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| FRIDAY
November 6, 1998
Tonight's Gig: The Sheraton Grand - Torrey Pines I felt very depressed today. The band was on the front cover of a local magazine. Great, huh? Not really... the feature article on the inside pretty much featured our lead vocalist and band leader, and our tenor saxophonist was recognized for being in the Woody Herman Orchestra. Our guitarist was mentioned for also playing country on the slide guitar. That's all great! But the article didn't mention my drum solos at all! I was extremely depressed, upset and offended that nothing about my drumming was mentioned! I've been with this band for a good part of two years now and I still haven't gotten the recognition I deserve. The only thing that keeps me going are the audiences' applause. But that's what perplexes me about this business. I seem to be avoided in the media, and yet the crowd seems to love what I'm doing on the drums. The band's getting popular, but nothing about me as a drummer comes up in the media. Am I not good enough to be noticed? At what point do I start to get recognition for the many years I've been playing? I'm recognized on stage, but I'm avoided in the media. I guess that is my dream, to be recognized for my gift, my talents. We all want to be noticed. That's what I wish so much right now. It's not even the money, really. It's the recognition for doing the job, for doing a fine drum solo. I guess I have to go back to the drawing board and re-figure everything out. This whole thing is throwing me for a loop. Why am I not being recognized in the media for performing a great drum solo? I bring this up to the band and our bandleader. Our bandleader says he was misquoted in the article, and he was also not happy with what was said in this magazine. Okay, I can believe that and perhaps I can understand. I guess the media is a very scary thing to me now, for people can be misquoted and misinterpreted. Boy, I really feel like becoming seriously ill just knowing that the truth doesn't often come out in the media!!!!!!!! I thought about this music business. Is it worth the sacrifice? I'm sacrificing the time that could be spent more with the family. What price is success in this music business? I've worked so hard on improving my drumming, but I guess it's simply not enough. It makes me want to cry. I'm beginning to get discouraged now, to give up. I don't know what I'll do now, just continue as if nothing happened, business as usual. At least I'm employed in one band that's earning some good money for a working band, and it's great not to be freelancing in seven different bands... very stressful. But then again my current situation is very stressful. I just don't know what to do sometimes. I feel like I'm doomed to suffer. What happened today was extremely bad for me, but it seemed as though no one cared in the band. Everyone just looking out for themselves. I thought this band was a team, was special. It has triggered me into a depression. And going into this tour doesn't make it any better. Again, I don't know what to do... Most Recent CDs Played:
Carlos Rull 
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