English
Translation of Culture Crash Comics Vol. 1 Issue No. 2
By
Theresa Dy Lising
Translator’s
note:
[ ]
–> Culture notes/Translations
***
–> Page breaks/Separators
One Day, Isang Diwa
Story by J.L. Palabay
Art by E.A. Damaso
Diwa: I
can’t believe you, Jun! You just had breakfast, and here you are stuffing your
face again!
Jun:
It’s just a sandwich!
Diwa: You’ll
be late for school!
Jun:
This’ll only take a sec. Besides, it’s only registration day.
Jun:
Clarissa!!!
SU-BO!
[put inside the mouth]
Diwa:
Oh, you pig!
nga-sab
nga-sab nga-sab nga-sab nga-sab nga-sab… [chew chew chew chew chew chew]
THUBTHUBTHUBTHUBTHUBTHUBTHUBTHUB…
Jun:
What’ll I say? "Clarissa, what a coincidence! How about we go to school
together? Wait...
Jun:
That sounds really lame! Maybe… "Morning, Clarissa. Going to school? Maybe
we could go together."…
Jun:
…No! I got it! I should…
Clarissa:
Huh? Jun?
***
Clarissa:
Hey, Jun!!! What’s the hush? It’s still early!
Diwa:
He-heh! You just passed by the person you were waiting for! Be true to
yourself, brother! [Just like in the local Sprite® commercial]
Jun:
Mmrppphh… mrmrmrmpphh… rmphh… mpfff…
LUNOK!
[swallow]
Jun:
A-hahahahah!!! Clarissa, what a pleasant surprise. Is it still early? My watch
must be running fast.
Diwa:
You didn’t even tell me that you were waiting for somebody.
Clarissa:
Sigh! You know, it would be a good idea if you just go with me, like the last
time.
Jun:
Eheheh! Thanks again.
Jun:
Clarissa is so nice.
Clarissa:
Ummm… But you better wipe your face first or some chicken might go after you.
[Chickens are common pets even in the city.]
***
Jun: That
was sure embarrassing. Later, I should…
Jun:
Yeah, that’s it!
Clarissa:
Jun? Aren’t you getting off?
Diwa:
Sigh… another strike for my boy.
Jun and
Diwa: Hmmmm…
Girl:
Hi, Clarissa!!! How are you?
Clarissa:
Hey, Alex! I’m OK! How ‘bout you?!?
Alex:
I’m fine! Vacation was a little short, but I’m so excited now that we’re in
third year.
Clarissa:
Oh, I almost forgot. Jun… this is Alex. Alex… Jun.
***
Voice:
How are you, Jun…
Guy: I
am Leonardo Jardin dela Rosa. I am the most handsome creature in this world.
Guy:
That’s why I am the only person who’s worthy of being Clarissa’s match.
Leo: I
am also the richest guy in this school.
Leo:
You are pleased to make my acquaintance.
WHOOOSH!
WAKKA-WAKKA!
WAKKA-WAKKA!
Girl:
Leo, chancing upon a serpent in the heart of utopia is an occurrence that
should not be cause for revelry.
Girl: I
would prefer to venture into the heart of a blazing inferno.
Girl:
What do you think, girls?
Leo:
What did you say?!? Do you actually think that I didn’t understand what you
said?! Go ahead, repeat it!
Girl:
Leo, if you truly comprehended my sardonic prose, why would you wish for me to
repeat it?
Clarissa:
Ha-ha! Laura, you’re too much…
***
Clarissa:
Oh, yeah. Jun, this is Jedd. I used to be his next door neighbor. Jedd, this is
Jun. He’s new around here and we live in the same village [subdivision].
Leo:
Sardonic? What’s that?
Jedd:
You can call me Jedd. Welcome to Macopa High.
Jun:
Uhhh… thanks.
Diwa:
Wow!!!
Cha-ching!!
Diwa:
What a babe!!!
Diwa:
At last…
mwah!
mwah!
Diwa:
I’ve finally found…
mwah!
mwah!
Diwa: …
my…
Diwa:
Prince Charming!
Jedd:
Are you gonna be our classmate?
Jun: A…
e… yeah!
Alex:
Looks like our class is gonna be a lotta fun!
***
Laura:
Yeah! Too bad Leo’s still around.
Leo:
What did you say?!?
Laura:
Why, Leo. Don’t tell me you once again failed to understand what I said. You’re
really weak in the head.
BWONG!
Leo:
I’ve just about had enough of you! Why don’t we just settle this mano y mano?!
[fistfight]
Leo:
Wait. I have to call my Dad’s security guys.
Jedd:
You just challenged a girl and you’re not even gonna fight yourself? [Filipino
culture places special emphasis on respect for women. In arguments, it is
customary for men to give way to women, although this is a rapidly dwindling
practice. It is also considered improper for men to get into fights with women,
least of all fistfights.]
Leo:
What?!! Have you gone crazy?!
Leo:
First of all, this isn’t a girl, ok? Any normal girl would admire me in some
way. Secondly…
Laura:
Hmp!
Leo: … I
have to take care of my perfect face.
Leo:
Isn’t that right?
***
Clarissa:
You’re really something, Leo. You won’t even back down from a girl.
Leo:
You’ve got it all wrong, Clarissa. I was just kidding. I’ll have you know that
I have the utmost respect for women.
Leo:
That’s just the way I am… a kidder.
Laura:
Oh… really?
Leo:
And to prove that I’m a nice guy, I’m treating everybody to lunch.
Leo:
And that’s not all. I’ll also…
Arrow:
Something big!
SKRAKAAAK!
***
Girl:
Oh my! Were you hurt?
Girl:
Tammy?
Leo:
Well, excuse me! I was the one who got hurt! Hello!!!
Girl:
Oh, yeah. Sorry, ok?
Clarissa:
You’re Mikaella Chan, right?
Mikaella:
Uh-huh. How’d you know?
Clarissa:
You and Tammy are quite famous around these parts!
Mikaella:
Oh, really?
***
Laura:
I’m Laura.
Clarissa:
And I’m Clarissa.
Alex:
Alex.
Jun:
Jun.
Jedd:
Jedd.
WHISHH!
Leo:
And I am the most handso—
Laura:
He’s Leo.
***
Jun:
Hmmm…
Box:
What will happen in the next issue? Why were there many typos in the last issue?
Why was there no ‘H’ in ‘New Technology’ in last issue’s cover? Would fishball
taste good with bagoong [sauce made from fish, shrimp, or other seafood often
with a very foul odor and color ranging from light old rose to the color of
dried blood]? Is it true that Chippy [a local brand of tortilla chips cut into
½ by 1-inch strips] would taste good as a sandwich filling? And just how heavy
is Tammy? To be continued!
PASIG – Chapter 2: Heart of a
Warrior
Story and Art by Taga-Ilog
Co-plotter and color assists:
J.L. Palabay
Guy 1:
You’re life ends here, old man!
SHIIING
HAH
Guy 2:
You wish! [The literal translation is ‘your fart.’ But this is what was
actually meant.]
Narrative:
Sabong. [Cockfight]
Narrative:
One of the most popular sports in the Philippines. A decade has already passed
and it’s long since been banned from the major cities. But here in Pasig,
people do not acknowledge any form of government…
Guy 3:
Place your bets!
***
Narrative:
People will participate as long as there’s money to be gained, even if the
price they pay for their folly is their very lives…. That’s how cheap people’s
lives are in cities like this one. Come to think of it, the price of chicken
has been pretty high of late. I still can’t believe they used to use them for
this kind of sport several centuries ago.
SHOOOO—
Guy:
You’re too slow!
Narrative:
Wait a minute… I know that guy!
***
Narrative:
Lando Ramirez, my former suitor…
SLASH
Narrative:
He’s already won… I think I’d better leave before he…
Narrative:
…sees me!
Lando:
Mina!
Mina:
Oh, great.
Guy:
Hey, get back in there! The fight’s not over!
Lando:
How are you?! I haven’t seen you in five years! Just where in hell did you run
off to?
Mina:
Um… ah, y’see… um…
***
Guy:
HEY! Son of a…! Come back here! Our fight’s not over!!!
HFF HFF
HFF
Lando:
You should be thankful that I saw Mina… I’ll slit you throat some other time!
PWE
Guy: …
Mina:
You’re still a sabungero [cockfighter]. You haven’t changed. I think you
should’ve finished the fight before you left.
Lando:
I didn’t know you liked sabong.
Mina: I
don’t. I just waited until the rain stopped. I’m actually on my way home. I
wonder how Mom and Dad are doing.
***
Lando:
Good timing. I’ll accompany you home. I’m leaving anyway.
Mina: I
sure hope that you no longer have plans on courting me.
Lando:
Even if I wanted to, I can’t. The Mrs. wouldn’t like it
Mina:
Really?! It’s a good thing someone actually took pity on you. I thought you
were gonna be a bachelor all your life.
Lando:
Stupid.
PAT PAT
***
Mina: Hmm…
how’d the river get this far?
Lando:
They widened the Pasig River to facilitate the transport of signo to the
different parts of the country. I think they want to put up another mine here
in Pinagbuhatan.
Mina:
Oh, I see.
Hooowwww
Ting
Ding Ding Ding
Whooooo
Lando’s
Narrative: I’m planning on quitting sabong and becoming a miner instead. I’m
always making my wife worry when I come home wounded.
Mina:
That’s a good idea.
Note:
Signo (Pasignum 304) – a newly discovered element that is found only in the island
of Luzon. The richest concentration of this is found in Pasig which is why the
people have made this their primary source of income.
***
Cats:
Meowr, meowr.
PRRR…
Guy:
Hey, Mer. I think you should get someone to fix this thing.
Lando:
What do plan to do now, Mina? I heard that you didn’t even tell your parents
when you left home to be a bounty hunter and you just ran off to who knows
where.
Mina: I
haven’t got a clue as to what they’re gonna say when I come home. What the
heck. The important thing is that I finish my mission here in Pasig. Maybe I’ll
return to Bataan afterwards.
Lando:
Huh? Don’t you have any plans on settling down here? How’re you gonna find a
husband and get married if you keep moving from place to place?
Mina:
Hah! Dream on!!!
Guy: Man,
it’s already checkmate!
***
Voice
1: Papa! Papa!
Voice
2: Miguel!
ARF ARF
ARF
Lando’s
wife: I’m glad you’re home.
Kid:
Papa! Papa!
Kid:
You lost again, didn’t ya?
Lando:
Ow!
Lando:
Mina, I would like you to join us for dinner before you go home.
Lando’s
wife: Yes, please join us.
Kid: I
want the bang-bang!
Mina:
Thanks. Maybe some other time. I really have to get home. Farewell!
***
Narrative:
Sometimes I envy Lando… it’s rare that a person has complete control over his
life. I myself had to disobey my own parents’ wishes just to have my way.
Narrative:
A rebellious daughter.
Narrative:
But despite all that, I have to take on the responsibility of what I’ve done. I
am the one who chose my fate and I also have to be the one to bear the
consequences of my actions.
TOK TOK
TOK
Mina:
D-Dad, I’m sorry.
***
Dante:
What is it?!?
Kid:
Dante, is she your girlfriend? [Filipinos call their elder brother ‘Kuya.’
Unfortunately, there is no way to express this in English without making it
sound like one’s referring to a priest or a monk.]
Mina:
!?!
Mina:
Wh-what’s he doing here?
To
be continued…
Cat’s Trail
Story and Art by: E.A. Damaso
Episode
2: Journey
Narrator:
After an arduous journey and a long cat-and-mouse chase between Airee and
Sheriff Poppy (wherein the Sheriff once again failed to capture them… tsk!…
tsk! What a failure! [Literal translation: because he’s weak.]), our heroes
finally arrived at Manira – one of the most prosperous cities and a center for
commerce…
Airee:
Yes! We’re finally in Manira!
Cat:
What would be a good way to cook squid?
Kitten:
How much is this?…
Polaris:
Good grief! Stop acting so innocent! You’d better get your act together or we
just might find ourselves in trouble.
Airee:
Nya-ha-ha-hah!!! I’m sure there are lotsa rich people around… more victims for
me.
SPLAG!
Airee:
Hu… hu… hu…
Polaris:
I know what you’re thinking and you can forget it! You might get us caught.
Polaris:
I’m bringing our Big Maya [sparrow] to the feeding station.
Big
Maya: kwee!!!
Polaris:
Come on! Don’t tell me you’re gonna go sightseeing…
***
Airee:
Okay! You go on ahead…
Airee:
I’ll go look around first!
Polaris:
Hey, wait! How’re you gonna find me?
Airee:
That’s easy!!! You know me!
Airee:
Later!!!
Polaris:
Do what you want.
Polaris:
Hmph!
Kitten:
Mom, aren’t we having tinolang manok [chicken in light broth] later?
Cat
mom: Hee-hee! You silly.
Narrator:
Meanwhile…
Grocer:
Oi! Here’s your order!
Guy:
Thanks. Here’s the money.
Guy:
Ouch! This is so heavy!
***
Airee:
Haaa! It’s so nice here! Lotsa people, lotsa things to buy, lotsa things to
steal…
Airee:
!
Airee
box: …A victim!
Airee
box: And he looks rich!…
Airee
box: Hehehehheheheheh!!! This must be my lucky day… heaven sent! There’re so
many people, no one’s bound to notice…
Cat: Nge!
That woman just shrunk!
Guy:
Huh?
Airee:
I’ll cut him off at the next alley…
fap fap
fap fap
Airee:
Wait for me, rich guy!
***
Airee:
There!
Airee:
Gotcha!
Guy:
Huh?!…
Airee:
Ulk!
***
Guy:
Ummm…
sproing!
Airee:
A spring? I’m dead!
Airee:
E-he-he! It looks like your bag got caught in my hand!
Airee:
Sorry ‘bout that! Bye!
Guy:
Miss, it’s not nice to steal.
Airee:
I know that! Later!
Guy:
Wait!
fap!
Airee:
Akk!
Airee:
Huh?!
Airee:
He caught me?
Airee:
No one’s ever done that before!
***
Guy: You’re
beautiful…
Airee:
Wh-what?
Guy:
You’re beautiful!
Airee:
Nyah! What are you? A maniac?
Guy:
Ha-ha!!! No!
Guy: I
was just mesmerized by your beauty.
Airee:
You gotta be kidding! You’re not my type! I don’t like someone who looks lame!
Airee:
I also don’t want you to turn me over to the cops…
TAKATAKATOK-TAKATAKATOKTOK-TAKATAKATOK
***
Airee:
Bank… of… Manira…?
Airee:
Bye! Lame-o!!!
Guy:
Hey! Wait!
Guy:
She’s gonna get in trouble…
Airee:
Nyah-hah-hah-hah!!!
TAKATAKATOK-TAKATAKATOKTAOK-TA
TAK
TOKTOK
Airee:
I’ll finally be able to use my instant saw!
WE TAKE
GOOD CARE OF PUTI [WHITEE], A HEALTHY COW, A WHITE COW… [Could not be
translated otherwise.]
***
Airee:
…And let go!
Airee:
Ha-ha…
Airee:
…ha?
Guard:
You’re under arrest, miss. [Literal translation: ‘let’s go to the side, miss.’
But this is what’s usually said to avoid causing a scene.]
Airee:
Maybe we could talk this over…
Voice:
Duck!!!
Guard:
Huh?
SKWEEEE*
SPLAGADOG!
Guy:
C’mon! Hurry!!!
TAKBOTAKBOTAKBOTAKBOTAKBOTAKBOTAKBO
[RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN]
***
Narrator:
After a long run…
Guy:
Ouch!
Polaris:
I’ll take it from here, kid.
Airee:
Polaris!!!
Polaris:
We have to get outta here again, don’t we?
Airee:
Yup. Thanks and later, lame-o!
Guy:
No…
Vrooom!
Guy: My
name is Butler, and this isn’t our last meeting…
beep-beep!
Butler:
I’ll follow you…
To
be continued…
Solstice Butterfly
Created by Jerard Felix Beltran
Chapter
1:2 The Present
Prelude
to a War: The countries of the world before the war
The association within which all
of the countries belong to is known as the Gaia-Unis. The member countries
include the Unis Amerikas, the Regent Orients, the European Union, and the
United Afro-Arabia. The countries of Mars Stina and Mars Costina belong to the
Martian Federal Colonies – these were the two colonies that Gaia-Unis neglected
due to its distance from the Earth. The NeoGeo Gaiasphere, on the other hand,
is a Lunar Research Colony that served as a prototype for the Cosmo Colonies.
The Gaia-Unis and the Martian
Federal Colonies formed the Inner-Ring Federation whose goal is to colonize the
entire solar system. The AsDeS or Asteroid Deflection Systems was created and
launched into the Martian orbit in order to keep wayward comets and asteroid
from striking the Earth. But the Martians had other plans for the AsDeS.
The Martian Federal Colonies
used the AsDeS to attack the Earth. The system controlled over a hundred
asteroids and hurled them into the territories of the Gaia-Unis member
countries.
This marked the onset of the Red
Wars – the battle between the Earth and Mars. In this conflict, the Unis
Amerikan Construction Mechas proved that they were not only efficient in
creating infrastructures – they were also efficient in destroying them. The war
was over within only a few years.
Because of their staggering
defeat, the Martians had no other choice but to surrender and yield once again
to the authority of the Gaia-Unis. Many of the Earth’s inhabitants believed
that the Martians would not surrender without pulling a reckless stunt – and
they were right. The head of the Martian Federal Colonies went insane and took
over Mars Costina, the Martian Orbital Colony, sending it on a collision course
with the Earth in an attempt to eradicate its inhabitants. The Gaia-Unis
commandeered the facilities of the NeoGeo Gaiasphere Colony and created a
shield against the approaching Martian Orbital Colony… (To be continued…)
***
AT:
Homebase, I have a prisoner. Wait for my return.
Homebase:
Roger, Unit 628. The neurochamber will be on standby for the new host.
Girl:
ngh*
AT:
Have the medical mech ready. Her wounds are lethal.
Homebase:
Roger, Unit 628. Have her here in ten minutes. Homebase, out.
***
Homebase:
Unit 628, this is homebase. Three solstice units are heading in your direction…
AT:
Yes, homebase.
Homebase:
Expect a missile salvo for detonation coming your way. Guard the prisoner.
AT:
Yes, homebase…
AT
warning: Missile salvo impact at four… three… two…
AT: …
The prisoner will be safe…
KEEEESH!!
KEEEESH!! KEEEESH!!
***
WHAKOOM!!
AT:
Forcefield integrity at 11%. Processing systems are compromised at 80%
effectivity… systems shutdown in twenty seconds and counting…
AT:
…16… 15…
AT: The
prisoner is still safe. Processing system data… 90% complete… 12… 11…
Rajah: You’re
right, lieutenant. It’s a new AT-01 unit.
***
[2 page
spread]
Rajah:
Raya…
Rajah:
… the kid’s still alive!
Joanne:
That’s strange… why’s it taking so much care of its captive?
AT:
Cease your attack, Philippine soldiers!
AT: If
you want to fight, first allow me to transfer this child to a secure location.
Raya:
Go ahead, put down the child and prepare to surrender.
Raya
box: You know that we outnumber you so you’d better give up.
AT box:
I am not permitted to surrender! I will make you suffer before you capture me!
KHSHHK*
VREEEEEEEEEEE*
AT:
This child is mine. Let’s finish this.
***
AT:
Let’s start!
FASH!
SHKEEEEEEEEE!
Raya:
That thing’s mine!
Raya:
Wha—!?
VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
Raya:
Where’s he?
Raya:
Where are you!!
***
Raya:
Where’re…
FAHHH!!
Raya: There!!
***
SKRIITTT!!
K-CHAKK!
Raya:
Take this!!
To
be continued…
COMICS:
Taga-Ilog
on How We Draw…
Before anything else, I would
like to thank everyone who bought our first issue… we never expected such a
warm welcome for our comics… thanks again.
Okay, okay… before we start
crying and stuff, let’s first talk about some things with regards to
illustrating… (if you would notice, the title of this article is "How We
Draw," not "How to Draw" because we aren’t really teachers and
can’t really teach stuff that we ourselves have no knowledge of).
Anyway, let’s look at how E.A.
Damaso (Cat’s Trail & One Day, Isang Diwa) made the illustrations on the
left…
1.
You might have seen the
technique Memer used in illustrating faces in some art books. He starts by drawing
a slightly elongated circle with a cross that separates it into four regions.
He then illustrates the eyes on the horizontal line with a distance between
them that is approximately 1½ the size of the eyes. The noses in manga-style
art are smaller than those in traditional illustrations. The size of the nose
varies depending on the angle and the character designs, although they usually
have a width that is half the size of that of the eyes. The mouth is also quite
unusual in mangas. There is no ‘correct’ way or size when it comes to the
mouth. This usually depends on the expression of the character. This could be
as small as a dot or as big as the character’s entire face. This is a good
aspect to experiment with in order to give the character a lot of moods.
2.
After drawing the eyes,
he starts putting in the details like the sparkle/reflection of light in the
eyes (note: the light should have a similar point of origin, which’s why both
eyes look the same). Like the mouth, a character’s hair also doesn’t follow any
‘correct’ style. It could be as wild as that of the super saiyans or as
conservative as Clarissa’s.
3.
In inking, you just
follow what you’ve already drawn and add more details. At this point, it would
be a good idea to use lines of varying thickness. Memer uses felt tip pens to
achieve this, but he prefers to use C5 speedball and Croquill dip pens… (but in
truth, no matter how beautiful his pencil drawings are, he never follows them…
I don’t know why he wastes his blue pencils… tsk, tsk, tsk, so kids, don’t
follow his example! Heh, heh, just kidding, Mer.)
4.
After inking and erasing
the unnecessary lines (Memer doesn’t bother erasing his pencils because he
usually feels too lazy to do so), the drawing is scanned into the computer.
5.
We use Photoshop 5.5 to color
and clean up the illustration. Memer starts with the base colors and he prefers
to call these ‘flats.’
6.
The last step is to add
the shading and some special effects.
Taga-Ilog:
We hope that were able to help you guys out with our tips… until next time…
bye!
* - I don’t know why Clarissa’s image suddenly became
sideview; that’s just how Memer draws.
- IQ 40 and his loyal sidekick Memer the 2nd.
Nothing, really.
LETTERS
TO THE STAFF:
[Fragments
only and those which are totally in Filipino.]
P.S.
on Christine C. Rivero’s letter:
* I
couldn’t send the survey because I didn’t want to lose the art on the back
cover.
Ernesto
M. Calvento’s letter:
Hello! I saw some copies of
Culture Crash in Comic Alley. I bought one out of curiosity. It said that you have
a sort of raffle or contest and I wanted to ask if it’s still ongoing. I don’t
know if I’m blind or something, but I don’t recall seeing a staff list… does
that mean that there are only four of you? That’s all and thanks a lot!
Reply
to Ernesto M. Calvento’s letter:
This was actually the first
e-mail we got so we decided to leave it unedited! Ernesto, m’boy, you are such
a polite kid. Thanks very much for your letter. All of the raffle entries must
be in by October 15, 2000. Are there only four of us? Let’s see… 1… 2… 3… I
don’t think so! But there are only four of us, more or less. Uh, wait, 1… 2….
Culture
Crash™, Solstice Butterfly™, One Day, Isang Diwa™, PASIG™, Cat’s Trail™ and the
other names, logos and all related characters in this translation are ™ and ©
2000 Culture Crash Comics/J. C. Palabay Ent., Inc. and their respective owners.