English
Translation of Culture Crash Comics Vol. 1 Issue No. 1
By
Theresa Dy Lising
Translator’s
note:
[ ]
–> Culture notes/Translations
***
–> Page breaks/Separators
Editor’s
Page:
Taga-Ilog’s
Dedication:
To my beloved parents and
siblings, to my friends, to the believers and non-believers, to Joanah, my
inspiration (just ask her who I really am, it’s more likely that she knows me
more than I know myself), and to all readers.
Thanks
for believing.
Solstice Butterfly
Created by Jerard Felix Beltran
BWEET!
BWEET! BWEET! …
Girl
1: Alarm again!?!
Girl
2: Joanne, hurry up! We’ll be late again!
Joanne:
Why does the alarm sound every time I’m taking a bath?!!!
***
BWEET!
BWEET! BWEET! …
Raya:
You owe me another treat at Jollibee! [Jollibee is the largest fast food
franchise in the Philippines.]
KASHNNNN!!
***
Year
2115
The world is divided into five
large domains due to the union of the countries in each region: the Regent
Orient (RO), composed of East and South East Asia; the United Afro-Arabia
(UAA), whose territory spans the entirety of Africa, the Fertile Crescent, and
the Arabian Peninsula; the European Union (EU), which includes the whole of
Europe, Northern Asia and Australia; the Antarcticas, spanning most of the
world’s southern hemisphere; and the Unis Amerikas (UA), composed of the
Arctic, North America and South America.
There has been unparalleled
peace and harmony in the world for the first time in the history of the Earth’s
people. The idea of "One World, One People" became the central maxim in
the minds of its inhabitants. Gaia-Unis, and organization composed of all five
nations was formed to realize this dream. As a symbol of their unity, Gaia-Unis
headed the successful project to establish a colony on the Moon, and has now
begun to establish a colony on Mars.
Unfortunately, the idea of the
world having a single leader and the power this leader would possess has been
the subject of much debate. The constant misunderstanding and in fighting
between the politicians and delegates regarding their ideologies did not help
at all in the realization of complete unity. Because of this, the Martian
colonies of Costina and Stina were left unsupervised. These two colonies joined
forces in 2122 and proclaimed their independence. The Gaia-Unis reluctantly accepted
these events and immediately formed the Inner-Ring Federation, but the
relationship quickly soured because the Mars colonies attacked the Moon the
very next year.
The Earth military retaliated
against Mars and was able to defeat them easily, but according to the military
reports, the head of the Martian forces went insane and, instead of
surrendering, killed himself and detonated the two colonies. This was dubbed
"The Mars Tragedy" by the historians of the time.
In 2127, the EU collapsed when
the machinery operating their Floating Cities, which had been known as
"The Grandest Sights on Earth," was sabotaged. The explosion of
several Electro-Magnetic Pulse (EMP) bombs followed this event which totally
destroyed all of the EU’s electronic systems. Because of the literal collapse
of their government, annihilation of communications and technology, the
destruction of their natural resources, and continuous military uprisings, the
EU experienced "The Second Dark Ages."
Only a few months after this,
the head of the UAA was assassinated and, in 2128, they decided to close their
country to the world. At present, the entire country is shrouded with a defense
system and no one knows what is happening within, except that the 12 tribes
comprising the country are still feuding.
Meanwhile, an EMP bomb exploded
in California. They found out that this had been the handiwork of the
Antarcticans and the UA decided to use one of their strongest weapons against
them: the satellite laser cannons.
Because of the world conflicts,
the RO created the Solace, seven gigantic machines designed to protect their
country. An emergency meeting between the AU and RO was called but their
representatives were both killed and both countries are still pointing fingers
as to who committed the crime.
Another bomb exploded in Canada,
which is why the president of the UA deemed it their responsibility to put the
world back in order. They revived the maxim "One World, One People"
in a historic speech.
The UA attacked the RO a few
months after they gained control of Russia with the help of Armored Tech (AT)
units, a battalion of robots controlled by American soldiers. Three of the
Solace robots were damaged because of this confrontation.
The UA invaded the Korean
peninsula within a week. At present, their attacks continue…
***
Chapter
1:1 The Past
!
BWEET!! BWEET!! BWEE*
Year
2131 AD 4:00 PM
West
Avenue, Quezon City, Philippines
TV:
Because of the attacks of the Unis Amerikas directed at our Japan capital, our beloved
Prime Minister has been forced to revive the Mandirigma [Warriors] –
Girl:
Mandirigma?!
TV: The
call for college students, male or female, has been issued –
Girl:
Why…
TV: To
serve as additional manpower for the defense force against our enemies –
Girl: I
belong in that group…
kshh*
TV: And
to be integrated into the Military Department.
***
Girl:
What?!!
Girl:
Oh, c’mon, Mom!
Mom:
You heard what I said…
Mom: I
am sending you off to join the Mandirigma!! You lack discipline! And look at
your room. It’s a mess! When was the last time you cleaned it up?! I’m always
the one picking up after you!
Girl:
^~^
Girl:
But…
Mom:
Start packing! Your father and I are sending you there tomorrow!!
Girl:
Arrrggghhhh!!
***
Girl:
Dad?!
Dad:
Raya…
Dad:
You heard your mother…
Dad:
…Do you understand?
Raya:
Yes, sir.
Mom:
Honey, I though you already quit smoking that pipe!!
Dad:
Darling, this is only for show…
Dad:
(It was effective, wasn’t it?) (Look at yourself, pretending to read the
paper!)
Mom:
What!?!!
***
Bataan,
2135
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Raya:
And now I’m here!
Raya:
Strange, isn’t it?
Joanne:
Lieutenant, you sure have a weird family!! Hahahaha!!
Raya:
Well, that’s what it’s really like…
BEEP*
Guy:
Wait, Lieutenant –
Com: A
perimeter report.
Com:
Two bogeys have infiltrated the barrier. One human and one unclassified AT-01
unit.
Raya:
C’mon!
Raya:
Joanne, full audio scan!
***
Joanne:
Lieutenant, there’s gunfire coming from the perimeter breech. 101-M North.
Raya:
Rajah, cross-link visuals. Target zoom! Establish silent Comm…
Rajah:
Lieutenant, here’s the enhancement.
Raya:
From the audio feedback of the shots, I’ve determined that they were fired from
a high-caliber gun and it didn’t come from the AT-01. It isn’t our standard
issue caliber either –
Joanne:
Lieutenant, I believe that we should wait until the firing stops before we
proceed to the location.
Raya:
No. We have to go there now.
Rajah:
Joanne, your visuals are sure ugly!!
Rajah:
You can’t beat mine! (I look really handsome, don’t I?)
Raya: Rajah,
don’t start!!
Rajah:
You’re sure ugly, lieutenant!
Joanne:
Hahahahahahaha!!
Raya:
Quit it! We’re close —
***
BKOOM!
BKOOM! BKOOM!
Girl:
Get away from me!
AT:
(Home base, child located) Don’t bother struggling, miss.
AT:
There’s nothing you can do.
NOOOOO!!
To
be continued…
One Day, Isang Diwa
Story by J.L. Palabay
Art by E.A. Damaso
K-CHK!
SSSSSHHHHHH…
Guy:
Mom, I’m leaving now!
***
MACOPA
HIGH SCHOOL [the fruit on the sign is a Macopa]
BRMM…
BRMM… BRMM…
Guy:
Why does it look like no one’s here?
Guy:
Hmmm…
Guy:
There…
Guy:
There’s someone!
***
Guy:
Umm… excuse me. May I ask you a question?
Girl:
Hmm? What is it?
Guy:
Uhm…
Guy:
Uh… y’see…
Girl:
Oh, come on. Don’t be shy.
Guy:
Ahem! I just transferred here and I was wondering if you could tell me where I
could go to register…
Girl:
Oh, is that all? It says here on the memo that registration’s been postponed
until next week.
***
Guy: Is
that so?
Girl:
Yup, but we could already see which sections we belong to. You can come with me
if you want.
Guy:
Okay, thanks.
Girl:
Don’t mention it.
Girl:
What year are you in?
Guy:
Huh? A… er… third year. And you?
Girl:
I’m also starting third year.
Guy:
Have you lived around here long?
Girl:
Yeah, quite.
Guy:
Then you must know a lot of people here.
Girl: I
suppose.
Girl:
Don’t worry. I’ll introduce you to my friends when we see each other again.
Guy:
Thanks again.
Guy:
Jun Morales, third year.
Girl:
Clarissa Perez, third year.
***
Officers:
Section Sierra.
Clarissa:
Look’s like we’re going to be classmates.
Jun: Oh,
by the way, I’m Jun.
Clarissa:
And I’m Clarissa.
Clarissa:
It’s pretty hard having to transfer schools, huh?
Jun:
Yeah. I left a lot of friends where I came from.
Clarissa:
Don’t worry. That’s just the way life is. Lots of changes.
Jun:
You sure talk a lot like a mother.
Clarissa:
Hey!
Jun:
Just kidding.
***
Jun:
Wow!! What luck!!!
Jun:
Alone with a beautiful woman!!! And what a setting!
Jun’s
devil: Hey, man, now’s your chance!!! Show her just how cool you are!
Sit-a-bit-closer…
Jun’s
angel: No, no, Jun! That’s not right. Just what will her impression of you be?
***
Jun:
Umm, Clarissa…
Girls:
CLARISSA!!!
Clarissa:
Laura! Alex!
Girls:
How are you?
Guy:
HEY, MAN! You managed to transfer after all! How are ya?
KA-PLAG!
Jun:
Just what do you think you’re doing?! Do you want to give me a heart attack?!!!
Guy:
Relax, man. You’re such a bundle of nerves.
Guy:
What now, my friend? We’re not really gonna do anything here. Why don’t you
treat me to some food? You’ll still have some money left over from registering
anyway…
Guy:
And you can keep me company while I buy some stuff and we can both go home
together.
Jun:
Huh? Umm…
Guy:
Come on! It’s not like we haven’t been through a lot or anything!
Note:
The chicks are pretty cute, aren’t they? Don’t worry, we’ll get to know them
later.
***
Guy:
You know, my friend, money is like sex. You should enjoy it!
Box:
After 3 burgers, 5 sodas, 4 fries, and a movie, all courtesy of Jun…
Jun:
Miss Nena, I’d like to buy two lollipops, please.
Voice:
Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Jun:
Hmm? What is it?
Jun:
Clarissa?! What’re you doing here?
Clarissa:
I just moved to this part of the neighborhood. Our house is just over that way.
Jun:
Really? My house in also in that direction!
***
Jun:
Well, it looks like we’ll be going together again.
Clarissa:
Okay. Oh, by the way. Your lollipops…
Clarissa:
You might forget them.
Jun:
Oh… yeah. Here. You can have one.
Clarissa:
Thanks, but it’s okay. Really.
Jun:
Oh, come on. Have mercy on what little face I still have. [Kahihiyan – root word:
hiya. The literal English translation is embarrassment or shame. The closest
translation for this particular use of the word is ‘to save face.’]
Clarissa:
Oh, alright.
Clarissa:
Today’s sure been full of coincidences.
Jun:
Yeah.
Jun:
Clarissa, I want to apologize for running off so suddenly earlier.
Clarissa:
Huh? Oh, that’s okay. Actually, I should be the one to apologize because I
wasn’t able to introduce you to my friends.
Clarissa:
Well, this is where we part ways.
Jun:
Okay: Take care!
Fairy: So
how’s the new school?
Jun:
Oh, hi, Diwa! It looks like it’s going to be okay there.
To
be continued… (should we continue this?)
PASIG – Chapter 1: The Meeting
Story and Art by Taga-Ilog
Co-plotter and color assists:
J.L. Palabay
Vendor:
People’s! Tonite! Abante! Taliba! [Newspaper tabloids]
FUU!
Narrative:
Ah, Pasig. I never thought that I’d come back to the shanties I used to call
home.
Narrative:
It’s been five years since I left for Bataan to train to be a bounty hunter….
Fate is the only thing that brought me back here for my very first mission.
Girl: !
Girl:
Huh?
***
Tmp Tmp
Tmp
Narrative:
But despite all your training, nothing can prepare you for events that only
fate can deal.
SNAG!
Girl:
AHH!! My gun!!! Give it back!!!
Guy:
Many thanks!!! Heh! Heh! Heh!
***
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girl:
Son of a…!! Come back here!!!
Guy 1:
What am I stupid?! Catch me if you can!!!
PBBTH
Girl:
When I get my hands on you, I’ll crush you like a BUG!
Guy 2:
Where are you off to, friend?
Guy 1:
Oh, P*#@!!!
***
Girl:
?!
Guy 2:
Is this idiot your slave?
Guy 1:
OUCH!
Guy 1:
Help!
KA-CHA
Girl:
Huh?! Uh, no, but he took my gun. Thanks for your help.
HAH
HAAAH
***
Guy 2:
Hmpf.
Guy 2:
Until you can prove that this gun belongs to you, I’ll hold it for safekeeping.
Farewell!
TUP
Girl: Wait!!!
That’s mine and I can prove it! Wait!!!
Guy 1:
He’s already too far, lady. He can’t hear you anymore…. It’s too bad that Dante
took your gun.
Girl:
This is all your fault!!!
OUCH
SPAK!!!
GRRR
***
BLAG!
Girl:
Why won’t you believe me?
Dante: Mina
Cruz – bounty hunter. Are you sure this thing’s authentic?
Mina:
Yes.
Dante:
You can get a fake real easy at Recto.
Dante:
If you’re really a bounty hunter, you wouldn’t have been filched by the likes
of that guy.
Mina:
What an airbag!
Mina:
Son of a…! Just what are you trying to prove?
***
PSSSSSHH
Mina:
Wait a minute. I think I know…
TUSH
TUSH
Mina:
Here’s 50,000 pesos. Gimme back my gun!
CACHIK
Mina: …
Dante:
Uhmm… Hahahahahaha!
***
HAHAHAHA
HAH HA
Mina:
Are you just trying to get on my nerves?
HA-HAHA
HA HA HA HA HA HA
Dante:
Hahaha! You have such a shallow perception of us slaves. If you think that
money is the answer to everything here in Pasig, it’ll be better if you just
pack up and return to wherever you came from.
Dante:
Here.
Dante:
Next time, be more careful. It’s dangerous to be a bounty hunter in a city like
this.
***
Mina:
Umm… th-thanks.
CHA -
Dante:
Oh, by the way…
Dante:
If I were you, I’d change my bullets. You’ll be in a heap of trouble if all you
have in your gun are notched ones. Farewell.
Note:
Notched bullets – a bullet with a notch intentionally placed in any part of the
bullet’s shell. This type of bullet is designed to explode once the trigger is
pulled.
***
Mina:
Huh?! What is this?
KA-CHIK
Narrative:
He’s right. If I used this during a fight, my gun could explode. But who’d want
to sabotage me?
Narrative:
That guy… he belongs to a class of slaves that specialize in fighting.
SSHAAA
---
PLIP
PLOK PLIK
Narrative:
Fate or not, I’m sure that we’ll meet again.
To
be continued…
Cat’s Trail
Story and Art by: E.A. Damaso
Episode
I:
Once upon a time, in the far,
far, (far) planet of Memer, a fight erupted between Airee Collette (a.k.a. Ogi
Bendogi) – a notorious thief and pickpocket who’s wanted in two continents –
and Sheriff Poppy (a.k.a. Darth Vord) – the (unfortunate) person tasked with
capturing said criminal. Their fight had gone on for a while and now it has
come to this most awaited of meetings – the final showdown… (Maybe it would be
better if this was real moving script. When are we going into multi-media?)
***
Airee:
You’ll pay for what you did to Bay-gon-jin [Baygon-man/person (?)]! You killed
my partner!!!
Poppy:
What are you talking about? I just threw a wooden sandal in his direction! Is
it my fault that he backed into the toilet and accidentally flushed himself
down the pipes?
Poppy:
That’s downright stupidity!
Poppy:
Besides, you already managed to hit the bull’s eye! That hurt! Especially since
my sinuses are acting up.
Airee:
I don’t care!!! Prepare yourself because this will be our final battle!
Airee:
This is your end, Darth Vord!!!
Narrator:
Let’s cut this one short…
TOK!
PAK! Poing! BOOM! HWOOTOOT! HWOOTOOT!
Poppy:
AAAAHHHH!!!
Poppy:
Yikes! My pants!
Kid:
Hey! That guy’s a pervert!
Adult: You’re
right! Imagine getting into a fight without any pants on!
Narrator:
But that’s not our real story. Here’s what really happened… (read the next
page).
***
Airee:
There! Just as I promised, the famous Golden Raccoon!
Man:
Hmmm…
Airee:
Ha! You can’t get that anywhere else!
***
Airee:
That’s the only one left of its kind! There were two others, but no one could
find them. They say that the others were destroyed when the Raccoon Palace
collapsed. It’s a good thing my grandfather’s a great excavator. He was the one
who found that.
Airee:
You’re sure lucky that we met! I was planning on selling that piece to a
museum…
Man:
Really? And for how much are you willing to part with it?
Airee:
Hmmm…. Because I’m a nice person, I’ll give you a discount… let’s say… 10,000
gold.
Man:
And are you sure that you’re not selling me a fake? I have my doubts…
***
Airee:
Fake?! Ha-ha-ha!!!
Airee:
What do you think I am? A con-woman and a cheat?
Man:
Grrrrr….
Airee:
Uhh… are you sick or somethin’? You look like you’re shaking.
Man:
You just stole this piece from La Cucaracha Museum…
Man:
Hmmph!
Airee:
Oh, all right! I’ll take credit cards or bank notes. Are you fine with that?
KA-CHAK!
Man:
WHY DON’T I JUST BOOK YOU!?! [Literal translation: ‘why don’t I just file a case
against you.’ This is the English equivalent of the sentiment.]
***
Airee:
You?
Poppy:
This is the end of the line for you, Airee. Let’s see if you can escape now…
Waitress:
Huh! A gun?!
Airee:
Uh….
SNAP!
Poppy:
He-he-he-heh!…
Waitress
1: I have a boyfriend! I don’t want to die!!! WAAAHHH!
Guy 1:
Hey, man, use the "Force!"
Guy 2:
What force? I’m just trying to impress people with this outfit…
K-CHK!
K-CHIK! K-CHIK! DING-DONG!
Soldier:
Son of a…! Just who serviced my gun?
Waitress
2 SD: WAAAH!!! Don’t shoot!! This is just my first day as a waitress!
Waitress
2 SD: I still haven’t received my salary!!!
***
Airee:
I should have known! No wonder there were so many people in cloaks.
Poppy:
Surrender now! Don’t make it any harder for the both of us.
Airee:
What am I gonna do?
Airee:
I need a miracle!
Guy in
green: Son of a…
Guy in
green: You owe me another one for this, kid!
KRK!
KRUNCH!
Airee
and Poppy: Huh?!
***
Note:
The item that hit our unfortunate sheriff is the "Instamatic, Inflatable
Battering Ram." This thing had been hid in the bar earlier.
SKRABADOOSH!!!
Poppy:
EEAAYYOOWW!!!
Airee:
Aaahhhh…!!!
Airee:
Thanks, Polaris. I know you planned this one…
Airee:
Now, I’ll just take you….
Poppy:
Wow, that was some truck that just hit me….
Soldier:
SIR!!!
***
Airee:
Coming through!!!
SSSHHH!
THOK!
FWUD!
Soldier:
Sir, are you all right?
Poppy:
Idiots!!! Get your hands off me and go after that thief!!!
Poppy:
Hurry!!! Use the North Stallions!!!
Soldier:
Yes, sir!
***
Soldier:
Sir… we have a problem…
Poppy:
What?!
Soldier:
Looks like our stallions have been injected with sleeping potions…
Poppy:
Huh?!!!
Lizard
1: Zzzzz……
Lizard
2: Ngork!….
WARK!
Airee:
Thanks, Polaris! You saved me back there, hehe!!…
Polaris:
If only you weren’t so pig-headed! I told you it was a trap, but you didn’t
listen…
Polaris:
I was hoping to use that battering ram on something else…
Narrator:
And this is just the start of our heroes’… er, villains’?… journey. Oh,
whatever! Just keep on reading the next chapters of "Cat’s Trail!"
(So you’ll also find out why that’s the series’ title).
COMICS:
Taga-Ilog
on Manga
Taga-Ilog:
Manga? Isn’t that that thing that’s sour when it’s still green and sweet when
ripe? [Mango. Filipino: Mangga]
Hey! How are you? We hope that you
enjoyed our comic. Anyway, I’m here to clarify some things about ‘manga.’
‘Manga’ is a Japanese word that means caricature, cartoon, comic strip, or
perhaps animation. A famous Japanese woodblock artist named Hokusai coined the
name in 1814. The word ‘manga’ is divided into two Chinese ideograms – ‘man,’
which means involuntary or despite one’s self; and ‘ga,’ which means picture.
The meaning of the word ‘manga’
has become more distinct here in the Philippines. ‘Manga’ (not the fruit) is
used to signify Japanese comics (or Japanese-style comics). Japanese-style
animation seen on TV goes by a different name. It is more popularly known as
‘animé’ from the word ‘animation.’
Manga has a very wide scope in
terms of themes. Almost every single theme one could think of has a Japanese
comic that caters to it. From samurai stories, mecha [robots], love,
shojo/shonen ai (homosexual love), hentai (adult), comedy, and even the game of
mahjong has a comic! When a particular manga becomes famous in Japan, it isn’t too
far off that the series will have an animé version. Some of these even make it
to become full-length animé movies. There are even ‘dojinshi’ (comics made by
fans that often do not coincide with the original story line) for the more
popular series.
There are many mangas that
children read but not all mangas are for kids. Many of these contain violent
confrontations and nude shots of the heroines that would surely get violent
reactions from parents. According to Frank Miller (Sin City writer/artist) from
an interview in Comics Journal, "The Japanese Comics are as violent as
I’ve seen…. The violence in them is rather honest. They’re willing to be
violent, and admit that that’s what they want in their fiction. I think we are
much more hypocritical about it." … "To have moral concepts worked
out on paper, and a world where people fight for them… I think that’s a lot of
what draws people to our comics."
This
is where the misconceptions of many regarding comics and cartoons, particularly
animé, are shattered… if in the past, these were only for kids, all I can say
is that the times change very fast, so better hold on before you get left
behind!
Culture
Crash™, Solstice Butterfly™, One Day, Isang Diwa™, PASIG™, Cat’s Trail™ and the
other names, logos and all related characters in this translation are ™ and ©
2000 Culture Crash Comics/J. C. Palabay Ent., Inc. and their respective owners.