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Mo adventures with Osama.
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Introduction
This website is dedicated
to Ryan, the author of The Mo Files.
This is a clean, funny story about a guy
named Mo. There is a little violence, but it’s okay. Have fun
reading this hilarious story! P.S. A few parts in the story come from things
on television. Try to look for them.
The Story
The Mo Files: Part 1
PG
One
time there was a man named Mo. He was a
best friend with Hibob Hidod
Hidoshi. He
was Carl’s second cousin. Mo did cool
stuff. When he was 8,
Mo built an engine for his lawnmower.
When he was 15, he went to a White Sox game and ran out onto the
field. The security guards tried to
catch him but they couldn’t. Mo ran and ran and ran and um, ran some
more. Finally, the security guards
caught up to him and surrounded him.
Just as someone was about to grab him, he pressed a button on his
jacket and a jetpack came out of his back.
He flew above the stadium and everybody cheered him on. Then his jetpack blew up. He landed on top of the scoreboard. He was unconscious. The game had stopped. Everything was deadly silent. Then some Alaskan water fell from the
sky. Mo stood up and started dancing
on top of the scoreboard. Everyone
cheered and started dancing with him.
A helicopter picked Mo up.
During his ride, Mo threw out the pilot. Mo took control of the helicopter. He flew towards the stadium. They were playing again. Right then, it was between innings. They were having a trampoline contest. Then everyone saw Mo standing on top of the
helicopter. Everybody cheered. Then Mo fell! Everyone gasped. Mo fell and fell and fell and um, fell some
more. Finally
he landed on the trampoline and did a quadruple flip. Then a security guard decked Mo.
The Mo Files: Part 2
PG-13
One time Mo decided he
wanted to visit his second cousin Carl.
Carl lived in Afghanistan. Mo lived in St.
Louis. So Mo bought a plane ticket that would bring him from St.
Louis to Orlando to Niger, to Egypt, and all the way to Afghanistan. Carl met Mo at the airport. Mo took a shotgun and shot Carl. Carl took a bazooka and shot Mo. They both went to the emergency room and were released 3 days later. This is what the sound was like in the
hospital room. Beep…beep…beep…beep…beeeeeeeeeeep…beep…beep…
Next, they went to Carl’s house.
Carl did cool stuff. He had a
boom box and took it on the roof where Mo was. Mo was committing suicide. He fell off the roof. Carl thought Mo was dead. Then he remembered that his house was an
underground hut so the roof was 2 ft. high.
So Mo wasn’t dead! Mo got back up and they listened to some rockin’ music the rest of the day. The next day, they went to a terrorist camp
where they met Osama Bin Laden himself. They each got Osama’s
autograph. Then they tried out some AK-57’s. They were pretty good. Carl
accidentally shot Osama Bin Laden. He killed him. All the Americans cheered. All the Afghanistians
shot him. Carl died. It was a sad day for Mo. He went to Carl’s funeral. Mo went back to St.
Louis and mourned for 5 hrs. 38 min. and 2
sec. Then Mo got a job as a
photographer. He took pictures of
scenery and laser tag. His specialty
was taking pictures of laser tag.
The
Mo Files: Part 3
PG
One time Hibob Hidod Hidoshi
met Mo at a hot dog place. Mo ordered
a cheese dog. It was messy. Hibob ordered a
chilidog. It was messy. Mo and Hibob
decided it would be fun to smash them together so that it would be a cheeli dog. They
smashed them together. Chili, cheese,
bun, dogs, ketchup, mustard, and relish all splattered against the hot dog
place. Then Bill Clinton walked in the
store. Mo said,” What’s goin’ on Billy?”
Then Bill Clinton walked out.
The next day Mo went to the St. Louis Arch. He got in an elevator and went to the top
of the Arch. Mo decided he would do a
publicity stunt. He took a bungee cord
with him. When he got to the top of
the arch, he cut a hole through the top and climbed out. Hibob did cool
stuff. Then Mo attached the bungee
cord and jumped. The bungee cord
snapped. Mo smacked the ground and
kept on going. He saw the Earth’s
center, but he was going so fast that he didn’t blow
up. Next, he found himself in China.
He asked a kid his name. The
kid’s name was Ching Chang Chong. Now that Carl had died, Mo was a second
cousin with Ching Chang Chong. Ching did cool
stuff. All day, Mo and Ching gave tap dancing lessons on the Great Wall of
China, and Mo got a few snapshots of a couple of kids playing laser tag. After that, they went to a hot dog place
where they made cheeli dogs and Bill Clinton walked
in. Mo said, “Billy, what’s your deal,
man?” Then Bill Clinton walked out and
vanished without a trace while playing laser tag.
The Mo
Files: Part 4
PG-13
One time Mo decided to go to Washington Beach. Mo drove all the way to Washington in his Hawaiian swimsuit. That was cool.
When he got to the beach, he got attacked by a girl
in a bikini. It was worth it. Then Mo went swimming. He saw a stingray. He
decided to swim over to the stingray. The stingray swam circles around him.
Mo found a meat cleaver in the sand.
When the stingray was about to sting him, Mo took the cleaver and
slashed the stingray. It was so mad that it stung Mo while the water was turned into blood red. The stingray did cool stuff.
Then it died. Poor stingray. Mo Thought it would be
fun to go on a meat cleaver rampage. He got out of the water. Then, when he
was about to slash someone, Ching Chang Chong knocked him out with a 10 pound weight. Good job Ching. This is what Mo was thinking while he was knocked
out…………………………….. Then he came back to his senses. He looked around for the
meat cleaver but Ching had taken it. Good job Ching. The next day, Mo was still at the beach. And the next day. And the next
day. After being bored, Mo wanted to do something fun. So
he went on top of the roof of the mess hall with a slip n’ slide. He
set it up and slid down. Mo fell off the roof. Right into
the arms of a hot girl. Then the hot girl dropped him and walked away.
Mo decided to go into the water again. A killer shark came. This time, Mo
found a person. He whacked the shark with the person and
went home and started playing laser tag with Ching.
The Mo Files: Part 5
PG
One time, Ching’s
brother came to St.
Louis. His name was Ping Pong.
He was a super villain. He wore
a cape, had a bow and arrow, and a samurai sword. Ping wanted Ching
to join him. Ching
didn’t want to.
At that time, Mo was watching a soap opera while waiting for his tea
to be ready in a kettle. Today, Mo was
in the best mood of his life. Ching ran away from Ping and went to Mo’s
house. Ching
came running in so fast that he tripped over a laser tag gun on a throw rug
and knocked open the teakettle. The
tea spilled all over Mo.
Mo said, “Yeeoww, boy that’s hot! Well, I guess I’m having tea.” He forgave Ching. Ching thought he
was kidding so he ran away with Ping and became a super villain. He wore a cape and had a dagger and a laser
tag gun. Mo took a picture of
him. Then Mo got
fired so he wasn’t a photographer anymore.
Ching went away to Iceland and started beating people up when he got stopped by the Crimson Chin. He went to jail and Mo didn’t
see him again until Part 10. Then Mo
decided to go bowling with someone he’d never met
before. The other guy
took a back swing and it slipped out of his hands. Mo wasn’t paying
attention and it nailed him in the place where it counts. Mo said, “Ho, ho, you got me. That was a good one.” (Remember that Mo was
in the best mood of his life). Then Mo
went home. He got another job as a
bungee jump instructor and every cord snapped that he tried.
The Mo
Files: Part 6
PG
One time Mo went
to the Crooked Building of Pizza in Never Never Land. There, he met a girl named Lisa. Lisa liked Mo.
Mo liked Lisa. Mo asked her
out. She said no. Mo asked her out again. Lisa said no. Mo thought, “The third time’s the
charm.” So he
asked her out one more time. Lisa said
no. Then Mo said goodbye. Mo ordered a pizza from Bennie’s Pizza. It stunk.
It didn’t taste good at all. So Mo listened for
random sounds. He went to a grocery
store. Some guy
yelled out, “Open in aisle 6!” Mo
found a pineapple and threw it at him.
It hit him square in the chest and he died of a heart attack. It must’ve been
football season. The guy had done cool stuff.
Next, Mo started seeing ghosts.
There were some scary some funny, some hilarious, and some, plain old
stupid. Then Mo stopped seeing ghosts
after he tried to stab one with the meat cleaver and it went right through
him. The next day, Mo saw Lisa
again. Her actual full name was Lisa
Mona. She had a mustache. Made by Josh. You ask who Josh is? Well I’m not going
to tell you. Ha! Then Lisa asked out Mo and he said no. Then Mo asked out Lisa and she said…can you guess? Nope.
Because Lisa said yes. So Mo and Lisa
were going out.
5 YEARS LATER
Lisa
dumped Mo. Too bad. Mo put a whoopee cushion under Lisa’s chair as revenge. It worked.
Everyone thought Lisa blew a huge one.
Lisa left. Ha
ha for Lisa.
That’s what you get for dumping Mo.
Now Ching was a second cousin with Captain Jaggery. They went
bungee jumping and smack! Captain Jaggery died.
The Mo Files: Part 7
PG-13
One time, Mo
decided he wanted to go to the North Pole.
And guess who he saw at the North Pole? His old director from
band camp! And
he saw Santa Claus! He was so happy. Then he and Santa Claus went to play on the
new PS2 that Mo was getting for Christmas.
Then Mo annihilated Santa at a game of Gladius. So Santa said,
“I’m not giving you that for Christmas anymore!” So Mo was really
sad. Boo hoo!
Drip. Drip. Ah, ha! Mo’s crying! Ha! So Santa felt
bad. He gave Mo the PS2 for Christmas
after all. Then, next on Mo’s agenda, was visiting his old band director from band
camp. His name was Mr. Hoek. (Ho-ek) Mr. Hoek then
went insane. His most famous saying
was, ‘Jamal is coming.’ No one knew
who Jamal was so they put Mr. Hoek
in a North Pole insanity nightclub. Mo
was disappointed that he couldn’t visit very long
with Mr. Hoek.
But he was delighted to see that it was
December 23 and Santa had a day off from work. Mo said that if Santa didn’t come to his
house first, Mo would never be friends again.
So Santa promised that he would. Then the Grinch
came and ruined Christmas by murdering Santa with a sledgehammer. There wasn’t any
more Christmas for the rest of time.
Mo wanted revenge. He set up a
trap for the Grinch. When he walked into town, Mo turned on a
defroster and the Grinch defrosted and died. That was his weakness you know. So then Mo made
himself Santa, but no one believed him and he went back home and watched
channel thirty-two.
The Mo Files: Part 8
G
One time Mo
decided he wanted to be an astronaut. So he quit his old job and spent months training as an
astronaut. Finally, he got to go on his first mission. The space shuttle that Mo got to go on was
named THIS IS MO’S FIRST SPACE MISSION SO WISH HIM LUCK SHUTTLE. Or in other words,
TIMFSMSWHLS. Mo was really
excited. He
boarded the shuttle and whoosh, there he goes! After they got out of earth’s atmosphere,
Mo wanted something to eat. He decided
to play Chubby Bunny. He got 8
marshmallows. Then he spit them
out. He went for some steak and mashed
potatoes. He put them in his helmet,
so that he could eat it anytime. Then
the crew discovered they had a problem with the engine. So they sent out
Mo to fix it. Mo went out there with a
cord attached to the shuttle. But Mo still had his bungee jumping habits, and the cord
snapped! Oh no! No one even noticed. Then Mo drifted away for a whole 32
years! He didn’t
die though because he had a lot of steak and mashed potatoes. Then Mo saw a black hole coming. He thought he was going to die. Then he got sucked
into the black pole, where not light can escape. Mo thought he was dead. But it was a time
portal to the Middle Ages! “Wow!” said
Mo.
He saw all kinds of stuff, from horses, to King Arthur. Then he jumped into the
black hole and went shooting back through space all the way through the
earth’s atmosphere. He kept on
going through the earth. He landed in China and saw Bill Clinton. He said, “What’s your deal man?” And Clinton walked away.
The Mo
Files: Part 9
PG-13
As you remember in Part
2, Carl had been shot by the Afghans after killing Osama Bin Laden and died. Mo had buried him. One day, Mo decided to go visit Carl’s
gravestone. When he got there, Mo laid
a laser tag gun on the grave in honor of Carl. Then, all of a sudden, Carl’s ghost came up
out of the grave! Mo was so
excited! They played a game of laser
tag with Bill Clinton. Boom! Bill
lost. Too bad. Then Mo and Carl’s ghost went to Iraq where they found
Saddam Hussein hiding in a wine cellar.
He was getting drunk. Mo gave a
sub-machine gun that he found on the ground to Carl’s ghost. Carl’s ghost shot Saddam and he died. All the Iraqi’s came and shot Carl’s ghost;
but the bullets went right through him!
How lucky! Then they went back
to St. Louis, where Mo lived. Carl went back to his grave. Mo quit his job of an astronaut and decided
to become an international spy. He was sent out to North
Korea and killed Kim-Jong
II. Go Mo! When he came back, he was
greeted with a roaring applause.
He climbed up onto a stage and dove into a mosh
pit; but they didn’t catch him! He fell on the ground and some chronically
obese guy (call 1-800 IAM FATT) did a body slam on Mo. Mo broke his elbow and got a cast and
decked the guy.
He then recovered.
The Mo Files: Part 10
PG
One
day Mo decided that he wanted to go scuba diving. He went on to the Internet to buy a ticket
to California. As he got
on the Internet, a pop-up ad came up.
It said, “You are the 59,473rd person on this website! Click here to win a prize!” “All right!” Mo said.
He clicked on the ad where a picture of a car showed up. He clicked on the car and filled out a
bunch of forms on-line. He waited 5
weeks and a car came! It only costed 9,000,000 dollars (that was for shipping and
handling). Mo decided to drive to California with his new car and his scuba gear. Remember that Mo lived in St. Louis. Mo got to
Topeka, Kansas before his new car broke down. It was a Ford. So Mo walked the
rest of the way. He got to Los Angeles 9 months later.
He went scuba diving. But before he did that, he had to get a new car. He bought a Chevy. He drove to New York and back.
Then he went scuba diving. He started
drowning, but then a volcano shot him to the surface and made an island. At that time Ching Chang Chong was in Japan. He saw the
island and went over to claim it. Mo
saw Ching Chang Chong
come and said hi. “Hi Ching Chang Chong; I just
claimed this island!” Ching Chang Chong didn’t like that idea and was really mad at him. So he took out his
bazooka and shot Mo, which killed him.
Sad for Mo.
Conclusion
Well, that’s it folks! Hope you liked it. I sure had fun writing it and showing it to
my friends. I’d
like to thank my friends for supporting me as I wrote this story. I’d also like to
thank my parents and my siblings for supporting me to.
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