>Vincent felt the energy in the room change, and hissed when he saw 
the tall man standing there. "Sephiroth!"

"Stop." Cloud warned. He pushed Sephiroth behind him and looked 
around, his eyes threatening anyone who tried to lay a hand on his 
friend. It would have been amusing to see the smaller, slimmer Cloud 
trying to block the nearly gigantic man if the expression on his face 
had not been one of pure determination.

SEPHIROTH; GIGANTIC?!
SELPHIE: Gee, really been hitting the Snickers lately, huh?

>Sephiroth gently moved him aside and stepped into the center of the 
room, where he kneeled in a bow of entreaty: one hand on his chest, 
one extended to the side, his head down in shame. ''Please..."

"You monster!": Tifa said, her voice thick with hate like Vincent had 
never heard before. "You're asking us to listen to you?"

MATT: (Sephiroth) Um, I only said "please"…
CLOUD: (Sephiroth) In fact, I was gonna ask if I could please use 
your bathroom, but uh…nevermind…

>"If Keira didn't love you so goddamn much, I swear I'd put a bullet 
in the center of your worthless, twisted face!" Vincent practically screamed. He could feel the blood rush to his cheeks.

SELPHIE: This fic is Mood Swing City.

>Cid let loose a long story about Sephiroth's possible parentage, 
sexual habits, and probably destination. He eloquently stated several 
biologically impossible acts he claimed to want to see Sephiroth 
perform, and a number of equally creative words about what he would do 
to Sephiroth himself followed.

SEPHIROTH: I always liked the guy ^_^

>When Cid had begun to stutter and repeat himself, 

CALLIE: Hey, you guys, don't you think Dennis Leary would be the BEST 
Cid ever in a live-action FF7 movie?
MATT: DUDE! Totally!

>Sephiroth spoke. 

CALLIE: (Sephiroth) Can you repeat the part about me and the 
"unnatural goat love" again?

>Vincent had never heard Sephiroth's real voice, only when 

CLOUD: …he was playing with his ventriloquist's dummy, Geraldo.

>Jenova's snakelike echo had been heard behind them, the soothing, 
deep tone slightly demented. "I don't blame you. I don't blame any of 
you. If I were in your position, I'd probably kill me on first sight, 
no questions asked." He raised her head, 

MINAKO: O_O So, um, Seph, when did you get the operation?
SEPHIROTH: (in a high voice) No wonder my pants feel funny!

>strands of silver hair falling in his face and framing those 
beautiful Mako eyes.

CALLIE: **drool** Guh….uhhhhh….yummmmm….wha? Heh heh heh…
SEPHIROTH: Damn, I'm good.
SELPHIE: Then again, it's Callie. She'd react the same way if it said 
"Cloud raised his head, strands of yellow hair falling in his face 
etc etc etc"…or whoever.

>Vincent had never noticed Sephiroth's beauty, 

CLOUD: Seeing as how he's STRAIGHT AND ALL!

>the smooth, sensual, gorgeous attributes of the man. 

SEPHIROTH: My head's getting so swelled, I won't be able to walk 
through the door.

>When Vincent thought about Sephiroth's face, he thought of 

MINAKO: …Sephiroth's OLD face, before all the plastic surgery…
MATT: We've secretly replaced Sephiroth with Michael Jackson; let's 
see if anyone notices.

>it broken and covered with blood. 

(Callie bursts into tears)
SEPHIROTH: Wow, I love you, too! ^_^

>He didn't remember the incandescent angel this man once was.
"But you have to listen to me. It wasn't entirely my fault!"
"Bullshit!" Cid snapped.

CLOUD: STOP BLAMING THE COW FECES!

>"No." Sephiroth said. "I promise you that."

CALLIE: **sniff** (Sephiroth) It was DUCK shit.

>'What good is your promise?" 

MATT: ~I promise not to lie when you're all mine…I promise not to cry 
when you go your way and I go mine…~ …is that how it goes?
MINAKO: Eh, close enough.

>Cloud asked. "Even I don't trust you."

SEPHIROTH Oh, boo-bloody-HOO.

>Sephiroth's eyes clouded over for a moment. "You hold long grudges, 
Cloud-chan."

SELPHIE: What else is long?
SEPHIROTH: My…sword…eheheheh
CLOUD: Ugh….

>"Get on with it." Cloud said, folding his arms.

MINAKO: (Mills Lane) LET'S GET IT ON!

>Sephiroth stood. "I'm not asking for your trust or forgiveness. 

MATT: (Sephiroth) I am, however, asking if for only $19.99 you'd like 
to buy the COMPLETE set of Encyclopaedia Britannica plus a free toaster-

>All I am asking for is that you listen."

MATT: ~That's all I ask of you…~
CLOUD: You were really reaching on that one.
MATT: Oh, don't get your pants in a festival.

>'What if we don't believe what he hear?" Tifa asked, glaring.
"Then I will leave you all alone." Sephiroth said. His voice was thick 
with misery. "I'm used to being left out of things. I don't want 
people who aren't my enemies to fear me. I will go away and you will 
not ever hear of me again."

SEPHIROTH: (Bursting into huge, wialing mock-sobs) 
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOBODY LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! BOOOOO-
HOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO….!

>Cloud made a little strangled noise in his throat. 

MINAKO: (Motherly) Chew exactly one hundred times before you swallow, 
Cloud dear.

>Sephiroth glanced back at him, a tortured look on his face. The blond 
man shook his head, and waved for Sephiroth to continue.

CLOUD: (Himself) I'm fine, I'm fine, just choking to death, nothing to 
worry about, I look good in blue anyways….

>"the Jenova cells Hojo implanted in me are receptors. They allow 
Jenova to enter my mind and body and us it at will. 

CALLIE: Whooo, THAT has the potential for naughtiness!
SEPHIROTH: Hey! Don't you be dissin' my momma!

>The potential for her overtaking me was always inside of my body, it 
just took some big shock to knock me into the danger zone of sanity."

MINAKO: No wonder poor Sephiroth never could get any…naked boobs 
caused him to go over the edge.
(Sephiroth glares in that oh-so-Sephiroth way. Minako cowers.)
SEPHIROTH: Keira, get her out of here!
KEIRA: Rightio! (Minako disappears)

>"Even without the treatments, I'm not a sane man. 

SELPHIE: (Sephiroth; Forrest Gump) Ah'm not a smart man, but ah know 
what love is.

>But I wasn't always dangerously so. It was that one little thing that 
blew my mind, and made ME the puppet." 

CALLIE: So…what the hell?
CLOUD: It must have been THAT GRIN-

>He turned to Cloud, and grasped him by the shoulders. 

SEPHIROTH: And shook the living daylights out of him.

>"Cloud, YOU are the one that is real. I am only a vessel for Jenova's 
power."

CALLIE: I thought neither of you were real!
SEPHIROTH: I thought I was real and Cloud wasn't!
CLOUD: I thought we were both real!
MATT: I thought Hojo was pretty damn sexy, once you looked at him right.
(Selphie gags)

>"You are Lucrecia's child, even if you are what you are. I will 
respect you as such." Vincent said quietly.

CALLIE: Awww! That's sooooooooo sweet!

>"Likewise, Keira's feelings for you would make it quite difficult for 
me to kill you."

CALLIE: GAH!
MATT: Jesus, she's like herpes: spreading everywhere!

>Cloud's eyes were filled with tears. 

SELPHIE: Well, that makes more sense than 'Cloud's eyes were filled 
with delicious Hostess products".
(Everyone gives Selphie a LOOK.)
SELPHIE: Oh, so sue me.

>"Sepphy-kun…"
Sephiroth shook his head and backed away. "Cloud, please. This is not 
the time for this."

SELPHIE: (Cloud) BUT I WANT YOUR HOT MAN CHOWDER! (He rips his shirt 
half off)
CLOUD: AUGH!
CALLIE: (Innocently) Boston or New England?
SEPHIROTH: (Even more innocently) The white kind, I assume?

>"I'm out of here. It's stuffy as hell." Cid started to get up.

CALLIE: Well, no wonder! You're wearing polyester.

>"Sit down." Vincent said stiffly. 

SEPHIROTH: I just said this wasn't the time or the place, dammit!

>"Listen."
"Thank you." Sephiroth began pacing. 'Keira and I are the only ones 
who know what to do in the face of adversity-namely, Jenova and Hojo."

MATT: (Sephiroth) That's because we're the SI and the author's 
favorite character. Nyah nyah!

>"they're both dead." Tifa said.

CLOUD: i hate it when people don't use capitals.

>"No, they aren't." Sephiroth stopped. 

MATT: In the name of love?

>"There is consciousness in the Lifestream. Jenova's power was
temporarily dimmed, but it was enough to revive herself. She lies 
again under the mountains, regenerating her power for future use. As 
for Hojo, he has clones in every town on every continent. You can't 
kill him."

CALLIE: Hey, that's a pretty spiffy concept. This fic ain't TOO bad…
SEPHIROTH: THIS GRIN-
CALLIE: Oh, come off it.

>"But Keira could, couldn't she?" Vincent asked.
"Keira is invincible." 

ALL: GAG ME!

>Sephiroth replied. "But, she needs strong backing to fully extend her 
powers. People such as we who know the fullness of ShinRa's wrongdoing."

SEPHIROTH: Damn, I'm eloquent.
CLOUD: You probably have a Bbritish accent, too.

>Cid's lips were still set in 

CALLIE: …Jell-O.

>a hard line. Tifa still looked a bit upset. But Vincent knew they 
would come around. After all, if he believed Sephiroth, they certainly 
could.

MATT: Just like in "The Amazon Qualet"! They all have a group mind!
CLOUD: Except they're not led by Yuffie.

>And Cloud. /LOOK at him! \ Vincent thought fondly. 

(Everyone turns towards Cloud and looks at him.)
CALLIE: Needs to shave.
SEPHIROTH: Kinda smelly.
MATT: Socks don't match.
SELPHIE: Gained a little weight lately.
CLOUD: Ha HA. You are all so FUNNY.

>The sweet, almost childlike face with those tormented eyes was soft 
whenever he looked at the silver-haired man. 

(Cloud looks at Sephiroth, gags, and shrugs.)

>Cloud trembled in Sephiroth's presence, out of fear…and out of love. 

MATT: Ah…wacky…?

>Vincent had to smile at him then.

CALLIE: (Vincent) Tee-hee, you die first!

>"I will help you." he replied softly. 'All of AVALANCHE will help you."
"I wouldn't go that far" Cid said wryly, "But I think I may as well tag along 
and see what stupid shit you're gonna do this time."
"I'll help you out. Just don't talk to me." That was Tifa. Vincent 
understood it. She was fighting with her mortal enemy and she wasn't 
happy about it, but she was doing it anyways.

SELPHIE: Um…why?
CLOUD: (Cuttingly) Maybe she has a crush on Keira. That would make it 
just about everyone in the fic, wouldn't it?

>"Sephiroth…" Cloud began, but he shook his head. "I will always 
support you."

SELPHIE: (Cloud) I will always be your bra.

>Sephiroth looked around and grinned. It was a surprisingly cheerful 
expression. "Thank you. Thank you all so much."

SEPHIROTH: …for nothing! Ya punks! MWAHHAAHAHA!

>7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

MATT: OH MY GOD! A PROCESSION OF PRAYING MANTISES! GET THE RAID!
EVERYONE: ….
MATT: I feel ashamed now.

>She was sitting on the beach, throwing pebbles idly into the sea when 
Cloud came out of Cid's house. She looked over at him with an 
expression of calm certainty on her face. 

CLOUD: "She" needs more pronouns.

>Cloud walked over and sat down beside her. For a few minutes, no one 
spoke.

CALLIE: (Keira) Wanna fuck?
MATT: (Cloud) Guesso.

>Then Cloud said quietly, "What did you do?"
"Nothing, for once. 

CALLIE: I like her ^_^

>Sephiroth told you all the bare truth of the matter." Keira 
responded, her eyes fixed on the setting sun. The fire of the sky was 
reflected in her eyes, her hair a few shades darker but richer than 
the orange glow on the horizon. "I'm quite proud of him."

SEPHIROTH: Oh, did I go to the potty by myself again?

>She was so beautiful… "Me too." Cloud said, 

CLOUD: Damn straight I'm beautiful!

>feeling vaguely nervous.
As if she guessed his thoughts, Keira looked at him, her lovely face a 
mask of knowledge and pain. She took his chin in her hand and looked 
at him ponderingly. "I wonder what a beautiful boy such as yourself 
would do if I kissed him?" she asked, almost casually.

CLOUD: I HATE THAT PHRASE!
SEPHIROTH: Huh?
CLOUD: "Beautiful boy". It makes me feel like a character from J-Rock yaoi.
CALLIE: Mmmmm, J-rock yaoi…

>Cloud gently pushed her hand away from his face, took her in his arms, 
and kissed her deeply. 

CLOUD: AH, SWEET JESUS!
MATT: (Marking off on a notebook) That's five…

>She tasted so sweet. He moaned as he felt her tongue slide against 
his like hot silk.

SEPHIROTH: (Cloud) Owie! Rugburn!

>Then, just as suddenly, she was gone, running towards the house. 
Cloud turned to watch her go, then cursed and threw a handful of sand 
into the water. You could dump every grain of sand in the world in 
there, he thought bitterly, and it still wouldn't make a bit of 
difference. Water rises as long as it can.

SELPHIE: Yeah…oooookay…nice analogy there, Chocobo Head.
CLOUD: Oh, screw you with a wet dishrag.

>And what had come over him just then? Cloud never let his hormones 
get the best of him. But kissing Keira had seemed so right, so 
necessary. He loved Sephiroth and always would. But then again, there 
was something about her…

MATT: ~ There's just something about Keira…. ~