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College continues: I kept getting straight A's and I was flying through classes at that Community College too fast and too easily. I had established a solid reputation with all my professors and some instructors were using my upcoming semester test scores to set the curve in the classes. In other words, instructors that normally didn't set a score curve on exams started doing so once they saw that I was in the class. Community College had become too easy and too empty for me. I remained persistent with my dad and finally he agreed to meet with the University advisor. When the advisor saw my GPA she insisted that I both could and should enroll into the University right away. She informed my father of the fact that my grades clearly proved that I really was good enough. However, my dad didn't buy it. This wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. Moreover, he was surprised by what the advisor said and I know that deep inside he was telling himself that the advisor obviously didn't know what a failure I was. After all, she didn't know what a high school drop out I was and what a grade school failure I'd been before that and she didn't know what a tramp I was either to go out and get myself raped when I was 17! I was a high-risk student and only an idiot parent would pay for me to go to a University! I was exactly the kind of girl that was going to go out and get herself in trouble-pregnant and then just drop out. This latter part was something my dad told me constantly -- except when he said it he referred to ALL girls getting pregnant and dropping out. I knew he was mincing words on his claim because he also told me stories, about all the hoards of successful women executives he'd known and how smart they were. It really was just girls like me that were no good. I kept going, now perpetually trapped in the Community College. My life was becoming stagnant. I was older than the other students. I had no friends because the Rabbi had moved and "J" had dropped out. We lived in such a rural area that there was no one around to talk to. I wasn't into parties and young person things because my sickness had taught me how to be old no matter that I wasn't sick all the time anymore. I wanted to get into the University but didn't know how. I was still afraid the sickness would return and knock me out of school. I did continue to have a lot of opportunistic infections and I was desperate to get into that University and get my diplomas before I got sick again! In some areas of life I really was and still am incredibly stupid. I'm not about to sugar coat it, I was a complete fool! I was still dodging the associate degree because I was too stubborn to let my education stop there! I turned 21, 22, 23, 24 in the Community College system. Then one summer semester I took a Sociology class and caught my professor's attention, once again with my grades. Near the end of the semester, after a test, I wanted to know my score right away. So he let me follow him into the office area to the scantron grading-machine and we talked while he ran student's tests through. He was a writer and so was I. He was working on a book of poetry and I was a poet too! He needed an assistant and I was available if it would get some of my poetry published in his book. The next class period I brought him some samples of my work. I really thought he'd reject it, laugh at me and then tell me it was horrible. My older sister was also a poet, a published and a much-admired poet, and she never thought much of my work. As it turned out he loved it! He wanted to see more of it! And I was just blown away. Soon he and I were meeting off campus to work diligently on his book. I was a very serious young lady and I worked hard. He soon discovered this and we also became friends. |
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