>Let's do another one. CALLIE and MATT: ~ Let's do the Time Warp agaaaa-aaain! ~ >As before, I don't own Gundam Wing, SELPHIE: And he thought this was going to change how...? >I don't own Jepordy, Jepordy belongs to whoever it belongs to, SEPHIROTH: Old white guys. >and Gundam Wing belongs to CALLIE: SATAN! >Bandai, I think... anyway on with the funny> KYUKE: I wish. ((AUTHOR'S NOTE: Again, I don't mean any author-bashing in here ^_^;;)) >*Jepordy music plays* CALLIE: Eeeew, now it's Milli Vanilli! >Alex Trebek: Hello and welcome to another edition of Celebrity Jepordy. I didn't want to do another one but The company forced me. SELPHIE: It's not just a company, it's not just the company: it's THE company, and don't you forget it! >Moving along, tonights guests are Duo Maxwell, again. ALL: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! >Duo: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! CLOUD: (Duo; insane) ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! GYAHAHAHAHA! >What do I have on store for you tonight, eh?! You don't know!! AHHAHAHA! Alex Trebek doesn't know! HAHA! SEPHIROTH: So... KYUKE: Um... MATT: Alex Trebek...doesn't know...something...that only Duo knows? CALLIE: Oooh, the boys are thinking tonight! (She receives three pinches.) >Alex: Yes, fine. SELPHIE: (Alex; apathetic) Whatever. >Secondly, we have here tonight, Trowa Barton. CLOUD: And I thought MY name was dumb! >Hello. SEPHIROTH:(Alex) Welcome to hell! Banquet hall on your right, bathrooms on your left, torture room down the hall... >Trowa: ................... CLOUD: Hey, I didn't know Squall was a Gundam Wing chaarcter. >Alex: ..Um.. quite... CALLIE: Quite...idiotic? SEPHIROTH: ...silly? CLOUD: ...diabolical? MATT: ...convoluted? KYUKE: ...sensual? SELPHIE: ...disturbing? >finally, we have a Heero Yuy here. SEPHIROTH: Just your ordinary, run-of-the-mill Heero Yuy, as seen in most fine K-Marts. No one special. >If you don't mind me saying, KYUKE: (Alex) ...I'd like to slip you my hot- CLOUD: STOP RIGHT THERE. KYUKE: (sulking) You are so mean. >your name is quite odd. MATT: Stupid is what I would have said, but whatever. >Heero: What's it to you? Alex: ...Oh no. Not two of the little beasts... Let's move on, this should be a lot of fun. (Selphie holds up a sign that reads "Beware of Rampant Canadian Sarcasm") >Our categories are: Potent Potables, Famous Titles, Mhjongg, KYUKE: (Duo) I'd like to talk about Mhjongg, please...it's long, very long... CLOUD: Only you could make something like that dirty...well, you and Calle. >Names, MATT: ~ If you're lonely, come back down... ~ >Objects you shouldn't put in your mouth, CALLIE: Superglue! SEPHIROTH: Brussels sprouts! CLOUD: Cyanide! MATT: Dirty underwear! KYUKE: Bill Clinton! Heh heh... SELPHIE: TRRRRRAAAAAAIIIIINNNS! >things that are not compatable with a toaster, MATT: --that you should also not put in your mouth. >and finally, colors that end in "Urple" SELPHIE: Let's see...burple, shnerple, querple, durple... >Trowa, you won the toss, please CLOUD: (Alex) Eat your salad... >pick a category. Trowa: .................Four. Alex: Four? Oh... SEPHIROTH: (Alex) That number between three and five...rightio.... >Names. How much? Trowa: .................Four. KYUKE: My, he's astoundingly dull... >Alex: I guess you mean 400. The answer is, people named "Bill" have this name. SELPHIE: William. >*beep* CALLIE: Watch it! >Alex: Heero? SELPHIE: (Alex) STOP BEEPING! >Heero: Only if you say your sorry about my name. Alex: What? MATT: (Alex) Okay, fine. My sorry about your name. Ha ha! >Heero: You said that my name is stupid. CLOUD: (Heero) It hurt my feelings and I cried and wet myself. >I want you to say that you're sorry. SEPHIROTH: (Alex) Okay, that you're sorry. Better? MATT: (Heero) Much. Thank you. >Alex: Okay... I'm sorry. CALLIE: Now kiss and make up! CLOUD: Eeeewwwww... >Heero: Thank you. You may go about your buisness. KYUKE: (Alex) Ookay! **makes pissing noises** >*boop boop* CALLIE: --be doop! >Alex: .......... ALL: (Alex) .........four. >Anyone else? *beep* Alex: Duo? MATT: Trio? Quartet? >Duo: Who is Bill? CALLIE: Why the hell are you asking me? I don't know! >Alex: Pardon? Duo: Who is Bill. Alex: That's... my god... ALL: AA! MEGAMI-SAMA! >that's correct.... I suppose you choose now... SELPHIE: (Alex) No, I lied! I'm changing the rules! You all lose, I win, and I'm going to the Bahamas! Kiss my ass, suckers! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! >Duo: Well met. I'll take Famous Tities for five hundred. MATT: Breast implants cost a LOT more than that! SEPHIROTH: Do you know from experience? Heh heh... MATT: (nonplussed) No, but I live in LA. >Alex: WHAT?!?!?! SELPHIE: (Alex) TITTIES?!?! WHERE?! WHERE?!?! I WANNA SEE!!!!!! >No... that's Famous TITLES. CALLIE: I'd rather see some famous titties. SEPHIROTH: Me too. CLOUD: Same here. MATT: Hell yeah! SELPHIE: Um....not really... KYUKE: Of course. >Duo: Whatever... give it to me. MATT: ~ Give it to me baby....uh huh! Uh huh!~ (Kyuke starts to open his mouth.) CLOUD: NO. WHATEVER SEXUAL THING YOU ARE GOING TO SAY, NO. KYUKE: (Alex) Friends, Romans, Gundam Pilots! Give me your inane Jeopardy question parodies! CLOUD: Good. KYUKE: (Alex) And if you don't, I'll spank you like a little bitch. Oh, yeah...oh, yeah baby...mmmm... CLOUD: WHY?! Why do I even TRY?! CALLIE: Hey, that rhymed! ^_^ >Alex: Alright.... This... ALL: ...SUCKS! MATT: It does suck for him, though. >*beep* SEPHIROTH: Look out, you guys, a car's coming. >Duo: Pamela Anderson. SELPHIE: She's actually quite talented. >Alex: Dammit... this is Famous TITLES..... KYUKE: (Alex) But I wanted Famous Titties, too! Awww, man... >Let me finish the answer. CLOUD: (Alex) Or I'll kick you and cry. >This movie proved to us that, yes, CALLIE: ...Hollywood no longer has any integrity. MATT: What, Titanic? CALLIE: DUH! >cannonballs can run. *silence* CLOUD: That is actually a pretty stupid thing to say. SEPHIROTH: I don't know what the writers were thinking. SELPHIE: Huh? SEPHIROTH: Oon SNL. SELPHIE: Oh, yeah. >Alex: Cannonballs can run... CALLIE: No they can't!! LIAR!!!!!! >*beep* MATT: The tacos are done! >Alex: Thank god..... Trowa? SEPHIROTH: TGIT: Thank God It's Trowa CALLIE: (Duo) You mean Thank God It's Titties! >Trowa: ................................................................................. CALLIE: I would like to hurt him. >*boop boop* MATT: (dryly) Doo wop, doo wop. >Alex: ...You are an idiot. ALL: NO SHIT! >The answer was Cannonballs Can Run. CALLIE: YOU GODDAMN LYING BASTARD! THEY CAN NOT! **sob** MATT: Dude, chill. >Duo, pick. Duo: I'll take Colors that end in "Urple" for five hundred. Alex: Okay. This color ends in "Urple" SEPHIROTH: Uh...DUH! KYUKE: Hur hur hur? CALLIE: Uhhhh...guuuuhhh... (Selphie farts.) >*beep* MATT: Fries are up! >Alex: Heero? CALLIE: Yesso? KEIRA: Fourth wall, Callista. >Heero: What is light urple? (Everyone starts giggling hysterically.) >Alex: ......No.... MATT: ...four CLOUD: He's right, though. >*beep* SEPHIROTH: (deadpan) Your mother. >Alex: Duo? CALLIE: Whatto? KEIRA: CALLIE. CALLIE: Oh, fark ya. >Duo: Hm? Oh, no. ALL: (Duo) NOT THE COMFY CHAIR! >I just wanted to make sure that the buzzer still worked. KYUKE: Hey, I can stop the fanfic now. SEPHIROTH: Show us! KYUKE: Okay! **ahem** Why? (There is a huge RRRRIIIIIP as the film breaks.) KEIRA: NO! You little weasels! That'll take an hour to fix! (Everyone, snickering, leaves the theater.) ***COMMERCIAL BREAK!*** (Squall Leonhart is standing behind a picnic table.) SQUALL: Do you have Rinoa problems? Do you get Rinoas in your food, hair, mouth, and nose? Is there one inhabiting your home, or the home of a loved one? Do they constantly try to talk to you, grope you, or marry you? Well, look no further! From the makers of Esper-Away, Aerith the Roach Motels, and Sailor Mercury-Remover! Comes new, improved... (he hoists a box high in the air.) RINO-OFF! Simply leave the box out overnight, and your Rinoa troubles are solved! Rino-Off! works quickly, effectively, and very, very painfully to eliminate any squinty, ditzy, hairy-legged little wenches! Let's watch... (Rinoa is down on her hands and knees, apparently trying to molest Irvine, who is screaming for help. His flailing arms whack a box of Rino-Off! off a high shelf, and directly onto Rinoa's head. Suddenly, Rinoa stiffens and then goes limp. Irvine wiggles out from under her and runs of-camera, screaming.) SQUALL: Er...actually...it doesn't work QUITE that way... DOOR SEQUENCE: CALLIE: We have a door sequence now?! KEIRA: SHUT UP YOU. DOOR 1- It's a gigantic, anatomically correct statue of Camui Gackt. Cloud and the others peel Callie off it and continue on. DOOR 2- A gigantic sour gummy worm. You chew your way through and continue on. DOOR 3- It's Britney Spears! You break her kneecaps, rip out her hair extensions, scrape off her fake orange tan, and stomp on her larynx before going forwards. DOOR 4- It's Trowa! He stands there and goes, ".............four". Callie shoves him out of the way and you go on to... DOOR 5- It's Janet Reno, pissed about how many "Janet-Reno-is-butt-ugly" jokes you make! You run screaming to safety in the form of- DOOR 6- --Ryland and Marcus. You blink and make a disgusted face, remark on their flexibility, push them out of the way, and go into the theater. >Alex: ........And it's time for final Jepordy..... ALL: YAY! >The category is, Horsies. All you have to do is tell me Are Horsies pretty? CALLIE: Depends on the horse. SEPHIROTH: No. CLOUD: Yes. MATT: Horsies! Yeah! SELPHIE: YAY! I love horsies! KYUKE: Do you bugger 'em? (Cloud punches Kyuke in the ear.) KYUKE: (flat) Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. >*Music starts* (Everyone starts headbanging, holds up one hand in the "metal" sign, and lights a lighter with the other.) >Alex: Yes, or No. We'll accept either answer. SELPHIE: (Random contestant) That's too vague. Can you narrow it down a little please? >Horsies. ALL: Yep. >For the sake of tradition, let's look a the answers SEPHIROTH: Then we'll look b the scores, and c the contestants... CLOUD: Stop anytime. Like now. >Duo, you're first, you wrote... MATT: It's about damn time, too. How old are you, 16? >I suppose that's your wager... a Buck... Okay. Your answer? Futter. What? Buck Futter. I don't get it. (Everyone starts giggling hysterically again.) >Duo: I bet you do you Canadian schmuck! HAHA!!!! Alex: I hate you. ALL: WE HATE YOU, TOO! >moving on. Heero, you wrote... and your podium is gone. Heero: I just turned around and it was gone. SELPHIE: Does this have something to do with the show? Cuz I don't get it... MATT: We should have watched Gundam Wing for longer than two episodes, I think. >Alex: ........Sure. finally, we have Trowa. Your answer? Trowa: ........................... CLOUD: (sarcastically) Maybe he'll say 'five" this time. >Alex: It appears you wrote dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I hate to ask... what did you wager? It seems to be more dots with a four at the end. ALL: HA! >Trowa: .....................Four. CALLIE: Oh, fuck you. >Alex: Super. MATT: ~ I'm super! Thanks for asking! All things considered, I couldn't be better, I must say...! ~ >Anyway, this concludes another episode of Celebrity Jepordy, ALL: YAY! >I quit. ALL: US TOO! KEIRA: Oh, no you don't... >Goodnight. ALL: NIGHTY-NIGHT! >*Jepordy music plays* (Everyone starts moshing.)