English Translation of Culture Crash Comics Vol. 1 Issue No. 5.5

By Theresa Dy Lising

Translator’s note:

[ ] –> Culture notes/Translations

*** –> Page breaks/Separators

Editor’s Page:

[Fragments only]

First paragraph of editorial:

For many of you readers out there, you'll find that in this issue, we "decided to have some fun". We traded titles and totally put the continuity of each title for the past five issues into the trash bin.

Caption on Taga-Ilog's screencap:

Taga-Ilog Timba (Bucket) Transformation Sequence!

Solstice Butterfly

By E.A. Damaso

With permission from: Jerard Beltran

Version 5.5

Box: Somewhere off the coast of Palawan… [A long island in the southwestern region of the Philippines]

Joanne: Wow! It's a good thing we managed to get out of that forest crawling with AT-01s.

Joanne: It sure is time for a change in atmosphere.

Raya: You said it. At last, I'll be able to get that tan.

Raya: But it's gotten pretty dirty here. You can still see remnants of past battles.

***

Joanne: It sure is quiet today.

Joanne: I wish it would always be like this.

Raya: Where's Rajah?

Joanne: He's off looking for anything salvageable. He sure is hardworking. He never lets up even during vacation!

Raya: I see.

Joanne: Don't you think it's kinda sad that Herrera isn't here with us?

Raya: But we don't even know Herrera.

Joanne: Huh?! She's the one you killed in issue 5!

Raya: Really? You're right. It is such a waste.

***

FSSSHHHH

Raya and Rajah: Huh?!

FSSSSSHH

FSSHHAAA

Joanne: Missiles!?!

Joanne: They're headed for the city!

BAKU!!!

***

Rajah: What's that thing?!? And it's headed this way!

Joanne: It can't be…!

Joanne: That's…

Joanne: … The…

HRAAARRRR

***

Rajah: …The PS-001!!! That's Herrera's unit!!!

Raya: That name's starting to sound familiar…

Joanne: She's the one you killed in the previous issue, remember?

Raya: Oh, right. Do I have to kill her again?

Rajah: H-hey… Where the heck did your suits come from?

Rajah: What about me? I'll be left out of the comic!!!

Raya: You sure look a lot uglier this time!

Raya: Looks like the AT-01s have gotten to you too!

Joanne: Look out!!! It's about to fire!!!

***

BASHU!!!

Solstice: Hups!

Joanne: Raya! 'You okay?

Raya: Hff… hfff… hff…

Raya: I'm okay, Joanne.

Raya: Though I didn't even get hit, I feel like I’m getting boiled alive inside this armor due to the energy release!

Joanne: I picked up Herrera's life signs inside the beast.

Raya: Herrera…

Raya: …That's enough!

Raya: Stop it!

***

Rajah: Hey!!! I nearly got hit back there! It's payback time!!!

SSSSS SSSS SSSSS

Joanne: Rajah, don't shoot! Herrera's inside that thing…

Rajah: So what!!!

CHAK!

Rajah: That's no longer Herrera! She's been dead since last issue, remember?!

Joanne and Raya: Wait!!!

Rajah: Take this!!!

Dok Dok Dok

Rajah: Take this, monster!!!

SPLUK!

***

Rajah: Haha!!! Bull's eye!!!

Joanne: Though I don't want to believe it, it looks like Rajah's right…

Joanne: …Nanomachines are the only things that are keeping her alive.

Raya: …

Joanne: Lieutenant, that thing is out of control! All it can do at this point is destroy. We should take it out!

Raya: Herrera. Why does that name sound so familiar?

Raya: I know you, right?…

Raya: Herrera…

***

Raya: Let’s go this way, Herrera! There're lots of flowers here!

Herrera: Wait, Raya… I'm getting tired…

Raya: Hi-hi-hih!

Raya: Tired already? You're sure pretty lame…

Herrera: …I'm gonna make you a wreath of flowers!

Raya: Great!

Herrera: There! Raya, you look so pretty….

Raya: Really?

Herrera: The clouds look so beautiful, don't they? I wish I could touch them…

Raya: Yeah.

Herrera: Do you think we'll ever be able to fly? Even for just a little while….

***

Herrera: I heard that you're gonna be moving to Quezon City. I won't see you anymore.

Raya: No. We'll still see each other someday…

Herrera: Promise?

Raya: I promise.

CHKK!

Raya: Ukkk!!!

Joanne: Lieutenant Raya's the only one who can defeat Herrera now…

Rajah: Keep your guard up, Raya!!!

Herrera: Hello? May I speak to Raya?

Voice: She's not in at the moment. May I ask who this is? Herrera?

Herrera: …Yes…

BWWORSH

Voice: Would you like to leave a message?

Herrera: No, it's okay. I just wanted to say hi….

Raya: Forgive me…

Raya: …Herrera…

Herrera: She said that she'd give me a call today…

***

Raya: Forgive me!!! I didn't mean for that to happen!!!

KZZT KZZT KZZAT

Raya: …Herrera…

Herrera: …Raya…

Raya: I told you we'd meet again.

One Day, Isang Diwa

Story and Art by Taga-Ilog

Flats by Evil Dexter

Chapter 5.5: Portrait of a Goddess

Guy: Here she comes.

BRIIIIIIIIINGG!!!!!

***

TSHHH SKKT SKKTSHH

TMP TMP TMP TMP TMP

TMP TMP TMP TMP TMP TMP

TMP TMP TMP TMP TMP

Guy: EEYARGH! It just HAD to break! What rotten luck!

***

Guy: Too bad… and to think I was almost done… tsk… oh well, I can try again tomorrow.

Girl: Aha! And what do we have here?! I'll just have to confiscate this!!

SHHPP!

Guy: Ghaaaaah!

Girl: Hmmmm… you're pretty good… but you could still use a bit more practice. Waitaminute, just WHO is this?

Guy: Why'd you have to be so nosy?! Gimme that!

Guy: Don't you even know her?! She's the most beautiful girl on the face of Macopa High!!!

Girl: Hmmm… I don't look like that at all!

Guy: Yeah, right. [Literal translation: Thick. As in, having a thick hide or being overly narcissistic.]

Guy: This is Clarissa Perez! She's in third year section Sierra!

Girl: But she doesn't look like that either!

Guy: What're you talking about?! I drew her perfectly!

Girl: Why don't you get a new pair of glasses?!

Guy: Heh! You just can't hold a candle up to her!

Girl: …

SPC 1: Who're those two?!

SPC 2: Elijah Medina and Samantha Romero… both are in third year, section Delta.

FWP FWP FWP

SPC 3: Let's continue surveillance on them…

***

SPC 3: …Those two look like they're up to no good.

SPC 3: Initiate Samson… you know what to do.

Samson: Leave them to me.

SPC 4: It's up to you, then. We still have to find Jun Morales… that guy has some nerve…

SPC 2: We are the light that keeps watch in the darkness…

SPC 3: The ones who destroy those who would wish to disturb our goddess…

SPC 1: We live to serve her…

Box: 5:45 – Macopa High School

***

SHFFF~~

FWP

***

Samantha: Heh. Who am I kidding…

Samson: I said, gimme that!

***

Elijah: OOF!

WHAP!

SHFF TSH TSHH

HFF HFF HFF

Samson: Hmpf. You made me go through all that trouble, kid…

Elijah: Wh-what IS your problem?!

Samson: My problem?

Samson: Heh, I don't have a problem, but you do… didn't you know that no one is allowed to stain the beauty of our goddess?! No mere sketch can ever compare to her beauty!!!

***

Samson: This is the fate that this thing deserves…

NO!!!

Elijah: S-sam?!

Samantha: Why'd you DO that?!

Samson: I don't have time to waste on you.

Samantha: Ouch.

Elijah: SAMANTHA!!!

***

FWAAP!!!

KRKK!!

Elijah: You shouldn't have gotten involved…

Elijah: You even got yourself into trouble.

Samantha: Th-thanks.

Elijah: …

***

Elijah: Oh, before I forget… you look good without the cap.

Samantha: …You're sketch of Clarissa…

Samantha: It's ruined.

Elijah: That's okay. I can always make a new one…

Elijah: C'mon. I'll walk you home.

***

Samantha: You really DO need to get a new pair of glasses.

End of 5.5

PASIG

Story by Jescie James L. Palabay

Art by Elmer A. Damaso

Colors by: Evil Dhex and the CCCom Team

Mina: Stop it!!!

Isiah: Wh-what?!

Mina: This slave is the property of my family. No one is allowed to hunt or capture him. I'd let myself be jailed first before that happens!!!

KRANG!

Mina: Son of a…

***

Mina: Hey!!! Lemme out! You can't keep me in here! I am a bounty hunter! I trained for five years in Bataan!

CHNK! CHNK! CHNK!

Mina: …As a matter of fact. I studied there for five years! [A spoof of a local beer commercial where a famous pool player speaks in Filipino and then says the same thing in English.]

Dante: Why don't you just shut up… not like your English'd impress them…

***

Mina: …

Dante: …

Box: After a few hours…

Mina: You like me, don't you?

Dante: Hah! You wish!

Mina: Because you've been staring at me for some time. Oh, come on, admit it!

Dante: That's not likely.

Mina: Why? I'm cute and sexy to boot!

Dante: Because… I'm… GAY.

***

Mina: G… ge… ge… ge…

Dante: Just kidding. You were just being too persistent.

Mina: I knew it!!! If you're a real guy, it's not likely that you wouldn't fall for me!

Dante: I said I was only kidding.

Mina: …Because I'm beautiful, kind, hardworking… and beautiful!

Dante: So persistent…

SHWIP!

***

Mina: Dante…

Dante: I'm not gay.

KA-CHAK!!!

Dante: Okay, I got the door open. Let's go, Mina.

Dante: It's a good thing some of our stuff are just outside…

Mina: W-what's happening? My heart's beating so fast. What is this I'm feeling?!

Mina: Could it be…? Yes! It is! Oh, Dante!

Dante: Get dressed.

Mina: Y-yes.

***

Mina: Why'd they make us strip in the first place?!

Dante: So that we won't have anything to use for escape… and besides, this is supposed to be the summer special. Late, as usual.

Guy: After them!!!

SHAAA—

THP!

CHA!

BRAKA BRAKA BRAKA

***

[2 page spread]

THP! THP! THP! THP!

SSHH

Dante: !!!

SHWIP! SHWIP!

VWIP! VWIP! VWIP!

BRAK! BRAK! BRAK! BRAK!

WHOOOOSH

Dante: Mina, free the slaves.

Mina: O-ok…

Mina: Gimme a kiss after, okay?

***

KRAK!

Dante: Wh-what??!?!

Announcer: …And on this side, Dante!!! One of the mythical warrior class slaves of Pasig.

Announcer: He will be facing Charen!!! The steel warrior of Frisco.

Charen: Dante, choose your weapon.

***

SH-KRK!

BWOOSH!

FASH

SSHH~~~

KTANG!

***

Voices: Finish her!

Voices: Dante! Dante! Dante the Merciful!

DANTE THE MERCIFUL!

Voices: Dante!

Voices: D!-A!-N!-T!-E!!

Voices: Dante!

Voices: Finish her!

POOM!

Voice: Ouch.

Voices: Dante!!!

DANTE! DANTE! DANTE THE MERCIFUL!

Voices: Dante!!!

DANTE THE MERCIFUL!

Voices: Dante!!!

Voice: Spaniard! Spaniard!!! [The Philippines used to be a Spanish colony.]

HACK! CHOP!

Voice: ¿Por que?

***

Mina: Forward, my brothers!!! [The battle cry of the Philippine revolution.]

Mina: …Vanquish them so we could be free!!! Rescue Dante!!!

Guy: …And that's what happened! In 20XX, all of the slaves were freed because of the leadership of Neo Dantes Maximus Bonifacius! And Pasig was… wait a sec, what am I doing here?!

Diwa: The boss said that the story's already too compressed as it is! It needed a wrap-up, and since that's your specialty, here you are!

Guy: Oh, but did they get permission from Lord Memer? This is copyright infringement, you know!

Diwa: No, it isn't! That's why he's called the BOSS!

Is this The End?

How We Draw 5 Special Pull-Out Edition:

[Fragments only]

IQ 40: Aha! Anime Anatomy! I'll finally be able to use the stuff I stole from the Shaolin Temple…

IQ 40: If you simply change the position or form of your guide, you can already make different poses for your character. Just a reminder, however: Though you can change the position of the basic structure to create different poses, there are limits to human anatomical mobility. For example: The human head cannot turn 360 degrees.

IQ 40: Start drawing your character by following the guides used in the first step. It doesn't necessarily have to follow the guide lines, just as long as it closely follows the form.

IQ 40: Just like in the second step, we'll superimpose the clothes on the nude guide and follow the lines.

Cat’s Trail Issue 5.5

Everything done by Jerard Beltran

Episode 5.5: T'was the Cave That Spot Built…

Karin: Hello! Welcome back to another edition of Cat's Trail!

Karin: With us once again is… is…

KULILING! KULILING! KULILING! [The sound of bells chiming.]

Voice: Excuse me, miss…

Guy: Hello, Karin.

Karin: Ahahaaay! He knows me! And he's so cute! Haaay!

Guy: Don't you recognize me? I'm you're sidekick L-Gin!

L-Gin: The little green ninja who's always with you.

KILIG!! KILIG!! KILIG!! KILIG!! KILIG!! [The closest translation for "Kilig" is to tremble with excitement or nervousness.]

Karin: Such a delicious looking guy!

Karin: Come here, handsome!

JIO's note: This issue has nothing to do with the real story of Cat's Trail.

***

Karin: Come here, my love!

Karin: The bells! The bells! The bells of Notre Dame!

Karin: Your kiss is the only thing that could silence me.

Karin: Don't leave me, my Don Juan.

L-Gin: Karin? Is ev'rythin' okay?

Karin: You had me at hello…

Karin: You are the stream to my thirsty heart…

Karin: Oh, love! Have faith in me!

Karin: I can show you the world…

Karin: Wherever I look, I can see heaven…

Karin: Oh Romeo, my Romeo, my El Filibusterismo! [El Filibusterismo is a novel written by the national hero, Jose Rizal.]

L-Gin: Looks like this girl's got quite a hang-up. I guess it didn't do her much good, eating that boiled cuttlefish.

L-Gin: Haha! This is my chance! I can finally narrate Cat's Trail my way!!!

Karin: Jack! Jack! Draw me wearing this and only this… Jack?

Karin: Yooo-hooo!

Karin: What's a lovely boy like you doin' in a place like this?

Karin: My, my! What big muscles you have, papa! ["Papa" is slang for a boyfriend, or, in a worse case, a sugar daddy.]

L-Gin: On with the show!

L-Gin: After being teased for being short and a lay about… after I've been kicked around and maltreated, my fifteen minutes of fame has arrived!

Karin: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me…

L-Gin: Grim Fairytails… page 427 and onwards…

L-Gin: This is the cave that spot built…

IT'S AMAZING HOW YOU CAN SPEAK RIGHT TO MY HEART… YOU SAY IT BEST, WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL [Just turned it into a more readable version]

***

Box: This is the cave that Spot* built.

Box: This is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Box: This is Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Box: This is Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Volt Ampirs: Ouch!!

Box: This is Airee who chases Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Airee: Boo!

Wendy: Yaaah!

*: see issue 6 (or 7) – Ed.

***

Box: This is Butler who harasses Airee who chases Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Butler: I found gold in Memeria!

Airee: Hey!

Box: This is Airee who beats up Butler who harasses Airee who chases Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Volt Ampirs: Why're they fighting?

Box: This is the Sheriff who hunts down Airee who beats up Butler who harasses Airee who chases Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Sheriff Poppy: Sector clear…

Sheriff Poppy: Go, go, go!

***

Box: This is Polaris who looks out for the Sheriff who hunts down Airee who beats up Butler who harasses Airee who chases Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Box: This is the Memer that created the story called Cat's Trail whose characters are: Polaris who looks out for the Sheriff who hunts down Airee who beats up Butler who harasses Airee who chases Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built.

Box: This is the Jio that messes with the Memer that created the story called Cat's Trail whose characters are: Polaris who looks out for the Sheriff who hunts down Airee who beats up Butler who harasses Airee who chases Wendy who rides Volt Ampirs who is the wolfrat that dwells in the cave that Spot built… Let the games benign!! (Wendy and Volt were created by Jio.)

Note: 'Benign' is not a typo. It's a joke. So, laugh. I did! But don't take my word for it. Try it! – Ed.

***

[This is a vain attempt to make this work. The translations are not exactly the same, but the sentiment is there.]

Airee: Huh?!

Wendy: I'll never stop following you, Airee Colette of Havanna Kingdom.

Wendy: Do you know who I am, my friend?

Airee: How'd I know?!

Wendy: I'm Wendy, don't you recognize me? Wendy Acosta, your playmate and buddy!

Airee: Oh, yeah. Little Wendy, small as a rivet.

Wendy: Oh, yes! You remembered, big Airee Colette! You took away my Jack Stone, stole my jarred Al Capone collection, along with my dolls, Belle and Gaston!

Airee: I didn't take anything! You made a mistake!

Wendy: That's what you said with a smile on your face! Return our holy grail…

Wendy: Or prepare to face great Lord Volt Ampirs!

***

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

KZZZZT! KZZZZT!

Volt Ampirs: Pitiful humans, prepare!

Studio Culture Crash Presents: VOLT AMPIRS!! ™

Directed by Wong Fei Hong

Screenplay by Wei-wi Dang

Airee: Templar Knight?!

Airee: Can he rhyme?

***

Volt Ampirs: You will be much harmed by my attack, so watch your back. A million volts I use to electrocute…

Volt Ampirs: Enough to bring down ten elephants on cue.

Polaris: What kind of elephant, exactly? Male or female of the specie? Waitaminute, what you're saying sounds so sleazy!

Volt Ampirs: So now it is me you will face, as I send you to your final resting place!

Airee: But isn't that where we'll end up in any case? Even without your help, that's what we'll face in our final days!

Butler: Here's your Holy Grail, now shut up already!

Wendy: But… nevertheless… however… is this the end of this ditty? No discord or conflict, no matter how itty-bitty? Man, this turned out to be so corny!

KA-TSAK!!

Poppy: Freeze! This is the police!

Volt, Wendy, Polaris, Butler and Airee: Sheriff Poppy!!!

Poppy: Airee Colette, you have the right to remain silent…

***

Airee: Sheriff Poppy, a moment if you may, please take time to watch what you say!

Poppy: And why should I?

Airee: What you say should rhyme, like in 'Balagtasan' which was popular for a time. [Balagtasan is a dialogue/play wherein all the characters speak in rhyme, named after Francisco Balagtas, the famous Filipino poet.]

Poppy: A… e… i… o… u?

Soldier: Right you are, sheriff! You're one great… ah… ahh… helif!! [Helif is a made-up word.]

Poppy: What’s that?

Soldier: Trust me, sir, as long as it rhymes, it's always on time!

Poppy: Airee, I place you under arrest! You cannot escape me for I am the best!

Airee: My, you're really good with English!

Poppy: Haha! Don't mention it!

Soldier: Sheriff! Airee's making a run for it!

Poppy: Ah my ghulay! [Oh my vegetables!] Damahayhay!

Poppy: Even Wendy's escaping!

Damahayhay: Sheriff, why aren't you rhyming?

Poppy: After them!!

***

Poppy: Where'd they go?! Ayuda, look for them there!

Poppy: Sarge, you search that way!

Poppy: Damahayhay, bring that templar knight in for interrogation!

GYAAAAAA!

Damahayhay: Bit sheriff, you're no longer speaking in rhyme!

KZZZZT!

Airee: Whoooh! We almost got arrested!

Wendy: Good thing Poppy was distracted.

Airee: Is the sheriff after you too?

Wendy: Yes, 'cause my taxes are all overdue!

Wendy: Plus, I stole the Golden Acorn and the Diamond Jubilee, I even filched the Little Big Horn and the Silver Anniversary.

Butler: You're somethin' else, Wendy Acosta. You've got a helluva wit!

Polaris: Here comes the Sheriff! We'd better lay low for a bit.

Butler: Okay, the coast is clear. What a stressful day this is!

Wendy: Hey, now Butler's talkin' straight English!

***

Airee: So, you found me this time, Wendy! It's now your turn to hide from me!

Wendy: Yup! Airee, this time you're it! Next time let's continue this bit!

Polaris: After ten years, they're still playing hide and seek…

Butler: I don't wanna speak in rhyme anymore!

Box: And this is where Cat's Trail ends…

tweetweet! tweetweet! tweetweet!

Karin: You complete me…

L-Gin: I already saw that movie!

BROOM

Guy: Help me…

Sign on truck: POPPY COLA Made Just Right

Finally! (It's done!!)

The CC Com Graffiti Culture Crash Fan Art Gallery:

[Fragments only]

Caption on Molly Velasco's work:

ODID looks like Dawson's Creek, there're a lot of characters! Mina's cute!

Caption on Dark Wanderer's work:

How'd you know that Joanne's gonna kick the bucket? Hehe, just kidding…

CCCom babes: kinda like the AXN super summer special! (Only school's already started!)

CULTURE CRASH COMICS EXTRA

KUBORI KIKIAM

Original concept: Alfredo

Story: Taga-kanal (A person/thing from the gutter)

Art: Kikiam and people – Taga-kanal

Art: Squidball and fishball – Taga-Ilog

Colors: Taga-Ilog

Flats: Evil Dhex

!Warning: The following pages of this story may contain offensive, censored language not suitable for young readers… Parental guidance is advised.

***

HOW WE COOK:

Kikiam – n. (kí-kyám)

1. The protagonists of this comics

2. Anywhere from 5 ¾ to 6 inches in height and weight ranges from 1 ¾ to 2 ¾ pounds

3. From left to right: (see illustration) Benjo, Dodon, Manny

4. Price ranges from Php 4.00 to Php 5.00, and could be bought from fishball vendors

5. They are not turtles

The Way to Cook Fishballs:

Ingredients:

1 kilo fish meat

3 Tbsp cornstarch

2 Tbsp salt

1 Tbsp baking powder

¾ cup water

1. Using a knife, mince the fish meat until fine. Add salt.

2. Combine the baking powder and cornstarch to the ¾ cup water until dispersed. Add the fish-salt mixture and mix thoroughly.

3. Mix until it forms a paste. Form into small globes and drop into a pot of boiling water. Cook until fishballs rise to the surface.

4. Remove the fishballs and drain using a colander.

5. Unused fishball mixture should be sealed in a plastic bag and kept in the freezer.

The Way to Cook Squidballs:

Ingredients:

500 g. squid

4 Tbsp sugar

2 Tbsp salt

5 Tbsp onions, minced

3 Tbsp garlic, minced

1 ½ Tsp monosodium glutamate (MSG, Ajinomoto)

3 Tbsp cold water

1. Clean the squid and pass through a food processor. Add salt.

2. Combine cornstarch, sugar, garlic, onion, MSG, and cold water. Mix thoroughly for 20 minutes.

3. When the mixture becomes pasty, form into balls and cook in 40^o water for 20 minutes. Transfer into 90^o water for 20 minutes. (Notice a pattern?)

4. Strain and let cool before serving. Extra mixture should be sealed in a plastic bag and kept in the freezer.

Note: Kids, for those who want to cook fishballs, don't bother… Just buy them from the vendors.

Fishball – n. (fish bol)

1. The antagonists of this comics.

2. Has a height of 3 inches and a weight range of 1-2 pounds

3. Classification: fireballs, shockballs, airballs, and ninjaballs

4. Costs Php 0.50 from fishball vendors

5. They are not takoyaki [Japanese delicacies. A dough ball filled with sliced squid and spices.]

Squidball – n. (sku wid bol)

1. The commanders of the fishballs

2. Has a height of 4 inches and weight of 2 ¾ pounds

3. Top left to bottom: Chop-sweh, T2-hog, Tali-ya, Extad, Ralf, Toma-hok

4. Costs Php 2.00 from fishball vendors

5. They don't say "moja" ["Moja" is the signature expression from the animation Mojacko]

***

Bucket-man: Kanal, [gutter] good news! James gave us six pages to work with.

Kanal: Okay! (Of course, we already wasted two pages). We gotta make this really good. Full color, right? Wonder what'd make a good story… I know!

Kanal: … A fight!

Dodon: Wait!!!

***

Dodon: What're we doin' here?!

Manny: Where'd these [censored] fishballs come from?!

KZZAAAT!!!

Manny: Waitaminute, why's this [censored] censored?!

Benjo: Manny, we're already mainstream. Profanity's not allowed.

HWOOOSSSHHHSSS

Manny: What if I put it another way?

Benjo: Maybe… try it.

Manny: Then I'll kick your @** you c5%**+%!@#ing f+5%!@***!#

Tali-ya: Oh my! The language! Kids, don't imitate Manny, 'cause swearing's bad.

Toma-hok: Hey!!! [censored] fight, will 'ya!

Tali-ya: Shut up, [censored]!!!

***

Manny: Now asterisks keep popping out!

Benjo: Of course, so it wouldn't be too blatant.

Manny: What about Bertigo?

Benjo: That's for mature readers.

WSHH WSHH TMP TMP

Manny: But CCCom's using manga style.

Benjo: So?

TMP TMP TMP TMP

Manny: We're supposed to have more freedom. What about Urotsukubori? All they did was [censored]!

Dodon: Oh? Where can you find that?

Toma-hok: There're a lot at Bihirra Mall. [Spoof of an old local mall]

THWKK!

***

Ralf: There isn't just Urotsu: Lala Blu Gal, School Devices, Angel of Dhaahkness…

FWIP

Ralf: … Bend of Summer, Newt Angel, Ogenki Hospital, FF3, Forkid Emblem, Dragonbold Z.

ktt tnng

Ralf: … Sailormoon R18, Samurai XXX, Akazukin Chuk Chak, Ishmurfs…

SHKKLLKK

Manny: Benjo, why is it that it's okay with the Japanese?

Benjo: Because they're Japanese.

SHK LOK!!!

Toma-hok: Ouch! [censored] That hurt!

Dodon: When I grow up, I wanna be a Japanese! Kiyaaah!

Bucket-man: Sorry, Kanal, but James couldn't include Kubori after all. The dollar shot up again…, you know how it is.

Kanal: That's okay. We're used to photocopying anyway.

Photocopy guy: Boy, this'll use up a lot of toner. Dollars are up, you know.

Sign over the copier: **edscom, Normal: Short P 1.50, Long P2.00; Dark: Short P2 million, Long Forbidden.

Sign beside the above sign: Scowling not allowed.

Box: Not to be continued…

Fan Comics!

[Fragments and those entirely in Filipino]

Caption on Rea Mae Pascasio's Work:

Mer: Wild Fantasy… hmmm… such a risqué title…

Bhoss: Oi! Mer! It's not what you're thinking!

Mer: Ah, ok. Her shading's pretty good. Looks like she even used charcoal.

Bhoss: Did you know that charcoal can eliminate poison from your system if you mixed it with egg white? I saw it on MacGuyver, the episode when he got sent back to the Dark Ages!

Mer: How'd we end up talking about that?

Bhoss: Oh, yeah. Anyway, did you know that charcoal can turn into diamond under extreme heat and pressure…?

Mer: Her paneling's nice, right?

Bhoss: …And I saw that on Superman 2.

Mer: I knew we shouldn't have asked him to review these.

Caption on Rebecca Angela de Guzman's work, last two paragraphs:

I liked the way you made use of the storyboard type of dialogue in your paneling. Almost like anime! It gets a little confusing when two people start talking in one panel, but all in all, your story has a good flow to it.

The facial expressions on your characters are okay, and just add a little more detail to your backgrounds to establish the mood of each scene.

Caption on Patrick Tan's work:

Sweet Surrender is the title of this comic book. His artwork is like Kia Asamiya's (in other words, great!) but the lines he uses have an unfinished feel to them.

The story begins with Vhiene, a female police officer who's in charge of a peaceful district (the name of which, the author failed to mention). Nothing ever happens, so she's often left bored. One day, a new guy was transferred to Block 2, for whom she developed a liking, and that's when the robberies began. It turns out that the mayor of the district's twisted, and so it is being speculated whether or not the new guy's a mercenary.

The storytelling lacks transitions, but the character build-up's good. His paneling's also good, so the story's pretty easy to understand. Two thumbs up.

Caption on Ara Beltran's work:

This story takes place in Japan. It still isn't clear to us who the real protagonist of this story is, and the paneling of the first volume wasn't very good, but it improved by the third volume. The storytelling's good and the plot is very 'shoujo' [for girls]. By the way, it's already three notebooks long! No pencils! She drew them directly using ballpens! We don't know the story's title. Mer says, "You're great, girl." Ilog says, "It's very mushy." I say, "You're really good."

Caption on Kimberly Lim's work:

JIO: I remember when Che2 came up to me…

IQ40: She fought me using the Adobe Style Revolving Technique…

Ilog: I wasted the boot I fished from the river…

Memer II: Kreee! Kreee!

JIO: …she said she was looking for a job…

IQ40: …she tripped over Memer II, which was why she lost…

Ilog: …would you believe that she wanted to take a picture of my lovely face?!…

Memer II: Kreeee! Skreee-skreee!

JIO: …I told her to just take a picture of Taga-Ilog…

IQ40: Poor Memer II…

Memer II: Skreee-skreeeee-kreeee!

JIO: Che2's on her way again! Ilog, you'd better hide!

Memer: She's done for this time!

Ilog: Here we go again!

Doj:

Benjo: Thanks, mister.

Jun: Benjo, that looks nice!

Benjo: You want some, Jun?

Jun: Bleakh!

Benjo: Slurp! Slurp!

LETTERS TO THE STAFF:

[Fragments only and those which are totally in Filipino.]

Doreen Theresita D. Molina's letter:

My dear friends, the Culture Crash staff…

Your issues are really nice, but they leave us hanging!

I hope Php 85.00 will be the highest price your comic will ever get, after all, what's the use of having an expensive product when only a few are willing to buy? Especially when there are a lot of people interested in it. Don't you have a stable price?

Response to Doreen Theresita D. Molina's letter:

So far, it looks like we're stable at Php 85.00!

Roderick C. Vinuya's letter:

Hi, I'm Rvin from Makati.

I once collected translated comics from Viz and Dark Horse. Unfortunately, I had to quit because they got to be too expensive. But when CC Comics came into the picture, my view on collecting changed. Only Php 85.00… can you imagine?

I like your How We Draw/Write portion. Very educating, and I learned a lot from them. You are helping a lot of aspiring artists, young or old.

Will you ever come up with graphic novels, posters, T-shirts in the future for collectors such as myself?

Response to Roderick C. Vinuya's letter:

There are plans to release additional events, but due to events beyond our control, we had to set these thoughts aside for the moment.

Jobelle Gesmundo's letter, last paragraph only:

Guys, could I suggest something to you? I take it that you get a lot of fan manga, so why not feature one (as in, like your comic format) every issue?

Culture Crash™, Solstice Butterfly™, One Day, Isang Diwa™, PASIG™, Cat’s Trail™ and the other names, logos and all related characters in this translation are ™ and © 2001 Culture Crash Comics/J. C. Palabay Ent., Inc. and their respective owners.