Pride. We all have it though many of us would like to deny it. Pride seeks self glorification and worships our abilities apart from God. Pride. It has always been there. From the first Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden……it was pride in themselves and what they thought they could be apart from God, that made them want to be like God. They ate the apple in the hope of being as wise or even wiser than God, as the devil had led them to believe, forgetting that they were made in His image. An image mirrors the reality. It is not the reality itself. God is the reality.

            Today, just like the first Adam and the first Eve, we carry the seeds of pride in our fallen nature. We mask it in subtle ways, in our work, our salaries, our prestige, the power and influence we wield, our worldly titles, our fancy cars, our ever larger homes, our tendency to manipulate others, our clothes. Pride. It is there and always has been. There is nothing wrong in taking pride in one’s work, in enjoying the fruit of one’s labour and the blessings God bestows upon us. It is wrong though if we worship these things and see these things as coming from ourselves and not from God. When we see these things as ours and not His, that is Pride.

            You might be reading this and telling yourself. That’s not me. I don’t have very many material possessions. I don’t boast, I don’t flaunt what I have. I am Pride free! But are we really so? Think of the times when it was so hard to admit we were wrong to a spouse, a friend or someone we loved. Think of the times we failed to do what God wanted us to do because we were afraid to fail. Think of the times we failed to tell someone how we really felt because we were afraid to place ourselves in a position that would make us look and feel vulnerable. Think of the times we failed to share aspects of our personal lives that would help another human being, because we were too proud to admit our faults, too proud to admit we have struggles and areas of our lives that we fail in. How about the times we failed to heed the advice of a doctor because we felt we could do it our way? Not to mention the other occasions whereby we failed to establish a relationship with another human being because we felt they weren’t worthy of  our friendship or because we did not agree with the way the led their lives. What about the leadership titles we hanker after even within the various ministries in church and the times we begrudged the post to another because we felt we could do a better job and questioned God’s choice? I think by now you get my point.

            I struggle with Pride a lot. When I was first diagnosed with depression and told that I would have to rely on life-long medication, my Pride made me baulk and resist. I wanted to do it my way. I refused to believe that my brain, my life would have to depend on this one small pill called Prozac which my doctor was giving me. I rebelled. It hurt my pride too much. I told myself if I thought positively, I could feel better without the medicine. If I prayed hard enough, God would make this go away and I would be okay. No Prozac for me. Prozac was for nut cases and I wasn’t one of them! How wrong I was. I failed to see that God was helping me through this medical invention. My Pride made me resist the help God was extending to me and made me blind to His divine help through a small pill. As a result, my life took a downslide. My Pride nearly cost me my life. In refusing help, in choosing to believe I could do it my way, I was hurting the people around me who loved me. I was causing them worry, pain and anxiety. My loved ones were reaping the negative consequences of my bad choices. Choices that were born out of Pride and out of Sin.

            I don’t know about you. But Pride is still is an area of my life I struggle hard with. Sometimes I feel thankful that God has put this ‘thorn’ in my flesh to remind me of my dependence on Him, to make me descend from my stool of arrogance and self sufficiency to one of trust and living each day in gratitude for every positive and happy experience He places in my life. I am thankful for the tears He places in my eyes because through those tears I see Life for what it is- given by God. I see my health as a gift from God not an individual right. I am slowly, day by day, learning to surrender the other areas in my life that are still strongly driven by pride. It is not easy and I still hold on to them very tightly because I am afraid of letting them go. But I am working on them just like you too may be working on yours. I leave you with this thought from the living book of life. May you ponder its relevance in your life and seek comfort in the truth it contains:

“………and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE” (1 Peter 5:5)

Our Pride will not allow us to admit we are weak, but He said to me, “My Grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”…for Paul says, “for when I am weak, then I am strong.”….( 2 Corinthians 12:7-10)