{FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: AKU, SHONEN, KYUKE, RYLAND, MARCUS] >Sailor Moon G: KYUKE: ...string. SHONEN: (Announcer voice) Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon G-String: Revenge of the Thong Senshi! >The Guardian Senshi by Aino Rei Neko MARCUS: Cat spirit of love? Or is that Love of cat spirit? Or Cat of love spirit? AKU: It's the bastard genetic composite of Minako, Rei, and Nuku-Nuku, I guess. >Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all the other characters are products of Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, Dic, etc. RYLAND: AUGH! THEY'RE NOT PROPERTY OF DIC! MARCUS: Calm down, Ry-kun, it's just a fanfic. KYUKE: (Kevin MacDonald) A fanfic...OF ULTIMATE EVIL! >My guardians are mine but if you have characters with the same names as mine, I'm sorry, I honestly didn't know. AKU: Yeah, you...uh...you stole all my characters, and, uh...the judge said never write another fanfic! Yeah! RYLAND: You're a bad liar. >This story is mainly focusing on the fact that the other Sailors had warriors who protected them. SHONEN: Yeah, Ami had a water gun, Makoto had a sacred guardian tree, Mamoru had a special rose garden, Haruka had a magical race car, Michiru was protected by sentient sea slugs, Hotaru had a fluffy daimon egg, and Setsuna was under the protection of ethereal teabags. RYLAND: What about the Starlights? And the Animamates? Or the Amazoness Quartet? Or ChibiChibi? SHONEN: Dude, shut up. >The main "guardian" Kat, has a lot going on so the first few episodes are mainly nothing KYUKE: That's right, they're mainly nothing! >but talk AKU: ~ Hey everybody can you walk the walk? But you gotta back it all up, you gotta talk the talk! ~ MARCUS: Ugh, that song is so annoying! >and plot forming. I also have to say that Kat has a real hot temper just like Rei. I also did this in chapters because it is easier for me. KYUKE: (author) Easier for me to rip off Rei than to create an original character, that is! >Kat knows who the Sailors are but I don't plan on telling you how she met them just yet. SHONEN: Fine. Do you think we care or something? >This takes place after SailorStars but I haven't seen any of the episodes past SailorMoonR RYLAND: NOOOOOOOOO! NOT ONE OF THESE! AKU: I'm scared... (Everyone shoots Aku a look.) SHONEN: You're six foot four and you weigh about two hundred pounds. I REALLY don't think you have anything to be afraid of. >so please don't hurt me! ALL: (disappointed) Awww... KYUKE: Can I suck out all her blood if I promise not to hurt her? SHONEN: I wish... >I'm an amatuer at this but I'm trying. Honest! MARCUS: Trying your best to ruin our lives, that is! >Dedicated to my absolute best friend Carrie Cross who has supported me so much in my writing and is making sketches of my characters as I am writing this. AKU: I doubt that stick figures count as sketches. >Hope you like it!! SHONEN: If fanfic authors don't want us to laugh at them, then why on earth do they think we'll enjoy their stupid bloody fanfiction? >"= talking MARCUS: (sarcastically) Gee, we never woulda figured THAT one out! > '= thinking RYLAND: I doubt there will be much of that. >(SS)= author's notes or comments >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHONEN: Hey, line joke time. KYUKE: But they aren't asterisks! AKU: Can I have it? **ahem** Wow, that ivy's really overgrown! SHONEN: Well, that was lame... >Katrina Linnier got off the bus and looked around.It had been two years since she had visited last but it seemed like twenty. Her long brown hair was blown to her side as she looked around, her chocolate eyes shining. MARCUS: Mmmm, chocolate eyeballs! >Tokyo hadn't changed much after she had left. Then again, KYUKE: Then again, she'd only been away for ten minutes. RYLAND: Uh, it said two- KYUKE: I know, but I couldn't think of anything else. >her life hadn't changed much either. SHONEN: ...as she didn't have one in the first place. KYUKE: Like the author. >How could it without him? KYUKE: That's how I felt after Kurt Cobain died. >She could still remember his face, RYLAND: ...and wished that she couldn't. >his raven black hair cut perfectly framing his face, AKU: ...his fluffy pink ballet tutu perfectly primped... MARCUS: Uh-oh, is this a Mamo-Spam fic? >his cool blue eyes shining as he looked at her, AKU: (Mamoru) Duh, boobies...Mamoru like bouncy boobies. >and his voice was the most soothing that there ever could be. (All laugh like Fran Drescher.) >That was the reason why she came back; to see him, and to talk to him. MARCUS: Not to mention lay him in the back of her dad's Chevy. >She immediately took off in the direction of the neighborhood where she had first met him. SHONEN: (announcer voice again) Sailor Moon G: The story of Katrina and Mamoru, lovers who met while whoring and pimping, respectively, in Roppongi-ku. >She couldn't wait to see him. SHONEN: I could, though. AKU: Same here. KYUKE: But you're both straight, so it doesn't count as much. RYLAND: Well, I happen to LIKE Mamoru. MARCUS: ... (He bops Ryland lightly on the shoulder.) RYLAND: (shrieking) OWWWWWWWWW! OW OW OW OW OW!!! MARCUS: Oh come on, I barely hit you! RYLAND: WIFE-BEATER! KYUKE: Heh heh. >Serena RYLAND: DUBBING?! (He bursts into furious tears and clutches Marcus desperately.) MARCUS: There, there...hey, have you been working out? (Shonen looks away and makes a face.) >walked down the sidewalk on the way to her friend Ami's house. She couldn't wait to tell Ami that Darien had asked her if she wanted to go out on a date with her on Saturday. AKU: So Mamoru set Usagi and Ami up? Weird... KYUKE: No no, DARIEN set SERENA and Ami up. I guess he wanted to be a free man, and decided to set his girlfriend up with a more human clone of her friend AMY. >She started to reminise about all that had happened. MARCUS: (Serena) Tee hee, Darien! I love you, Muffin! RYLAND: (Darien) Duh, me wants to break up with you. MARCUS: (Serena) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? RYLAND: (Darien) Duh, me not know. MARCUS: (Serena) WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! RYLAND: (Darien) okay, me change mind. Me love you again. MARCUS: (Serena) YAAAAAAAAAAAY! >They loved each other KYUKE: Like Sid Vicious loved Nancy Spungen. >and that was all that mattered. SHONEN: No, all that matters is the MERCHANDISING! >She hurried on down the street and burst into Ami's door. AKU: EEEEEEW! KYUKE: (Ami) Dammit, Usagi exploded all over the door again! RYLAND: Serena. KYUKE: Whatever. >"Ami! Guess what!" AKU: (Serena) I'm pregnant! SHONEN: (Serena) I'm gay! KYUKE: (Serena) I was chosen for Survivor 2! RYLAND: (Serena) I found my missing chromosome! MARCUS: (Serena) Mamoru's a girl! >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ KYUKE: ~ The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah! ~ >Neko-chan: HAHAHAHA! SHONEN: (Neko-chan) I put the Senshi in a crappy fanfic! >I'll let you read that much first. KYUKE: Gee, thanks, O Magnanimous One. >You have no idea what is going to happen do ya? RYLAND: Stupid crap. Lots and lots of stupid crap. >Alexandra (my sister): Don't be an idiot! MARCUS: Alexandra, I think you're talking to the wrong person there. >Of course they don't know what's going to happen! SHONEN: Yes, we do...stupid crap. Lots and lots and lots of stupid crap. >You haven't given the next chapter to the people who put it on the website yet! N: What do you know? This is my story anyway! Why are you here? AKU: Why are any of us here? Why do we exist? What is the purpose of our being on Earth? >A: You wrote me in! N: Why you little pipsqueak! RYLAND: (Neko-chan) How DARE you remind me of the obvious truth! >If I get my hands on you-! KYUKE: ...it will be incest. >Never mind I have story I need to finish. MARCUS: No pressure now...please don't feel that you HAVE to... >Send your questions, comments, flames, whatever to me. AKU: Flames? As in fire? As in burn, baby, burn? SHONEN: Don't even, Adrian... AKU: But- SHONEN: No. AKU: Damn... >The address is under my name at the bottom. Bye peoples!! ALL: BYE! >Come here you brat!! MARCUS: Hey! I'm not going anywhere, and I'm NOT a brat! >A: Ahhh! Not the delete key!! AHHH!! RYLAND: NOT THE DELETE KEY! DEAR GOD, NO! KYUKE: This whole fic could benefit from the delete key. >-Neko-chan hinoreineko@go.com SHONEN: As in go f- RYLAND: Eh-eh, no.