Title: Unspoken Part: 1 Author: SweetnSpicy Email: [email protected] Disclaimer: Roswell, the show, belongs to the WB and the books to Melinda
Metz. No infringement intended. Summary: Maria gets her wish. Category: Michael/Maria Rating: PG
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I don�t know why any of this had to happen. It�s not like I asked for any of
it. I mean, sure, I wanted things between Michael and me to become more
intimate, but I really don�t think that THIS was necessary.
All I wanted was for Michael and I to have something special�something more
like what Max and Liz have. He didn�t have to give me flashes or make me
glow or anything like that. Just an occasional smile to indicate he was
happy to see me would have been nice. I couldn�t ever recall having seen him
smile in my presence. Sure, there were those really intense looks,
comforting embraces and unspoken words, but I was getting tired of not
hearing, tired of always wondering what was going on within that spiky head
of his.
It�s very strange when you see the four of us together. Max and Liz have
their arms wrapped around each other whereas Michael and I barely even hold
hands. Max greets Liz with a loving smile and a tender kiss whereas I get a
raising of the eyebrows and an awkward �hey� from Michael. I know I�d
already accepted Michael for who he is, and I know he�ll show me he cares in
his own ways once he�s ready. But it would still be nice to be reminded once
in awhile.
I had all of this on my mind that night I went to visit Michael. That night,
things started getting really intense in between us in his apartment. I
listen to his voice as he said my name, and I thought, there has to be some
love there. But what I wouldn�t give to know for sure. What I wouldn�t give
to be inside that alien head of his for just one day. As the make-out
session grew hotter, I was beginning to lose my ability to concentrate on
those details. The last thought I remember entering my mind before I gave
into the heat of the moment was, I wish I knew what went through his mind.
Later, as he led me to the door, it happened. He said good night. As I
opened my own mouth to say the same, I heard his voice again. Only, the
strange thing was, his mouth wasn�t moving. *Oh, damn* the voice said. *I�m
all out of Tabasco!* I noticed then that Michael was looking at me strangely
so I quickly tried to cover. �Uh�good--good night,� I stammered. And then I
was out the door. Well, that was weird, I thought on my way to the car. I
decided that I was probably imagining things. That so was not it.
The more I saw of Michael, the more I began to realize that the voices I was
hearing came from his mind itself. I had gotten my wish. I could tell what
Michael was thinking.
But, unfortunately, none of it was all too stimulating while Michael and I
hung with the group. I did happen, once, to overhear him mentally
appreciating one waitresses long legs, but that thought was immediately
followed by, *but Maria�s are way better.* That made me happy. But it still
wasn�t love.
However, the more time I began to spend with the alien three, the more
interesting the thoughts became. I recall a time when I heard them arguing
over Nasedo and whether or not he was evil. Nothing I hadn�t heard before.
�I know you want to believe he means well, Michael, but everything we know
about him says he�s a killer.�
�You don�t know that, Maxwell,� Michael countered. �I�m going to find out
the truth. About him�about all of us. He�s our family, Max, I know he is.�
Then I heard that voice again. As usual, his lips never moved, but I heard
the voice loud and clear.
*He has to be. This can�t be as good as it gets�there has to be something
better out there. Why won�t Max and Izzy ever listen to that voice inside
them? The one that calls them home? Oh�Michael, you�re such an idiot! How
could you forget? They already HAVE a family. That�s all that matters to
them. You�re alone and that�s just how it was meant to be. Maria was just
one lucky streak you don�t even deserve. In time, you�ll probably lose her,
too. Then it�s back to the lone days of lil� ole� Mickey Guerrin.*
I felt something painful pull at my heart. Michael was lonely. Michael didn�
t want to be alone. Michael thought he was undeserving�of me! I wanted
nothing more than to correct that thought, but I wouldn�t risk Michael
feeling his thoughts were being invaded--even though they were--and becoming
even more reserved than he already was. So, I let that thought go. But more
came. More loneliness, more worthlessness, more frustration and despair. It
all came pouring out of him. And the more I found myself falling desperately
in love with him.
I was helpless to it. The next time we were alone, we were eating cold pizza
in silence. We never spoke when we ate. As I watched Michael�s mouth go
through the motions of chewing, I was overcome by emotion. That happened a
lot lately. Michael would be doing something as simple as eating and I'd
feel that rush of tenderness. Without thinking, I reached out and gently
stroked his cheek. His eyes met mine and our gazes locked. *What is she
doing?* was the first thought I got from him. I felt a flush begin to creep
over my face. What WAS I doing? I wanted to remove my hand, but his next
thoughts stopped me. *My God, she is so beautiful. Her eyes are so green.* I
began to smile softly. *How did I get so lucky?* I slowly pulled my hand
away and looked down. His next thought nearly brought tears to my eyes. *Way
to go, Guerrin. The girl you�re in love with touches you and you don�t even
touch back. Oh well, too late for that now. You may be looking for aliens,
just don�t let this angel get away in the process. Because you love her.*
�What was that?� he asked me.
�Nothing,� I said quietly. �You just had some sauce on your face.� The whole
time, one thought kept on reverberating through my mind. Michael�s in love
with me�Michael�s in love with me�! I hadn�t known it was possible to feel
this happy about something.
�Oh. Oh yeah, that reminds me, I gotta go pick up some more Tabasco
tomorrow. I�m all out.�
�I know,� I smiled. And to my absolute shock and amazement, he smiled back.
And the only thing I can remember thinking then was how incredibly beautiful
his smile was.
I saw more smiles from him since then. I immediately noticed how the smiles
seemed to have the ability to make his entire face glow. Maybe that was just
my imagination or maybe it was just an alien thing. I don�t know.
Michael still greets me with �hey�, but his voice is somewhat softer now
when he says it. More gentle. We don�t always hold hands when we walk, but,
sometimes, he�ll take my hand from out of nowhere and grasp it tightly. I
never complain. It�s like my simple gesture that night at dinner unnerved
both of us in many ways. We still don�t say much, but the looks between us
are tender, and his eyes silently speak volumes to me. The only thing is, I
no longer hear any of it.
But I don�t need to hear his thoughts anymore. The other night, I overheard
Max and Michael talking again. What shocked me the most was that Michael was
talking about me. And what I once came close to not hearing in his head, he
now said out loud. �I don�t know what this is, Max. But I�ve never felt it
before, and I don�t wanna let it go.�
Max�s answer was simple: �Then don�t.�
I�m glad I don�t read his mind anymore, because I know my wish has served
its purpose. You don�t have to be a mind-reader to see what I see in his
eyes whenever he looks at me. Michael loves me. And I don�t even have to
think to know that I love him, too.
