Canterbury-Clinton

   King Bill strutted out onto his balcony, two guardsmen trailing closely to either side. "Ah. . . mine kingdom is a beauty to behold," he exclaimed, throwing his arms wide to include everything to the horizon.
     "Good morning, my lord. Didst thou sleep well?" Queen Hiliary asked, entering from her own chamber's entrance to the balcony.
     "Aye, but mine morning has become dreay of a sudden. Canst thou percieve the cause?" King Bill questioned, his face looking like he had just swallowed sour ale.
     Queen Hiliary grinned maliciously, then turned and sauntered away, calling over her shoulder, "Keep in mind, 'A comedy ends with marriage, but a tragedy begins with it."
     "How could I have ever consented to such a match between the beast and I? Curse those social rules that condemn me to an enternity of suffering! Ah me, at least I can console myself with the wiles of courtly love. Blessed be the good sir who accounted for that little loophole," King Bill thought, his blood now racing at the thought of his new pursuit.

    Meanwhile, far down in the black reaches of the castle cellar, a young serving wench was struggling with a load of potatoes. "Monica, is thine head stuffed full of cotton? I said to bring those potatoes up right quick!"
     "Yes, Mistress Cook. I'll be there soon, you old battered crone," Monica murmured under her breath. Coming to the castle had not turned out at all as she had planned. She had come with dreams of a handsome courtier falling deeply in love with her one night while she was serving the banquet tables. Then he would sweep her off her feet and marry her in a scnadal that would send the court reeling. Instead she had been on her knees the entire time--scrubbing pots, cleaning rushes, and crawling around in cellars for Mistress Cook. Not once had she been assigned anywhere near the upper nobility's tables, having worked around the Marquis and Barons instead. "Here's thine potatoes, Mistress," Monica wheezed, dropping the large sack on the floor.
     "Good, now quickly pay heed. Paula, Farrier Jones' daughter, was set to serve the high king's table tonight, but has come down with a mighty cold. Her nose has grown into a shape that some have liken to that of a witch's, and that added to her dealings with the nobility, have caused the Queen to send her away from court. So at tonight's banquet, thou shall serve their Majesties," Cook explained. "Mine thine manners and wear thine blue dress. It is the best that thou has." She then went back to yelling at the scullery maids to hurry with the courses, swinging her ladle with much strength to speed the lazy helpers along.
     "Did thou hearst that Trippy? I am to serve at the king's table tonight!" Monica yelped to the ugly sandy haired mutt she had befriended upon her arrival at the castle. Monica ran up to her chamber high up in the oldest tower of the castle, breathing heavily upon the twisting staircases. Her heart beat wildly as she began to see visions of her meeting the eyes of some highborn lord, and him falling deeply in love with her.

Later that night, King Bill sat in his place of honor at the high table, surveying all those beneath him. His eyes roamed over all of the various women, metally tracking their availability and attractiveness to try and find his new target. He had had to let his previous mistress go due to his wife's spying through keyholes when she was supposed to be taking care of one of her functions or other. His head began to hurt even at the thought of taking care of the affairs of state. "I'm glad I have Hiliary and those councilors to take care of those boring issues, leaving me the time to enjoy being King!" Then he stopped his mussings as he finally caught sight of the young girl who was serving his table. "Okay, she looks like she's been sneaking bites from the meals for a while, but overall she's not that bad. Plus she's free game; what kind of serving lass would pass up on the offer of a King?" King Bill thought, adjusting his tunic and sitting up straight. "Now the game begins!"
Monica walked by the table, swinging her hips as much as she could, smiling seductively whenever a lord happened to look her way. Then she caught a pair of blue eyes, eyes that belonged to the high king. "Well he's not the most handsomest man I've ever seen, but by St. Peter he is the king!" Monica thought as she began manuevering to get closer to her new target of attraction.

The entire night was spent with covert conversations and "unexpected" meetings of hands. Much later, after the banquet had been cleared away, Monica was not surprised to hear a knock on her chamber door. "Wish me luck, Trippy!" she called to the dog, who remained where she was, watching and remembering everything.
The affair would continue through the winter months. Monica became quite happy, confiding in Trippy every night of her relationship with Bill. She just couldn't seem to stop smiling and talking about her love. But that old hound just soaked up every fact, storing it away in its little brain. For that dog was also friend to the court magician, Starr the Mystical. During one of Starr's early experiments he had accidentally given Trippy the ability to speak. Using her arcane powers, and soon after the relationship had started, Trippy had begun making visits to Starr's chambers to tell him of all the new news. Carefully Starr had documented all that had happened, for you see he had aspirations of making a name for himself. If he could somehow win the favors of Queen Hiliary, the true ruler of the kingdom, he could easily accomplish his dream.

    So one night in the early onset of spring, Starr snuck a message to Queen Hiliary requesting a private audience. Curious as to what the sorcerer had to say, she agreed to meet him in the Queen's gardens at midnight a fortnight from then. During that meeting, Queen Hiliary and Starr conconcted a plan that would end King Bill's reign and place Hiliary in full regal power.
     That night, when Bill and Monica were together, Starr and Hiliary stormed into the bedchamber. After the intial cries of disbelief and outrage, Starr had the guardsmen outside take hold of the harlot Monica and the remainder of the guards surrounded the king's bedchambers to prevent the king from leaving.
     "Why has thou done this? Hiliary, I know that thee has had many a lover and I have done nothing to prevent such a breach in our marraige contract. I could have had thee banished for being disloyal to me," King Bill exclaimed.
     "Ah, husband, I know not what thou speaks of. Never have I been unfaithful to thee. Thou can ask anyone in court, never have they seen me with another man," Queen Hiliary retorted, her eyes gleaming as the hidden message became clear to her spouse. "But how can thee lay there in our bed, accusing me of unfaithfulness when I had just walked in to find some kitchen wench with my love? A pox upon thee for dishonoring me so!"
     "My leige, it grieves my heart to say this, but thou art under arrest by order of the Church. Thou has broken a vow most sacred and now must seek the Almighty's forgiveness," Starr decreed, bowing low to the ground so that his face was lost from view. "His Holiness, Archbishop Reinquest, will pass judgement upon you this Sabbath."
     King Bill bowed his head in shame, not at having lain with another woman, but for breaking those rules held most high in chivarly. The rules of courtly love.