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I persisted: I kept after my dad to let me see the plastic surgeon who had taken care of my friend's sister (from the drunken driving accident). Eventually my father relented and he said I could see the doctor, but he'd only pay for the surgery if the doctor said it was needed. I was so happy! FINALLY a good and kindly doctor would see me and he'd see the damage and he'd care! I'd heard such wonderful things about this doctor from my friend, beautiful stories about how well this doctor had treated his sister and about the fantastic work he'd done on her! No one would ever know that she'd driven drunk and hit that light post! I didn't know back then that most people, including most doctors, only cared about children who are loved and cherished by their parents. I didn't know that the parent's lack of love or concern or decency towards their children left a mark on the children that others could see. This visible-invisible mark gave (or gives) others automatic permission to be cruel and abusive to those invalidated children -- children like me. I have since found that the mark cut into a child's soul lasts into adulthood. This mark is not typically a physical brand, but it's something else present and indescribable that does seem to exist. Somehow, many horrible people SEE which ones they can hurt, without anything being said in agreement or to the contrary. Perhaps it's a scent which can only be detected by our most primitive senses. Perhaps it's contained in the way abuse victims speak or carry their body -- a sign of victim-hood that oftentimes can't be erased or washed away. |
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