My mind was as scattered as my desk today and that's saying a lot - for both of them.

The papers, pens, notebook, tape, and staplers were sprawling accross a crowded gray surface in front of my monitor.  When you glanced at it from afar it just looked like a total mess - but as you walked closer you could see the stacks - neat straight piles set quietly beside each other between the scattered pens.

That is my life right now - scattered and befuddled from afar - but placed in neat planned out little stacks as you get closer. 

      The only problem is that right now my brain can only see the endless piles - making me dizzy with raging unknown and leaving me as restless as a Thursday night when my room has been messy for a week.  I need to organize it, take it apart, or at least set it out in neat little stacks.  I want to separate each part of my life and take it aside from the rest so that each cube of life can live on its own and stop being affected by the other parts. 

   But I can't, the smallest difficulty  is threatening to take me over and I don't have the will power to take it aside, stack it neatly, and let it go - or even better - throw it out.  So instead it infests all the rest of it and rattles my mind into this frustrating  state of disorganization.

All I can do is pray and hope that somewhere there is a place where it is organized and God takes over the piles - please Lord, come soon!