Day 1 saw Nasser start to redeem his reputation as a useless tosser with a rare victory with the coin. The SCG is infamous for wearing down by the 4th and 5th days so deciding to bat was a formality, though the previous day's rain meant that first thing the ball would be moving laterally.

The peerless McGrath opened the bowling and was at once on the spot and proving hard to get away. Waugh interestingly opened with Lee at the other end.

Now I personally am not at all a fan of Lee, believing him to be massively over-rated on account of the speed gun showing him to be so fast. All the best world bowlers have relied on accuracy, bounce and seam movement rather than extreme pace. [Who would you rather have in your side, 95mph Devon Malcolm or 85mph Curtly Ambrose? Exactly.] However, the absurdly parochial Aussie media seem to all want Lee's babies given the constant eulogies paid to him by all. In addition is the perhaps rather more significant fact that his action is diabolical and every bit as illegal as Muralitharan. However, the word hypocrisy doesn't appear to exist in the Aussie sport media and so while Muralitharan is constantly attacked, the rest of the world are all being "unsporting" to make any comment on Lee [and the mighty Barmy army came in for some right royal stick for our constant bellows of no-ball. Pleasingly, they timed this to perfection ensuring renewed vigour to the calls just when we were all getting bored of it].

Equally, the Aussie media are unrelentingly harsh on all England players and particularly Caddick, who admittedly does have some serious off days, but when on song is as good as anyone. Perhaps the following series facts should be put to the Aussie hacks: Lee 13 wkts at 41; Caddick 20 at 34.

However, having said all that Lee proceeded to produce one of the finer opening spells I have seen, finding booming outswing at c. 95+mph pace. After a couple of fresh air shots Michael Vaughan was good enough to actually nick one - a feat that surely no one else could have achieved given the level of movement occurring. Luckily, Lee soon blew himself out giving a scratchy looking Butcher time to find his form and despite the loss of Trescothick, England began motoring along impressiely, helped by Gilchrist [though untouchable as a batsman, actually a rather poor keeper] dropping a regulation edge.

In fact, by the end of the day we were raising a beer (or 5) to that rarest of sights, an England century, as Butcher was batting beautifully. Some late wickets took a bit of sheen off but overall it was a good day for us.

Day 2 saw us relocate from the posh seats into the thick of the Barmy Army. The Barmy Army was formed on the South Africa tour in 1993/4 and first started to gain numbers on the Ashes tour the following year. It came about when some punters realised the two often unknown facts that you do not have to be rich or a member of the nobility to go and watch cricket and that cricket is played in some pretty damn cool destination in the world: Australia, the Carribean, New Zealand, South Africa, India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Zimbabwe (in no particular order). The loosely-tied Barmy Army (there is no per se "membership" - you simply roll up) has grown ever more popular with Oz being the favourite tour.

Indeed, I think it is fair to say that no other team in world sport can possibly have the level of away support that not only gets 20,000 fans out when 12,000 miles away, but frequently outnumbers the home fans and always out-sings them. The general atmosphere is far superior to our soccer "fans" and the songs are often much more witty - if barely less crude on occasion!

A day at the SCG could have been enjoyed by someone with no cricket interest at all as I joined in the Barmy Army properly, with a solid 7 hours of beer and singing. I have many favourite songs - some of which are perhaps not suitable for family publication but here are few of the less rude, though they are but a pale imitation in written form especially as all have choreographed actions as well:

1.) The simple "God Save YOUR Queen"

[Background info: The Aussies still voted to keep the Queen in a referendum a few years back despite all saying they dislike being ruled by our monarch]

God save YOUR gracious Queen
Long live YOUR noble Queen
God save YOUR Queen
Send her victorious
Happy and glorious
Long to reign over YOU
God save YOUR Queen

2.) Slightly more abusive: To the tune of "Yellow Submarine"

[quietly, by a small section of the crowd]
In the town, where I was born
There lived a man, who was a thief
And he told me, of his life
Stealing bread, and sh***ing sheep
So they put, him in the dock
And to a magistrate, he went to see
And they told him, you shall live
In the convict, colony

[Now entire 20,000 Army stand, point at Aussies and yell]
You all live in a convict colony,
A convict colony, a convict colony
[repeat]

3.) Mainly in-jokes but fun to sing "On the 12th Day of Christmas my Nasser send to me"

Aside from Army fun, Day 2 was an absolute ripper of a cricket day that saw some early England runs, some early England wickets (with Caddick exceptional in taking 3 as the bowler and catching the 4th) and then a tremendous Aussie fightback led by the hugely-under-pressure Waugh. I have already made my feelings clear about Waugh as a person, but as a cricketer under pressure, surely there has never been an equal. Most of his many centuries have come when the side is in trouble and today he did not disappoint his adoring Sydney fans reaching the mark with a 4 from the last ball of the day - drama indeed.

I had originally only planned to go to one day of the cricket but this was a rare competitive match and the sun was shining and the beer fairly cheap so I simply had to go to days 3, 4 and 5. I shall not bore you with more detailed cricket reports suffice to say that Vaughan ascended to deity status with another magnificent huge century and whilst smashing Stuart (has anyone ever looked more like a convict?) MacGill for four 4's in an over brought the brilliant cry from the Barmy Army of "Are you Salisbury in disguise?". England made a massive second innings total and by day 5 were in a great position to actually win a Test match against Australia in Australia - something no other team has managed recently and in fact the last team to win away in Oz was the previous England tour 4 years ago. Obviously, the Aussie media were just being forgetful when they headlined with "Are England the worst team ever to come to Australia" and are not at all biased.

Day 5 saw the wonderful sight of England fans massively outnumbering the Sheilas and Bruces and the team did not disppoint - wrapping the match up quickly and clinically such that many fans missed most of it in the 90 min queue to get in [the SCG, despite being half the size of the MCG has the worst logistics of any stadium I've been to. It normally takes a good 20 - 30 min just to get out at the end of the day's play]

It being 2 o'clock there was no alternative but to follow the Barmy Army back to their favourite watering holes and drink the night away. The one good thing about being an England fan is that victories are sufficiently rare to merit proper celebration!

Click back to go back to where you were, or click here to go back to the top of the first Oz page.