Title: Once and Again (Part 3 of 5)
Author: Meredith
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://bounce.to/roswellfanfic
Category: M/L
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The sextet is giving a presentation on the history of New
Mexico, and are all working at the Evans� house when tragedy strikes
someone in the group.
Disclaimer: I know nothing, I see nothing, I write what the little
voices in my head tell me to write. Roswell� and all characters within
are property of Melinda Metz and the WB. Thanks to all the songwriters
whose songs I use in this story. It is because of you that I do what I
do. Thanks for the inspiration.
Author�s Note: Takes place between The Balance and Sexual Healing.
Anything in << >> is a character�s private thought.
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(Background Music: Counting Crows� Colorblind)
I am colorblind/coffee black and egg white/pull me out from inside/I am
ready, I am ready, I am ready I am fine/ I am covered in skin/no one
gets to come in/pull me out from inside/I am folded and unfolded and
unfolding I am...colorblind.
Max laid on his bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars he had stuck
to the ceiling. He looked at all the patterns he had made...a circular
one, one that was shaped like a big heart, and one he had made a couple
of weeks ago...that spelled out in tiny stars "ME + LP". He closed his
eyes and stood up on his bed. He touched the stars that made up those
letters, moved his fingers over them like they were precious
gems...like they were real stars too fragile to touch. That�s how he
thought of Liz sometimes. That if he touched her- if he got too close,
he�d break her- like he�d already broken part of her soul. He couldn�t
do that to her again- he couldn�t be the man she wanted him to be.
That�s why he had to stay away.
Isabel barged in his room just then. "Max, what are you doing?"
"Oh, what?" Max asked.
"Jumping on the bed again? We stopped doing that in 5th grade I
thought?" She said, smiling. She loved to tease him.
"Did you have like a meeting or something, are you the authority on
when we have to stop jumping on beds?" Max asked, starting to bounce
slowly.
"Max, what are you doing?" Isabel asked, rolling her eyes. Max started
jumping forcefully. "Max, you are acting like you�re 8. Can you please
stop doing that?" He kept jumping and grabbed a pillow, throwing it at
her. "Oh, now! You�re going to get it Maxwell!" She cried, throwing off
her sandals and jumping on the bed next to her brother. They continued
to play fight and jump on the bed for a few minutes. Laughing and
playing like they did when they were little kids. She reached above her
head and looked at what Max had made on the ceiling. He got really
embarrassed when she saw the "ME + LP" he had made.
She looked at him with sad eyes. "Max." She said quietly.
"What?" He asked. "Get out of my room, Is."
"Max, don�t shut me out ok? I know you�re hurting. Have you ever
thought that maybe...you made a mistake?"
He glared at her. "A mistake by breaking up with her? You and Michael
are always saying that it was a mistake that I even...saved her."
"Max, I never said that! I never said you shouldn�t have saved Liz!"
Isabel said. Her eyes were watering. "I can�t believe you�d even
think...I�d say such a horrible thing..." Max put his arms around
Isabel. "Max, we know you love her. We know she means a lot to you...we
just, don�t want to see you...get attached, you know?"
"I know." Max said, nodding. "I know. And I�m sorry I said that. I
didn�t mean to attack you. You know that I�m just frustrated- in
general- right now, and I�m sorry for projecting that on you."
"It�s ok." She said, looking on his nightstand for some tissue. There,
next to the box, she saw their American History book. "Ugh, what are we
going to do about this presentation?"
"We�re going to have to just bite the bullet and do it. Mr. Victor
didn�t leave us with much choice." Max said.
"Yeah, maybe it won�t be so bad. Since Mom and Dad aren�t here, we can
have everyone over here I guess." Isabel mused.
"That sounds fine." Max said. "We can talk about it with everyone
tomorrow in class."
"Yeah." Isabel said. "And Max..." She said, beginning to leave.
"Yeah?"
"Make sure Alex keeps his paws off me ok?" Isabel said.
Max couldn�t help but laugh. "Okay, Is." As she got closer to the door,
she pushed a button on his stereo.
"Jeez, Max, if you�re going to listen to Counting Crows all the time,
at least change the SONG every once in a while..." She said, pushing it
to a different track on the CD.
"Get out of here, Is!" Max said, throwing a pillow at her playfully.
* * *
It was time for history class and Mr. Victor had given each group time
at the end of class to work on their presentations.
"Okay, here�s the deal. We can either split all this up into sections,
and just present it all together..." Michael began.
"But then it might not fit together right...then we�ll sound like we
have no idea what we�re talking about..." Maria piped in.
"Well, we could all work separately and then put it together before
class..." Max suggested.
"But then we won�t have time to rehearse- it will be rushed." Liz
replied.
"I agree with Liz." Isabel said. "I think we really are going to have
to work together on this. Outside of school."
Michael groaned. "Is, I get enough of school inside school."
"Listen, space boy, you�re not going to ruin this grade for all of us.
So put up with it for a few days or I�ll tell Mr. Victor to give you an
F." Maria cried.
Max and Isabel looked at Michael. "You can�t get an F, Michael." Isabel
said quietly to him. "So please cooperate."
"Yeah, if we all cooperate we can make this as painless as possible."
Alex said, trying to mediate.
"I agree with Alex." Isabel said. Alex looked at her and grinned, but
she wasn�t paying attention. "Now, our parents are away for the
weekend, so we can work on it over at our place if you guys want."
Everyone seemed to agree with that idea.
* * *
(Background Music: Fiona Apple�s Never Is a Promise)
You'll never see -- the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow -- the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention -- to you
You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie
You'll never touch -- these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown -- to you
You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, its easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie
You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention -- to you
You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie
Liz stood in front of her mirror and surveyed the damage she had done
to her room. She was trying to find the perfect outfit to wear to meet
with her history group this evening. She was trying to find something
cute, but not too cute...she didn�t want to look like she was trying
too hard. She had tried on virtually every outfit in her closet and
finally had settled on a pair of hip-hugging blue jeans and a hot pink
tank top. << I look pretty damn good in pink>> She thought to herself.
She smiled, happy with her choice that was flirty yet not trashy. She
looked at the clock on her bedside. 6:47. Maria was picking her up in
a few minutes, so she grabbed her purse and her book bag and walked
downstairs to the front of the Crashdown to wait for her.
* * *
(Background Music: Tamia�s I�m So Into You)
With every passing moment/thoughts of you run through my head/every
time that I�m near you/I realize that you�re heaven sent/I think you�re
truly something special/just what my dreams are really made of/let�s
stay together you and me boy/there�s no one like you around/I really
like what you�ve done to me/I can�t really explain it/I�m so into you
Max sat up on his bed, looking at the clock. 6:58. It had only been 2
minutes since he last looked at it. He groaned. << When will they be
here already? >> He thought. His eyes drifted over to the picture he was
keeping in a simple gold frame. It was a picture taken by Maria of he
and Liz at the soap factory party a few weeks ago. That was the night
that he and Liz shared their first kiss. He smiled and closed his eyes.
He could still feel her warm lips on his. His hands on the soft skin of
her lower back, lifting her up above him, seemingly taking her off the
ground and melting into her. He rubbed his fingers on the picture, over
the image of Liz�s beautiful face.
"Max!" Isabel cried, breaking him out of his gaze.
"Wha-what?" He asked, quickly putting the picture back down on the
nightstand.
"They�re here." She said. "Come downstairs, and bring your history
stuff and those books on New Mexico you found." Max nodded, trying in
vain to get himself together. Before going downstairs to greet
everyone, he looked at himself in the mirror and took a deep breath.
"Maxwell Phillip Evans. You gotta be strong." He said, mimicking
Michael�s chest pounding. He had to laugh at himself. He walked
downstairs to start their presentation. But he was fooling himself.
How was he going to get any work done when Venus herself was sitting a
few feet from him?
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