Father John Aurelio
I was born in New York City.
I moved here, with my family, at age four.
We moved to Sicily for a year. When I returned, I attended school and minor Seminary here.
I received my Masters in Psychiatric Social Work.
I was ordained a priest in 1966.
You may have heard of my 'Story Sunday' Masses.
What makes you the way you are?
God gave to man the power of procreation.
In America, we like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists, but you are more formed and shaped by the people around you than by you, yourselves.
There are three parts to a personality.
The Pleasure Principle
A basic instinctive need. This stage predominates from birth to 1-1/2 to 2 years of age.
-Feed Me -- Please Me -- Make Me Happy!
"I want what I want and I want it now!"
There is no morality here, just pure instinct.
Anytime you violate a Pleasure Principle, you get an emotional reaction!
This reaction is very strong when we're young!
The Rules Commitee
Toilet Training is the very first time rules are imposed on a child.
The rules become internalized behavior!
"Don't touch the Color Television Knobs!"
If you violate the Rules Commitee, you can expect an emotional reaction!
Almost everything you do in life is following rules.
Men are much more vehement about following rules!
Kick the dog syndrome.
Reason
It is the ability to make right decisions.
We think, we judge, we weigh, we decide.
All too often,parents stifle children by not allowing them to make decisions!
You've got to allow children to make decisions, or else they will be unable to make decisions as an adult!
Reason has no emotions.
Psychological Scars
Anxiety
an irrational, unreasonable fear of an unknown object.
Anxiety ridden people operate on Murphy's Law.
Defense Mechanisms for Psychological Scars
Phobia- irrational, unreasonable fear of a known object.
aquaphobia -fear of water.
The cause of Anxiety is nervous and anxious parents!
Guilt
The feeling of being morally bad.
Neurotic Guilt: - people who are forever knocking themselves.
Defense Mechanisms for Guilt
Scruples: Worry and feeling guilty about one thing. With Catholics, the biggie is sex.
How do people become Guilty?
through parents who are determined that their child will not be spoiled!
Inferiority Complex
feelings of inadequacy.
It comes up anytime a person faces a challenge.
It starts when you are very young, and all decisions were taken away from you.
The only way to get above these Principles is through Reason and Christ.
The one person who loves you exactly the way you are is God!