"Ok then," said Xander, shaking his head and struggling through the
crowd. "If you don't want to talk about girl stuff, talk to the guys."
"No. The guys only want to talk about football. They've been talking
to me about it all night! Joseph of the Packers, Bledsoe of the Ravens, Neon Deion � I mean, who are all these people?
"Anya, just deal with it for five minutes, OK? I'm going to get some
more beer."
As Xander sidled away, a boy immediately slipped in beside Anya. "Hi,
" he pattered. "I'm Chris. Can I talk to you about Jesus?"
"I'm sure you will," groaned Anya, extremely bored. "What team does
he play for?"
As Xander reached the kitchen, he saw Buffy reacting to the scene behind
him.
"What?" he asked.
"Don't look now, Xander, but I think Anya just got touched by an angel."
Xander turned "Hey! Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think they left that one out of the Bible."
"Yeah, try the Karma Sutra," said Xander, bristling with rage.
"Ooh, and that one is DEFINITELY not in the Bible. Unless there's a
kickboxing supplement I missed," laughed Buffy as Anya's knee connected
with a sensitive area.
"Yup, it goes Acts, Romans, Tae Bo," said Riley.
Xander slowly relaxed. "See?" said Buffy, as she moved her arms behind
her to embrace Riley. "She's true to her Xan man, no matter what." Buffy
stared off into space for a second, thinking. "You know, I'd bet those
two would get along a lot better if he knew what Anya really was�"
Riley grabbed her round the waist.� "You are not going to tell
them," he ordered.� Buffy laughed.� "Spoil my fun."
Xander, still nervous, didn't join in.� "Actually...that's a good
point. I mean, she's still, well, a demon. They're part of an organisation
that � historically - has been pretty much anti-demon. From what I�
remember of Sunday school, I believe they are quite vocal about that part.
Are we messing with forces we don't understand here?� Should I be
getting my girlfriend out of here before someone tries to tie her to a
bed and the pea soup starts flying?"
Buffy swallowed another mouthful of beer and grabbed at Xander's shoulder.
"Don't you dare leave yet. The night is still young. Besides, those guys
aren't�so terrible.� Well, they're annoying and seriously wiggy, and
what the hell are they thinking with those pants, the eighties are long
gone, boys, but, but we can't throw them out. I mean, they're not hurting
anyone, right? Not yet, anyway."
"Right," said Riley.
"And like Riley says � if we all just ignore them, eventually they'll
get bored and go home. We hope."
"Right. To religious tolerance," toasted Riley.
"Religious tolerance," Buffy echoed, clinking her beer to his.
"Hi, I'm Colin."
"Noooo," said Willow, trying to edge away along the snacks table.
"No what?"
"Nooo, you can't talk to me about Jesus.
"I wasn't - "
"Or God," Willow added quickly.
"Sure."
"Or anything�religious."
"OK, OK!"
Willow relaxed. "Sorry. It's just, well � "
"Hey, that's cool." The boy raised his hands, understanding. "Those
guys have been bugging me too."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were, you know, one of 'them'."
"No problem. Guess that means my dress sense is a little worse than
I thought, though. I was aiming for confused Catholic here, and instead
I end up with the Reformed Baptist look."
Willow laughed. "Oh, no, it's OK. I think you look very confused."
Colin smiled impishly. "Thanks," he said, with affection.
"You know," Willow continued, "it's good to finally have a normal conversation
with someone."
"Yeah. Totally with you on that one."
"So are you a freshman this year? What are you studying? Are you going
to be in Stevenson?"
"Yup. I'm not sure what I'm studying yet though."
"But�but school starts next week?"
"Yeah, I know, but it's, well, it's not my main concern right now.
See, I got a football scholarship, so I'm focussing on training right now."
"Huh."
"Yep. I've really got to work hard if I want to make pro. Every morning,
I get up and I run five miles."
"Huh."
"Then I do fifty push-ups and a hundred crunches. This is all before
practice, of course."
"Mmmm."
"Yeah, of course, the thing is, it's also a mental game. You've got
to know how to think."
"Sure."
"See, last year, I was playing this one game. Fourth quarter, third
down, just twenty yards out. Now, see, the QB, he wanted to go for the
squeeze play, but he was way off base. I'd seen the Giants make the same
mistake that weekend! See, when you're that close to the line, most people
get jumpy, and start to panic, but that's like the biggest mistake you
can make, right? So -"
"Yep, of course, big mistake�" Willow's shoulders slumped with defeat,
but then she spotted her saviour: "GILES!" she yelled, and with a babbled
"I'm-sorry-I-have-to-go" ran across the room to him.
"No, I'm quite sure my soul is perfectly fine right now, but yes, I
will call you if, if it ever needs a service. Thank you," Giles said, detaching
himself. "Pillock" he cursed to Willow as she joined him. "What the hell
is going on here? People keep preaching religion at me without any evidence
of intoxication."
"Alas, Riley accidentally invited some of his more religious acquaintances.
And they came in a pack. But we're trying to be good hosts and live and
let live."
"Well, you might be, Willow, but I think others in the crowd out there
might not see things the same way. Anyway, where are the others? I have
to talk to them."
"Sure, OK," said Willow, worried. They're over by the kitchen�" she
continued, but Giles was already moving ahead of her.
"Ahem. Buffy?"
She turned. Dale stood before her, sombrely holding out a cup of pink
liquid.
"Would you like some punch? Consider it a peace offering. And an apology."
Buffy half-smiled, suspiciously. "Oooookay," she said, taking the drink.
"I'm sorry about this morning," he went on. "I was really out of line."
"Hoo yeah," Buffy agreed.
"And I want to thank you for the invitation. We're always wanting to
meet up with new students, spread the word."
"Dale, this is a party. You think you could cut the whole "Mission
from God" thing for one night?"
Dale looked deeply insulted. "I really don't know what you mean. All
we want to do is talk to people, and share the word. That's all we're doing."
"Let me say it again � this is a party. You know parties, Dale? Drink
beer? Meet girls? Have fun?"
"Buffy, that's not funny. And you can't stop us from talking to people.
It's a free country."
Buffy just rolled her eyes. "Fine then. Keep "talking" to people. But
if anyone of you even thinks about � "
"Great! Thanks, Buffy!" Dale cut her off and suddenly was moving through
the crowd. Buffy stared daggers after him then sculled the punch and crushed
the cup to shreds.
"Well done," said Riley, coming up behind her. "Although now we have
to deal with your clear issues with plastic cups."
Buffy didn't laugh. "If I have to face much more religious tolerance
I'm going to require more beer. LOTS more beer." she shuddered.
"Look, just don't talk to those guys any more, OK?"
Anya sighed. "OK."
Xander nodded. "Good. Oh, and don't talk to those football players
over there. And that guy, well, please whatever you do, don't even go anywhere
near him. OK?"
Anya pouted. "OK. I'll talk to the band."
"What? No!"
"What's wrong with the band?"
"They're musicians! They - they have � well - look, just don't talk
to them either."
"OK fine. Why don't you point out to me the people here that I am allowed
to talk to?"
Xander scanned around, but Anya grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"I wasn't being serious," she snapped.
"Look, it's just some of the people here � well, you know how you're
�" Xander couldn't finish it. "Look, just please can you not talk to anyone,
OK? Just for tonight, just talk to me and Buffy and the gang. OK?"
"No!" Anya shouted. "Actually Xander, I think I will talk to whoever
I want to talk to. In fact, I am going to go over right now and talk to
those football people. I may even have many sessions of wild,� passionate
sex with them. And absolutely no sex with you." At that, she turned and
began to walk away.
"Yeah, OK, well fine. It's not like I enjoy it anyway," Xander called
after her.
Anya turned her head and shouted back "Really? That makes two of us."
Xander flinched then suddenly became aware of the audience around him,
and what they had just heard. He smiled with terror. "She's just kidding
about how much she enjoys the sex there," he explained. "I'm really a big
old firecracker in the sack."
Xander's jaw dropped as his mind caught up with his words. He smiled
wider and clapsed his hands together obsequiously. "OK then. Glad we cleared
that up. Thanks for your time," he pattered, and backed away in shame.
"Giles!" said Buffy, jumping up guiltily as he walked into the kitchen.
She looked around. "What - what are you doing here? Is something up?"
"Hey Giles" said Xander, following him into the room. "Is the world
about to end?" he asked despondently. "Because I could really go for that
right about now."
"Er, no, no, everything's fine. But I need to talk to you, to all of
you. It's very important."
Buffy blinked, and then stood to attention. "OK, boss. We're all ears."
"Ah, actually Buffy, I think we should go somewhere, ah, more private."
"Our room," said Willow.
The party noise faded into a quiet throb as Willow closed the door.
The other four were scattered at awkward angles around the room. Xander
leaned against the bookcase, trying to affect a careless attitude. Buffy
sat nervously on the edge of her bed; Riley stood behind her, their hands
still together. In the middle of the room Giles was shuffling slightly
back and forth; he had a performance to give, and his audience would not
be a receptive one.
Riley started things off. "So, Sir, what was it you wanted to talk
to us about?"
"Yeah," said Buffy. "What's the deal?"
"I - I had a visitor today" Giles began. "He was from the Council.
Apparently, an appeal was mounted in my name, and I have had certain of
my privileges as a Watcher reinstated."
There was a pause. Xander ended it. "Question: why do we care? I mean,
didn't we all agree that Buffy was a free range Slayer now and the Council
were history?"
"That's pretty much the way I would put it," agreed Buffy.
"Buffy may be independent of the Council now, but 'history' they most
certainly are not. The Council has existed, in various forms, for millennia.
A force like that does not simply disappear."
"No, they tend to pop up from time to time and try to shoot me with
machine guns," returned Buffy, scowling.
Giles sighed. "My point is, Buffy, that the Council is not going to
go away. Nor is it something which can easily be classified as good or
evil. Although its core may be rotten, although it may be being strangled
by its own artifices, there are still many in its ranks who work to save
the world, as we do. And there are still many resources it can provide
us in our fight."
"So what - you got your account reopened at Occult Books R Us?"
"Yes, Xander, that's exactly what I'm saying." Giles said with sarcasm.
"Now that I am no longer a complete outcast, I can have access to a selection
of books, weapons and magic that, that might prove vital in fighting our
next foe. More importantly, it will be much easier for those within the
council to provide us these things and lend us their support in�any other
ways. For, for example -"
"Giles," broke in Buffy, sternly. "This is all very useful, I'm sure,
but it's not exactly something we need to know about right now, in the
middle of the party, with all this major wiggins. Is there something more
going on?"
"Yes, Buffy, there is something else to this matter. It seems the Council
has seen fit to allow me the right to name my successor."
"Your successor?" said Willow, confused. "You mean, the person who
takes your place on the Council - the next Watcher?"
"Yes. It's tradition, very old tradition, that these things pass by
blood, to your children. My father passed it to me, his aunt to him. But
- "
"But you don't have any children," said Buffy slowly, coming to understand.
"No" Giles said softly, and then he looked at them all in turn. "But
I like to think I have something of a family�,"
Xander's hand shot up. "Ooh, ooh, pick me, I know, I know!" He pointed
behind him. "Willow, right? You want Willow to be your next Watcher.�
Excellent." He turned to Willow and threw out a handshake. "Congratulations,
Wil!"
Willow didn't move. She was staring dumbfounded at Giles, whose gaze
hadn't moved. He was staring at something else.
"Actually," he said very softly, "I was thinking more of you Xander."
"So what you're saying is, this�Jessie person?" Anya tailed off.
"Jesus," her companion said helpfully.
"Jesus, he got nailed to a cross so that whenever I crossover to the
spiritual realm, there is absolutely no risk of me having to enter Hell?"
"Yep."
"And this is true for everyone in the whole world?"
"Yep!"
"That's�amazing. How come I haven't heard about this before?"
"Well�, that's -"
"I mean, a blood ritual of that magnitude? Do you realise how much
power you would need?"
"Sorry?"
"OK, so he's a powerful demigod, but so was Osiris, and he was only
able to seal a Hellmouth over a tiny area! Did he use an incantation, or
was it just the ritual dismemberment?"
"Er, well�I think �"
"Was there a virgin involved? Hey! Where are you going? Were we finished
here?"
"What?" said Buffy, confused.
"What?!" said Willow, annoyed.
"WHAT?!?" said Xander, terrified.
"Ok," Xander managed to gasp "there is SO much wrong with that idea
that I'm going to have to just stand here and say "what" a few more times
before I'm ready to talk."
"Xander? Why Xander? What about Willow?" demanded Buffy. "She's Research
Girl. She's the witch."
"Yeah," said Willow, finding her voice. "and, not to dump on Xander, but um, you know he barely passed English, right?"
"No, please, Wil, dump away!" Xander replied. "She's right - I'm a
moron! What the hell are you thinking?"
"Will you stop that!" said Giles, angrily.
"Stop what?"
"Telling yourself that you're...'a moron'. That you're stupid. It's
not true, and I'm sick and tired of you believing it"
"It's not true? Gee, you think you could tell that to the school board
sometime?� Maybe call the SAT people?"
"Xander!" Giles said with great annoyance, and the room instantly silenced.
"Listen to me very carefully. In your life, you are going to find many
people who will tell you that you cannot do something, that you cannot
be something. You are under absolutely no obligation to believe them."
Giles sighed,and rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. "D-Do you honestly
believe that you could have spent four years helping
us in the library and be an imbecile? That you could have deduced how
to defeat the Judge? That you could have, er � "
"Got so many donuts, and never once forgotten the jellies?" Xander
offered.
"He's got a point, Giles," Buffy said. "I agree, Xander isn't dumb.
And he's helped us save the day � and saved my life - many times. But that
doesn't mean he's a Watcher waiting to happen."
"Watchers are all about that fancy shmancy book-learnin'," Xander drawled.
"And I believe that is Willow's area of expertise, am I right."
"Well, sure, I guess," Willow said, still flustered. "But maybe I don't
want to be a Watcher either?"
"Well, let me make it clear that I am not forcing anybody to do anything
� "
"No, you just thought you'd play career matchmaker for the little boy
lost," shot back Xander, acidly.
"OK, stop," broke in Riley. Everyone turned. Riley smiled, nervously.
"OK. Well, I'm not really sure what to think on this issue. You guys obviously
know the Council a lot better than I do. Still, I think you guys should
hear Mr Giles out."
There was a pause, and then Giles spoke more slowly. "Thank you Riley.
I � I do want to say again, that I am not pressuring you here, Xander,
or-or anyone. When I was told of my destiny to be a Watcher I was not given
an option to decline, and believe me, that was not an experience I particularly
enjoyed. I don't want to repeat it here. Xander, I am offering this option
to you because I deem you a suitable candidate and because I believe it could benefit us all. But whether
you accept it is-is entirely up to you."� Before anyone else could
speak, Giles stormed on. "As to why I selected Xander, there is a perfectly
good explanation for this:" Giles looked directly at the young man in front
of him. "Because you have demonstrated, again and again, your suitability
for the calling. As strange as it may sound, you're the best man for the
job."
Xander laughed, then stopped, embarrassed. "Sorry, I just thought that
was a joke.� Heh."
"But why, Giles?" demanded Buffy after a thoughtful swallow of beer.
"Why Xander and not Willow?"
"Because being a Watcher, Buffy, is about far more than just, er, "book
learning" as Xander put it. The Watcher's task is to watch over the Slayer.
T-To find her, to teach her, to protect her, and-and support her. To prepare
her for all the things she will face, and guide her when she goes astray.
In my estimation, Xander has shown this devotion to you, Buffy. He has
been your support and your strength of heart when I couldn't be there,
and he's played Devil's Advocate when you might have lost yourself in,
er, personal considerations."
"And, on top of all that, I also brought you many tasty pastry delights
� I'm just a prince."
Buffy shook her head. "Xander�" she ran out of words. "Giles, it's
not that � Xander's my friend. We looked out for each other, that's all."
"I believe Xander's role was more than just that � "
"Well, sure, but he had � " Buffy stopped, and glanced at Riley, biting
her lip. Then she sighed and said quietly "He had a crush on me."
"Hey! Buff, I've been friends with you for a long time since we got
past that. I thought you knew that."
"You never stopped being jealous of me and Angel," Buffy said, her
voice cracking with emotion.
"So I never thought a Slayer and a vampire made a good couple. So what?
I was right, anyway, wasn't I? He dumped you like a rock the moment it
got too hard."
Buffy glared at him with cold hatred. "Don't you dare say "I told you
so" to me, Xander. Don't you DARE!"
"See?" said Willow to Giles, over the argument. "Is this the loving
relationship you're so proud of?"
At this, Buffy whipped around to face Giles. "And what about Willow?
She's my BEST FRIEND, Giles. She's been there for me, every single day.
How can you say she's not Watcher material and Xander is?"
"Look, I � I've made my decision, and � "
"and what? We just have to follow orders?" accused Buffy.
"Is this a sex thing?" cut in Willow. "I mean, we don't see a heck
of a lot of female Watchers, do we?" Willow's suspicious grew with her
anger. "Am I out of the running just because I'm a girl?" she asked fiercely.
"This isn't some kind of 'I've always thought of you as a son' thing,
is it? Because I absolutely refuse to hug you."
"Willow, Xander, you are not in competition with each other!" Giles
was shouting now too.
"Giles, I'm the Slayer. I have two best friends. You had to pick one
of them. How could they NOT be in competition with each other?"
"Buffy - "
"Buffy," came a new voice from the door. They turned to see Anya, with
fear in her eyes. "You need to come. They're going to kill somebody."