***Begin Transmission***

The lights dim, a hush falls over the crowd. A single Roman candle emits a glowing light before it explodes with light.
  A blanket of golden sparks flows from the top of the tron. Fire works shoot form either side while loud explosions boom 
from the back. Great balls of fire set off in series down the ramp. The crowd rises to their feet. The ring posts shoot 
rockets into the air. A miss guided missile loses one of its fins and spins wildly into the screen igniting it.  As a 
worker jumps up with a fire extinguisher he is blasted with another fireball. He flees off the ramp swinging the fire 
extinguisher wildly. The fire travels down his arm causing him to launch it over the crowd creating an arc of white dust right
 before it slams into the pyro technician. He gurgles and falls on to the triggers for all the pyro.  The massive blast
 ignites half of the roof causing flaming chunks of fibreglass to fall in to the gathered fans. They all frantically run to
 the opposite side of the arena causing the entire arena to tilt sharply. Our distinguished and incredibly handsome owner
 struts through the carnage to the flaming ring and grabs a mic.

Dave- Welcome to the first ever CWA Tuesday CRUNCH: Rebirth. This wasn't quite the start we wanted so we will have to take
 it outside. So if we could all calmly grab a corner of the ramp and walk it outside. 

Various members of the audience as well as the CWA's massive roster grab the ramp and carry it outside. The show commences
under the light of the burning arena. Our leader steps out to the ring to kick off the show.

Dave- Well, here we are. Now to make the CWA officially reopened we will have a passing of the torch ceremony from the past
 owner to myself.

Music kicks in .....

Tech guy- Where's the music coming from?

Other tech guy- Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to

Tech guy - But I want to know the answe...

Other tech guy- SHUT UP!

Blastin' Brando Williams walks down the smouldering ramp with the CWA belt in a glass case. He makes his way into the ring. 

Brando- I just came here to tell you that there is no way you are getting your hands on my CWA!

Dave - I made you close this league due to your crookedness so it is now mine to reopen. 

Brando- No way it's mine!!

Brando turns as if to leave, but swings around and smashes the glass case over the prez's head. He grabs the CWA title
 and takes off down the ramp. Security tries to stop Brando but he has too much momentum and breaks through the barracade
 of guards.  Two of them manage to hold him, barely, at the top of the ramp. Dave comes blasting through the crowd and
 tackles Brando over the edge of the ramp. Time ticks by, everyone tries to see what is going on. Dave appears from the
 side of the ramp with the  CWA belt. He climbs onto the ramp holds up the belt and yells.

Dave- LET THE SHOW BEGIN!!!!!

First match - Non-Title Death Match - Samuel Mann vs. Hemorage Henderson

The sound of a chainsaw revving cuts through the crowd's excitement.  A man in a flannel shirts and torn jeans sprints
 down to the ring with a spinning chainsaw in his hands. He jumps in the ring and cuts through the steel top rope. 
This is Samuel Mann, the Manliest Man in the CWA. He turns to face the top of the ramp slowly revving up the chainsaw.

Red and blue flashing lights brighten the street. Sirens wail as an ambulance backs down to the ring. Samuel Mann stands
 defiantly in the ring, holding the revving chainsaw in front of him. The ambulance stops halfway to the ring and
 the rear doors pop open. Leprosy Jones hops out pulling a stretcher covered with a bloody sheet. The stretcher clatters 
onto the ground and a form underneath the sheet struggles. As Leprosy approaches the ring he whips off the sheet, revealing
 Hemorage Henderson strapped down to the bed. Hemorage has managed to chew through the head strap and is starting on
 the two chest straps. Leprosy takes off back to the ambulance and starts throwing equipment from the back onto the
 ramp. Samuel Mann leaps out of the ring and lands on the stretcher, crushing Hemorage and tipping the whole contraption
 over. Hemorage has freed his arms and pulls himself out of the straps. Samuel takes a run at him with the chainsaw but
 Hemorage dives into the crowd and Samuel only scratches the ramp.  Hemorage grabs a chair and smacks the chainsaw out
 of Samuel's hands, following up with a smack to the head. Leprosy Jones has emptied the back of the ambulance and he 
runs it to the flaming entrance of the arena. Hemorage jumps back over the barrier and grabs a crutch from the 
equipment on the ramp. He swings it at Samuel, who lies on the ground, apparently unconscious. At the last possible
 second Samuel turns over, and whips his regained chainsaw into the air, slicing the crutch in half.

He manages to hit Hemorage's ankle with the saw, leaving a bloody hole. Hemorage dives into the pile of equipment with Samuel
 right on his tail. Samuel repeatedly stabs Hemorage with various scissors and knives while the injured man attempts to
 bandage his ankle. Suddenly Samuel screams and looks down at his leg. Leprosy Jones was hiding under the entrance ramp and
 stuck Samuel with a needle from the ambulance. Samuel was able to get away before the green liquid in the syringe was
 injected into him. Hemorage has finished bandaging his ankle and the bleeding has slowed, but all his other injuries are
 making him slower. Samuel grabs a bottle from the pile and smashes it on the ramp above Leprosy.  The bottle was filled
 with leeches and they land on Leprosy's face, quickly latching into his skin. Leprosy rolls on the floor as the leeches 
crawl into his nose cavities and under his clothes. Samuel turns back to Hemorage just as the injured man grabs 
another pieces of equipment.  Hemorage is messing with the equipment as Samuel grabs a metal backboard. As Samuel raises
 the heavy board above his head, Hemorage spins around and puts two metal paddles from a defibrillator on Samuels's
 cheeks. Hemorage shouts "CLEAR!!!" and pushes buttons on the paddles sending 360 joules of electricity straight through
 Samuel's brain.

Samuel drops, unconscious and Hemorage stands up and grabs the stretcher. He limps it back up the ramp and lifts Samuels 
drooping body onto it. He puts a single strap across Samuel's neck and pulls it tight. After loading the stretcher into 
the back of the ambulance, Hemorage climbs into the drivers seat and squeals the tires taking off towards a freight elevator
 still standing in the burning building.  Hemorage pulls the ambulance into the elevator. He jumps out of the truck and 
pushes the button to head to the roof. He cranks open the back door of the ambulance and pulls out the stretcher.
 As the ambulance reaches the roof Hemorage climbs back in and tries to back over the stretcher. Samuel is lucky 
because the stretcher's grab-bar tucks itself against the licence plate and merely rolls behind the ambulance. Hemorage
 guns the engine and the noise and fumes from the exhaust bring Samuel back to consciousness.  The stretcher crashes 
through the barrier and hangs off the side of the roof. Samuel manages to undo the strap around his neck and begins to
 climb up the stretcher. A door slams and Hemorage comes around to the back of the ambulance. He pushes the truck and it
 begins to move towards the edge.  The truck rolls off the edge and drops, with the stretcher in tow. Hemorage peers over 
the edge and is surprised to find Samuel Mann hanging by one hand from the edge of the roof. Hemorage smirks and kicks 
Samuel's fingers. Samuel loses his grip and plunges towards the ambulance, which has landed front-end-down. He slams through
 the back doors and breaks his back on the mangled crew bench inside. As he passes away he looks up to see the leader
 of the Blood Borne Gang staring down from the roof.

Winner by way of Death - Hemorage Henderson!


Match 2 - Hardcore Match - Hardcore Stuart vs. Mystery Opponent?!

"Sweet Child of Mine" blares over the speakers as Hardcore Stuart charges down to the ring. The crowd breaks out in a chorus
 of boos intermingled with a few cheers. He jumps into the ring and climbs up to the second rope, staring at the crowd with
 a poker face. As the last chords of the song play he drops down and paces around the ring, preparing for his match.
  Suddenly the lights dim and turn green. The spotlights focus on a particularly fiery area of the arena. A cold, chilling
 voice screams "Death to all who stands in our way. HAHAHAHA!" Green fire blasts from the chunks of building and Emerico 
emerges from the rubble with a skull in his left hand. Valain joins him from the back as they make their way to the ring.

As Emerico enters the ring Hardcore Stuart springs off the ropes and charges at his opponent. Emerico is quick to react with
 a boot to the face. Stuart goes down hard and Emerico picks him up for a quick snap suplex. He signals for Valain to
 throw him a weapon and she grabs the timekeeper and knocks him out. She starts throwing in items from his table including
 the ring bell and hammer, not to mention a steel-folding chair. Emerico turns to grab the bell but Stuart is faster. He 
gets his hands on a   chair and as Emerico turns he is slammed but Stuart's swing. Stuart reaches down and wraps his 
arms around Emerico's waist. He powers up Emerico's 325lbs body and spins him into a back breaker. Stuart jumps on for
 the   pin but gets powered off with only a one count. Emerico stands up and blocks Stuarts right, answering it with 
a right of his own. They exchange blows with both men eventually backing off. They quickly grab weapons, allowed by 
the hardcore rules, and begin to pound on each other. Valain slides a table to the ref. The ref sets it up, following 
the CWA's ref rulebook. Emerico kicks Stuart in the stomach and spins around, looking for a Stone Cold Stunner, but
 Stuart sees it coming.  He grabs Emerico's shoulder and spins him straight into his waiting hand.  STUART STOPPER! STUART
 STOPPER!! Hardcore Stuart lifts Emerico by his throat, holding him mockingly in the air before slamming his bulk through 
the table. Emerico lies helpless in the shattered remains of the furniture. Stuart slowly makes his way to the top. 
He stands on the top turnbuckle, holding his arms out in a pose of victory, as he prepares to drop onto his opponent. 
Valain springs into action, grabbing a power cord and lassoing Stuart's neck. He grabs frantically at the cord as she pulls 
him back and off the turnbuckle. Stuart falls backwards and lands partially on the ring steps. Emerico rolls outside as 
  Valain picks up the groggy Stuart. She whips him towards Emerico who hits Stuart with a spine buster.  Emerico picks
 up Stuart, grabs both his arms like a Pedigree, lifts him high in the air and slams him brutally on the concrete for the
 three count.

Winner by way of pin fall - Emerico!

Match 3 - Main Event - Super Sophie vs. Macho Polo

Smoke floods the ramp entrance while "control " by puddle of mud is heard fading in. The smoke clears to reveal Super Sophie
 standing on the ramp with Puddle Of Mud. She gives props to her favourite band before she dashes down to the ring with
 cape triumphantly waving behind her. She stands on the turnbuckle to a standing ovation by the crowd. Macho macho man by
 Gonzo comes on the speakers as Macho Polo appears behind the band as they prepare to leave. He shoves his way through
 them knocking two of them off the stage. He then proceeds to kick the drum set into the crowd. He walks down to the 
announce table and grabs a mic.

Macho -Hey poodles of mud. You think your macho; no one is more macho than me. You wanna see how macho I am, when I'm
 done with you your name will be mudd. Oh wait it already is. HAHAHA!

Macho slides into the ring and Sophie leaps on him and starts slapping him wildly. Macho blocks them as best he can 
as he struggles to his feet and shoves her back. She charges him with a clothesline. And knocks him back. Macho
 stumbles back into the corner. Sophie backs her ass up into him giving him a stinkface. As she attempts to leave he 
pulls her back in for another go. She struggles before ramming her foot back into his groin. He stands up bent over
 holding his groin. Sophie capitalizes with a sharp DDT driving his head into the mat. He rolls to the outside still
 reeling in pain. Sophie springs to the top rope and leaps off with a moonsault. Macho catches her with one arm, gives
 the thumbs up to the crowd and hits her with a spinning tombstone. He gets into the ring and taunts the crowd "who's
 more macho than Macho". The crowd answers  "Nobody". Sophie struggles to the top rope and leaps off with her "Double
 Dunk". She connects with the forward swanton to the standing Macho. She then climbs to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent
 corners and lands another swanton into a leg drop "Double Dunk" She then grabs the leg and scores the one, two, three.

Winner by way of pin fall - Super Sophie!