As any one can tell by this picture, this has not been a good week/weekend for me/us.  Our story will follow.

We made it to SC in one piece, and checked in at the local Ronald McDonald House.  Let me tell ya, we were treated like royalty by them.  They offered us dinner each night, left snacks out for us.  They had a washer and dryer, as well as anything you could possibly need to use on your clothes.  They were amazing to us, and were so sympathetic to Brandon and what we were all going through.  I can't say enough good stuff about these folks.

The morning of surgery was intense!  Bill was a nervous wreck and was also irritated with his ex (as she was with him).   Catriena asseserted her self as "the mom".  She was majorly overbearing on arrival, (but got better and for the most part lost the attitude).  Brandon had his surgery, and when he got out of surgery, the fighting between them started.  Bill was mad, no, to be honest he was outright PI****  because  she was  trying to keep ME from being able to stay with Brandon.  In return she was mad because Bill had said "If Catie, who takes care of him every day, cant stay-then I will stay the entire time and to hell with her-she will not stay!!!"  Well, this exploded at the hospital and the hospital began looking at legal risk and of course sided that both Bill and Catriena could stay with Brandon, and that would prevent a lawsuit for them.  I wrote about how I felt about it already.  It really didnt bother me at all, until I was told that I was not Brandon's "parent" (and I was flat out told that I am the only person that cannot sue on Brandon's behalf) and would not be staying with him at all.  All I can say is that remark cut me to the bone, and I will never forget it.   The two of them finally worked out there differences for the time being-which was good because Brandon was fixing to need us all. 

Brandon come out of surgery and was hurting "a little".  With 30 minutes he was screaming in pain.  This went on for hours-almost 10 hours!  I still cant even think about it without crying, so all I will say is that my son was tortured because of someone's lack of competence/caring/judgment/knowledge/opinion or whatever.  I will never forget what I/we went through with this child for that time period.  It was a mother's worse nightmare.  He screamed and cried and hyperventilated and screamed some more.  Finally he got a big dose of Morphine and a PCA pump.  He finally started easing off.  I stayed with him and Bill until about 11 pm, when he had finally started actually sleeping.  He awoke the next morning early though and was having anxiety attacks, whining and ultra-panicking and screaming.  Finally they gave him some Versed, and he eased off-physically and mentally.  We had a pretty good day.  His mom and I bathed him and dressed him up in his "Cars" shirt and bottoms. Then, later that night, he got a fever.  I came in the next morning and his mom had said that he had a temp of 102.4.  Bill and I bathed him, got him up to his wheelchair, and then all of us took turns cruising with him.  Sometimes Brandon was asleep, other times he was awake.  He had a terrific day and amazingly God spoke to someone because I was told I had permission to spend the night with Brandon.  I actually had it nice.  I insisted that he stay up all day and be "active".  He begged us to put him back into bed.  At 9pm we put him to bed.  He closed his eyes and other than when the nurses woke him for medications, HE SLEPT LIKE A BABY!!!  We had a great night, and got to leave this morning. 

We have been home for around 4 hours now.  Brandon is doing good physically, but mentally he is having post-traumatic stress from all of this.  He is terrified to be touched or moved.  He is having horrible anxiety attacks that he just cant get control of.  I am calling his shrink tomorrow to see if I can get him some valium for a few days to see if it will help him get over this.  I honestly think he is so traumatized by this, that he may never get over it. 

My personal take on the whole thing-boy thats a tough one.  I am very bitter in ways.  I have seen the best and worst in those I both loved, and hated.  I cant help but be hurt by everything that was said and done.   I was told once that Brandon's mom felt as though she was supposed to be at my "beck and call" for Brandon while Bill was in Iraq.  Although I was raising her child by my self at that time, and I looked to her not only for guidance but also as the only help I could have had at the time,  I never said anything negativly to her about that comment.       I was also told that she said that matters that involved Brandon, only involved her and Bill, and definitely did not involve me.  Wouldn't my life be easier if that was the case?    When I was told that she had made a request for me NOT to stay in the hospital with this precious child that I look after every single day, I lost all of the respect that I had for her at that moment.  In the hospital I done the right thing though.   I ended up doing what I always do with Brandon.  I was extremely nice to her, as well as to her mother who for some reason was always trying to sneak in a smart a**  remark without having the balls to own up to what she was actually thinking.  (Not to mention she is/was clueless on what it takes to actually raise a child, specifically a child like Brandon.)  I did it because I knew who needed me to be the grown up/mature one.  I knew Brandon needed all of us in his life at that time.  Will I regret being so nice-I am sure I will pay for it for many years to come.

Ok, final note-although I feel I will be doing some therapeutic writing soon on here-for my hubands information-I will make a huge announcment-I am not having morning sickness, and my child will not be named Tyrill Lamar!  Have a great evening yall!