AH, the lazy days of summer, ice cream cones, swimming, camping, catching fireflies, all the things we think of when we imagine a perfect summer day.  School is out and the kids are home and ......chaos. 

Summer time is a time of fun and frolic outdoors, but for a mom with more then one child it is also a time of chaos and conflict.   The first two weeks are great, the pressure is off, no school, no schedules....the kids are happy.  Then it hits, boredom.  It's not every minute, only those in which they can't think of something constructive to do, that's when the fun begins.  First comes the bickering.."Mom it's my turn on the computer and he won't get off"..."Mommy! Ethan won't stop splashing me in the pool!"... "MOM tell him to stop picking on me"... "He's looking at me!"... "He drank the last soda!!" and on and on and on.

For the sake of my own sanity and theirs I try to fill their time with chores :D, and also try to keep them busy with fun things, but it's just not possible to keep them busy enough to stop the conflict. 

I've realized that conflict isn't a bad thing, and like anything else it is another learning experience.  I've also realized their bickering and conflict bothers me FAR more then it does them.  I think they enjoy it at times.  They are learning that no matter what, it's not possible to agree and get along all the time.  However, It becomes my job to help them learn how to resolve the conflict without doing bodily harm, no easy task.

For kids, much of the time, things are very black and white, right or wrong, mine and mine.  How do we teach them about compromise? Adults have a hard enough time with compromise, so getting a child to understand this concept is not simple.  It can be done, just not always as successfully as I'd like.  Honestly there are moments when I wish I could simply just hit "mute" or pause, anything that will stop the chaos.  

Unfortunately, kids don't come with those nifty little accessories so the only option is to deal with it. This means setting time limits and implementing the "work it out or nobody gets it" rule.  If only that fixed all the problems.  I'm learning that no matter what I do, rules I put in place or consequences we enforce, conflict will always be there.  I just keep telling myself that this is a process of learning, for all of us. 

 I've learned that:

There are two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle is the truth. 

Four and five year olds don't understand the concept of "grey area". 

Teenagers LOVE to use your own words against you and will at every opportunity.

Clean has very different meanings for every child and none of them are the same as moms.

Kids learn early how to suck up.

Teenagers have alot of opinions and share them without hesitation.

To a bored four year old all walls are a potential canvas.

Even the most patient parent can only take so much cartoon network on a rainy day before developing a tick.

And finally I've learned that just because we have conflict doesn't mean we don't have a loving, close family.  I know that eventually they will learn how to disagree without chaos, and someday we'll actually get a kick out of how it used to be, and I will even miss the chaos when they are all grown.  So for now I will remind myself that no matter how crazy it gets, it will all be worth it in the end and hopefully amongst the chaos and conflict will immerge some wonderful memories.