The Veil of Darkness

The veil of darkness, is the moment of darkest despair. It is a vaacum through which no one can reach you. For that moment, for that period in time, one is isolated, cut off, all alone. Human beings are social people. We are meant to live together and in periods of extreme isolation, will display a great degree of emotional stress. The veil of darkness ensures that though you may be surrounded by people, you do not see them. You are emotionally and psychologically cut off. It shrouds your mental vision and gives you the illusion you are all alone, that nothing matters….not your life, not your friends, not you family not even the God you worship.

If there is anything close to hell on Earth, then the veil of darkness has to be it. Because, it is a state of extreme mental stress and pain. It sucks all life from you, all hope and leaves you feeling like a hollow shell that almost convinces you that you actually don’t have a soul.

Friends look like foe. Love is coloured with Hate. Happiness is slathered with bitterness. Hope disappears and illusion drowns reality. Why does the veil of darkness exist? Why does it shroud the vision of some yet leave others untouched? I do not know the answer. Perhaps the answer lies deep in our minds, in our brain chemistry. Maybe it is predetermined at birth, like a burden an innocent baby carries with it till it is able to reason and understand. I have had it for a long time. As long as I can ever remember. I have long given up hope of ever asking why. But having lived with it I also realized the secret of the veil. It preys on human weakness. It feeds on the bad that lives within us. It survives by attempting to bring out the worst in us and in so doing, tries to convince us that it is all that we are. It lives by feeding us the lie that good does not exist within us. It searches for hate, bitterness, strife, unforgiveness in us and uses them as weapons against ourselves, leading us to a life a misery.

The veil however is ephemeral. It does not last long. For some it disappears as mysteriously as the sun that suddenly decides to shine after a bout of rain. Those who have never experienced it would never really know what it is like. I do know though that for people like me, it’s become part of our lives. We just hope against hope that somehow when it happens, the veil would be lifted after a period of time and we would not be so blinded by its power that we lose our way back into the light. I have seen it happen in some people. They are so lost they never find their way back.

In case you are still wondering what the veil of darkness is, it is what people call depression. I often pray very hard that someday, medical science will offer greater insights into the human mind and provide more effective remedies to fight the darkness. Medicine, that might eradicate this condition forever. Meanwhile, for me, I know I need to make conscious efforts to stay focused on the things that bring me hope and joy in my life. For when the veil of darkness blinds my vision, it would be all I have left to hold on to, all that I would remember and all that would help me find my way out of its grasp.