Title: Once and Again (Part 3 of 5)
Author: Meredith
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://bounce.to/roswellfanfic
Category: M/L
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The sextet is giving a presentation on the history of New Mexico, and are all working at the Evans� house when tragedy strikes someone in the group.
Disclaimer: I know nothing, I see nothing, I write what the little voices in my head tell me to write. Roswell� and all characters within are property of Melinda Metz and the WB. Thanks to all the songwriters whose songs I use in this story. It is because of you that I do what I do. Thanks for the inspiration.
Author�s Note: Takes place between The Balance and Sexual Healing. Anything in << >> is a character�s private thought.

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(Background Music: Counting Crows� Colorblind)

I am colorblind/coffee black and egg white/pull me out from inside/I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am fine/ I am covered in skin/no one gets to come in/pull me out from inside/I am folded and unfolded and unfolding I am...colorblind.

Max laid on his bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars he had stuck to the ceiling. He looked at all the patterns he had made...a circular one, one that was shaped like a big heart, and one he had made a couple of weeks ago...that spelled out in tiny stars "ME + LP". He closed his eyes and stood up on his bed. He touched the stars that made up those letters, moved his fingers over them like they were precious gems...like they were real stars too fragile to touch. That�s how he thought of Liz sometimes. That if he touched her- if he got too close, he�d break her- like he�d already broken part of her soul. He couldn�t do that to her again- he couldn�t be the man she wanted him to be. That�s why he had to stay away.

Isabel barged in his room just then. "Max, what are you doing?"

"Oh, what?" Max asked.

"Jumping on the bed again? We stopped doing that in 5th grade I thought?" She said, smiling. She loved to tease him.

"Did you have like a meeting or something, are you the authority on when we have to stop jumping on beds?" Max asked, starting to bounce slowly.

"Max, what are you doing?" Isabel asked, rolling her eyes. Max started jumping forcefully. "Max, you are acting like you�re 8. Can you please stop doing that?" He kept jumping and grabbed a pillow, throwing it at her. "Oh, now! You�re going to get it Maxwell!" She cried, throwing off her sandals and jumping on the bed next to her brother. They continued to play fight and jump on the bed for a few minutes. Laughing and playing like they did when they were little kids. She reached above her head and looked at what Max had made on the ceiling. He got really embarrassed when she saw the "ME + LP" he had made.

She looked at him with sad eyes. "Max." She said quietly.

"What?" He asked. "Get out of my room, Is."

"Max, don�t shut me out ok? I know you�re hurting. Have you ever thought that maybe...you made a mistake?"

He glared at her. "A mistake by breaking up with her? You and Michael are always saying that it was a mistake that I even...saved her."

"Max, I never said that! I never said you shouldn�t have saved Liz!" Isabel said. Her eyes were watering. "I can�t believe you�d even think...I�d say such a horrible thing..." Max put his arms around Isabel. "Max, we know you love her. We know she means a lot to you...we just, don�t want to see you...get attached, you know?"

"I know." Max said, nodding. "I know. And I�m sorry I said that. I didn�t mean to attack you. You know that I�m just frustrated- in general- right now, and I�m sorry for projecting that on you."

"It�s ok." She said, looking on his nightstand for some tissue. There, next to the box, she saw their American History book. "Ugh, what are we going to do about this presentation?"

"We�re going to have to just bite the bullet and do it. Mr. Victor didn�t leave us with much choice." Max said.

"Yeah, maybe it won�t be so bad. Since Mom and Dad aren�t here, we can have everyone over here I guess." Isabel mused.

"That sounds fine." Max said. "We can talk about it with everyone tomorrow in class."

"Yeah." Isabel said. "And Max..." She said, beginning to leave.

"Yeah?"

"Make sure Alex keeps his paws off me ok?" Isabel said.

Max couldn�t help but laugh. "Okay, Is." As she got closer to the door, she pushed a button on his stereo.

"Jeez, Max, if you�re going to listen to Counting Crows all the time, at least change the SONG every once in a while..." She said, pushing it to a different track on the CD.

"Get out of here, Is!" Max said, throwing a pillow at her playfully.

* * *

It was time for history class and Mr. Victor had given each group time at the end of class to work on their presentations.

"Okay, here�s the deal. We can either split all this up into sections, and just present it all together..." Michael began.

"But then it might not fit together right...then we�ll sound like we have no idea what we�re talking about..." Maria piped in.

"Well, we could all work separately and then put it together before class..." Max suggested.

"But then we won�t have time to rehearse- it will be rushed." Liz replied.

"I agree with Liz." Isabel said. "I think we really are going to have to work together on this. Outside of school."

Michael groaned. "Is, I get enough of school inside school."

"Listen, space boy, you�re not going to ruin this grade for all of us. So put up with it for a few days or I�ll tell Mr. Victor to give you an F." Maria cried.

Max and Isabel looked at Michael. "You can�t get an F, Michael." Isabel said quietly to him. "So please cooperate."

"Yeah, if we all cooperate we can make this as painless as possible." Alex said, trying to mediate.

"I agree with Alex." Isabel said. Alex looked at her and grinned, but she wasn�t paying attention. "Now, our parents are away for the weekend, so we can work on it over at our place if you guys want."

Everyone seemed to agree with that idea.

* * *

(Background Music: Fiona Apple�s Never Is a Promise)

You'll never see -- the courage I know

Its colors' richness won't appear within your view

I'll never glow -- the way that you glow

Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights

The shades and shadows undulate in my perception

My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights

I understand what I am still too proud to mention -- to you

You'll say you understand, but you don't understand

You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye

But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch -- these things that I hold

The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own

You'll never feel the heat of this soul

My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown -- to you

You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, its easier than it seems

You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high

But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live the life that I live

I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night

You'll never hear the message I give

You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights

The shades and shadows undulate in my perception

My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights

I realize what I am now too smart to mention -- to you

You'll say you understand, you'll never understand

I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why

I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am

You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry

But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie

Liz stood in front of her mirror and surveyed the damage she had done to her room. She was trying to find the perfect outfit to wear to meet with her history group this evening. She was trying to find something cute, but not too cute...she didn�t want to look like she was trying too hard. She had tried on virtually every outfit in her closet and finally had settled on a pair of hip-hugging blue jeans and a hot pink tank top. << I look pretty damn good in pink>> She thought to herself. She smiled, happy with her choice that was flirty yet not trashy. She looked at the clock on her bedside. 6:47. Maria was picking her up in a few minutes, so she grabbed her purse and her book bag and walked downstairs to the front of the Crashdown to wait for her.

* * *

(Background Music: Tamia�s I�m So Into You)

With every passing moment/thoughts of you run through my head/every time that I�m near you/I realize that you�re heaven sent/I think you�re truly something special/just what my dreams are really made of/let�s stay together you and me boy/there�s no one like you around/I really like what you�ve done to me/I can�t really explain it/I�m so into you

Max sat up on his bed, looking at the clock. 6:58. It had only been 2 minutes since he last looked at it. He groaned. << When will they be here already? >> He thought. His eyes drifted over to the picture he was keeping in a simple gold frame. It was a picture taken by Maria of he and Liz at the soap factory party a few weeks ago. That was the night that he and Liz shared their first kiss. He smiled and closed his eyes. He could still feel her warm lips on his. His hands on the soft skin of her lower back, lifting her up above him, seemingly taking her off the ground and melting into her. He rubbed his fingers on the picture, over the image of Liz�s beautiful face.

"Max!" Isabel cried, breaking him out of his gaze.

"Wha-what?" He asked, quickly putting the picture back down on the nightstand.

"They�re here." She said. "Come downstairs, and bring your history stuff and those books on New Mexico you found." Max nodded, trying in vain to get himself together. Before going downstairs to greet everyone, he looked at himself in the mirror and took a deep breath.

"Maxwell Phillip Evans. You gotta be strong." He said, mimicking Michael�s chest pounding. He had to laugh at himself. He walked downstairs to start their presentation. But he was fooling himself.

How was he going to get any work done when Venus herself was sitting a few feet from him?

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