English
Translation of Culture Crash Comics Vol. 1 Issue No. 4
By
Theresa Dy Lising
Translator’s
note:
[ ]
–> Culture notes/Translations
***
–> Page breaks/Separators
James
Palabay’s note:
Special thanks to the Bad Badtz
Maru for posing for us and keeping us company during our long, lonely nights.
Memer II, go home! I already bought you your hairgel! What else could you
possibly want? Spray Net?
Cat’s Trail
Story and Art by: E.A. Damaso
Episode
4: The Monster Savior
Karin:
Hello! It’s me again! The beautiful raconteur [narrator] of this story –
Karin!!!
Guy:
Wait a minute…. How come you’ve become tall and sexy while I’m still like this?
Karin:
That’s because I’m truly beautiful and sexy… while you’re a real shorty.
Guy:
And didn’t you use to be the massive succubus?
Guy:
Well, at least that was what you said!
Karin:
GRRRR!
Karin:
MAGNIFICENT SORCERESS!!! What’s with the massive succubus…?
Guy:
Oh? Don’t be like that. You’re face is getting all ugly.
Guy:
…Or maybe you just don’t have your make-up on properly… that’s it!
WOK!
***
Karin:
Before we find ourselves any farther than we already are…
Karin’s
narrative: We last saw our heroes breaking out of jail in Featherwoods…
Karin’s
narrative: Thanks to Butler’s help, they were able to make their way up a tree
that could serve as a temporary hiding place.
Guy:
Why does she always pick on me?…
Karin’s
narrative: Unfortunately, Butler’s illusion wore off before they could get very
far…
Guard:
Eep! [Literal translation: Oh, monkey! An expression of surprise. Variations
include: Ay, kalabaw! (Oh, carabao!); Ay, saging! (Oh, banana!); etc.
Expressions using the names of animals are most common, though.]
Guy: …
I’m also pretty cute!
Karin’s
narrative: Sheriff Poppy was furious and he ordered a thorough search of the
entire area…
Guy:
Fine. You do all the work.
Guy:
I’ll just go ahead and eat.
Karin:
… That’s why Airee, Polaris and Butler are still stuck in their current
location.
***
Karin:
Hey, gimme some of that!
Guy: No
way! Not after all those insults you hurled at me… go cook your own food.
Karin:
I don’t know how.
Guy:
Well, that’s too bad.
Box:
Meanwhile…
Airee:
Oooohhh! Why do we seem to be getting nothing but bad luck?
Airee:
Sure, we managed to get out of jail, but now we’re stuck here! It’s just as bad
as being IN jail…
Polaris:
There aren’t even any cigarettes! $#@%!
Butler:
Hmmmm…
Butler:
The situation on the ground’s still pretty bad. It doesn’t look like we can try
to move yet…
Butler:
AH!…
***
Airee:
Man, that climb sure took a lot outta me!!!
Butler’s
narrative: Oh, nooooo!!!
Butler’s
narrative: Why?… Why?!…
Butler’s
narrative: Why do you torture me like this?
Butler’s
narrative: A-HA-HAH-HAHHHHH!!!
Butler’s
narrative: SHE’S SO SEXY!!! YEHEHEH-HEHEHEHH!
SPAK!
Butler:
Ouch.
Airee:
You’re a real pervert, you know?!
Airee:
Grrrrr…
Butler:
I didn’t do it on purpose! You were the one fanning yourself with your shirt and
all… [try saying this with a piece of cotton in your mouth… a big piece.]
Polaris:
Why don’t you create another illusion… just like before…
Butler:
E-heh-heh… I’m not REALLY a sorcerer! I can’t repeat the spell.
Butler’s
thought: I no longer have any spiritual and mental strength.
Polaris:
Oh, shit! [Literal translation: dead. Could be taken as ‘we’re dead.’]
POW!
BOOM! TOK! WA-KOOM!
Airee:
You are so annoying! You’re even making Polaris depressed!
Butler:
Huhuhu…
***
Butler:
Don’t worry, because I have a "back-up plan"!!!
Butler:
But first we need to wait for nightfall…
Airee:
Huh?!
Polaris:
I know that darkness will help, but we must bear in mind that Poppy’s men would
be even more vigilant come nightfall. Believe me when I say that we still won’t
be able to get very far…
Butler’s
narrative: I know that but…
Butler’s
narrative: … tonight… there will come…
Butler:
… a savior!
Guard:
Sir! We’ve searched all of Featherwoods and we’ve found nothing.
Poppy:
Damn it! Continue the patrols…
Poppy:
… No one will rest. Prepare torches for nightfall.
***
[2 page
spread]
Airee:
Huh?! What was that?
Airee:
NGAA!!! It’s a giant bird!!!
Butler:
That’s the Ragnarok – our means of escape.
Airee:
We’re gonna make a break for it on that beast?!
Butler:
The Ragnarok is believed to be the guardian of this forest. The inhabitants of
Featherwoods worship it and they won’t try to attack us once we’re on…
WHOOOOOOSSSHH
Butler:
Prepare yourselves! Get a good grip on that rope!
Airee:
Looks like he’s already lost his mind…
Polaris:
He’s crazy alright. It’s like he’s not even afraid to die.
Butler’s
narrative: Truth be told, it’s impossible to use a grappling hook because of
this wind…
Whp Whp
Fwooop
Butler’s
narrative: … All I need is to find the right tempo!
THUNK!
Box:
Meanwhile, on the ground…
Poppy:
Why’s everybody bowing?!
Guard:
Sir, that thing’s the Ragnarok – the guardian of their forest!
Poppy:
Ragnarok?!
Butler:
E-heh-hehe-hehe!!! I did it! I really did it!!! He-he…
Butler:
… We’ll finally be able to get away! Airee… my love…
***
Shrrriiip!
Butler:
My bag!!!
Airee:
What was that?
Polaris:
Forget about it and climb!
Poppy:
Ragnarok?…
Guard:
Sir! Duck!
Poppy:
?!
Guard:
I’ll take care of it, sir!!!
***
SKKKSSSSHHH
Guard:
Are you okay, sir? Ulk!
Poppy:
No.
Poppy’s
narrative: Bag?!
Poppy’s
narrative: Bag’s don’t suddenly fall out of the sky…
Poppy’s
thought: Birds don’t carry knapsacks…
Poppy:
AFTER THE RAGNAROK! ON THE DOUBLE!!!
Guard:
Sir… sir… that hurts…
Taga-Ilog:
Memer, what happened to Sheriff Poppy’s torch?
Memer:
Huh?! A… e… he put it down on the ground so that he can strangle that dumb
subordinate of his.
***
Taga-Ilog:
Memer, I don’t see it anywhere! We’re already using the ‘bird’s eye view’
perspective and I still don’t see it. You’re pulling my leg, right?
Memer:
Ummm… he threw it FAR away! It’s already off panel, that’s why you couldn’t see
it anymore! That’s right… Hehehe!…
Guard:
Sir! Here’s your North Stallion – Brownie!
Poppy:
Has it already eaten?
Guard:
The man assigned to look out for him disappeared. But it looks like he’s
already full, sir!
Jio: I
know! Brownie must have eaten it and deposited it somewhere! Stop quarreling,
ok?
Karin:
I’m hungry…
Guy: I
think I’ll have seconds…
To be
continued…
PASIG – Chapter 4: Steel
Mercenary
Story and Art by Taga-Ilog
Mina 1:
!!!
Hff Hff
H…
Tingg
Dante:
M-Mina… get out of here… hurry!!!
Mina 2:
Dante!!!
Trisha:
What’s going on here?!!
***
Mina:
N-no… I didn’t do it!
Shffs
Voice:
I know.
Hff Hff
Dante:
Mina! Behind you!
Shadow:
You’re such a weakling, Mina… the hesitation is still apparent on your face…
whatever happened to your training in Bataan?
Shadow:
Are they truly gone?
Shadow:
After all, what kind of a bounty hunter sheds tears for her prey?
***
Shadow:
Looks like everything I taught was wasted on you…
K-chk
Cyborg:
If you can’t fulfill your duties as a bounty hunter, I’ll gladly be the one to
finish this slave…
Heh heh
heh
Mina 2:
Dante!!!
Dante:
Trisha! Take your sister and get out of here…
Mina 1:
Charen…
***
Mina: I
am a bounty hunter… not a mercenary. … And until I know what he’s done… I will
not play the executioner.
***
BKAM
Charen:
Principles, bah! I should have known! This is the only justice I recognize!!!
tp
Pting
Dante:
Too slow.
Charen:
W-what?!!
Fwap
Mina:
Stop it, Charen!!!
***
KIIIAA
IAAA
Mina:
Get out of here, Charen.
Charen:
There’s hope for you yet, Mina.
Charen:
I only wish that you hadn’t sided with a slave.
Shiing
BKAM
***
Mina’s
thought: W-what?!
KZAATT
Mina:
Th-thanks…
Charen:
Heh – you haven’t changed, Dante… You’re still good with a gun. Well? What are
you waiting for?! Finish it!
ZZZTT
Dante:
Charen, tell you master that if he wants something from me, he’d better come
for it himself. Is that clear?!
***
Charen:
I’ll be back for you, Dante… Remember that!
Dante:
Will you become my enemy too, Mina?
Mina: …
Mina:
My sisters have come to love you too much, Dante. I can’t bear to see them sad
because of me…
Dante:
That’s good to hear.
Tup.
Dante:
Mina, just how did you meet Charen?
***
Mina’s
narrative: She was my classmate in Bataan… it was just a few weeks after we’d
started training when she decided to be changed into a cyborg and become a
mercenary instead… And you, Dante? How’d you meet her?
Dante:
It’s a long story…
Dante:
A past I wish I could forget…
Dante:
Mina, there’s something I want to ask of you…
Dante:
Please take care of your sisters… It’s going to be too dangerous for you if I
stay here any longer – I’ll be leaving tomorrow.
Mina:
But…
Dante:
Please, please be the one to explain to them…
***
Voice:
Have you eliminated the slave, cyborg?
Charen:
N-not yet… I didn’t expect him to have a bounty hunter ally.
Voice:
I will double the bounty on his head… nothing must stop you, Charen!
Voice:
Kill anyone who stands in your way.
Charen:
Understood.
To be
continued…
Solstice Butterfly
Created by Jerard Felix Beltran
Chapter
1:4 Fate
Historical
Supplement
Antarcticas:
The Non-Country.
The Antarcticas is known for
being the most inhospitable region of the world. With severe temperatures and a
low population level, it is little more than an icy desert. These are just some
of the reasons why it became the world’s Testing Ground.
The Antarctican Colony is made
up of research laboratories belonging to the Unis Amerikas (UA), the Regent
Orients (RO), and the European Union (EU). This is where the prototypes of the
Armored Tech, Proto Sols, and other mechas used by the Gaia-Unis for war and
construction came into being.
The Antarcticas attained their
independence when the Gaia-Unis allowed them to form their own constitution.
They were forced to become a separate nation so that they could serve as
Neutral Ground for the founding members of Gaia-Unis. The Southern Cross
Convention was made to serve as protocol for the member nations of the
Gaia-Unis. It was also here that the Gaia-Unis and the Martian Colonies were
first unified thus establishing the Inner-Ring Federation. Even though the
Antarcticas have their own leader, laws, and constitution, they could still
hardly be called a true nation because they are still controlled by the UA, the
RO and the EU.
In their desire for true
independence, they secretly developed more advanced weaponry using the
technology from all three countries. Amongst these were the EMP rifle and, more
particularly, the EMP bomb. The EMP bomb is only as large as a tennis ball, but
it is more powerful than any other weapon employing EMP (Electro-Magnetic
Pulse) technology. It could cease the flow of electricity and destroy any
electrical device within its blast range, which is about as wide as the as the
land area of Korea. But despite all this, the other nations still looked down
upon them.
It came as a shock to the entire
world when the whole EU fell in single day due to the chain detonation of many
EMP bombs within the region. The assassination of the Sovereign King of the
United Afro-Arabias (UAA) and the detonation of an EMP bomb in California
followed this. An investigation conducted by the UA identified the Antarcticas
as being the instigator of these events and that was why the UA immediately
used the Satellite Operated Laser (SOL) to stop their attacks and render their
technology useless.
Two groups, one from the UA and
one from the RO, met in order to restore peace and order in the world, but none
of them made it back alive. This strained relations between the two nations and
became the start of a new war.
Proto-Sols
Stage Zero: I am the granddaddy of all Proto-Sols! Bwahahahaha!!
Armature
Tech Zero-Zero: This chart shows how the Antarcticas used to be divided prior
to the formation of the five regions. This shows the RO, UA, and EU zones of
the Antarcticas.
Picture
caption: Maj. Jonathan Mahabharati, the officer who accompanied the Oriental
Negotiation Panel. He was able to survive the bombing of the former UN building
where the meeting had been held only because he’d been in the transport carrier
at that time.
***
SKRANG!!
Veee—
Veee— Veee—
CPU:
Assimilation initiated.
AT:
Surrender, Philippine soldier. You will not be harmed.
Lt.
Herrera: Hello! I am your death. Allow me to kill you now.
AT:
Surrender.
*:
Chinese: Hello, how are you? –JLP
KRAAKK!!
***
Lt.
Herrera’s thought: I wonder how the captive those soldiers rescued is doing…
She must be in really bad shape…
Lt.
Herrera’s thought: Only two kilometers away and I had to encounter trouble!
Lt.
Herrera’s thought: I wanna go home… a little more time, just a little more.
Lt.
Herrera: One louse left.
[The
next five dialogue bubbles came from a Filipino nursery rhyme translated
literally.]
Lt.
Herrera: A straw hut, though small, the plants there…
Lt.
Herrera: … Are of many varieties. Turnips and eggplants,…
Lt.
Herrera: … Winged beans …
Lt.
Herrera: … And…
Lt.
Herrera: … Peanuts…
Lower
right corner of the page: What is that sound? Josh, is that you?
***
AT:
Target is beyond reason… unit will destroy the threat.
AT: MDK
program initiated. Homebase, please reply. [MDK – Murder, Death, Kill
initiative. CCCom explained that the note had been lost during layering.]
Homebase:
You have clearance for MDK unit, AT-01.
Lt.
Herrera’s thought: This is it! You’re done for! [Literal translation:
"Here it comes! The rattan staff is ready to bring down the clay
pot." But this is what was meant.]
Vvashnnn
Lt.
Herrera: Come on out! Let’s finish this!
VOOOOOOMM!!
AT:
Soldier… (Self-destruct mode initiated)
AT: …
You left me with…
AT: …
No choice.
VFZHNNN!
VFZHNNN!!!
Lt.
Herrera: My God!
***
Lt.
Herrera’s thought: They say that your entire life will flash before your eyes
just before you die.
Lt.
Herrera’s thought: How come I don’t see anything? Is it because I’m not afraid
to die or is it because I don’t want to believe that I’m about to die?
Lt.
Herrera’s thought: It’s really stupid to be arrogant in war.
Lt.
Herrera: Thank you, God for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me.
Lt.
Herrera: You are the only one who is able to give and take the life of a
person. I hope that you approve of what I have done.
Lt.
Herrera: Thank you for this life.
Lt.
Herrera: Thank you for this day and for all of your blessings.
Lt.
Herrera: Though I might not have been able to save the captive child, I have
done all that I can. Amen.
***
Box:
Earlier…
KEEEEEESH!
Joanne:
There’s a new dropship coming! Issho! Ling! Where are you?!
BADOOM!
Issho:
We’ve already seen the Amerikan dropship. We’re on our way to the dropzone.
Issho:
You’re all too caught up with chatting with each other. Rajah, how’s the
situation there?
Rajah:
Joanne and I will go and help Raya after we move the child to a safer location.
Child
caption: Subject: Yvette Morales. Daughter of Professor Jonathan Morales from
the Cybertech Research at SOL Research Center.
Rajah:
I already checked her against our population roster and it says here that…
Rajah:
… She’s the daughter of Professor Jonathan Morales. A robotics and cybernetic
researcher at the SOL Research Center.
Rajah:
We can all talk later. You two take care of the incoming AT-01s.
Ling: A
Proto-Solace beat us to it and the pilot’s great!
Ling:
Wow! Hi-tech!
Issho:
Yeah! Enjoy!
Rajah:
Stop it, you two!
Rajah:
And go help out! (Geez!)
***
Box:
Meanwhile, at Raya’s location,
AT:
Hahahahahahahaha!!!
Raya:
It’s too fast!
AT: You
can’t beat me.
AT:
Surrender, warrior!
AT: Is
that all you’ve got? Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Raya: I
can beat you! Just you wait!
Joanne:
Raya, don’t listen to it!
Joanne:
Don’t let it get to you!
AT: So,
you’re name’s Raya, eh? Okay, Raya, come on! Just try and beat me!
AT:
Raya!
AT:
Raya!
Raya:
SHUT UP, ALREADY!!!
Raya:
SHUT UP!
VAOOOMMH!
To be
continued…
Title
of blue panel: We Were There!!!
One Day, Isang Diwa
Story by J.L. Palabay
Art by E.A. Damaso
Chapter
4: S.P.C. !!!
Mikaella:
Classmates, I want you to meet Nanny Grasya.
Mikaella:
And…
Ting!
Tammy:
Good morning, classmates! I’m Tammy Tamaraw and I love you!
Leo:
Just what do you think you’re doing?! Do you want to damage my perfect face?!!
***
Leo:
Why?!? Why does the world seem to be have problem with my existence? Was it my
fault that I was born rich and handsome?
Leo:
Why do you always envy me –
Leo:
I’m a nice guy!!!
SHOOM
Woman:
Mr. Dela Rosa!!!
Woman:
You are making too much noise! You will see me after the flag ceremony!
Leo:
Ma’am! Couldn’t we just talk about this?
Woman:
Mr. Dela Rosa, I am an educator and, as such, I am incorruptible and…
Woman:
My, my, Leo, that looks like a lot of money! Uh… just how much is that?
Leo:
Not too much, ma’am. Would you like me to add some more?
PA
system: Prepare for the Lupang Hinirang! [Philippine national anthem. Literally
means "Chosen Land."]
Woman:
Ahem! I’ll just confiscate this for a while. Everyone, please go to your proper
places.
Leo: ?
***
[The
next five entries are the translated lyrics of the national anthem.]
PA
system: Loving country, pearl of the East…
PA system:
… The flame in our hearts lives in your breast…
PA
system: … Chosen land, cradle of heroes…
PA
system: … Unyielding to invaders…
PA
system: … In the seas and mountains, in the breeze and your blue skies…
Jun’s
thought: …
Jun’s
angel: Ahem! Young man, it looks like you’ve taken quite a liking for Clarissa.
Remember that you’re still young. Chances are, what you’re feeling is nothing
but puppy love!
Jun’s
devil: Puppy love? Jun’s practically undressing Clarissa with his eyes! Right,
Jun? Heheheheheh!!!
***
Jun’s
angel: Why you…! You’re sullying Jun’s mind again! Don’t worry, Jun. I know
that you’re really a good boy.
Diwa:
He’s right! You’re a B.I.!
Jun’s
devil: Beeeehh!!
*: B.I.
– bad influence
[The
next two entries are the translated lyrics of the last two lines of the
national anthem.]
PA
system: If there should be any who would do you harm…
PA
system: … We would gladly die for you.
***
Jun’s
narrative: My first day in school was a blast and I’d adjusted in no time. I
have Clarissa to thank for that and also for introducing me to all of her
friends.
Jun’s
narrative: Ms. Halina Mayumi – a teacher at our school. Most of the male
student population couldn’t help but stare at her whenever she walks by. Not
only is she beautiful, she’s also a cool teacher and nice, to boot.
Jun’s
narrative: Leo’s pretty generous, even though he could be such an airbag at
times. He really DID treat us all to lunch… whether we liked it or not.
Jun’s
narrative: Mikaella’s fun to be with, although she still sometimes acts like a
little kid. She once used Tammy as a seat. Her reason? He’s so nice and
hug-able. I have no idea how Nanny Grasya manages to carry him to school,
though.
Jun’s
narrative: Jedd and Alex. I like talking to them and they also seem to be good
friends with Clarissa. There are times, though, when Jedd suddenly lapses into
silence. How come he only recently became cheerful?
***
Box:
That afternoon…
Voice:
Jun, old buddy!
Guy:
How’re ya, man? How’s your first day?
Guy:
Oh, by the way, do you know where section Sierra is?
Jun and
Diwa: Benjo.
Jun:
You ALSO belong to section Sierra? You mean we’re gonna be classmates?
Benjo:
Really, man? That’s great! That means that I’ll no longer have a problem with
my schedule!
Jun:
Waitaminute. How come you’re so late?
Benjo:
There’s this new game at the arcade, y’see…. The interface’s great! It’s
incredible! The bomb, man!
Benjo:
Uh, d’you think you could lend some money? I didn’t realize that I’ve already
used up my allowance for this week.
***
Box:
Hands coming from the darkness!
Jun:
Mmphhh…
Benjo:
Arf! Arf!
Voice:
Get ‘em in here! Hurry!
Skritch
SPLAG!
Clarissa:
Later, guys! I’ll go on to the waiting shed. [public utility vehicles’ stop]
Alex:
Hey, why don’t we just wait for Leo? He can give us all a ride home!
Jedd:
Go on ahead, Clarissa. I’ll just help Alex with these books.
***
Benjo:
It wasn’t me! Lemme go!
Benjo:
I’m innocent!
Benjo:
I’m sorry, okay?! I didn’t know someone was still gonna eat it!
Guy 1:
Shut up!!!
Benjo:
And I only found that wallet!
Voice:
SHUT UP!
Sampal!!!
[Slap!!!]
Guy 2:
Jun Morales! Who are you and what do you want with Clarissa?
Tok!
Guy 3:
Stupid, we already know who he is!
Benjo:
Son of a… that hurt!
Voice
1: Do you have a crush on her? You’ve got some nerve!
Voice
2: Do you plan to court her?
Voice
3: What right have you to do so? Are you rich like Leo? Could you defend her,
like Jedd?
Jun:
Just who are you guys?
Voice
4: Fine. Take off the blindfolds, guys.
***
Guy 1:
We are the light that stands guard in the darkness…
Guy 2:
The ones who eliminate those who wish to interfere with the future of our
goddess…
Guy 3:
The destroyers of liars, charlatans, and all those who would claim her…
Guy 4:
We live only to serve her.
Guy 5:
We are the…
Guy 2:
…S…
Guy 3:
…P…
Guy 4:
…C…
SHOOM
Guy 1:
Samahan Para kay Clarissa [Society for Clarissa]
Guy 1:
We actually made a cameo appearance in issue 2. Thanks very much. Back to you,
Mike!
Benjo,
Jun and Diwa: You’re right…
***
Memer:
James, I think you forgot to include Benjo’s name in the first issue.
James:
I, uh… didn’t! It’s with the writing… to add suspense! Y’know, character
build-up…
Benjo:
It’s great! Is that what you’d call a foreshadowing device?
Jun:
Right, Benjo. That one’s a perfect example.
Diwa:
Our writer’s great, isn’t he?
Memer:
Oh, really?
James:
It seems as though you don’t want to get paid today… ahem!
Memer:
Yeheeey!!! Boss, you’re really great!!! Cool!!!
Box:
Meanwhile…
Driver:
Huh?
Driver:
We’ve lost our brakes!!!
SKRTCH
To be
continued…
CCCom Holiday Special
Concept and Art by: The CCCom
Staff
Note:
Please don’t sue us. The characters you will see here are not who they appear
to be. Plus… we don’t have any money. ^_^’
Airee:
Hmmm…
Jedd’s
thought: Who’s that peeking behind the curtains?
Leo: …
And you… you can put those gifts over there… be careful! They’re expensive!
Jun:
Tammy… don’t fall over…
Benjo:
These drums are sure nice!
Poppy:
You two guard this area…
Diwa:
Jun! They’re here!
Jun:
What?! But we’re not ready yet…
Diwa:
But it’s already January! Aren’t you coming down from there yet?
Jun:
Ok, so how come you’re still wearing a Santa suit?
Blag!!!
Blag!! Blagg!!
Clarissa,
Alex and Leo: ?!?
***
SKLABAGG
Voice:
Don’t forget about us!
Mina:
The party wouldn’t be complete without cake!
Jedd:
Ahh… ok. So it’s a cake.
Alex:
Why does it smell like gunpowder?
Benjo:
I thought it was shit.
Leo:
Woman, I was almost hospitalized by your cooking before!
Dante:
Mina, where’re we supposed to put the food?
Voice
1: Alright! Dante cooked our food!
Voice
2: That’s a relief… Mina always puts MSG [monosodium glutamate] in her cooking.
Benjo:
Heh, heh. Shit.
Voice
3: Did you call me?
Voice
4: What’s that green stuff? Chinese cabbage?
Voice
5: Nope. Swamp cabbage.
Voice
6: At least we have candles in case the power goes out.
Voice
7: It’s like someone opened a pack of Humpty Dumpty in a bus… [A really smelly
brand of corn chips.]
SPLORKKK
Mina:
AAAAAHHHH!!!
POOM!
POOM! POOM! POOM! POOM! POOM! POOM! POOM! KA-BOOM!!!
Caption:
Counter terrorists win!
***
Guard:
Sir, someone’s going amok in here. What’re your orders?
Poppy:
That’s not important! Just keep an eye on the gifts…
Guard:
Ummm… sir…
Guard:
Santa Claus came and took the gifts.
Poppy:
What?!?
HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!!
HEEE-HEE-HEE!!!
Jun:
Huhuhu… Clarissa, save me!
Butler:
Wow, Polaris! I didn’t know that you’d look good with a nose!
Polaris:
P*#@H.
Polaris:
Shut up.
Polaris:
How about I butt you with these horns!
Poppy:
Judas! Hestas! Barabas! [A popular swear phrase.] Ubas! [Grapes!] Bayabas!
[Guava!] And anything else with –as!
Poppy:
Santa gives, he doesn’t take!
***
Jo:
Hey, bro, how come you only gave me a Bauldly? [A brand of Tamiya-imitation
cars.]
Len:
YOU gave me a Hothotai! [Another such brands.]
Bunny:
Did you see my Mamonluk? [A local Chinese fastfood chain.]
Ewika:
Did you see my Wichard?
Mojoki:
Poja! Poja!! I’m not a Kokemon, okay? Quit it! Poja!
Doremifasol:
Go on, catch him! He stole my timeslot!
Clarissa:
KEEP QUIET!!!
Clarissa:
Ahem!
Clarissa:
I would like to introduce the idols of many…. The people who changed the comic
industry…
Clarissa:
The CCCom Fighters!!!
Voice
1: ?
Voice
2: Who?
Voice
3: Give us back our money!
Voice
4: What’s with the pail?
Ewika:
Oooohhh, I thought it was Wichard…
Benjo:
What’s that? Shit?
Voice
5: Heeeyyy! The food’s here!
Voice
6: Oh, yuck! I don’t want to eat something Mina cooked!
Voice
7: It’s a good thing Bellydundy’s the one cooking at home.
HWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
***
Reiyanami:
Hello? Hellooo…
Natsugi:
Are you gonna eat that?
Hiai: I
don’t think I want to! It might be Mina’s cooking…
Yamchay:
Hey! Veggie, Tenshingham! Is that your kid eating at the table? Does Bluma know
about this?
Veggie:
Eherm!!!
Hiai:
What did…
Veggie:
… You say?
KASHMMMM!!!
Tagutago:
Heujene! Our fight’s not over! I only used 1% of my power!
Leo: A…
e… that’s okay! Here! This is just 1% of my allowance. Maybe we can talk about
this… Hehehehe…
Mina:
Aha!!! Mr. Double Dollars!!! I didn’t expect to find you here! Perfect timing!
The peso-exchange is at its peak!
Ateman,
Poppy, Mina, JIO, Defective Zenigata, and Battle Angel Akita: You’re done
for!!!
***
Duo
cosplayer: Hiiroh! How’re ya?
Hiiroh:
I will kill you.
Hotohori
cosplayer: Look, it’s Hiiroh!
Misato
cosplayer: Hi, Hiiroh!
Hiiroh:
I will kill you.
Bad
Badtz Maru: …
Hiiroh:
I will kill you.
Hinaygata:
Ahahay! Hiiroh! Just my type of man!
Krak!!!
IQ 40:
Reiyanami! I’m over here!
E: …
Kiy: …
Reiyanami:
…
Ayu: …
Jedd: …
Dante:
…
Memer
II: …
Chikachu:
Chika-chuu!
Taga-Ilog:
Melo…
Da
Bhoss: Atrash…
HUUUUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Poppy:
Do you think you could still cook this for the party? [Asucena – a dish made
from dog meat.]
Guard
1: That thing’s easy to clean, sir.
Guard
2: I wonder if that Hiiroh had something to do with this. He’s been threatening
people all night.
Taga-Ilog:
Memer, how come Reiyanami’s bandage is over the wrong eye?
Memer:
Huh? A… e… I thought we needed the flipped version! Ehehe!!!
***
Arrow:
This isn’t a star or the sun!
Tamahumi:
Miyaka… why did you prioritize eating…
Kinshin:
Look!!! Something’s coming!!!
Freezena:
Ha?!
Radish:
I can feel an unbelievable force! Battle power 2,003,682!!!
Kid:
Isn’t he already dead?
WHRAAAMMM!!!
Raya: I
have great news!!! We should all go to the rooftop!
Da
Bhoss: CCCom will… survive…
Taga-Ilog:
Atrash… I… won’t… leave… you…
Raya:
You shouldn’t miss this!!! Come and join the fun!!! Hahahahahah!!!
***
Raya:
Fireworks squad, prepare the fireworks!
Memer:
Taga-Ilog, didn’t that use to be a full moon?
Taga-Ilog:
No, there’s a lunar eclipse. No, that’s not right… Pikulo’s aim was off.
Caption:
1:1 Ewangelion Master Grade model kit by Boombai.
AT:
Agent has complied.
AT:
Operation: Fireworks commencing.
AT:
Launch missile barrage in 3… 2… 1…
Fweeeee
Fweeeee Fweeeee
Kaori:
Didn’t I see this is "End of Ewangelion?"
Mikoshi:
Wow! Those robots are so cute!
Ka-BOOM!
I can
stay awake… Just to hear you breathing…
Panda:
Ouch.
Raya:
Ehehe… oops.
Nakajema:
W-who’s singing?
… Don’t
wanna close my eyes… Don’t wanna fall asleep… ‘Cos I don’t wanna miss a thing…
CC
COM GRAFFITI:
[Selected
text only]
Sheryl
Dela Cruz
Joanah
Rose Tinio
Kenny
Ilagan
Riya
FAN
MANGA:
[Only
those with Filipino text]
Bogchi
& Boinic
Story
and Art by Eumir Peralta (Quezon City)
Commentary:
IQ 40 / Memer
·
I find this comic very
funny and entertaining. Funny, because Bionic never grew fat even though she
seems to have a monstrous appetite (as in 12-foot Final Fantasy Bosses!!!). Entertaining,
because I also want to roll around on the grass while eating popcorn… I envy
them! But seriously, this shows a lot of potential!!! Hmm… Isn’t that Laura and
Jedd?
ZH-[?] We don’t know the
title!
Story and Art by Ermalyn
Fuentes [Sampaloc, Manila]
·
Sniff, sniff. The
touching story is reminiscent of the tragic love stories in manga and animé.
With CLAMP-style art! By the way, Ermalyn, what’s the title? Mer and Taga-Ilog
said that it was "ZH-". Were they right? Your art style’s great and
it could also get better! The story’s also great, but next time, don’t forget
the title, okay?
Da
Bhoss: Oi! Mer, Ilog, Jio! Hurry it up with the comics, or else…. There are a
lot of people who could take your place! And get me my soap!
Da
Bhoss: Where’s my rubber ducky?
Comics:
Jio:
A serving of sub-atomic sago before Counterstrike! [Sago: a popular local drink
made of fruit juice or dairy drinks blended with crushed ice and poured over
warm, black yam-and-tapioca balls or ‘pearls,’ as they are known here, hence
the name "Pearl Shakes."]
LETTERS
TO THE STAFF:
[Fragments
only and those which are totally in Filipino.]
Di
Ferrer’s letter: [First two paragraphs]
Just wanna say: Hey! Great work!
I got your third issue and I’m kinda sad right now ‘coz I didn’t get the first
and second issues. But hey, can I make a request? Could you please sell me
copies here in Cagayan de Oro (at National Bookstore, of course! Where else?)
after you reprint them? Especially the first two issues. I’m a really, really,
REALLY big animé fanatic! That’s why I got so excited when I heard that Culture
Crash was coming out (from "Extra! Extra!") and I wanted to get a
copy immediately. Unfortunately, I had to buy it in Manila because it wasn’t
available here.
I must say, I’m really impressed
with you guys. You’re unbelievably great! At first, I thought it came from
Japan, but it turned out to be Philippine made! I really like "One Day,
Isang Diwa" and "Cat’s Trail." Jedd from O.D.I.D. is really
something. I mean, he’s so… cute! But something really confuses me: Is Jun the
main character or is it Jedd? You get what I mean? I mean, Jedd gets some kind
of superpower and Jun only gets Diwa? Cat’s Trail is hilarious (well, that’s
what I think anyway). I mean, I couldn’t stop laughing at their expressions.
Eiji
Shinjo’s letter:
85 bucks? Why not guys? I mean,
it’s affordable for me even though I’m a student. Come to think of it, with the
quality we are getting, it would seem that you’re the ones who are getting
short-changed (mwa-ha-ha-ha!!!). Just kidding! I don’t think we’d experience a
third impact if you do it, so go ahead and good luck!!!
Pon’s
letter:
Hi CC Com staff!
48 pages for comics… it used to
be 40, right? More, please! If I’m going to be paying Php 85, I would
appreciate it more if the developments in the stories would be more
substantial.
Actually, I’m more willing to
pay Php 100-150 if it’s only going to come out every two or three months.
I’m new to comic collecting… the
only ones that I have are Arnold Arre’s Mythology Class, Beerkada, and Pugad
Baboy. I used to collect Funny comics when I was a kid. I think the main reason
why I buy the comics is because it’s made by Filipinos and you guys are really
brave pioneers in this concept… so we have to show our support! It would be a
good way to revive our comic industry. There’re truly a lot of talented
Filipinos unfortunately most of them work for foreign comics or in animation.
Too bad there aren’t any local suppliers of the materials you use… they would
have been a big help. People really don’t expect the economy to improve anytime
soon. Hopefully, people will still want to read manga because they want to
cheer up.
Culture
Crash™, Solstice Butterfly™, One Day, Isang Diwa™, PASIG™, Cat’s Trail™ and the
other names, logos and all related characters in this translation are ™ and ©
2001 Culture Crash Comics/J. C. Palabay Ent., Inc. and their respective owners.