are very weak substitutes--weak substitutes for asking forgiveness in person. You know what the worst thing that has happened in the last fifty years? E-mail! People trying to communicate via e-mail.
Now look, you and I use e-mail everyday, but e-mail does not convey emotion. You can never kid on e-mail. You can never joke on e-mail unless you tell people it's a joke. You can never apologize on e-mail. Go to the individual, unless the person is a great distance away and you cannot confess in person.
Go to them. And if you can't go, then call them. I think that's the next most personal thing. If you can't call then write them. Make your request for forgiveness a personal thing. Make it as personal as possible. Don't allow yourself to be guilty of not making your confession in person.
One of my favorite stories about Winston Churchill...Churchill was a remarkable fellow. I love reading biographies of Churchill and reading stories about him. And one of the stories is one night at a dinner party, Lady Churchill was seated across the table from Sir Winston and Winston kept making his hand walk up and down, two fingers, bent at the knuckles. The fingers appeared to be walking toward Lady Churchill.
And finally her dinner partner asked, "Why is Sir Winston looking at you so wistfully and whatever is he doing with those knuckles on the table?" Lady Churchill responded, "Oh, that's simple. We had a mild quarrel before we left home and he's indicating that it's his fault and he's on his knees, to me, with his apology."
I think that's neat, don't you? I mean, he could not wait until the end of the dinner party to make his confession to his wife.
7) If you're the one who needs to ask for forgiveness, principle number seven is make amends. Do the right thing. Make amends. Be a Zacchaeus not a weasel.
If you have taken merchandise from a store, return it. If you have stolen a good person's reputation, restore it. Do an about face. And don't just go back, go beyond back. Make amends, make it right. Remember Zacchaeus? I mean here's an example of a fellow who had a lot to make amends about. And he not only gave back what he stole, he gave four times what he took. That's making amends.
There is nothing better than having your conscience cleared and your sins forgiven. And if you need to ask someone to forgive you, don't put it off. You only do so to your own anguish. Be a spiritually mature Christian. Be responsible. Do the right thing.
Now folks, I know it is not easy to go to someone, face to face, and admit that you've wronged them. It's like the woman who said to her friend, "I am not used to talking to your face, I normally talk behind your back." But difficulty is not the issue here folks, responsibility is. If you have wronged someone, offended someone, if you've cheated someone, slandered, lied about someone, if you've stolen from someone, if you've been unfaithful to someone, whatever it is--make it right.
Get it right with God first. Confess your sin to Him first because ultimately He's the One you've sinned against. And then, get it right with that person. Ask for forgiveness. You know why? Because it's the right thing to do.
By Woodrow Kroll
www.backtothebible.org
Copyright �1996-2001 The Good News Broadcasting Association, Inc.
All rights reserved.
July 18, 2001
What Is Forgiveness?
Part 4 - The Results of Forgiveness
By Woodrow Kroll
When I practice forgiveness, what can I expect to see happen in my life? One of the realities of life is that we get hurt or wronged by other people and we do our fair share of injury and injustice to them in return. You probably don't have to think too far back to recall an incident where you either needed to forgive or to seek forgiveness.
This is an issue that's critical to our spiritual success since an unforgiving or unrepentant spirit can get in the way of our relationship with the Lord. We're currently looking at what the Bible tells us about forgiveness, and today we want to take a closer look at the fruits or benefits of being a person who both offers and seeks forgiveness when it's appropriate.
Today is the proverbial bottom line, Don. What are the results of forgiveness? If everything goes the way the Bible describes, friends, what should we expect? What are the benefits of seeking or granting forgiveness? What lies ahead for the forgiver and for the person who's been forgiven?
Now, have you ever had to go to someone and ask forgiveness? How did it feel before you went? It's pretty scary, wasn't it? But how did you feel after you returned? Much better, right? Ah, indeed that's true. But being forgiven is more than feeling good. You see, the fruit of forgiveness--it's kind of like going to a Hawaiian luau. The banquet table is full. Let's see what the Bible has to say are the results of forgiveness--when you take care of forgiving someone else or when you go to someone that you have wronged and ask them to forgive you. What benefits can both of you see? What are the seven fruits of forgiveness?
Number 1. One of the great fruits of being forgiven is reconciliation.
You know, you have become estranged from someone, perhaps someone who's very dear to you. But seeking and granting forgiveness--when you do that--you can be reconciled with that person whether it's your spouse, or your son or your daughter, or a neighbor, a brother, a sister.
You see, to be reconciled means to be at peace with someone. It's signing a peace treaty. But that's not enough--only forgiveness heals a wounded relationship. Do you remember Jesus' words in Matthew 18:15? "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." Now think about that statement for a moment.
If your brother hears you--that is, if he recognizes his sin and repents--you have been reconciled with your brother. You have gained your brother. But does that mean you have lost a brother if no reconciliation takes place? Well, it probably does. Oh, he still may be your brother, but he will be a stranger to you until peace replaces hostility.
And just as you've been reconciled to God by the blood of Jesus Christ, you and I need to be reconciled to those people from whom we've become estranged. When you make peace, you make it through forgiveness. One of the great fruits of forgiveness is being reconciled to one another. Ah, friends, it's worth the effort. The fruit of forgiveness is reconciliation.
Now here's the second fruit of forgiveness--it's the right relationship with the Lord.
You and I seek that kind of relationship all the time, and often I have people write to me here and say, "How can I have a right relationship with God?" Well, when our relationship to others is out of whack, friends, our relationship to God is also out of whack. John alludes to this problem in his first epistle. He says, 1 John, chapter 4, verse 20, "If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?"
Now that's a pretty good question, isn't it? And basically what that question means is this--that if our relationship with our brother, our relationship with our spouse, our relationship with our kids or our parents, if our relationship with somebody at church is not what it ought to be, then automatically, friends, our relationship with God is not what it ought to be. You see, getting into a right relationship with others may be the fruit of a right relationship with God, but frequently the street runs the other direction. We have to make right our relationship with others in order to be in a right relationship with God. And that means seeking or granting forgiveness. A right relationship with God is one of the seven fruits of forgiveness. I hope it's one of the fruits in your life.
Well, let's go on and see another one. For me, one of the excellent benefits of forgiveness, I find in my prayer life.
You know, Jesus teaches us a very valuable lesson about this in Mark, chapter 11. Right after that great passage about having faith to move mountains, Jesus says, "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses." That's verse 25.
Now, did you see the relationship there? If you are praying, He says, "Stop. Seek or grant forgiveness first, whichever the case is necessary for you and then come back to your praying." Do you know why He says that? Why is it important that you or I seek or grant forgiveness before we pray? The answer, friends, is so that God will hear our prayers. There's just something about that faulty relationship with other people that sets up a roadblock to our prayer life.
Are you getting through to God today? Do you ever have a difficult time getting answers from God? You know, it's not beyond the realm of possibility that your relationship to other people is what's causing a faulty relationship in your prayer life. Harboring an unforgiving spirit or not asking someone to forgive us, that's sin, friend. And the Bible reminds us, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear [me]," Psalm 66, verse 18.
Now, if you're having a good prayer life--if things are going very well between you and God, you have a great talk with Him several times a day--the chances are pretty good that you also have a good relationship with other people around you. One of the fruits of forgiveness is an excellent and a vibrant prayer life.
Now what I do in my prayer life is this, I say, "Lord, how am I doing? Am I getting through to You? Are You responding to me?" I take a little prayer check every now and then and if it doesn't seem like things are working the way they ought to, you know the first place I look? I look to my relationship to God and then immediately after that, I look to my relationship with other people. Am I harboring an unforgiving spirit toward someone? Did somebody hurt me in some way and I say, "Well, I'm not going to deal with that person." Did they say something about me that I resented and I failed to forgive them? You see, friends, there are so many things that you and I can do that set up these roadblocks that keep us from getting through to God.
Today we're thinking about the benefits of forgiveness--the results of forgiveness, the fruits of forgiveness. And one of those, obviously, one of the fruits of forgiveness is reconciliation. And another is our relationship with the Lord is right. But a third one is our prayer life is right as well. If you're not getting through to God, think about whether or not there is something between you and a brother, or a sister, or a friend.
Now another fruit of forgiveness is the removal of bitterness. Let's think about that for a few minutes.
There's an undeniable link, I think, between a bitter spirit and a spirit of unforgiveness. And the more bitter the person becomes, the less likely they are to forgive. Haven't you noticed that in people? Maybe, unfortunately, you've even noticed it in yourself. Listen to this, these are the words of the apostle Paul. He said, "do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you." Now that's Ephesians, chapter 4, verses 30, 31 and 32.
Did you notice the contrast there? I mean it is absolutely evident. In one verse, he says to put away bitterness; he says to put away wrath and anger, all those things that eat away at our spirit. And in the very next verse, he says to be kind to one another, to be tenderhearted toward your friends, tenderhearted toward your parents, forgiving one another. You see, the first is juxtaposed to the second. The first is diametrically opposed to the second. If you have the first, my friend, you won't have the second. If you practice the second, there won't be any room for the first. You see, bitterness and forgiveness are mutually exclusive.
Ah, but listen--there's good news. If you truly forgive, you have rooted out the root of bitterness. You see, it's an easy thing to say, "I want to forgive my friends," and not forgive them because we're so bitter toward them. It's a very easy thing for you to say, "I'd like to forgive parents who treated me badly," but I'm so bitter toward them I can't forgive. You see, one of the things that you and I have to do in our lives if we want to enjoy the fruit of forgiveness is we have to root out bitterness from our lives. We have to stop being bitter toward those who have hurt us.
You know, that's not easy. And I can hear you now, saying, "Boy, I'd like to do that, but how do I do it?" Well, listen to the Bible again. Ephesians, chapter 4, "do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice."
Now to be put away simply means you discard it. You cut it off. You don't feed it anymore. The things that are feeding your bitterness, you stop those things. The thoughts that feed your bitterness--keep those thoughts from your minds. Cut them out. Do you know how to cut them out? You do the opposite thing. Here it is. "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you."
If you truly forgive, my friend, you have rooted out that root of bitterness and your relationship with God and all those around you will take a dramatic upturn. Remember it this way--the fruit of forgiveness is always better than the root of bitterness.
If you have someone today toward whom your feelings are absolutely bitter--maybe somebody who has hurt you deeply; a friend who betrayed a confidence; a friend who treated you shabbily; a parent who abused you as a child; a brother who just never got it, he just never appreciated you--if you're still living in bitterness toward any of those people, if you haven't been able to bring yourself to cancel their debt (that's what forgiveness means) then you're robbing yourself of the fruit of forgiveness. And one of the fruits of forgiveness is removing the bitterness in your life.
Now today, we're looking at the fruits of forgiving--the benefits of forgiveness. We've seen, thus far, four of them. Let's look at another. Number 5. Another fruit of being forgiven just could be revival in your life--both personal revival and corporate revival.
You see, folks, when we're reconciled to someone we've wronged, following hard on the heels of that reconciliation is revival--it's getting right with God and, subsequently, getting right with people. D. L. Moody, the great American preacher, once said it this way, he said, "The one sin that is doing more to hold back the power of God in revival than any other is an unforgiving spirit." And you know what? He may be right.
There are some people that pray every day for revival and they hold a grudge against somebody that hurt them at the same time. Friends, those are counter-productive activities. Satan knows that it's the little foxes that spoil the vines. Sometimes great movements of God at a local assembly, a great revival at a local church may be thwarted simply by two people who are unforgiving toward each other.
In fact, isn't that exactly what Paul addressed in the disagreement between Euodia, and Syntyche in Philippians, chapter 4? Revival in that church was just too important to let two unforgiving women spoil it for everyone. Listen my friend, when we forgive one another in the same way that God forgave us, it will not BRING revival in the church--it will BE revival in the church. And one of the great fruits of forgiveness is the fruit of revival.
Well, we're looking at seven such fruits of forgiveness today. Number 6 is this--a great reason for forgiving one another is to ensure that God has forgiven us.
Remember Jesus' words in the Lord's Prayer, Matthew chapter 6? "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." Now that either means forgive us in the same way we forgive others, or it means forgive us to the same extent that we forgive others. Now, to tell you the truth, either way I'm not sure I'm happy about that, are you? Either way, if we are not going to forgive, we are not forgiven. If it means forgive us to the same extent that we forgive others, do you want that to be God's criterion for forgiving you--the same extent that you forgive others? Or if it means to receive God's forgiveness in the same way that I forgive somebody else--I'm not sure I want that to be the criterion either.
But that's what the Bible says. Jesus continued immediately after that prayer, and He said, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." And then this warning--"But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Folks, that's pretty plain, isn't it? Those are pretty stern words from the Lord. They indicate that one of the fruits of forgiveness is to know that we have been forgiven by God. And all of that in itself, that's enough to make us want to be forgiving.
We've been considering today the seven fruits of forgiveness. Now we've come to the last. Maybe I've saved the best for the last. The seventh benefit of forgiving or seeking forgiveness is to have a clear conscience.
Now having a clear conscience is something that a lot of us wish we had--isn't that true? Having a clear conscience is not an easy thing, but it is a necessary thing. Christianity is a religion of the conscience, friends. It's more than an adherence to external rules. It is the heart that is in tune with God. And once we're convicted of wrong, we're going to be absolutely miserable until we make that wrong right.
Haven't you found that true in your own life? The Holy Spirit dwelling within us is going to see to it that we are miserable once we know we have done wrong until we make the wrong right. That's what the convicting power of the Spirit is all about in the believer. Titus, chapter 1, verse 15 refers to a defiled conscience. When we are unforgiving, that's the kind of conscience we have. But 1 Peter 3:16 and 1 Timothy 1:5 speak of a good conscience.
Now be honest with me, which would you rather have? A defiled conscience--one that's soiled because you've been unforgiving--or a good conscience--one that's been cleaned because you have been forgiving? There's an old proverb that says, "A good conscience is a soft pillow." And wasn't it the actor, Eddie Cantor that said, "A sleeping pill will never take the place of a clear conscience"? The people in Hollywood ought to know that. Would you prefer a conscience that thumped like a sore thumb all the time or would you prefer a conscience that was soothed, a conscience that was freed from pain, a conscience freed from distress?
You know, you can have this last kind of conscience, but only when you are free from offense to God and to others. And to be free from offense to God and others, you have to be both forgiven and forgiving. And that my friends, that is why being forgiven is so important. The fruits of forgiveness are worth cultivating. And they're worth hanging on to once you have them in your grasp.
Being a forgiven Christian today is being a forgiving Christian. Wouldn't it be grand to be able to stand up today, free from bitterness, free from a grudge, free from long-standing hatred? You can, if you seek forgiveness from God by confessing your sin to Him and then seek forgiveness from someone else that you've wronged, or grant forgiveness to someone who's wronged you. That, my friend, that is the benefit, the fruit of forgiveness. And it's a benefit that is certainly worth the effort. Why don't you try it and see.
By Woodrow Kroll
www.backtothebible.org
Copyright �1996-2001 The Good News Broadcasting Association, Inc.
All rights reserved.
July 25, 2001
What is Forgiveness?
Part 5 - A True Story of Forgiveness & Its Fruits
By Woodrow Kroll
Sometimes, the best way to understand something is to see it working. You'll see forgiveness in action today. We've spent our week looking at forgiveness, what it means, what the Bible teaches, how it works, and what results we can expect. And now we want to see it in action. With the help of a real life story, I think you'll get a better understanding of what it takes to both forgive and seek forgiveness in the way that God desires.
If we forgive the way the Bible says we should, if we seek forgiveness the way the Bible says we should, there ought to be some benefits, both to being forgiven and being the forgiver, as we saw yesterday. Today, I want to relate a true story of forgiveness, and the fruit that it brings. I think this story is going to touch your heart, friends. I think it also will demonstrate to all of us some of the lasting lessons about what real forgiveness is.
This is a story that comes from the book, Hope Grows in Winter. It's a book that I edited with George Miller III. And this chapter is written by Dr. Robert Lightner. Dr. Lightner is a Professor Emeritus from Dallas Seminary in Dallas, Texas. He tells this story in a first-person way. I simply want to relate Dr. Lightner's story to you today.
He says that July 1, 1992, was a very normal day in the Tarrant County Courthouse in Fort Worth, Texas. Prosecutors and defense attorneys all expected to win their cases. No one anticipated witnessing a blood bath.
At about 10:00 A.M., George Douglas Lott walked into the fourth-floor courtroom of the Second Court of Appeals. Lott was neatly dressed. He had a briefcase in his hand. He found a seat and he settled in. And after a few minutes, George Lott quietly opened his briefcase. He pulled out a 9 mm semiautomatic handgun and he fired at random.
In just a few minutes, Chris Marshall, a Tarrant County assistant district attorney, lay dead. A Mr. Conder and appellate judges John Hill and Clyde Ashworth were seriously wounded. John Edwards, who was only 33 at the time, was a Dallas attorney. John Edwards ran from the room when the shooting began. But George Lott, the gunman, reloaded, chased John Edwards into a stairwell, and shot him dead.
Well, needless to say, a lot of hopes and dreams were shattered that day. George Lott did what commentators on WFAA-TV called a "horrible, horrible thing." Could the families of Chris Marshall and John Edwards ever look into Lott's face without hatred? Could anyone find hope and forgiveness?
You know, forgiveness is vital to the human condition. We human beings cannot relate to God without forgiveness. And that's because God is sinless; we are not. But it's equally true that we can't successfully relate to one another unless we are forgiving, as well. No human relationship exists very long without tension. Conflict, inflicted pain, misunderstanding, alienation, hurt feelings--these are all parts of life, friends. If you're not experiencing one or more of these right now, likely they are just around the corner.
Well, let me get back to Dr. Lightner's story. Lightner says that the need to find hope and forgiveness was most dramatically demonstrated to him in the case of George Lott. His trial was brief because Lott, who was a University of Texas law school graduate and a former lawyer, insisted on defending himself. Dr. Lightner was serving as interim pastor at Calvary Presbyterian Church in Fort Worth. Nancy Lott, George Lott's mother, was an active member there. She was in church the morning the headlines announced the decision of the Amarillo jury that her son should die by lethal injection. It took the jury only about an hour to convict him on February 12, 1993.
Robert Lightner says that it was through Nancy that he came to be George's friend. Twice he spoke to George Lott in the Fort Worth jail before his trial. Lott and he sat together in a small, heavily guarded room and they talked. Robert Lightner says George never denied doing what he was accused of doing or that he was in his right mind when he did it. Lott also assured Dr. Lightner that, despite his horrible crime, he had genuinely trusted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior years before.
Well, one day Lott confided in Robert Lightner that the events that led up to the courtroom killings were difficult events. He had gone through a divorce. A court in another state had awarded custody of his young son to his former wife. He insisted this court and the jury were prejudiced against him, and no one would listen to him. George Lott took out his anger and his bitterness on innocent people, people who simply represented the justice system that, in George's mind, had let him down. If anyone ever had need of forgiveness, it was George Lott.
Now, let me just say, folks, that the concept of forgiveness is not found in most religions. The Hindu, for example, know much about morality, much about devotion, but Hinduism does not make provision for forgiveness. Among the religions, only the God of the Bible completely forgives sin. Our God is the God of hope. Our God is the God of forgiveness. He brings hope to the hopeless and help to the helpless. You don't find that kind of god in other religions, but that's the kind of God you're going to find in the Bible. And friends, that's the kind of God George Lott found as well.
A missionary to Alaska once told me that the Eskimo language has no word for forgiveness. In fact, he says the closest word means not being able to think about it again. You know what I think, that's a pretty good definition of forgiveness. To forgive is a choice, folks. It's a choice you make, not to hurt the one who has hurt you. It's a choice to cancel that person's debt to you, to forgive it freely and graciously with no strings attached. That's a choice you have to make. It's a choice you have to make in your life almost every day. Some people don't make that kind of choice.
I remember hearing a story of former Russian premier, Nikita Khrushchev. Khrushchev once said to American journalists, "We communists have many things in common with the teachings of Jesus Christ. My sole difference with Christ is that when someone hits me on the right cheek, I hit them on the left so hard that his head falls off." Well, so much for the concept of forgiveness.
Martha Edwards is the widow of John Edwards, the man who was shot in that hallway that day. She was left without a loving husband to raise her three small boys. Martha Edwards told Dr. Robert Lightner that she had forgiven George Lott. Now, that wasn't easy, and I'm sure it wasn't easy for her to do. It took time for her to reach the point where she could forgive her husband's murderer. And at first she lived with the despair that results from hopelessness. Eventually though, forgiveness replaced her anger and her bitterness. Martha said that when she forgave, she discovered hope again, hope that she and her three boys could go on with their lives. See, folks, forgiveness did not bring her husband back, but it did free her from the bondage of bitterness and give her the gift of hope.
Now, not many of us have been grieved as was Martha Edwards. Not many of us have had a loved one murdered. Some of you have, but not many. But other wrongs are very real, others are exceedingly painful, whether they involve the actions of a spouse, or a child, or perhaps a betraying friend, someone who promised to love you forever and then reneged on that vow. You and I can endure a lifetime of pain without bringing closure, closure to the hostilities against those who have disappointed us. It takes courage to do what Martha Edwards did--to enjoy the freedom of forgiveness and rekindle hope in your heart and in your life.
Now, I need to point out to you today, that there are three steps necessary in forgiving, three steps that Martha Edwards took. First of all, we need to face the facts. We need to acknowledge the wrongdoing and then reaffirm love. Secondly, we need to release the past. We need to let it go, friends. We need not to live in the past. But thirdly, we need to forgive the person who has done wrong to us. See, if we fail to take any of these steps, we not only fail to forgive, we also fail to rise out of the quagmire of hopelessness that engulfs those who have hurt us. But if we take all three steps, these three steps can lead to hope in your life.
Let's think about them individually.
Number one, face the facts. The road to forgiveness begins with the acknowledgment that the offense was committed and it was committed to us. It's perfectly normal to see the other party as the offender, the guilty one, isn't it? And the other party may, in fact, be the primary one responsible. Let's face it, George Lott was guilty of killing John Edwards; he admitted it, and Martha Edwards knew it. This was indeed a one-sided justice. But God helped Martha to the place of forgiveness. Oh sure, Lott pulled the trigger. John Edwards died. But Martha Edwards forgave.
Such obvious one-sided injustices, probably, are very rare in our society. We occasionally witness one-way violations in which one person is obviously the offender and the other the offended. But when pain exists in relationships within our families, within your friendships, at work, in other communities, it's a rare thing indeed, isn't it, when more than one party does not contribute to that difficulty. It generally takes two to generate a hurt. And that's why it's so important that you and I recognize that we not only seek forgiveness, but we give forgiveness.
See, if we're to find hope in forgiveness, we have to accept that nothing is to be gained by pointing the finger of blame. We have to be willing to see our own culpability. Now, this man John Edwards did nothing. He was not culpable at all. He's not to be blamed at all. And neither was Martha Edwards. But that's rare in society, isn't it? We dare not, friends, we dare not tone down the seriousness of the problem nor put a guilt trip on some other person. In talking with that other person, the one who has hurt you, we should simply accept our share of the blame rather than bring up that other person's share. See, it's not much fun assigning blame, but if you really want there to be hope in your life, you have to take a look at what your role is in all of this. And your role may be to reaffirm love, not to assign blame.
I said there are three steps in dealing with forgiveness in our lives. And the first step is the step of facing the facts. Sometimes the people who have hurt us the worst have hurt us because we have hurt them. Face those facts, and you'll become forgiving, too.
Now secondly, after we face the facts, the second thing we have to do in dealing with forgiveness is we have to release the past. You know, we often hang on to the past resentments because our anger has not yet been satisfied. And even when the past seems to be fading, we try to keep it in our grasp, isn't that true? We want our demands met and we want to get even. Can you imagine what would have happened in the story that Robert Lightner tells if Martha Edwards wanted to get even--an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth? You see, when such attitudes prevail, we will not be able to give or to experience forgiveness.
Ah, friends, listen, the past cannot be undone. The unchangeable cannot be changed. You can't go back and turn time backward and deal with the past. Cruel, hurtful words cannot be returned. Husbands and fathers who have been abusive cannot go back and take back that abuse. George Lott murdered John Edwards; they could not go back and undo that. What God would have us to do instead of going back to the past, what God would have us to do, He exhorted the Hebrew Christians to do, He said, "Let us press on to maturity" (Heb. 6:1). See, if we hold back and hold on to our grudges, we can't move ahead toward reconciliation.
And since the past can't be changed or undone, we have to give our demands related to the past, over to God. As best as we can, we have to let the past go. David Augsburger said it so well in his book. He said:
"Forgiveness is willingly accepting the other on the basis of loving and leveling, of our caring and confronting, agreeing to be genuine with each other here, now and in the future. Forgiveness is being willing to let it be with the best that we can achieve now and to move on into the future."
Now, I think that's important folks. Forgetting past injustices does not necessarily mean wiping them out of our minds. That's likely not going to happen. It does mean letting go of the hurt, releasing it to God, moving on toward completeness in Christ. You can't forgive and forget, but you can forgive and forsake. Don't beat yourself up by remembering. Don't beat yourself up by not doing what you can't do. Hold yourself accountable for doing what you must do.
See, there's hope in forgiving others, but not if we cling tightly to the hurt that they've caused us. Martha Edwards could never forget what George Lott did to her husband, but she could forgive him and she could let it go. And the only hope she had to restore sanity to her broken world was the hope of forgiveness. And if you're still holding on to the hurt after you've forgiven, take a second look at whether or not you've really forgiven the one who hurt you. See, this is the hope of forgiveness; there is nothing but pain in unforgiveness. And therein lies the choice.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future. And that's the third thing we have to think about in dealing with forgiveness. Number three, facing the future. Let go of the past, but face the future.
Reaching out to the future may make us fearful, but my friend, it has to be done. It must be done in order for forgiveness to be meaningful and for hope to be restored in your life. Reaching out gives you freedom to forgive. It shows the offending party that you're extending trust, that you're giving the relationship another chance. Let me come back to Robert Lightner's story. Forgiveness gave Martha Edwards an opportunity to be strengthened in her faith and to grow in her likeness to Christ.
You know, when Paul wrote to the Philippian Christians, he was not dealing with the issue of forgiveness. But he did relate to his readers how he viewed his own life as a believer. And what he said, I think, illustrates what we have just said about the past, the present, and the future. The apostle said he was forgetting the past, both as an educated Jew and as a persecutor of Christians. You can read about it in Philippians 3:4-7. And then, he affirmed what was true in the present--Christ Jesus was his Lord and he was found in Him, (vv. 8-10). And then thirdly, Paul said he was reaching out to the future. See, he had not yet attained, he was not yet perfect, but he was pressing on to whatever was ahead, (vv. 12-16).
And that same apostle reviewed the same three steps for the Corinthian believers in 2 Corinthians 5:11-21. Here too he wrote of what the past was, what he had in Christ Jesus, and what his responsibility would be in the future.
You see, there are three steps necessary for forgiving. One is you have to face the facts, acknowledge what happened, don't try to hide it. Number two, you have to release the past, get rid of it, walk away from it. And number three, you have to face the future. You have to forgive the person who did the worst possible thing in the world to you.
George Lott's unforgiving spirit led to his bitterness. And that bitterness led to murder--the murder of innocent people. But you know what? Martha Edwards was undoubtedly devastated by her loss and her hurt. Her husband John was dead. She alone was totally responsible for rearing those three young boys, and she struggled. She plunged into deep night of winter, but relief came to her. Because hope was alive. Keeping hope alive, friends, comes through forgiveness.
And if you have someone you need to forgive today, learn from this true story--the story of Martha Edwards, who learned to forgive the man who murdered her husband, because she faced up to the facts, she released the past, she walked arm in arm with the Lord Jesus into a hopeful future. You can do the same. And you can do it today.
By Woodrow Kroll
www.backtothebible.org
Copyright �1996-2001 The Good News Broadcasting Association, Inc.
All rights reserved.