Title: If They Only Knew
Author: Jenn
The Disclaimer & Such: Sadly *sniffle* I do not own Roswell or any of
its characters. Max, Liz & co. belong to Melinda Metz & the United
Paramount Network (You lucky people). All other characters in the story are
mine. But if I had my way I would definitely own Jason Behr ;)~~ ok that's
enuff I'm getting carried away. On with the show.
Rating: R ~ For situations and language
Category: Would you expect anything else? M/L mostly but the gang's
all there. Hey I’m a total Dreamgirl!!
Summary: For three and a half years, Elizabeth Parker has kept a
dark secret from her friends. The real question is if her friends knew her
secret would they all still love her?
Author’s Note:This is a Tess-free Alterna-Roswell. Let’s pretend that
they rescued Max and things went back to what they consider to be normal.
Nasedo did replace Pierce but little Miss Homewrecker Harding died in a car
accident a few years back so technically their destinies don’t exist anymore.
This story takes place towards the end of their junior year (April-May).
Feedback: Greatly appreciated.......I know I still haven’t finished “My
Ain’t That Just An Interesting Twist of Fate” yet but I got the inspiration
for this one and felt compelled to write it. I hope you like it.
Now on to your regularly scheduled fanfic.................
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Part 5 (I’m Never Gonna Dance Again...)
After being ordered by her father to go on a much needed break, Liz
decided she’d go upstairs and catch up on her sleep. Which was all well and
good because no one was home upstairs. Her Mom was at a restaurant
convention in California, her dad was running the Crashdown, and Montega
was out with Micheal until the end of her shift. She turned on her CD Player
and laid down on her bed. 20 minutes later, all she found herself doing was
staring at the ceiling listening to the mix CD Alex had burned for her a few
weeks ago. Suddenly, the next thing she heard was the opening lines to the
dance mix of Allure’s “All Cried Out”. And she realized the words rang some
truth; especially if she thought about everything from Max’s point of
view.
All alone on a Sunday morning,
outside I see the rain is falling.
Inside I’m slowly dying,
but the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying.
And you,
Don’t you know my tears will burn the pillows.
Set this place on fire cause I’m tired of your lies.
“Let’s review the facts here, Liz.” She said as she began thinking out
loud.
“You’re a 17 year old single mother whose daughter is a day shy of her 4th
birthday. All of the aforementioned facts you’ve kept secret since you
learned you were pregnant. Your *family* didn’t exactly swallow the situation
with a grain of salt. And if you add in that pesky
friends-hate-friends-keeping-life-altering secrets thing. You were basically
screwed from the beginning.” She told herself as she looked longingly at a
picture of her Max, Micheal, Maria, Alex and Isabel in happier
times.
All I needed was a simple hello,
but the traffic was so noisy that,
you could not here me cry.
I gave you my love in vain.
My body never knew such pleasure,
my heart never knew such pain.
And you, leave me so confused.
Now I’m all cried out over you.
“Your fairy tale is long over Lizzie. Your boyfriend asked for a break which
I’m sure in no time will become a break-up. Your best friend *sister* hasn’t
made a single attempt to talk to you and avoids eye contact at all cost. And
Isabel and Alex have been giving you the hi-friend-bye-friend treatment all
week. Granted you’ve got Micheal, and he’s been trying really hard to cheer
you up. But at this rate you’re probably never going to be happy
again.”
Never wanted to see things your way,
had to go astray.
Why was I such a fool?
Now I see that the grass is greener.
Is it too late for me to find my way home?
How could I be so wrong,
leaving you all alone.
Liz then shifted her gaze to a picture of her and Montega. But oddly enough
it wasn’t Montega she was thinking about. “You’re being unfair here. What
about Max? You can’t even begin to fathom how it feels to be in his shoes
right now. One day he’s talking about the two of you getting married after
you graduate. The next he learns that the love of his life has a daughter. So
it’s only understandable that he asked you for a break.”
Don’t you know my tears will cause an inferno.
Romance often fades.
Why should I take the blame?
You were the one who left me neglected,
So sorry baby.
“I mean C’mon did you really expect him to except the fact that your first
child isn’t his first also!?!?! Yeah that must have gone over real well with him.
Hey Max I’ve gone some news for you honey, I’ve got a three year old
daughter and I’ve hid it from everyone for years! Yea I’ll bet he took it
great.” She spat out with an almost Maria-like sarcasm.
Apology not accepted.
Add me to the broken hearts you’ve collected.
I gave you all of me,
how was I to know you would weaken.
It was always a line.
I don’t know what to do.
Now I’m all cried out over you.
“Were you that naive that you expected him to accept Montega with open
arms? She just serves as a reminder to him that he wasn’t your first. But
then again that wasn’t really by choice. Which is not to say that Montega is a
mistake. Because I never regret keeping her at all. I never will. She saved
me from myself. If I didn’t have her at that point, I don’t know what I would
have done.”
I gave you my love in vain.
My body never knew such pleasure,
my heart never knew such pain.
And you, leave me so confused.
Now I’m all cried out over you.
Suddenly Liz’s musings were interupted by a voice from her doorway. “Liz
what exactly did you mean it wasn’t by choice?” She turned over to find
Micheal standing there.
‘Shit, shit, shit. Isn’t this just priceless. Note to self: in the future when
you wanna think out loud, close your door and don’t get so lost in your own
thoughts that you can’t here someone come in.’
“Micheal, how long have you been standing there?”
He crossed his arms and gave her a stern look. “Long enough.”
‘Shit he heard everything. Think fast Liz. Keep it calm. Keep it
calm.’?
“I uh, didn’t here you come in.” ‘That’s it change the subject.’
“Yea I noticed.” Gee Guerin, way to sound concerned. You sound like an
asshole.’
“ How much of my ramblings did you hear?”
“Too much little sis.” His comment made the edges of her lips curl into a
slight smile. They had become so close these days as opposed to a year ago.
There was a lot of awkwardness between them way back when. But now they
were ‘brother’ and ‘sister’.
“Is there room for one more?” He asked while motioning to the bed.
“Yep.” Liz quickly sat up to make room for him and he wasted no time sitting
next to her.
“I think it’s time that you and I had a discussion about what really happened
between you and Montega’s father.” ‘Play dumb Guerin. Let her think you
don’t already know.’
“Kevin.” She interjected.
“Okay Kevin. So what happened?” He noticed Liz shudder slightly as he said
Kevin’s name.
“Pro..Promise you won’t hate me?” She asked in a very timid tone.
He put his arm around her. “Lizzie, just tell me. You and I both know that I
couldn’t possibly hate you no matter what you do.” He said in an endearing
and very uncharacteristic tone. “And besides that you never answered my
original question.”
“What was it again?” ‘Liz you heard what he asked you the first time.
Don’t expect him to believe that you don’t remember.’
“What did you mean it wasn’t by choice?”
Liz suddenly turned pale and had a panicked expression on her face. ‘Oh
my God I can’t do this.’
“Liz what is it?” He asked in a concerned tone even though he knew what she
was about to tell him. He was still reeling from hearing the news the first
time around. And the look on her face kinda scared him.
“I meant......” She stuttered. “I meant that...” She broke down and grabbed
on to Micheal for dear life. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can Lizzie.” He said while stroking her hair.
In between sniffles she managed to say: “I’m gonna try but you have to
promise me you won’t say anything until I’m done.”
“Scouts honor.” Liz just laughed.
“You were never a boy scout so that doesn’t count.”
“Liz just tell me. I promise not to yell. I’ve been worried about you lately.
And I wanna know what happened with Kevin that caused you so much
pain.”
The paleness returned at the rementioning of his name. Liz just kept getting
flashes of Kevin on top of her telling her to relax. But she decided it was
now or never to tell him. “Well I’ll start from the beginning.”
“Okay.”
“You know how I don’t stay in Roswell for the summers?”
“Yep. Max would moon over it every year. He hated the summer season, more
then I hated the school year.” Micheal chuckled.
“Well I always went to Texas to stay with my Uncle Tony, Aunt Terese, and
my cousin Marc.”
“Kay.”
“The summer after I turned thirteen, Marc decided to take me to one of his
friends’ parties. But we didn’t let any of our parents know about it.”
“Kay.” Micheal shook his head at her not really seeing where this was
going.
“Well at the party, Marc let me have some beer. I was mildly trashed as
Marc so bluntly put it.” She smirked at the memory of Marc describing her
after chugging her first beer.
Micheal motioned for her to go on.
“So anyway his best friend at the time...”
“Kevin?”
“Yep. Asked me to dance. I had been in love with this kid as far back as I
can remember. So naturally I said yes.”’
“Uh huh.”
“Well about twenty minutes later, we were upstairs in a bedroom making out.
And I remember feeling numb and not really being able to move. So I asked
Kevin what was in the drink he gave me cause I felt kinda funny.” Tears
began silently streaming down her face.
“’He told me that he gave me something to ‘loosen me up.’ All I can remember
was trying to get him off me and he just kept going and going. I finally gave
up on fighting him off.” At that point she broke down.
“Lizzie you don’t have to tell me the rest. I think I know enough to get the
gist of it. It’s okay. I’m so sorry.” Micheal said as he held onto Liz while she
cried.
A teary eyed Liz stared straight into his eyes. “Don’t be it has nothing to do
with you. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah well about a month after that I
finally got up the courage to tell my uncle and cousin what had happened.
They called my parents and the police. The cops never found him or his twin
sister Jana.” She said bitterly. “Their adoptive mom was so devastated that
she killed herself.”
“Poor woman.”
“Yeah well by then my mom had taken me to the doctor and he told me I was
5 weeks pregnant.”
“Liz how did you hide it?”
“Remember in the beginning of seventh grade, everyone thought I had
Mono?”
“Oh that explains that.”
“But I truly believe that if I didn’t have Montega, I would have turned out
like Mrs. Montalvo.”
Micheal hugged her tightly. “Well I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say
I’m glad you didn’t.” She lowered her head.
“Even Max?” A silent tear slipped down her cheek.
“Yes even Max. He loves you with all his heart. But I think it’s time that you
tell him the truth.”
“Will he even listen to me?”
“Maxwell has no choice. He misses you and it’s driving him nuts not being
with you. Isabel told me all he does is sit in his room and mope.”
“That’s cause I broke his heart.”
“Earth to Liz.” She smiled at his little comment. “Tell me how in the hell did
you break his heart? Montega was born in the pre Max-&-Liz era. And it’s
not like you kept her existence a secret to hurt him. He’s just confused. He
doesn’t know what’s up and what’s down at this moment.”
“Which is understandable.”
“Which brings me to why I came over.”
“Which is?”
“Ya see,” He said with a devilish grin on his face, “you and Montega are
coming with me for the weekend.”
“Oh really. And just where are we going? Oh brother of mine.”
“Yes really. I figured you guys need a break from all the insanity around
here. So pack some clothes little sis. We’re going camping. ”
“But...”
“But what? Lizzie you need this and you know it. Besides you’ve never taken
Montega anywhere exciting yet, have ya?”
Micheal was right she hadn’t taken Montega anywhere meaningful yet. But
truth be told, Liz really didn’t feel like doing anything. “No I haven’t. But...”
she protested further as her father walked into the room.
“No buts kiddo your mother and I discussed this and Micheal’s right. You
need this.”
She just shrugged her shoulders. “If you say so.”
“Yeah we do. Now get packing.”
“Ok guys fine, I’ll go. But now you have to answer my question. How did the
topic of Max and I talking lead to the topic of camping?”
Both Mr. Parker and Micheal just looked at each other trying to come up
with an answer.
“Y’know what? Never mind. And besides, with my brother and father
scheming something up, I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.”
**TBC**
[Prologue] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]