Everyone on fanfiction.net is such a sweetie, really. All are talented, educated writers and I've spent many a night crying and laughing over their amazing work... All right, I lied. A lot of the time, someone will write a really rude and/or stupid comment, and are too cowardly to leave their e-mail. Therefore, this is my little outlet for that rage. Please note that if generally the comment is nice (relatively, anyways), and/or the author and I have worked out our difference, I will either note that fact or I will not mock it. Otherwise, prepare to be pantsed, beaten, and left for dead at a Janet Reno-Lookalike Convention. ********* CRIMSON-THE MSTING From dear little UMJ: "I think the story you are MSTing is a good one and you are just hating becuase you an that author are enemies. That's only my opinion." ANNA: Well, unlike Lit, I am not my own worst enemy. I wrote Crimson at the tender age of twelve, and I think it's stupid. I wrote it to be MSTed at the time, but the MSTier I had signed up for the task had family troubles and was unable to do it. I did it myself. Besides, I have way too much dignity to MST something just because I hate the author. From a Mr. gameboyguru-"this MYSTing is as bad as the fic being MYSTed. I'm not seeing the 2nd part." ANNA: Well, I might have been peeved had you not spelled "MSTing" the Pretentious Asshole Way (tm), and the fact that you reviewed my other fics favorably. Scared, eh? You're a buttwipe. DUMB SAILORMOON RUMORS-THE EVIL! A good number of people would have killed me for this had they been able to, but I refuse to die ignobly at the hands of stupid folk. From someone calling themself (selves?) RAYE AND REI AND RAY-"You SUCK HOW DARE YOU USE OUR NAMES LIKE THAT YOU SHIT HEAD MOTHER PHUCKER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!AND THE CAT THING NO THATS JUST NASTY POOR CAT" I couldn't really respond to that; I was laughing WAY too hard. Eh, I'll do it anyways. ANNA: Admirable use of the shift key. Unfortunately, you're depriving punctuation-starved Appalachian children of exclamation points! How sad. Cut it out or I'll tell Sally Struthers to come to your house... ...phucker? Phat, girlphriend. From someone who didn't even bother to leave their name: "You know... that one about Haruka is really a guy and he hates the Star Lights because they crossdress and is gay? That actually could be true... Haruka could be seen as a guy, and the Star Lights do crossdress... are they gay? Dunno... but they could be..." ANNA: **sigh** This isn't a flame, but it's stupid nontheless. Haruka can certainly be seen as a guy, but that doesn't make her one. I doubt one's thoughts can be used as a sex-change...and if they did, I'd be a guy for a week or so every month... As for the Starlights being gay, it's debatable. Seiya is obviously interested in women, and AFAIK Taiki was interested in Ami. (Ewww.) Yaten is in love with himself. So, I can't say equivocably that they're homosexual. From Ari-chan: Now, here's a bit of interesting history on dear little Ari-chan. She flamed be back and forth about eight times before I threatened to report her to AOL for harrassment. She then sweetly replied with the old, "That was my little sister using my SN, golly, I'm sorry about that!" I maintain my opinion that she's an idiot. "::Raises eye brows:: You call that funny?" Yup. "Okay.. I have to give you some credit considering some were funny." So you call it funny, too? "But really must you resort to using demeaning terms such as "dyke"?" In the interest of satire? Yes, I do. "That's what the words Lesbian and homosexual are for." Actually, the meaning of the term "Lesbian" by itself has nothing to do with being a homosexual. Plenty of people lived in Lesbos, Greece long ago. I guarantee you that there were some citizens who did not, in fact, practice homosexuality, although many of course did. "You did get a bit carried away with the Lesbian stuff there" I know. Thank you for acknowledging my realism. "(in fact I think that you really just want to see 2 girls going at it)" Of course I do. Many straight, lesbian, and bisexual people enjoy that sort of thing. There's nothing wrong with that. "Also try not the mix the dub names with the Japanese names." Tell me, dear...what did the introduction to the fic mean to you? Obviously, you are literate-I suppose-so why didn't the fact that I stated explicitly several times that all mix-ups, dubbing, errors, insults, and various disgusting bits were all parodied from actual examples and were not in any way to be taken seriously get through your misshapen skull? "Soo..." Are you calling pigs or something? "you need some help" I need help defensing myself from idiots like you, yes... ":: shrugs innocently::" Oh, sweetie. That's the best way to get someone to stop taking you seriously. Leave out the AOL-style actions. "A lot." Or none at all. "Mostly in the "Treat other people as you would like to be treated" area." Funny, I do. Did I treat you badly by writing this fic? Come to think of it, you aren't treating me the way you'd like to be treated, are you? Unless you're a masochist... "::sweatdrops:: I must have sounded like an old there didn't I? Oh well! >**" What's an "old there"? O_o;; From someone weird named Small Child Sailor Saturn: "Sick! Just sick! Avoid if at all possable!" Okay. Good idea. I'll avoid you as much as you apparently avoid your spell-checker. From an idiot named saibie: "you people are sick,twisted,dr.lauras.i hate your fic!trash it!burn it!throw it away." Sadly, I'm not Jewish. Therefore I cannot be Dr. Laura. Also, how am I supposed to throw away and/or burn a .txt file? From Queen of the Clueless, Translucence: She never e-mailed me back. Cowardly slut. "I thought some of those were funny until I got to the one sayinf incest was legal in the south..." Kiddo, incest is legal EVERYWHERE. From the south to where I live. In fact, most of the British Royal Family members, along with most dynastic rulers throughout history, are inbred. "And I'd personally kick your ass if I knew where you lived." Bring it on. You wouldn't hit a girl with glasses, would you? (heh heh) "That wasn't in the lest bit funny." Speaking of "lest"..."Judge not lest ye be judged, asshole". (Maybe the Bible doesn't say "asshole", but they have poetic words for every yucky thing in there, don't they?) "And all the cracks about lesbians" (Beavis voice) Heh heh...you said "lesbian" and "crack"... "weren't funny either." They are, but you're too dumb to understand why. "If you are going to make fun of things try to do it in such a manner as to not offend people." Then what's the point of making fun of them? O_o;; "Assholes like you make me want to beat the shit out of the people that raised you." Hmm. Well. I'm not a rectum, and I'd hate to see you try to take on my parents. My mom could beat you down in seconds (although she's much too nice to do so) and my dad is a 6-foot, 250-pound, easily angered fellow who would could break your kneecaps if he desired. Better take on my little brother. From the obviously 12-year-old Mooncrystal_15: "You have sick sence of humor" And you have a sick 'sence" of spelling. Ew. FINAL FANTASY VI-MSTED From someone with random letters for a name: "Altough I still like it, it's starting to suck! Just to tell you. Still, write more!" Why bother? With "fans" like you, who needs detractors? From gary, who really pissed me off: "sorry....but don't do this..... you're a good fic writer, but even you should know this has already been done.....i don't think we wanna read another version......" Okay, this is rude on SO many levels. Number one, you have no right to tell me what to do and not do. I don't write for you, I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of the fans who support me. After all, World War II already happened; should Spielberg not have made "Saving Private Ryan" due to that fact? Number two, "even you should know..."? What, am I stupid or something? Number three, if "we" don't want to read another version, "we" should just NOT READ THE FIC. THERE'S a novel idea for ya! And since many people have loved this, much more so than the few who disliked it, I can only assume you're using the royal 'we". (Which, if you remember from the reponse I wrote to Miss Translucence, means poor lowercase gary is inbred!) MAGICAL DRAGON STAR WARRIOR HEARTS: From Pinata Man (uh-huh...): "what kind of ending is that?!?" It's called, "ff.net had an uploading error". Jeez, calm down there; you have veins sticking out of your forehead and everything... "there should be more dialogue with bob, he's cool" Make up an imaginary friend named Bob and talk to him, then. SEPPHY AND SELPHIE: From everyone's favorite crunchy marketing plot, The Pezman: "You shoulda shortened Selph's name to her orphanage one (Sefie). Then things woulda been interesting." If you consider that sort of thing interesting, I suppose... From the slighty exasperating Lotuss Tears: "heh heh...it had it's good parts....all and all it needs some work, but extra points for putting these 2 chars together, very creative" Thank you for your very nice review. I'll say it again-that fic was written in 6 minutes when I was buzzed and I did it for some cheap laughs. It's not well-written and it's not meant to be. SOME FF7 CHARACTERS PLAY A ROUSING GAME OF CLUE: From the imaginatively named Daniel Wallace: "Cloud would whip Cid's ass" Hey, that kind of turned me on. From CV: "......funny but kinda' boring. Good jub though!" What's a "jub"? Are you referring to my Ewok impression? I actually do a much better Darth Vader impression, but thank you anyways. Your review was also funny and kinda boring. From some other anonymous twit: "that was.....sorta funny. too seriously written, though." Okay. I'll rewrite it just for you. Do you like this better? tifa: lets play clue ok cid i dun no how cloud: ha ha look at me im the seterotypicaly dumb character yuffie: materia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tifa: u all suck i win. THE END SPICE GIRLS VS. THE EXORCIST: From pretty li'l Sporty's Revenge: "Boy, did that suck." Kind of like Sporty's solo CD, huh? THE SEARCH FOR SQUALL'S SEXY PANTS: From the normally complimentary neored13: "Umm... Yeah. Whatever... Incredibly silly. I'd try and MST this, but I'd only make it worse." You hurt me :( From a couple of really scary people: "RaidraWomon: DON'T MAKE IRVINE GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trinity: Interesting write an ending RaidraWomon: Exactally.....DOH!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Thank you. I thought my life was already surreal, but you just showed me that the world is much weirder than I already thought it was. From Janet-who-has-too-many-damn-x-es-in-her-name: "It's well written, I just don't find it that funny. I mean, so what, Irvine is gay in this fic, haha. Anyway, the sexy leather pants idea was good." It's not a giant gay joke. The pants idea was silly. You're kind of missing the point. From The Pezman, who should really stop leaving two-faced reviews: "DAMN, YOU DIDN'T FINISH IT?!!! GOD DAMMIT! THIS WASN'T AS FUNNY AS THE FIRST ONE BUT IT WAS STILL SO GODDAMN FUNNY AND YOU CAN'T EVEN FINISH IT?" Wow. I've never seen anyone jerk off and type at the same time, although I suppose keeping the Caps Lock on helps. From the scary lope: "more sex" I'm monogamous, but thank you for thinking of me. From deh biyou (Nawlins! Yee haw!): "i think irvine is more like australian rather than western." That's less funny, though. From 'What the": ..................................................... ...................................................................... .........no comment." Whoops...too late there, buddy. THE EVIL FANFIC: From dear Mr. Wiggums: "This f*ckin stinks. Like i said before." Hey, at least my name isn't "Mr. Wiggums".