>Tifa crossed her arms. "Here he comes." MATT: ~HEEEEEEEEEERE he is, MISTER AMEEEERRRRRICAAAAA! ~ (Cloud waves like the Queen) >Vincent sat like a demented bat in the corner of the room. Cid growled and chewed a bit on his cigarette. MINAKO: …immediately staining his remaining teeth black. >Cloud knocked, SEPHIROTH: The door was trying to get in. >and she let him in. For a moment, she just looked at him: this compact, SELPHIE: …car? >deliciously muscled warrior, CALLIE: ~ He's magically delicious! ~ >with his solemn, childlike face and spiky, yellow-blond hair. A small gold earring sparkled in his left ear. CALLIE: **drool** MATT: **slobber** CLOUD: OTAKU! >_< >Tifa didn't let his beauty overwhelm her this time. Instead, she slapped him hard across the face. CLOUD: Nobody likes meeeee… ;_; >Cloud's head stayed turned to the side. SELPHIE: Ouch! Musta been a hard slap. SEPHIROTH: That always seems to happen in this fic… >He breathed hard. For a moment, no one spoke. Then he said quietly, CALLIE: (Cloud) Thank you. I needed that. >"Listen to me. All of you." and pushed past her gently into the house. For a second long moment, he seemed to be surveying Cid's home with a kind of frightened determination. Then, he said: CALLIE: (Cloud) I'm a woman trapped in a man's body. SEPHIROTH: (Cloud) I'm hungry! CLOUD: (himself) I'm OOC. MATT: (Cloud) I need a tampon. MINAKO: (Cloud) Sephiroth and I are soon to be mommies! SELPHIE: (Cloud) ………. >'When I was just starting out in SOLDIER, I fell in love with Sephiroth." MINAKO: Considering, I think everyone would be less surprised to hear that he had dilated. >Vincent turned even paler, CLOUD: …immediately becoming invisible… >his veins showing up lavender on his parchment face. "No." he whispered, almost imperceptibly. Cloud's eyes flickered towards him. "Vincent-" "You disgusting bastard." SEPHIROTH: HEY! MATT: Awwww, poor Sepphy. CALLIE: Is this an angst fic? SELPHIE: I think so. >Vincent said, even lower this time. "I wish I'd never met you. I wish I'd never touched you. I wish you'd fucking DIED there with your darling psychopath." MINAKO: All in all, though, some of this is good. >'Shut up." Cloud said simply. Vincent shut up. MATT: (Tifa) Oh, Cloud, you're so manly and forceful…wanna rearrange my silicon? >There was a steely tone in Cloud's voice that Tifa had never heard before, and it was frightening. 'He wasn't evil then. CALLIE: (Cloud; Dr. Evil) He was semi-evil. He was quasi-evil. He was the Diet Coke of evil- just one calorie, not evil enough! >He was strong, and funny, and intelligent, and bright…and…" His eyes glazed a bit. MATT: (Cloud) Duhhhh, Sephiroth shiny. Cloud likey! >"…so beautiful…" ALL: ~ You are so beautiful…. ~ MATT: ~ …to Cloud… ~ >"You're sick." Cid snapped. "You two were practically licking each other out there. Exactly what the hell is he DOING here?" CLOUD: Apparently, licking me. >"That's the other part…Sephiroth's old fiancée-" "Fiancée?" Tifa asked, curious in spite of herself. Cloud looked at her. "This woman, Keira Halyenne-" SELPHIE: (Cloud) Shut up, bitch, this is MY story! >Vincent stood up, knocking his chair over. "Keira Halyenne?!" Now he was flushed. SEPHIROTH: She's got an Aura of Smooth! KEIRA: Fourth wall, buddy. SEPHIROTH: Sorry. >"Where is she?" "I'm right here." Tifa drew in her breath sharply at the woman who emerged from seemingly nowhere. (Everyone jumps in their seats a little.) SELPHIE: Gyaaaah! I hate that! >Tall, incredibly beautiful, dark red hair and silver eyes that seemed both ageless and heartless. MINAKO: Because as we all know, your heart is located in your skull. >The woman had a look on her face of perfect MATT: …stupidity. >calm, of the total absence of fear. It made Tifa feel both safe and confused. Vincent's dark red eyes were fixed on her. "Kei-chan…" he breathed, huddled up on the chair and staring at her from about level with his upthrust knee. CLOUD: Ouch! CALLIE: How do you jam your knee up your nose?! >"You're not dead." SEPHIROTH: (Keira) Gee, you're quick on the bloody uptake, aren't you? >As the woman walked past Tifa, the other woman felt a strong sense of POWER. CALLIE: …but THIS POWER- THIS POWER was dreadful to- SELPHIE: Oh, cut it out. >An aura this strong was comparable with only one other's… MINAKO: (deep) Janet Reno. >Sephiroth, of course. Now Keira was hugging Vincent, the two of them locked in a desperate embrace. SEPHIROTH: I take it back. She's got an Aura of SLUT. >Tifa looked back to Cloud, to her surprise, also looked perplexed. MATT: This, again, was nothing new. >"What's going on?" she asked quietly, still trying to maintain a note of cold fury in her voice. CLOUD: Sadly, it came out more like Donald Duck. >Cloud shrugged. "Seph mentioned something about Vincent being her uncle" he said in a low voice "but, SELPHIE: (Cloud) …he's been off his medication lately and keep asking me where I left my duck. >it can't be so biologically. Vincent doesn't have any brothers or sisters, he told me." Seph. "You two have little nicknames for each other, now?" Tifa hissed. CALLIE: (Cloud) Yes. I call him Kootchy-cheeks and he calls me Ooga-Booga-Baby-Doll. CLOUD: Ugh, that's repulsive…! >She couldn't believe this. SELPHIE: Tifa embraced her atheism. >"Everyone used to call him Seph, Tifa." Cloud said. Now Keira was laughing, her voice surprisingly strident for that feminine frame. MATT: (super-deep) I am woman, hear me roar. >Vincent was actually smiling-something Tifa had never even seen him do. "Stop acting this way." CLOUD: (Tifa) Stop being out of character, goddammit! >Tifa glared at him and turned away. Unconsciously, she stroked the place on her side where the wound from the silver-haired man's sword had been. Now it was only a long white scar-not even all that noticeable, for all she'd done to preserve it as a memento from Nibelheim. MINAKO: The thing is, they're OOC, but they're really INTERESTING. CLOUD: As opposed to what, pray tell? MINAKO: Well, um… (Cloud and Sephiroth glare at her)…ah…er…VENUS STAR POWER, MAKE-UP! CLOUD: Doesn't work in here. MINAKO: Phooey. >"Acting what way?" she muttered under her breath. "As if I didn't have a perfect right to!"\ CALLIE: (Tifa) I have a permit! >Vincent stood up, holding Keira's hand. Cloud looked at him quizzically, the older man was now GRINNING- MATT: …but THIS GRIN- >ear-to-ear, life-is-good, happy-happy-joy-joy. SELPHIE: Vincent was in a state of Prozac-induced spiffiness. >Keira cleared her throat. "Ummm…hi, nice to meet all of you." she said, holding her free hand out to Tifa. She stepped forward and shook it. SEPHIROTH: You know nobody likes you when you have to shake your own hand. >Keira's grasp belied her hidden strength. / It's like getting my hand caught in a vise! \ Tifa thought with amazement. SELPHIE: …withdrawing her now completely crushed and mangled hand. >The other woman offered her hand to Cid as well, but the blond man just glowered. CALLIE: Keira then took a teabag out of her pocket, dangled it in front of Cid's face, and threw it out the window. Cid dove after it and fell to his death. CLOUD: Was there any point to that? CALLIE: 'Course not! ^_^ Sillypants! >Keira shrugged. "Listen to me" she said, and Tifa caught just the barest hint of a North Continent accent. ALL: Bork bork bork! >"Sephiroth has been returned to his former self; he's no more dangerous to you all than a bunny rabbit." CALLIE: Awwwww, cute widdle bun-bun Sepphy! (Sephiroth is suddenly clothed in a black vinyl and fishnet jumpsuit, complete with a pair of bunny ears and cottontail.) SEPHIROTH: Very funny, Keira. KEIRA: (changing him back to normal) I was just curious… >"That 'bunny rabbit' killed quite a few innocent fucking people." Cid said furiously. CLOUD: They thought it was only going to bite their bums, but NOOOOOO…! >"Look, lady, I don't know what you have to do with all this-" Tifa's first impression of Keira's immense anger was that of a snake uncoiling itself. The woman's body drew up, making her seem impossibly tall. Her eyes darkened to pewter, and those beautiful lips parted in a slight snarl. "What I have to do with 'all this'? I'm the reason Jenova didn't fully control Sephiroth in the first place! I'm the one who made him human again! I am the one who drew on this planet's last supply of Mako energy to aid Holy-" CALLIE: (Keira) I am an overpowerful self-insertion character! >Keira's eyes suddenly widened. "N…never mind me!" She turned away quickly, the furious creature she had just been dissolving like mist in the sunlight, then whirled back around, her voice steely cold. "Without me, you would not be here." SELPHIE: Eeeew, she's everyone's MOM?! CLOUD: Ugh. SEPHIROTH: I feel so dirty. >The woman pushed Tifa not-so-gently out of her way as she left. Tifa looked after her in shock. What had that all been about? She looked over to the others for answers. CALLIE: (Vincent) It's a fanfic. SEPHIROTH: (Cid) It's a fanfic. CLOUD: (himself) Fanfic, Tifa. MATT: (Tifa) Duh, ohhhh… >Vincent was still smiling. 'I knew it! I knew that was her!' he whispered, elated. He looked at them all and stretched out his hands imploringly. "Don't you see? Keira's the one who called upon the Mako energy that stopped Meteor!" CALLIE: Er…um…no, no, I don't see at all. >"What about Aeris?" Cloud asked. MATT: She SUCKS! >Vincent shook his head. "Aeris…Aeris is dead, Cloud. I don't care what visions you saw. SELPHIE: (Vincent) Dammit, who gives a shit about plot?! The important thing is that the SI looks good! >Only Keira has the power to control the Lifestream, her and Jenova." "Where do you know Keira from? And how did you learn all this? Tifa inquired, her body ablaze with CALLIE: ….arousal. SEPHIROTH: Kerosene. > curiosity. "When…Hojo locked me away in that coffin in the basement…you don't honestly think someone could survive in there for thirty-seven years without eating or breathing fresh air, do you? MATT: (Tifa) Well, Vincent, it IS a video game… >Not even the most advanced scientific techniques and cybernetics can accomplish that, especially not back in the pre-war days of ShinRa. After a few years, the life support was failing and I was pretty much dead…" >"Don't be sad, Mister." Such a beautiful child, with long red hair and inquisitive gray eyes. She held out a flower and somehow Vincent's prison walls disappeared, leaving him standing in an empty sea of black velvet. Yet somehow the air was fresh, and he could feel soft breezes all around him. Faintly, Vincent could hear birds singing, water flowing, children's voices, and his heart gave a sudden twist- not for Lucrecia, not for his bitter end, but for LIFE, for the real world outside the dust-covered walls of the ShinRa mansion. He reached out and took the flower, noticing with dismay how skeletal his hands were now. Hadn't he once been a handsome man? He was too tired to remember. CALLIE: MMM, Vinny yummy! >It was a dark red rose, Vincent's favorite flower. MINAKO: Goodness, do I smell a cliché? >He remembered how to smile. Even if it was only a vision he was seeing due to his lack of nutrition and impending death, he was determined to seem human. The little girl stared at him, her immaterial form surrounded by a golden light. "Why do you think you're gonna die?" she asked, purely innocent. Her eyes were so big… SELPHIE: She was SD! >"Because, my little one, there is nothing left to live for." She didn't seem to like this, and stamped her small foot. "'Course there is! There always is! You're not dead yet, so quit actin' like a dweeb and keep living!" Her words took Vincent by surprise. "I've faded…" he murmured to himself. SEPHIROTH: (Vincent) I didn't use colorsafe bleach… >"No." And suddenly, Vincent was being lifted into the air-or pseudo- air. The little girl looked up at him steadily. "You think you're dreaming? You're not! I'm real! I came to see you because I felt a…ummm…pre-scence." She sounded the word out uncertainly, and Vincent saw she couldn't have been more than six years old. "You were sad. I want to cheer you up!" And she did. For years and years, the young girl visited him,. Always making him laugh, always listening to him. She had an answer for his every question. CLOUD: (Vincent) What's the meaning of life? CALLIE: (Child) Ponies are pretty! CLOUD: (Vincent) Who created the world? CALLIE: (Child) I like apple juice. CLOUD: (Vincent) What's the square root of 79864? CALLIE: (Child) Um…**giggle** heehee! >She was an angel to Vincent, calling him her 'uncle' and always bringing him little things made of dreamstuff: flowers, gemstones, and other small tokens of her affection. He watched this Keira SEPHIROTH: (disgusted) Will it never END? >grow from the precocious young child into an achingly beautiful young woman, shared her hopes and hardships, and on one lonesome occasion sang a song to comfort her. He was no singer, but SELPHIE: --neither is Britney Spears, and look at HER! >she seemed happy with it. Then one day, she had just disappeared. Five years later, Cloud Strife released him from his prison… >'Wow" breathed Tifa. "That's amazing!" MINAKO: (Tifa, breathy) I can't believe it's not butter! >Cid grunted. MATT: Cid's really not getting a fair characterization here. >Cloud simply looked thoughtful. ALL: Yeah, right! CLOUD: HEY! >Vincent stood looking out of the window, filled with joy at seeing her in reality for the first time. And Sephiroth walked in. SEPHIROTH: I SAUNTERED in.