Raven at her karate class tonight.

Ok, our entire household is now fully exhausted.  Our kids are tired, we are tired, the dogs are tired, heck even the cat is tired.  We have had a very long 2 weeks. 

 I am happy to say that my leave/mini-vacation time starts today.  I am so happy!  I had my last day of triage today.  I had been in triage for the last 3 days.  In triage you have to figure out (within seconds) what is life threatening (currently having a heart attach, turning blue, having to do CPR type of "emergent"), what is highly urgent-(going to go down hill really quickly if someone dont fix something-like when you have a diabetic who hasnt taken there medication in years and show up with a blood sugar that is too high to register on a regular meter-and lab calls to tell you it is 1250), what is  urgent (a broke bone, high fever, or cut activly bleeding etc),  low urgent (a cut that isnt bleeding, but need to be closed up, a sprung ankle, etc) and what is complete BULL****.   I can honestly say, if you have ever seen the show "sanford and son" you have seen the drama I witness daily by people who are trying to get seen quicker.  Some times its a really hard call, other times you just tell them to keep practicing and they will get it.  Can you tell I really need this break?  When I go back to work, my boss lady has assured me that she is going to redo my schedule so that I can again enjoy my job.  I am very happy about that.  Gives me something to look forward to when I go back. 

I fuss alot about the company I work for, but I have to say, I work with the best people around.  There are about 45 different people, and we work very closely with each other every day.  This happens to be one of the best groups I have had the pleasure of knowing.  I dont think that there was one person who did not catch me on my way out and promise me that they would be praying for Brandon.  They all wanted to send him flowers and etc during his surgery, but I had to explain about the hospitals policies.  They understood, and now are putting together an activity kit/basket thingy's to occupy him after his surgery.    You would not believe some of the things they are putting in for him-video games, movies, food, etc.  As I said, they are amazing!

We have been getting things ready for our trip out of town tomorrow.  We are going for his preop appointment.  They will draw blood, urine, and all that stuff and go over the whole process again.  Brandon is handeling this amazingly well (for now).  He can tell you what will be done to him and when and why.  I talked to him a little bit today about how some kids who have surgery wake up and cry and are confused.  I assured him that even though he may wake up and feel that way, we will be there to comfort him.  I am starting to worry already, but I guess that is my job.  Its going to be wierd not only because I am on the opposite side of the healthcare spectrum, but also because of the whole situation.  Me, Bill, and Brandon's mom and stepdad will all be there for him.  I dont know why, but I am so "fearful" about this.  I mean, I dont want to over step my bounds, but yet there may be things I can do, or things I know to do, that may help him out alot.  Do I continue to act as the "mom" I normally am to both him and Raven, and be  by his side the whole time, or is it the proper thing for me to step back?  Should I continue doing what I always do?    Talk about being in an awkward situation.  If any one has any words of wisdom I would sure like to hear them!

We have a little surprise planned for the kids after Brandon's appoinment.  We are taking them to a theme park close to the hospital.  It is going to be a great surprise for them.  One of the first "coasters" Brandon ever road was this crazy "road runner" coaster at six flags in KY.  Well this place has on almost identical to it!  He is going to be so excited.  I dont think Raven will.  I am thinking that it will be me and Brandon doing some riding, and Raven and Bill doing some riding.  Bill and Raven dont do fast or "coaster" type rides.  Me and Brandon do.  Of course I dont take him on the extreme rides, but he surely does enjoy the "mild-extreme" ones. 

I tried to get the kids to count my "vacation change" that I had been saving for 5 months.  They didnt want anything to do with it.  I had planned on letting them keep whatever they counted out to use on our trip.  They simply said no.  I said Ok, and took my pot full of change to the store and let the machine do it.  Well, most of it was quarters and dollars, so it only took about 2 minutes in the machine and I was done.  I ended up with enough to pay for our dongs bording for the next few days so I am happy.  The kids say they are going to take "their" money.  They have been holding on to about $100 each for over a year now.  I am proud of them-yet isnt it odd that they are still not wanting for anything although they are never spending their money?

Raven is becoming more and more beautiful each day.  She is tolerating being cut off of her video games quite well.  It has been over a month since she has got to play them.  She has started finding other interest, and is starting to cheer up o whole lot. We have been working on math and writing a little bit.   She is going to be starting counceling and working with the learning center as soon as she returns from her aunts house.  I actually hate her going to her aunts house at all.  I really want her to have a relationship with that side of her family, however when they show lack of respect for my wishes, as well as encouraging her to "hate" her stepdad, I have to put my foot down.  To top it all off, she travels all that way, and her dad does not even make any effort at all to see her.  As I have said before, he just needs to die.  He is worth more to me dead than alive.  I honestly adore Daisy, one of her aunts.  She is the person other than me that Raven is most alike.  She is very friendly, and never meets a stranger.  Her aunt Jewel is a bitter old bat who thinks that she can do whatever she wants because whatever she says is "right".  This is the lady who raised Raven's sperm donor.  She is the person who never forced this "man" to be responsible or accountable for anything he has ever done.  I hope she is proud of him.  He is an expert at drinking beer, abusing his wife/girlfriend emotionally, verbally and physically, and runnig from anything that requires him to show a little decency or responsibility.  How did I end up with him?  Well-I was looking for a permanate way out of both my mom's house, my friends house, and my friends mom's house-and there he was.  end of story.

Can you tell I had alot on my chest tonight?  I think 90 % of it is nervousness over the upcoming surgery.  Guess I should shut my trap and go-pray for us all.