English Translation of
Culture Crash Comics Vol. 1 Issue No. 8
By Theresa Dy Lising
Translator’s note:
[ ] –> Culture
notes/Translations
*** –> Page
breaks/Separators
Editorial Page:
Joanne: No more Solstice
Butterfly? That’s what you think….
Cat’s Trail
Story and Art by: E.A. Damaso
Episode 8: Stray Bullet
HAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAA!!!
Spot: Now, live in SHAME!!!
Airee: Stop.
Please… stop…
***
Airee: No…
Airee: I screwed up… I screwed up AGAIN!!!
Airee: Now even Polaris and Lame-o got involved.
Airee: They were right… I AM too careless!
Airee: Maybe I’m not cut out to be one of us*…
Airee: I’m useless!!!
Airee: AAAAAHAAHH!!!
Take this off!!!
Airee: HGK! UKK! UMPH!!!
*: The ‘us’ refers to the Thieves’ Guild – an
association of thieves
***
AAAAHHH!
Poppy: Hmm?!
Poppy: Hurry up!
Soldier 1: Heavy…
Soldier 2: Yes, sir!!!
Soldier 3: Pull it from your side…
Soldier 4: Just a sec. It’s jabbing my gut…
Soldier 5: Wow!
I found a coin! Lucky!
Poppy: That was Airee’s scream!
Poppy: Seems like something strange’s going on! I have bad feeling…
Airee: Please… …I don’t want this bell…
Airee: I’m sorry.
Airee: Please lift this curse.
Spot: Hmp!
Spot: No.
Spot: You’re not sorry enough.
Spot: You’re not yet ready to change. You know that.
***
Spot: You’re a kleptomaniac, that’s why you can’t
resist stealing, right?
Spot: Poor child…
Spot: But I am not entirely cruel…
Spot: …I’ll give you hope…
Spot: Come…
Spot: …and I’ll explain!!!
Spot: But my conditions will not be easy.
Airee: Hgk!
Airee: I-I’ll do anything t-to lift this curse.
Spot: Splendid!!!
***
Spot: Listen well…
Spot: CHILD!!!
Airee: Hgkk!
CHF
Spot: You just have to prove your mettle.
Spot: By serving me.
Airee: WHAT?!?
Spot: It’s simple, really…
Spot: You tried to steal eight golden spheres earlier…
Spot: …Which is why you’ll have to do my bidding eight
times!
HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA!
***
Airee: Your bidding?
Spot: Let me explain…
Spot: But first, I want to make it clear that you will
not be able to rid yourself of that bell by any means.
Spot: A powerful, ancient spell binds you to that
bell.
Spot: And I am the only one who could remove it.
Airee: No…
Airee: …p-possible…
Airee: …way?
HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHA!
HAHAHA!
Spot:
Ingenious, am I not?
Spot: You surely wouldn’t be able to counter it!
Airee: No other way?
Spot: None.
Airee: Not even if I use tools?
Spot: Correct.
Airee: Not even with a bomb?
Spot: Yes.
Airee: Not even with magic?
Spot: Not even.
***
Soldier: Sir, we can pass now.
Poppy: Ready your weapons!
Poppy: We’ll be in for a fight.
Soldiers: Yes, sir!
Spot: Well! I
see that Sheriff is a lot smarter than I thought. It seems like our conversation will be cut short.
CHF CHF CHF CHF CHF CHF CHF
Spot: Your ‘friends’ are here. I’ll talk to you some other time about the
other details.
Spot: The important thing you must know is that you
will have to serve me eight times. Only
then will I lift the curse. Is that
clear?
Spot: Eight times!
Spot: Remember that!
Soldier 1: Freeze!!!
Soldier 2: You’re all under arrest!!!
***
[2-page spread]
Soldier 1: He-he!
We won’t have a problem with these two, sir. They’re no longer moving.
Soldier 1: Wait a minute… I know this one!
Poppy: Huh!?!
Soldier 2: Man!
I need to take a leak and there’s no toilet in this place…
Poppy: Polaris!
Poppy: But who’s the other one? He looks familiar!…
Poppy: He was our informant!
Butler: I tell you where they went…
Butler: …but I’d like to hitch a ride with you. Is that okay?
Poppy: I don’t think I like the way things are going on
around here!!!
Poppy: You were the one who used magic earlier,
right?!?
***
Poppy: You almost killed me!
Poppy: Grrr… why don’t I just fill you with holes
right now?!
Spot: Heh!
Quite a temper…
Spot: Fill me with holes, ei?
SHHHH
Spot: Let me oblige you, then!
Poppy: What?!?
CLK!
BKAM!!!
Soldier 1: Sheriff!!!
Soldier 2: Sir!!!
Soldier 3: Take it easy!
Poppy: Leggo!!!
He pulled the trigger, not me!
Spot: Don’t worry…
Spot: You’re too slow to harm me!
Poppy: I-it can’t be…
***
Spot: Is this what you’re looking for?
Airee: E-he-heh!
Hello, Sheriff!
Poppy: Airee Collette!!!
Poppy: Hmp!
All of you are coming to the station!!!
Including you! Whoever you are…
Poppy: You’re good… I’ll say that much…
Poppy: …But I won’t let you fool me twice!
Spot: Spot!
Spot: My name is Spot!
Spot: And Airee…
***
Spot: …is mine…
VMMMMM
Spot: …for the time being!
VWIP!
Airee: !
Airee: Eep.
SHMMMM
Poppy: Wait!!!
Poppy: Son of a…!
We’ve been working our asses off to catch that criminal!
Poppy: You’re now on my list, SPOT!!!
Poppy: Arrest them!!!
Soldiers: Yes, sir!
Spot: Fool.
SSHHHAAAAAAAAA
***
Spot: Suffer the consequences!!!
FWIP!
Soldier 1: S-sir…
Soldier 2: What the…!
Soldier 3: M-my gun!!!
FWAP!
Poppy: You’ve left me no choice but to use force!!!
B-KOOM! KA-CHAK! BKOOM!
SPAK! SPRAK!
Spot: You can’t hit me with that!
Poppy: Ha?!
Poppy: He’s even taking Polaris and the boy!
Poppy: Stop!
VWIP! VWIP!
Spot: It doesn’t seem fair for me to hand these two
over to you just like that.
WOP!
Spot: That would’ve been too easy.
Poppy: Hkkk!
***
Poppy: You’re sure stubborn…
Poppy: HYAAAAHHH!!!
Spot: Tsk…tsk…
Spot: Such impetuousness…
Spot: So you’re in a hurry, huh?
HWEEEEE
Spot: Good-bye, Sheriff Poppy…
Poppy: DA-DAMAHAYHAY?
Damahayhay: Ehe!
Sheriff! Nice to see you
again! Were my eyes playing tricks on
me, Sheriff, or did you just pop out of the ashtray?
Ralf: Let’s take this, quick, while no one’s looking.
Ninja ball: Wow! Now we have cigarettes!
Karin: Next Episode: Thieves’ Guild!!!
To be continued…
Culture Crash Comics Extra
Kubori Kikiam
“Tasty but Spicy”
Original Concept: Alfredo
Story: Taga-Kanal
Art: Kikiam and People – Taga-Kanal
Art: Squidball and Fishball – Taga-Ilog
Colors: Taga-Ilog
Box: Inside Bihirra Mall.
Manny: You ****!
Don’t get caught in the web! You ********, fight!
Benjo: Well?
Looks like you lost again, Manny.
Manny: *******!
Nononono NOOOO! AAAARGH!!!
Manny: I ******* lost!
Benjo: I told you spiders from electric lines are big
but weak. Hey, Don! Join us, wilya!
Don: You ***** play with it, then you eat it! You guys should be ashamed of yourselves!
[Translator’s Note: Catching spiders and making them
engage in combat on a field (otherwise known as a barbecue stick) has been the
pastime of children in the Philippines for a long time. They are usually kept in used matchboxes
when not fighting.]
***
Manny: It tastes fine anyway. *CHEW*!
Just need to be careful with the legs.
Sometimes they could be tough or hairy.
Don: You are a ***** pig, Manny!
Benjo: I’m not
gonna eat you. You’re too good for
that.
Manny: You want me to finish this?
Don: Iiigh!
Manny: Don, give it a try. It takes just like chicken,
just a little spicier!
Don: ****** Leave off!
TWP
Benjo: Are you scared of spiders, Don?
Don: I’m scared of you guys because you’ll eat
anything!
TWP
Manny: You’re so finicky!
Don: How ‘bout I **** stab you right now!
Manny: Dodon’s scared of spiders!
Don: *** *****!
FWP TFP
Manny: Let’s go catch some more spiders later, ok,
Benjo?
Benjo: Sure. Wanna
come along, Don?
Manny: Nah, he’s scared.
TFP
***
Box: Rational Bookstore: Ground floor, Bihira Mall.
Ralf: Listen up!!!
Because of my extensive research on the Internet and here at Rational
Bookstore… I have found a way to defeat our enemies!
Ralf: Remember, “If you know the enemy and know
yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.”*
Ralf: “If you know yourself but not the enemy, for
every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat.”*
Ralf: “If you know neither the enemy nor yourself…”*
Ralf: “…You will succumb in every battle.”*
CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
OOOOOOOOHHHHHH
Voice 1: Sir Ralf’s amazing!
Voice 2: What’s ‘succumb’?
Ralf: ‘Tis a glorious day! We shall finally defeat the vile kikiams! For we possess something which they do
not!!!
Ralf: …Military intelligence…
SHWFFF
Ralf: …and the GCR-100!!!
*: From Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”
***
Benjo: Are there still spiders in here?
Manny: Before there was this REALLY big one! Mall spider! We’ll really need this slingshot.
Benjo: Hey, Don.
I thought you didn’t like spiders?
Don: *****! I’m just doing this for you guys!
BOING
Manny: Just look at the ceiling. They’re usually up there.
Voice: Sgt. Ralf, you were right. They WERE headed here.
Ralf: Yes, this is where they get rations. That is our primary basis for setting up the
ambush here.
Ralf: Our secondary basis is because this is “deadly
ground – where those who do battle with full force survive, and those who do
not perish!”*
Tali-ya: *********************
*: From Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”
***
Toma-hok: Iiirghh!!
WHEEEEEEEO
GRC-100: !!!
Don: Have any girls come…
Don: …in…
Don: …yet!?!
***
Don: S-s-s-s-s-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-
BRA-KRAGH!
Don: Hff, thh!
Manny: What the ****** was that?
Benjo: Fishballs?
Fishballs: !?!
Ralf: Not Fishballs!
Your DEATH!!!
Benjo: What kind of a fishball is that?!
Don: You almost crushed me, you *****!
Manny: You’re dead!
***
Tali-ya: Sargeant, why isn’t the GCR moving–
Tali-ya: Urmph!
Ralf: Ssshh! Patience!
Don: Benjo, don’t go near it!
Benjo: Just a sec…
Poink! Poink! Poink!
Benjo: Iiirgdh!
PRAGD!
Benjo: It’s dead!
Manny: Benjo, is that a spider I smell?
Don: **** Ralf’s behind all this!
Ralf: *****!
Fishballs, prepare to do battle!
Ralf: Go!
Go! Go! Go!?
GRRRRRRRRRRR….
Ralf: ****!
SHRA AHH!!!
Ralf: Retreat!
Ralf: Not the toilet!
Ralf: Not the toilet!
Ralf: Not the…
KTONK!
Don: **** you, Ralf!
Come out!
Benjo: That was great, Don! And I thought you hated spiders.
Manny: It’s big.
Should be good.
The end, we hope…
One Day, Isang Diwa
Story by J.L. Palabay
Art by E.A. Damaso
Chapter 8: The Shy Guy and the Pursuer
Diwa: Who are you?!
Diwa: Show yourself!!!
Voice: …Diwa…
***
Voice: Do you know that a lot of people are looking
for you back in our world?
Voice: You belong to us, Diwa. It is a law created from time immemorial.
Voice: We don’t know how you’ve been kept secret for
so long…
Voice: Do your parents have power and influence?
Diwa: This guy’s got WAY too many lines…
Diwa: Ahem!
Mr. Servant of Darkness, would you mind showing yourself? It’s kinda hard talking to someone I
couldn’t see.
Voice: Don’t interrupt me! I’m building up the suspense!
Voice: Anyway, as I was saying… uhh… where was I?
Diwa: Lots of people searching, long kept secret,
influence of parents.
Voice: Ahh, yes, thank you.
Diwa: Don’t mention it…
WHHSST
Man: I am Kumalarong!!!
Kumalarong: A captain of darkness. The slayer of countless noble beings. I will capture you and take you to our
ruler!
***
SLAP!!
Diwa: Eek!
Kumalarong: Ouch.
Diwa: You surprised me. He-he-he!
Diwa: …Ehe?…
Hiss! Hiss!
HWEEEEEEE
Kumalarong: Y-You dare mock me!?!
Diwa: A beast that knows English? I’m impressed!
[Translator’s note: ‘Lamang-lupa’ literally means
‘filling of the earth’ or ‘from the earth’.
It is used to refer to creatures like fairies, elves, dwarves, and other
small, mythical creatures in Philippine folklore. In this case, beast seems to be the best equivalent.]
SHEOOM
Diwa: HMPH!
***
FZZK
Diwa: Huh?!
VRAAAP
Diwa: Hngk…
***
VWOSH!
KRK
Diwa: Hgkk!
Kumalarong: Heh!
Easy…
HWEEEEEE
***
Kumalarong: No.
Diwa: This is from me to you!!!
VOOOOSH!
***
AAAAAAHH
***
FSSSSHHHH
Diwa: Easy.
Diwa: Thank you.
Thank you.
Diwa: Thank you.
DIWA!!! DIWA!!! DIWA!!! DIWA!!! DIWA!!! DIWA!!!
***
***
Jun: Uhh…Clarissa?
It’s Jun. I’m just got home..
Jun: H-ha?
Okay…
Jun: Ah…
Jun: …Not really…
Jun: Blah-blah…
Jun: Blah! Blah! Blah!
Clarissa: Thanks for calling, Jun. Call me anytime you’re free, okay?
Clarissa: Thanks again.
Jun: She did say ‘anytime’, right?
Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump!
SHWIP!
Jun: Uh, wait a minute. I still have to wash the dishes.
***
Jun: ♪♪
Jun: ♫♪
Jun: ♪♫♪
FWOOOOSH
CHAK!
***
BIP! BIP! BIP! BIP! BIP! BIP! BIP!
RRING! RRING!
CHAK!
Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump!
Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump!
Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump! Ba-bump!
***
Jun: “Hello?
Good evening. May I speak to
Clarissa?”… “Hello?”… “Good evening…”
Clk!
BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP
RRING! RRING!
RRING!
Clk!
Voice: Hello.
Good evening.
***
Jun: He…
Pant!
Jun: He… huu… he…
Pant!
Voice: PERVERT!!
CLACK!
Jun: …
RRING!
RRING! RRING! RRING!
Voice: Hello.
Good evening?
To be continued….
PASIG – Chapter 8: Self
Story and Art by Taga-Ilog
Mina: Where am I?
KLING KLING
Reply: Wherever.
Mina: Am I dead?
KLING KLING
Reply: Only you can say…
Mina: It-it’s cold…
***
Reply: Wear these.
KLING KLING
Mina: Thanks.
Reply: What is symbolized by that uniform that you would
abandon both your family and friends for it?
Mina: I don’t understand… who are you?
Reply: Whoever.
KLING
Mina: N-no!
Charen?!
Charen: You’re really good for nothing, Mina… I don’t
know why you even chose to be a bounty hunter…
Mina: I-I want to become strong!
Bear: Maybe…
KLING KLING
***
Mina: !!!
Bear: …But in your quest to be strong, you managed to
step on people’s toes without even realizing it.
Lando: I’ve suffered in jail for three months because
of you.
Mina: L-Lando?
I’m sorry! I didn’t know…
Trisha: You didn’t know because you didn’t
care!!! You’re a good for nothing
friend, and you’re also a good for nothing sister! You left us when you were just sixteen to pursue your dreams…
KLING KLING
Trisha: You didn’t care about what would happen to us!
***
Mina: T-Trisha.
Bear: The little girl with her, the one who bears the
same name as you. Do you realize the
grief you’ve dealt her at this early age?
KLING
SNF
Mina 2: Mina, why’d you send Dante away?
Mina: N-no! I
didn’t want him to leave… he just didn’t want us to get hurt, that’s why he
chose to leave.
Mina: Please understand, little sister…
KLING KLING
***
Mina 2: Mina…
Mina 2: …I wish you never came back.
KLING KLING
Mina: Why?
KLING
Mina: Why is this happening to me?!!
Mina: WHY?
***
Renno: Leave, Charen… a mercenary doesn’t belong in
this place.
Renno: We won’t cooperate with the likes of you…
Isiah: That’s enough, Renno.
Isiah: I’ll listen, Charen… but be sure that you’re
not just wasting my time.
Charen: I know where to find Dante.
***
Isiah: Heh… good.
You managed to catch my attention.
Charen: I heard of how Dante managed to mop the floor
with you last week, so I’m sure that you’re just itching for a rematch.
Renno: Be careful with what you say, Steel Mercenary…
Charen: Hahahaha, forgive me… but give my offer
careful consideration… this is your
chance to get even.
Isiah: Hmmm… looks like we’ll get along just
fine. Hehehe…
***
Mina: My fault…
Mina: Everything is my fault…
Mina: A wrong decision…
PLIP
Bear: There are no right or wrong decisions in life,
Mina… merely choices that have to be made…
Mina: The more important thing…
KLING
Mina: …Is how you face the consequences of your chosen
path…
***
Dante: And you have chosen yours.
Dante: That’s why whatever happens, you must stand by
your decision…
Dante: But I hope you remember, Mina, whatever
happens…
Dante: …You are never alone.
Mina: Th-thank you.
***
Mina: Thank you so much.
***
Mina: Uhhnnn…
KLING KLING
TOK TOK TOK TOK TOK TOK
KLING
Voice: Mariko!
Mariko!
Girl: Good grief!
The door downstairs is busted again… I though Miguel fixed it al—
KLING KLING
Mina: …
Girl: —ready?
***
Girl: MARIKO!!!
Mariko: I’m coming!
I’m coming! What the heck is
your…
Mariko: …problem?
Mina: …
Girl: I’m Iyannah!
Iyannah: And she’s Mariko!
Mariko: Oh… I see you’re already awake…
Mariko: Thank goodness your okay, Mina.
To be continued….
Taga-Ilog on HOW WE DRAW 8
[2 page spread]
Hmmm…. Okay! Now that we know how to panel, draw, and
write the story, it’s time to write our comics! Let’s now look at some technical aspects we’ll be dealing with in
creating an “Indie.”
What’s
An “Indie”?
“Indies” or “Independent comics” are self-published comics by an
individual or group. It usually takes
on an “anthology format” – a group of stories by different authors and
illustrators – found in a single “book.”
There are others, however, that have only one story and are usually
“one-shots”. Because these comics are
“self-published,” we aren’t likely to find these being sold at just any street
corner or magazine/bookstores primarily because there are only a limited number
of copies available.
Just like mangas, Indie comics
are usually in black and white format, and are not limited to just one
genre. There are Indies that have
Sandman-type stories while there are those that tell of super heroes… while
others could be called nothing less than experimental.
In any case, creating an Indies
comic is a great start for those who are planning to go into the comic industry
someday.
Creating
Your Own Indie:
Okay. Now that you have your concept, drawing, and story, it’s now time
to show the world your comics! But
before anything else, there are some things that must be taken cared of…
I. Copyright Your Stuff:
Copyrighting
is the best way of ensuring that other people will not take advantage of your
hard work. If someone DID try to do so,
you would have papers proving that you were the first person to use the work
and would be able to file charges against the offending party.
A. Self Mail:
A
way of proving that a certain comic was indeed created during the time frame
you said it was is by sending it through the mail. Just make sure that you put YOUR OWN ADDRESS on the recipient
section of the envelope. When you
receive the letter, you will notice the postal date marked on the
envelope. DO NOT OPEN THE
ENVELOPE. The postal date stamped by
the post office would serve as the official date of creation of your comics. The envelope should only be opened if the
question of the legality of your work is ever brought up. [Translator’s Note:
And this should only be done in the presence of an attorney or at court, if
things get that far out of hand.]
B. Philippine Copyright Office:
You
could also have your work copyrighted at the Intellectual Property Office
[formerly the Bureau of Patents, Trademarks, and Technology Transfer or BPTTT]
or at the Copyright Section of the National Library in Manila.
II. Preparing For Publishing:
Now
that you no longer have a problem with copyright infringement, it’s time to
prepare for the publication of your comics.
Since actual publication is expensive, we could use a photocopier as a
more affordable means of creating a limited number of comics. But before we photocopy our comics, we must
first attend to the “signatures” of each of the pages we’ll be using.
A. Signatures:
If
we look closely, we’ll notice that comics are made up of folded sheets of paper
so that its pages will be in their proper order. The unfolded sheets of paper on which are printed the
back-to-back pages of the comics are called “signatures.” The pages on these are not in their proper
order, but when folded and bound, these could be properly read. Here is an example of the grouping of
signatures:
We
must remember that the signature layout will vary according to the number of
pages of a comic. This example is only
applicable for a 24-page comic.
B. Finalizing the “Master Copy”:
When
the pages have been arranged to form the proper signatures, this will serve as
the “Master Copy.” This is what is
given to the copier to be photocopied in bulk.
The master copy must be neat and clean because all of the comics will be
created from this. Use correction fluid
to erase dirt and black ink to restore lost lines created by generation
loss. There are some people who create
Indies that already have text, word balloons, and sound effects to preserve the
neatness of the original comic art.
C. Photocopying and Pricing:
When
all of the signatures are in place, it is time to have it photocopied. You don’t necessarily have to have hundreds
of copies of your comics because you’d end up spending way too much. If you plan to make more than 50 copies of
your comics, it would be better to have it risographed so it would be cheaper
(the minimum number of copies is usually around 300pcs.). The only problem with the risograph is that
it isn’t as nice as photocopies.
We
could start with 10 to 20 copies using a photocopier. For a 24-page comic, it would cost about Php15 to make a single
copy (Php150 for 10 copies). At this
much, we could sell our comics for about Php25 to Php30. Just be careful not to over-price your Indies
(Php70++) because people might be more reluctant to buy it.
III. Spreading the Word:
Now
that we have a masterpiece that we could sell, all we need is a pushover… err,
people who could be convinced to purchase our work. A good way of doing this is to sell it at a school fair or at
special events (like an upcoming one this year… hint! Hint!). It would also be
a good idea for you to contact a comic book storeowner and ask them if they’re
willing to sell your work.
You
could also promote your work online by creating a website or by joining message
boards that deal with Indie creators.
The creation of Indies best
shows your love for creating comics. It
is a possibility that only a few people would purchase your comics, or you’d be
at a loss during your first attempt.
Nonetheless, the important thing is that, whatever happens, you were
happy with what you’ve created, and you were able to share it with those who
were able to read your work.
[Caption,
left page]
Many independent comic book
writers and artists have banded together to release their own self-published
comics under a single group name. An
example would be the ones made by the group “Point Zero Comics.” (Yup! I’m one of them!)
Fast
Fact:
Kubori Kikiam’s site has
moved. Thanks to those who patronized
the old site (yes, you three) and we promise that the new site will be more…
more… uhm… uh, just visit the new one by typing into your Internet browser:
http://www.kuborikikiam.com OR
http://www.kuborikikiam.cjb.net
Guide to Photocopying Your
Comics:
Our original comic art is usually
larger than the actual comic we plan to release. This is done so that when the size in reduced, it appears like
more detail has been added to the final picture. In photocopying, it would be better to use “powder” than “liquid”
because it produces a better black (it’s just a bit more expensive). Remember that when you make a photocopy of a
photocopy, there will be a “generation loss” wherein the copy of the copy is
not as nice as the original. We must
also take into account the quality of copies form different photocopy service
centers. No two photocopiers have the
same quality output, so the one with the best reproduction should be chosen.
Taga-Ilog: Up until now, I still have no idea why it
costs more to have something reduced than photocopying it in its original
size. Hmmm….
Copy girl: You can’t have something with too much
black photocopied here. You’ll use up
our toner!
Taga-Ilog: Ummm… ahh, ehh… y’see…
Things to remember:
1.
It would be better if we
photocopy black and white, inked artworks.
2.
If you want your work to
have tonal value, rely on cross-hatching and stipling techniques in
inking. This is the best way to ensure
that the photocopier would pick up your tones.
You could also use graphics tone, but these are expensive and hard to
find.
3.
Avoid colored, ink
washed, or pencilled artwork because the results of these are unpredictable
when photocopied (but usually dark).
4.
Fix all typographical
errors and clean the master copy before mass production.
5.
Make sure that all the
signatures are in their proper orders before stapling them together.
Taga-Ilog: Waahhh! Why isn’t anyone buying my comics?!!
Comic Book Artist Spotlight: Lyndon Gregoio
[certain sections only,
numbers in parenthesis indicate response number]
James (2): How did it become Lyndon?
Lyndon (6): I’ve used the paper for revenge. In an article, where I was put into a
headlock by my cellphone technician, I filed reports, but more than that, I
printed his full name, his address, and the whole story. The cops asked me, “You’re a writer? For what paper?” I said, “The Philippine Star.”
He replied, “good thing you didn’t write it.” I just smiled.
Lyndon (9) [paragraph 2]: Then you have the parents
saying, “There’s no money in that…”
Sure, sure, I said. But in my
mind, I said, “I’ll show you!” I had to
professionalize, make money. I’d do it
for free, you know, but I had to prove myself.
When I got to college, I had no time.
I realized I wasn’t growing. I
promised myself [that] after graduation, I’d draw no matter what. Out of desperation, I applied to
newspapers. Just for the sake of being
able to draw. I was rejected by the
Inquirer. I applied to the Philippine
Star in June 1998, and I got in! Then
people started clamoring for a compilation, so I did that!
James (5): Who’s your favorite character?
Lyndon (10): My favorite character is Jimmy. Though I’m basing my life story on
Glen. When I get abused [taken
advantage of, not in the sexual sense], Glen gets abused. But all of them. There’s a certain perverseness to Brian, Jimmy’s a little
clueless, Glen is the shy one, Alan is a trying-hard wannabe, Harry’s a jerk…
Lyndon (11): Beerkada, because posses go out for
beer. But I started downplaying it when
kids started writing to me. Initially,
I wanted it to be more alternative, but
commercial-wise, it wouldn’t be a hit.
After the posse graduates, I’m thinking of changing it to “Workada” or
something like that.
Lyndon (12): Yeah.
Theoretically, this is their last year. They’re going to graduate. Besides, this is based on my experiences and
I’m growing up! Just like Doonsbury and
Gasoline Alley. Boopsy said yes to
Glen, after one month, they split up.
Pebbles gets pregnant.
James (7): You don’t have anything against Pebbles?
Jan (5): It’s therapy, right?
Elmer (2): Have you ever found yourself in the
lingerie section?
Lyndon (18): Right now, I follow the X-men books, but
only [thru] the bookstores. (Laughter)
Yeah, you know how it is! [Acts like there is someone beside him] “Are you
gonna open that? It’s okay, I won’t
tell! I’m gonna read it too, anyway!
(Laughter)
Jan (6): So that you won’t feel guilty, right? “I didn’t open it! It was already open!”
Lyndon (19): Yeah.
Then it comes to the point where there are no open copies. Here goes nothing!
Lyndon (21): Well, I’m obliged to improve. You’re always improving, even when you’ve
already made a name for yourself.
Taga-Ilog (3): Do you ever run out of jokes? What if you get writer’s block?
Lyndon (22): Sometimes, but I already have a
stockpile. Back-up files for such an
event.
Taga-Ilog (4): So every now and then, you have a
notebook with you for times when you “think of something”?
Lyndon (23): I bring a Palm Pilot with me in case I’m
on a jeepney and something happens or hits me.
Lyndon (24): No, I’ve already started. It’s a band I wear, a reminder of how cruel
women could be, how evil they are!
Leave it on! Not to worry, I’ll dedicate the book to my next girlfriend. “Hi, you want me to dedicate my next book to
you?”
Lyndon (25): There’s a kid who sent me an SMS. She liked telling her family about Beerkada,
but she had to avoid the jokes that were a little perverted. It struck me: I made a little girl unhappy.
Now she can’t relate with her parents because I’m perverted? I had to clean up my act.
James (14): Oh we can relate. It’s very difficult to weight that issue
down. We’re trying to balance it. Just don’t totally censor the items that are
essential to the story. It’s my
thinking that one shouldn’t avoid the subject, otherwise people would never
know what’s wrong. We try to keep it
moral, though.
Lyndon (26): Well, I always like to tackle the cutting
edge. To push the story, I mean I
tackled teenage pregnancy, but in a bad way with the woman. She’s the one chasing after the guy. It’s something you can’t avoid. It happens!
It’s not going to go away!
People deal with it! Little kids
should know it. Your kid sister; she
should know it so she’d know it’s wrong.
James (15): When you hide it too well, they wouldn’t
know what’s wrong with it. In our case,
with violence, we show the effects of committing the act. When you beat someone up, someone gets hurt
and all hell breaks loose. Not like,
you beat someone up, hahaha, next issue.
It’s like desensitizing the kids to violence. The kids might think that hitting someone isn’t bad because it’s
funny. It also depends mostly on how
the parents bring up the kids. They
always have time to criticize and blame other media, but have they themselves
given proper time and attention to their kids?
Have they ever looked on their own shortcomings? But as much as possible, we avoid getting
into such issues. What can you say about
Beerkada?
The Ultimate CCCom
Toy Review Special
Disclaimer: Toys shown here are not to scale. The opinions expressed here are solely those
of the authors and not that of the toys shown here.
Aki: Lifeforms!
I can’t believe there is still life in this place!
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within – AKI ROSS (under license
by Bandai America Inc. ©2000 Square Pictures, Inc.) CCCom rating: Since the
only movable parts of this figure are its arms, we’ll give it three
sweatdrops. Originally priced at
Php549.75, now it only costs a little over Php100. This action figure is actually worse than the movie. Imagine that.
Aki: According to my Saiyan Meter™, and my neon wrist
thing-a-majig™, they are close to where I’m standing… tsk… these are times when
I wish my neck has a point of articulation…
Belldandy: Hey!
Hello! How are you?
AH! MY GODDESS figures by Hobby Base Yellow Submarine:
maybe we’ll review them next time.
They’re just extras for now.
Scuba: Aha!
You’re done for, Aki Ross! You
dared to invade my territory!!!
Aki: Just who are you?
BEASTWARS TRANSFORMERS: SCUBA by TAKARA. CCCom rating: E for you are an engot [dummy]
if you can’t make this transform. Has
undoubtedly more moving parts than Aki Ross and changes into a squid when transformed. Has a Cybertron hologram sticker on its
butt. No wonder it never shows up on
the TV series. Priced at Php100 (and it
seems to be sold at further discounted prices).
Scuba: You don’t recognize me?!! I am Scuba!
The cruelest Transformer on the face of this Earth! I’ll give you a taste of my power!!!
Scuba: I will show you 120% of my power! Transform!!!
NYAHAHA!!!
SHAWOO!!
Scuba: Nyayayaya!!!
Tremble with fear! Take
this! And this! And… and… ummm…
KZZAT! KZZAT!
***
Scuba: ♪ I want to break free…
I-want-to-break-fre♪-e-
Saruman: You fight well, Aki. Looks like you’re ready for my casa
[brothel]… er, harem… a, er, I mean, tournament…
The Lords of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings –
SARUMAN™ & ©2001 Burger King Corporation.
All rights reserved. The Saul
Zaentz Company d/b/a Tolkien Enterprises under license to New Line Productions,
Inc. All rights reserved. CCCom rating: PN for pwede na [it’s
okay]. At Php75, you already have a
somewhat decent replica of your favorite LotR character, plus you also get
something to eat from Burger King.
Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait until December to buy it. Disclaimer:
This is not a saint. Do not
place on an altar.
Aki: Wait a minute, aren’t you that “Dirty Old
Saruman”? You’re jealous of my movable
arms, aren’t you?
Box: Arriving at Saruman’s casa, er, coliseum…
Aki: Umm… Saruman, I just want to ask you, why are
holding a Zagu™? [flavored drink with tapioca pearl balls]
Saruman: Tse!
This is the almighty Seeing Stone of Numenor!
Aki: Hey!
Don’t swear!
Sign: Live shows nightly! [Good grief.]
Coliseum: Built by the Romans. No copyright. Too expensive, so we didn’t buy it. Pixelated pics c/o the Internet.
Alrights Preserved.
Saruman: To change the topic, here at Saruman’s
Sizzling Squid and Steakhouse™… we also have videoke and live show tournaments
during happy hour, just like our game at the moment…
Saruman: Spiderman, sing, sing for me baby!
Spiderman:#♪WhenIfellinlovewithyouIthoughtyourlovewastruebutbeforelongyourtruecolorsshowedthroughyoulovetolookdownonmebutspendallofmymoney#♪
You’re like a SPHIIIIINX…
Spiderman (Movie Version) by Toy Biz™ & ©2002
Marvel Enterprises Inc. All rights
reserved. CCCom rating: MG – mabaho ang
goma [the rubber stinks]. Really, it
stiiinx. Let it air out first before
playing with it. The box boasts of 30
points of articulation (actually, 32), movie compliant costume (with scales),
and larger, more powerful (ahahay!) muscles.
The Spidey figure looks sturdy enough to ensure years of posing action
without wearing the joints (unless you play with it 24-7). Costs a little over Php300. Disclaimer: Spiderman does not rap like that
in real life.
Saruman: Grrr!
Out of tune! Feed to the
SPHIIINX*!
GRROWWWR!!
Spiderman: S2pid! [stupid]
*: We know, we know, it’s not a Sphiiinx.
BEASTWARS TRANSFORMERS: LIOCONVOY Special Gold Edition
by TAKARA. CCCom rating: MB – mabangis
and buhok [wild hair]. Has rotating
lion mane action (looks like a sun).
Has four rocket launchers that don’t fire straight. It looks better as a lion, so we didn’t
bother transforming it. Press the
forehead to open the jaws. Left part of
the chest opens to reveal its “missing” Cybertron hologram sticker. At least it’s no longer on the butt. Php599 when Memer bought it; current price
Php349.
Spiderman: Thanks to my 32 points of articulation…
Spiderman: I can rap while fighting this lion!
Spiderman: My spider sense is tingaling [out of
whack]! What the…?!?
POOM!
POOM! POOM! POOM!
POOM! POOM!
***
RVR-39: I am the former que—I mean, king of songs in
this place! Out of the way!
Spiderman: Hmmm… should I tell him about the falling
robots? Mmm… nah.
RVR-39: You would abandon me for that spider?! How could you Saruman!
RVR-39: I have more points of articulation… and I have
a Sega Dreamcast on my back!
Box: Actually, Sega already released a statement
saying that it will now become a 3rd party game developer. The production of the Dreamcast has already
been put to a halt. In other words,
it’s on its way out… ergo, this toy too.
Cybertroopers Virtual-on “Oratorio Tangram” RVR-39
APHARMD B by KAIYODO © Sega Corporation 1998. CCCom Rating: Lots of
sweatdrops. As in, you’ll be sweating a
lot trying to pose this one. Costs
around Php1300. You wouldn’t know if what
you’re moving is a moving part or if you’ve destroyed it already. Not recommended for playing. For display only.
Wanzer: Everybody freeze! This is a raid!!!
Front Mission 3 Wanzer Medin M1 & Wanzer Type 107
Kyojun by ARTFX ©1999 Square. CCCom rating: MH – mura sa Hong Kong [cheap in
Hong Kong]. Buy it there. Php600 equivalent in HKD. Costs about Php2000 locally. Made of nice heavy plastic (doesn’t
smell). Sturdily built (just don’t drop
it). Faithful to the original mech
designs from the game. Decent paint job
depiction of weathering and damage. If
you don’t like modeling kits, this toy’s for you!
RVR-39: Ahahaaay!!!
My beautiful face!
Wanzer 1: Ow—who’s head is this? Left lying around the place!
Wanzer 2: Umm, boss, do you have a spare pair o pants
with you? I think I tore mine.
KRGG!!
Crak! KRGG!! RIIIIP! KRGG!!
***
Galvatron: Grraahhrrr!!! This is my time for revenge!
I’m always denied entrance because of your blasted color-coding!!! Why?
What’s wrong with lavender?! I’m
not that different from Grimace™! How
come he has a VIP pass?!
BEASTWARS TRANSFORMERS: GALVATRON by TAKARA. CCCom rating: KU – kulay ube [same color as
a purple yam]. It would’ve been cool,
but… it has the color of a yam. Not
just a purple yam, but a sickly purple yam.
On the plus side, it has so many points of articulation, Memer lost
count… wait a minute, that’s also a minus side. Transformation sequence is sure to give you hours and hours of
fun… or frustration. Ask Memer. Robot form is amazingly fully pose-able and
has an amazing perpetually constipated look on its face (which might explain
his sickly color). Costs Php399.95. Out of stock in most toy stores because it
was put out of circulation.
Spiderman: What the heck!
Wanzer 1: ?!?
Wanzer 2: That STINKS!! Who farted?!?
Saruman:
Grimace is my brother-in-law!
Galvatron: I don’t CAAAARRRREE! You will pay!
Galvatron: Transform!
RVR-39: Oh no!
Anything but that!
Caption: Initiate Galvatron Modular Transformation
Sequence
[I don’t know what the Romaji means, so I won’t
bother]
After a few hours…
Galvatron: Ahh, wait!
Don’t go! I’m almost done… um,
all I have to do is fold my hand like this… a few more twists… CRAK! Ummm… do
any of your have super glue?
Hello? Hellooo!
Venom: Hey, man!
I picked up a head!
Spiderman: Throw it away! It’s out of date and has a horrible paint job!
Venom: At least it doesn’t stink!
Wanzer 1: Hey, what telenovela do you watch?
Wanzer 2: The one where the protagonist always gets
maltreated and gets amnesia, not knowing that he/she’s has a wealthy father…
Wanzer 3: Aren’t they all like that?
Scuba: ♪Pleeeease release me, let me gooo… for
I… don’t love you anymooore…♪
Saruman: What do you say, Aki? Work for me and I’ll make you a star!
End… unless we feel like it again!
FAN COMICS:
[Those in Filipino only]
Somebody Else’s Life by
Anonymous X
[First paragraph]
Ilog and IQ40 are doing this on
purpose… how come it’s just me on this?
Anyway, Evil Dex here, at your service.
Comikoto by Jhovinson Torayno
This story is about Job, our
protagonist and a struggling comic book artist, and Momo, a shapeshifter that’s
either in the form on a child or a scantily clad female elf. ^_~ We also have Zero – a boy constantly flying
about in search for the “defender.”
Hmm… I wonder who that could be?
The Comikoto issue that arrived
at our office was full of laughs, but hints at becoming action-packed later
on. The story is interesting and you
really want to find out what’ll happen next.
Too bad, the one that we got was still “To be continued.”
The artwork is good and it could
be better if the lines were smoother and more whole. The paneling is typical manga-esque. As a whole, it’s a fun read (the jokes were pretty typical, but
it’s still cool!). Jhovinson, looks
like the “How to Draw Manga” books sure came in handy, huh? Hehe!
Untitled by Eumir Peralta
Ilog: Aren’t tarsiers
nocturnal?
Mer: I think.
Ilog: Then why’s it sleeping
at night?
Mer: Memer II’s
different. He was inbred with a
Chihuahua.
Ilog: Ah, no wonder the
hair’s missing in patches.
Memer II: SKREEE!!! (BITE!)
Ilog: Owww!
Ilog’s Big Day by Shoi Hikki
Wait a minute!!!! I’m starting to notice something! How come you’re picking on me in this strip
too?! And why is there a whale in a
lake, and how did I catch it with a fishing rod, and… and… hu, hu, hu! Good thing I have a bucket on my head.
LETTERS TO THE STAFF:
[Fragments and those is
Filipino]
Carina Bianca Andal’s letter:
Hi! Taga-Ilog!
You’re so great! PASIG is so
good! I have a crush on you,
really! I wish we could meet! I love you! Send me an SMS!
Please? I buy 3 copies of each
issue of Culture Crash!
Senshi Mithi’s letter:
For those who do not like Solstice, I think it’s
improving. If they think JIO’s intros
have no relevance, the solution is simple: don’t read them! It just gives you some background info that
readers can’t find out on their own. I
think SB’s color is the most impressive among the stories, though I found the
inking too thick and the font too difficult to read. The panels are okay. But
I do wonder about this: How come Issho was sliced into two, but survived while
Herrera, who was hit in the joints and limbs died? (And she was my fave.)
I find Cat’s Trail funny and entertaining. Airee is supposed to be a talented thief but
Butler and Polaris had to save her twice.
And she’s so careless.
In ODID, was Mikaella Chan accelerated, or does she
just really think like a kid?
PASIG! My
fave. Kinda like Battle Angel Alita,
but cooler. Its projection of the
future is more realistic. Imagine, rice
at Php800 a kilo, oxygen dispensers, Ninoy Park, human cockfighting, snow. The dialogues are so cool because they’re in
straight Filipino. Why did Kiara have
to die? How come my favorite characters
always suffer the tragic fates?!?
Ace Delizo’s letter:
Your do great work.
Especially the artwork in ODID and PASIG. Solstice Butterfly has improved, but the story is kind of
confusing.
By the way, why don’t you guys make your stories
Filipino? Why not try drawing elements
from Philippine Mythology like tikbalang? [A creature that is a horse, chest up;
man, chest down.]
Reply to Ace Delizo’s letter:
All of our stories are Filipino: We’re Filipino, our protagonists are
Filipino, and our stories (mostly) are set right here. Usually, it is easy to see the animé-ish of
our work. It’s often too easy to ignore
the things like setting, character design details, jokes, and cultural
references, which make the work our own.
One Day Isang Diwa is partly grounded in Philippine
folklore (e.g., Jedd has an agimat [a magical stone], the Cloaked Man is an
evil fairy creature, etc.). Boss James
has no comment yet on the appearance of tikbalangs, kapre [a man-bat hybrid,
usually smoking cigars], etc. But we
have talked about this when discussing ODID.
Kora Cabungca’s letter:
I know that you need readers’ reactions to the
planned price increase. I wrote to show
you my full support. I need to save up,
but I rather think you deserve the best.
100% agreement, as long as you promise not to forget about us. More power!
Reya Dawnbringer’s letter:
What’ll happen if Culture Crash’s price is hiked up
to Php100, or worse, Php120? At Php100,
you’ll be comfortable, right? But it’ll
be better at Php120. But what will you
add to Culture Crash? More pages? Poster?
Columns? I hope you could say
what you’ll be adding, so we’ll know in advance.
Marco Carlo Alonzo’s letter:
What does Taga-Ilog really look like? How come I can’t find issue 5.5 in Baguio
anymore? And about the price increase
thingy… maybe you should stick to Php85.
Because that’s the limit of my allowance….
Reply to Marco Carlo Alonzo’s
letter: [First sentence only]
The only thing we’ll say about Taga-Ilog is: he’s
blue-eyed and long-haired, a la Fabio.
Jhayzelle’s letter:
Is CC being distributed monthly? Or whenever you feel like it? When should I look for CC? About the subscriptions, why not allow money
order so it’ll be easier for the readers?
Reply to Jhayzelle’s letter:
We were supposed to release monthly, Jhayzelle, but
due to certain problems which are currently being attended to, it isn’t
happening. We are, however, releasing
issues every two months (give or take a week).
Best to call the office, or check the mails and fan sites towards the
end of the two production months.
We don’t know if the people who buy know of or are
inclined to using money orders. It’s
difficult to bug the post office when claiming the money. We have also encountered problems with
people sending cash through the mail.
They thought THAT was money order (at first glance, it seems harmless,
but the potential for lost cash and frayed nerves was a fire alarm in our
heads). Paying through check and cash
deposits seem like such a hassle, but that’s the surest and safest way to send
money.
Culture
Crash™, Solstice Butterfly™, One Day, Isang Diwa™, PASIG™, Cat’s Trail™ and the
other names, logos and all related characters in this translation are ™ and ©
2002 Culture Crash Comics/J. C. Palabay Ent., Inc. and their respective owners.