Mary Vee Parr
November 13, 1934 - October 19, 1975
With the help of an angel, we found my birthfamily on Monday, January 25, 1999. The excitement mounted each day as we uncovered more and more information about them. I began to allow myself to wonder what it was going to be like to see my mother for the very first time. I imagined what it was going to be like to feel her arms around me for the first time.
On Saturday, January 30, 1999 my mother's obituary was found. She died when I was 15 years old.
I would never get to see her face or hear her voice. 39 years of wondering what she was like were crushed in a single moment.
The following day I was able to speak to my mother's sister thanks to the help of another angel friend. My aunt Dona shared many things with me about my mother. I now had hope that I would at least be able to get to know my mother through her family.
I traveled to Salt Lake City in March for the purpose of visiting my mother's grave for the first time and also to meet my father.
That same weekend I was able to also meet my mother's siblings as well as my brother and two sisters.
The first family member I met was my mom's aunt and her husband. As I drove to their house to meet them for the first time I was filled with apprehension and fear. "Will they like me?" "Will they be nice to me?"
As these questions and countless others began to race through my mind I turned on the radio. As the radio came on the chorus of the following song began to play. I couldn't help but think that perhaps it was my mom trying to tell me she was there with me. A sense of peace and calm came over me and I knew this visit was going to be wonderful.
ONE SWEET DAY
by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive
- CHORUS -
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
I was born on January 23, 1960. Two days later on January 25, my mother, Mary Vee Parr, made the ultimate sacrifice any mother can make. She signed the relinquishment papers for my adoption . . . She gave up her child.
As I get to know my family I am getting to know my mother through stories and pictures which everyone has so generously shared with me. My mother's siblings have shared with me stories from their childhood. My siblings have also shared their stories about our mom.
As I get to know her I am finding a sweet, loving woman who was kind to everyone she met. I am getting to know a woman who only wanted the best for me and loved me enough to let me go.
I often wondered, as most adoptees do, if my mother ever thought about me or if she had forgotten me. When I was reunited with my siblings I found out that she truly never did forget about me. She had been suffering with congestive heart failure and was having a heart attack. While my brother ran next door for help my mother told my sister that she had had a baby boy that she put up for adoption.
It really touched me when they told me that. It also let me know that my mother never forgot about me. She was thinking about me as she lay dying in my sister's arms. That has brought me a great deal of comfort to know that I was not forgotten.
Even though I never got to meet my mother I miss her. I also miss the relationship we might have now if she were still alive. I suppose there will always be a bit of sadness when I think about my mom and "what could have been."
I love you Mom.
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