Well the kids woke up to again find Easter baskets awaiting them.  Yes, their candy is definitely "restocked".  It has been a long and lazy day.  Cora stayed all night with us last night.  She too had an Easter basket awaiting her.  Her mother feels the same way that I do about things, so she was kinda surprised that Cora had a basket.  Her and her family are enjoying Nemo tonight.  She asked me what we thought of it.  I didnt want to ruin it or put a bad spin on it for her so I politely said,"Disney really knows how to put on a show!  It was really colorful".  Amazingly I didnt go off on a wild tangent (for the most part) about how I had to pay $7 for stale popcorn and how they charged us to park in a place we have never been charged to park at before!  I hope they enjoy the show.  I also hope that they choose to take a bank roll with them for the kids enjoyment!

My gripe of today is I guess about trust or forgiveness.  I have never been one to hold back when it comes to criticizing my childhood family.  They showed about as much love for me as Bush does for the gay community.  Every since I can remember,  I tried to be a part of "their" family for years, but never did fit in.  I always thought it was because I didnt  (dont) know who my father was, or because I was a little greedy when it come to eating sweets at family gatherings.  Now, I know that it was because my family is filled with a bunch of ignorant jerks.  It amazes me though how some people (friends or family) can treat you terribly over and over again, and then,  all of a sudden expect you to pretend nothing happened.  They actually try to be " friends/family" again.  Is it possible to just forget every time they burned you? Do they really expect you to, or they just seeing if they can fool you yet again?   Can you really be expected to forgive and forget, and then open yourself up for the same thing again?  Perhaps I am just paranoid, but I have no intinion of doing that.  I understand that people go through things, and make mistakes, and say things that they dont mean, or do things they probably wouldnt normally do. To expect others to fogive and forget is absurb!  There must be closure.  You get closure by talking about things, coming to terms with past mistakes, apologizing, and rebuilding.  You cant expect to have that "un-said" forgiveness.   I stayed for a year in Indianapolis with a male who was 4 years older than me.  I was almost 16.  My mother and step-dad was in Kentucky.   My other family knew where I was, yet none of them checked on me.  To this day, they dont even know my children's names.   My kids will never know these people, however, they will know my other family.  The Adams family in KY took me in with open arms.  I dont know what I would have done without them.  It is because of my second family's pushing that I chose to do ANYTHING with my life.  My natural family wanted me out of the house, no matter how old I was or who it was with, or what it took to happen.  I actually think that they wouldnt have minded if I would have have been killed, as long as I was out of the house (write me for more info on this topic).  Education was not an option.  Happiness was not important.  Well, we all know where that kind of thinking got me now dont we?   (See the post from April 9th)  I again thank the Adams family for making me who I am.  Love ya Jean, Kenneth, Kenny, Mike, Donna, Phil, and the late Sheila Jean, and Christopher.