Title: After Vegas
Author: Eva
Disclaimer: Roswell isn’t mine.
Rating: R, for language.
Category: Michael and Liz, Kyle and Isabel, Maria and Alex, and Max and Tess.
Summary: This is a challenge from CarolRoswellFan, it’s conditions being, it takes place after VLV and M/T, Ma/A, K/I, Mi/L are the pairings required.
Author's Notes: The story will take place through a series of journal excerpts, yes everyone keeps a journal!
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After Vegas
Part 1
*Michael’s journal*
Roswell NM.
I hate this place. What I want to know is why the fuck whoever sent us down here left us in fucking Roswell NM? Cause the joke’s on them.
Vegas. Now that was one hell of a town. Things happen in Vegas. Crazy fucked up shit.
I’d enjoyed Vegas. Even if I spent most of the time in jail with Max. Although I guess I’d of rather been spending time with…well never mind that.
So after the sheriff caught onto our scheme, we all trucked our way back to fucking Roswell NM.
You can see how happy I am about this right?
Although I was lucky. No parents meant not getting grounded. Yeah. Lucky me.
Max and Isabel were condemned to endless family nights. Whatever. They love to play fucking Monopoly. Now that’s a game I never understood. To finish it takes forever. And Isabel cheats. She changes the money with her powers. Not that anyone else ever managed to catch on. Hell, I just followed her example. Hence the never finishing a game part.
Maria was really unlucky. I haven’t seen her since we ‘d gotten back. The Sheriff told Amy about the whole deal. And Amy went ballistic. Currently I don’t think I have a girlfriend. Access to the Jetta has been revoked completely and the only outings Maria gets to go on are to family dinners with Kyle, Tess, Sean, her mom, and Valenti. Not what I’d call fun.
Tess and Kyle’s punishment were those same family dinners. I think that they were all forced to play charades. Another completely pointless game. Personally who wants to look like an idiot while people are trying to figure out what the hell you’re trying to act out without laughing? Not me. I hate to be laughed at. Not big on laughing either.
Alex had merely lost computer privileges for a week. He wasn’t happy about it, but he certainly sneaked his way around that one. He hung out with Maria practicing songs with her after school or something. I’m pretty sure that he checked his email when there. In fact I think that’s how he found out Leanna and he were over.
Now he and Maria were drowning their sorrow in music. Ever since she’d asked him to be her accompanist in Vegas they’d been seriously pursuing the idea of performing together.
Whatever. I guess they sound good. What do I know of music?
I hadn’t really seen anyone since we’d gotten back.
Well, except for Liz. Whose punishment apparently was to put in a ton of extra hours at the Crashdown. I’m guessing she doesn’t get paid. Not that you earn a lot in the first place. God knows that with everyone out of commission I’ve even been putting extra hours.
Liz.
Lately she’s been in my thoughts a lot. I guess because she’s the only person I’ve been spending any sort of time with. Hell, I even had dinner with the Parkers one night.
Yeah. I was surprised too.
I’m not known for being family dinner material. But somehow it was okay with the Parkers.
We’d both finished closing the diner up, when Jeff, Liz’s dad, announced that dinner was on the table, and invited me to join them.
The thought of making myself dinner when I’d already been offered one was too tempting to resist. I jumped at the offer of a decent home cooked meal. I work at a grease joint; my cooking isn’t what you’d call home cooking.
Dinner with them was so different from dinner with the Evans. The Parkers were not the All-American family, loving and supportive the way the Evans were. Nancy, Liz’s mom, was a…well she was a bitch. Liz is nothing like her. Jeff is a lot nicer, but he’s too twitchy. I think that drives everyone in the family crazy.
I’d never noticed that Liz really didn’t get along with her parents. I always thought she was a complete goody-two-shoes. You know Shirley Temple.
What was great about the Parkers was that even in their dysfunction, they were so cool to hang out with. I was totally okay for them. They didn’t need me to be this perfect kid; all they needed for me to fit in was dysfunction. And after years with Hank as a parent, I can tell you dysfunction comes as second nature. Hell, it’s probably my only nature.
The Parkers don’t play family games after dinner.
How fucking amazing is that? The Evans made me participate in that form of torture one time to many, what can I say?
Instead Nancy, who is anal as all hell, seriously I thought Isabel was bad, but Nancy takes the cake on being a control freak, anyway she starts cleaning. Everything. She even mops the floor. Their floors are spotless.
Jeff goes out to the alley to have a smoke. After spending time with Nancy, I totally get him. I’d take up smoking if I had to spend a lifetime with that woman.
And Liz, well she goes to her balcony. She invited me to hang out there with her. We didn’t talk much. Just sort of sat around in silence. Looking up at the stars. Liz wrote in her journal for a while and I borrowed a piece of paper and doodled for a while.
I don’t think Maria and I have ever spent that much time together without speaking. Well, unless you count kissing. But just sort of hanging out alone without needing anything more than the person’s presence. I don’t think I’d ever had a more amazing night.
Which quite frankly scared the shit out of me.
Liz had finished serving her time today. And on impulse I’d invited her over for dinner. You know as a thank you. I even made fajitas. Home cooked. Mexican food was her favorite.
How do I know this? Well, I read the girl’s journal once. I think that’s why we’re so oddly comfortable in each other’s presence. I know her secrets and she knows mine. Hell, she even saw where I lived when Hank was still around. She’d even seen Hank.
Yeah so I’m scared shitless.
Fuck, I’ve even picked up the place.
That’s what’s worrying me.
Why am I so excited about Liz coming over to hang out? I mean its not like I want to date her or anything, I mean I have Maria. Right?
Shit.
I can’t be in love with Liz Parker.
God, I hope not. She’s exhausting.
Fuck. I hope to God she’s exhausting.
I did not just think that.
I’m not in love with Liz Parker.
I mean I’ll admit I’ve done stupid things in my life. Blowing fifteen thousand dollars in Las Vegas was probably one of them. But falling in love with Liz.
That would take the cake.
Part 2
*Liz’s journal*
Sometimes you get so bogged down in the what ifs and what could have beens that you don’t even realize what is going on right now. That road trip we took to Las Vegas was supposed to help me get over the future I was supposed to have. The future I gave up to save Max.
On our last day there Max told me he had a vision of us while he left the hotel. We were dressed for a wedding, our wedding, and I was in his arms and he was twirling us around. How was I to tell him that it really happened? That two years from now w would have gotten married in an Elvis chapel, and live so very happily together.
That it could never happen because it would mean the end of the world.
That our love for each other would destroy our world.
How could I explain that what he saw was like some glitch in the matrix, where a future moment in time still hadn’t let go of its stranglehold and coexisted on the same plane as us for a second before being forced to let go.
Of course that wouldn’t work if time were linear, but I feel like I’ve had enough evidence that time exists on a plane and that the point of intersection affect the complexities of the human psyche, it would allow feasible explanations for psychics, they are people who are aware of time on more than one level. But I don’t really have the space to get into all the specifics. Although if I were to continue along that vein it could very well lead to proof that time as we conceptualize it does not exist, therefore…
Right, suffice to say that hearing Max tell me about the flash, I felt my heart get ripped into shreds. Dancing in his arms was like a special sort of heaven and hell. We held hands all the way back to the suite. For those moments before Valenti caught us, I thought that maybe it was our chance to reconnect.
Unfortunately (or is it fortunate, I no longer know) I had time to regain my focus. I can’t betray Max. Even though he may not exist anymore. I can’t let him know what I’ve done and haven’t done. I can only hope he knows in his heart that I truly love him, that I did it all out of love for him.
I’ve really got to move on.
Since getting back to Roswell I haven’t seen much of him. I haven’t seen much of anybody. Well that’s not completely true.
Alex is always stopping in at the Crashdown. He didn’t really get into a load of trouble. Not like the rest of us. Excluding Michael of course.
Maria, I think has it the worst. Max and Isabel just have been spending a lot of time with their parents, but they like doing that anyway. Kyle, Tess, and Maria have been spending a lot of time with each other as well, basically forced to chaperone Valenti and Amy. Pure torture. And loads of ick factor.
Maria and Alex have been holed up together working on some singing project. I thought after the whole deal on Valentine’s Day last year, Maria and Alex would never play together again. But they have been. I think Maria is well on her way to being an official member of The Whits. I guess I’m really excited for them. Although I do feel a little excluded. They have this thing they can do together and love to do. And I’m not invited.
With Maria is in so much trouble with her mom, I barely get to see her. When we work, it’s been a madhouse at the Crashdown and then she has to go straight home. Her mom picks her up and drops her off. Not even Sean is allowed to, Amy’s really keeping tabs on her daughter.
Speaking of Sean, I think we’re really becoming good friends. At one point I thought, “maybe he’s the guy who can help me get over Max”, but after the whole thing in Vegas. I guess I’m looking for more than whatever I can have with Sean. I want a real connection.
Something like my connection with Max. Just as strong. Or stronger. I can’t help but wonder if it’s an alien thing though. Because if it is…
This is getting to be depressing.
Another person I’ve been sending time with is Michael. I know, how weird is that? I swear instead of returning to Roswell, we’ve been sucked into the twilight zone. Michael even had dinner with my parents and me.
It was real nice. Dad’s always liked Michael. And even Mom warmed up to him a bit. Which is amazing.
Ok, so last night I had dinner with Michael. I mean he made me dinner. My favorite, fajitas.
Did I mention he made them himself? It was really sweet of him.
I was surprised he knew that they were my favorite. He wouldn’t tell me how it was he knew.* I guess Maria told him.
It was a really nice dinner. I had a great time.
It’s funny because I’ve been spending a lot of time alone with Michael. I mean we’ve never really talked before. Mainly because he’s not much of a talker. And also because I thought he didn’t like me.
But I guess that isn’t true.
Spending time with him is so wonderful. He is not at all demanding. He doesn’t need me to play a role. Be someone I’m not or someone I can’t be.
Unlike Max.
And Maria. And my parents for that matter.
It’s weird how well Michael knows me without me having to say a word.
*I just remembered how he knew about my love of fajitas. He read my journal. The jerk. Which is probably the reason he knows me so well. Although remembering his words when he brought it back, I guess that’s why I’d forgotten about the whole thing. What did he mean when he said “Thank you for giving me one more reason to envy Max Evans.”? How can you be mad at someone who says that to you?
I should really be mad about it, but it’s kind of a relief. Knowing that I don’t have to explain myself. That he knows.
That he understands. Which is probably the best part of it all.
In a way I think I know him too. I understand him.
It’s so nice to be able to sit in complete silence with someone and not feel pressured to make small talk. After dinner we sat and watched an old Hitchcock movie, “The Birds”, which really freaked me out. I mean the special effects were so cheesy, but it was such a chilling film. But Michael was really cool about it. He made sure I felt safe.
Michael had to walk me home I was so freaked. We had some ice cream on my balcony. We didn’t talk much. At all actually. I just watched him as he drew. Pretending to be writing in this journal. But I was mesmerized by the way he held the pencil in his hands, the way he concentrated on the blank piece of paper. Changing it from nothing to everything.
It was really late when he left.
And he’d left behind his sketch. So I took a look.
He had drawn me.
I don’t know what to think. I mean what does a drawing mean? And did he mean for me to see it?
Because it was beautiful.
And I don’t know what to think.
Part 3
*Tess’s journal*
I’ve never spent so much time with humans in my life, than I have been forced to do win the past two weeks.
Strangely it wasn’t as bad as Nasedo used to make it sound.
I have a family now. Jim and Kyle, they care about me, they are my family. The way the Deluccas are a family. A little fucked up but real. I never realized how much I was missing out on with Nasedo. I never knew what being a family was.
All my life I’ve thought I’d find family in Max, Isabel, and Michael. But it took a group of humans to show me what being a family actually was. I guess I understand now why they are so tied to this place.
Kyle and I have outing privileges again. Finally.
Even though I’ve been I’ve been enjoying this family thing, it’s nice to know I can get away from it.
I really want to see Max. I know I know. It’s sad. But I missed him.
My entire life I’ve missed him.
*Isabel’s journal*
Max is so boring.
I snuck out last night last night with Kyle. There was a party at the old soap factory.
Of course I didn’t tell Max anything. He’d just pull his “I’m the King and you shouldn’t be behaving irresponsibly act”. Have I mentioned how sick I am of his self-righteousness? We’re teenagers. We should be having fun.
Las Vegas reminded me of that. Spending time with that man, I realized that I have so much to do before I’m ready to be an adult. I want to have some fun. So I called Kyle. I mean I know what he dreams about, and that boy definitely knows what it is to be a teenager.
The party was awesome. I wore my black halter with the rhinestones decorating the front and my favorite pair of red leather pants. Kyle’s reaction when he saw me was priceless. It was kind of funny to see the guy who’s still freaked about belonging to the “I know an Alien” club react so positively. I felt beautiful.
The lights and music of the party are what dominate my memories. I think I danced the entire night with Kyle.
It’s kind of weird because after mingling a bit at the party my next memory is someone running their fingers through my hair and kissing me good night.
“Good night Princess,” were the last words I heard. But I’m pretty sure Dad didn’t put me to sleep, because I wouldn’t be free to go out again tonight. I’m pretty sure I’ll be spending more time with Kyle. He’s about as mad at Max as I am.
*Maria’s journal*
Lord if I have to spend one more evening chaperoning my mom and the Sheriff I’ll die.
Seriously.
Not that spending time with Tess, Kyle, and Sean hasn’t been fun.*
*Yeah. I know. Weird huh?
Anyway, so Alex and I have been working on a few songs. I’m so psyched. This is our latest. It’s called “All”; I think we should dedicate it to our fellow Czechoslovakians.
I feel so much
Every time my lips touch yours
It’s not enough
Because I want more
When you look
Into my eyes and see me
It’s not enough
Because I want more
I need to feel
What is within your heart
I need to know
What you hold within your soul
You’ve always held back
Hidden behind yourself
And I want more
I want it all
I want you
I want it all
-words by Maria Delucca, music by Alexander Whitman
I’ve realized that singing is all I want to do. Alex is really the only person who understands it. And supports it. Mom totally flipped out on me when I told her, geez I had to give her some of my cedar oil.
But I’m in the band.
Even though they call me Yoko.
I’m the lead singer of the Whits!
I even wrote out my Grammy acceptance speech.
Work has been crazy. With rehearsals and schoolwork and Valenti-Delucca family nights. I’ve barely had a moment to myself.
I haven’t even had the chance to tell Liz any of this.
I think things are over with Michael.
I haven’t been able to talk to him because Mom hates hearing the name Michael, even if it’s not Michael Guerin I’m referring to. In fact, she hates him more than the thought of me having a singing career. And if I were forced to make the choice between Michael and singing. I know the choice I’d make.
Singing makes me happy.
Everything with Michael is so complicated. It’s such a struggle to get him to be there for me emotionally. I want so much more than he can give.
**Alex just called we have a gig Friday. I may have to cut off my left arm to get my mom to let me go. But oh my God! We’ve got a gig!!!!
*Kyle’s journal*
I should have known that alcohol made aliens act loopy.
I got Isabel Evans drunk last night.
I swear it was completely accidental. Yeah right.
I got every guy’s wet dream drunk last night accidentally. Even I don’t buy it.
I just didn’t think a sip was all it took.
She looked amazing. Wearing some shirt with sparkly things, her breasts, I mean her figure looked…
Buddha says I should practice abstinence. Well let’s just say I wasn’t feeling like abstaining when I saw Isabel. We danced all night. I couldn’t let her out of my sight. It was like the Ice Princess was gone, and instead there was this fun warm person grinding with me.
The trouble I went to sneaking her back home was totally worth it.
I just sat with her, threading my fingers through her hair. She has amazing hair, it’s really soft. So I kissed her good night and left.
Max caught me while I was leaving. Asked me what the hell I was up to. So I told him.
Isabel is so going to zap me with her death ray.
I told him, Isabel and I were secretly dating.
I think we have a date tonight.
I’m so zapped.
*Max’s journal*
I think I’ve finally figured out why Michael hates to play Monopoly with Isabel. She cheats.
I should have figured that out ages ago, but in my defense she’s really sneaky about it. Mom and Dad don’t have a clue.
Today Iz and I get our freedom back.
And as much as I love my parents I can’t wait.
Things between Liz and me look like they’re finally going to change for the better. I saw a flicker in her eyes when I told her about the flash. For a moment it felt so real. I know that I want to get back to that again.
I think we might be able to move forward. Get back our relationship to what it once was.
Right. Michael would say I have my head in the clouds.
Not only has she been spending time with Sean Delucca, but also she slept with Kyle.
We won’t be able to move forward until I forget that.
But how do I forget?
Oh and the weirdest thing happened last night. I caught Kyle leaving Izzy’s room. What the hell is going on with them?
What is up with Kyle? But if they’re really dating, then maybe I do have a chance with Liz. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince Liz I’m a much better catch than Sean.
I love her.
Why isn’t that enough?
*Alex’s journal*
Why is it that all the women in my life are just friends?
Isabel couldn’t risk making herself vulnerable. So she stuck me in the friendship shelf.
I adored her. I made a fool of myself for her. I allowed myself to be treated like shit.
So when I went to Sweden I found someone new. Someone who wouldn’t stick me on the friendship shelf. But Leanna did. Only she at least waited until I was across the Atlantic.
Lately I’ve been spending time with Maria.
And I’m afraid I’m stuck on the shelf.
Part 4
*Michael’s journal*
It’s over between Maria and me. I wish I felt more broken up about it but we’ve always wanted different things.
We had the talk. In the Eraser Room at school. Ironic, huh?
It was the only place we could be alone together without Amy finding out and freaking out. That woman hates me. See, Maria wants to become a singer, which is why I set up that whole lounge act thing for her in Las Vegas. I don’t know what she was complaining about I was a good boyfriend, I was supporting her.
Anyway, she had this whole list of complaints, number one being that I wasn’t supportive of her. Number two being that I was selfish and uncommunicative. Frankly I don’t know what she wants to hear. Anyway, those were the excuses.
Thing is Amy made her chose. Either it was singing or it was me. And Maria chose singing. I thought I’d feel really hurt.
But the truth is Maria’s never really understood me.
The truth is simple we were going in separate directions.
It’s just became more obvious than ever now. Or maybe we’re just both ready to face it.
I haven’t told Liz yet. I want to though.
Which is kind of freaky.
Speaking of Liz, the night I had her over for dinner was great, I drew Liz that night. Since then I haven’t stopped. It’s like that time I kept drawing the dome over and over again.
Except that this time the dome is Liz. I can’t stop. Watercolors, charcoal, acrylics, oils, ink, every medium I can think of, but I can’t stop. I don’t think I could even if things were different.
Everything is so fucking complicated. You see I left that first drawing behind.
It’s why I’ve had to do it over and over.
But she hasn’t said anything.
And now things are all weird between us.
Shit. I just realized I’m obsessing.
Changing the subject.
I saw Maria with Alex the other day, and the way he was looking at her reminded me of the time he punched me because everyone thought I was cheating on Maria with Courtney. See, now I’m thinking maybe there was more to that than just friendship.
I keep asking myself how do I feel about all of this.
I know, I know I think a little bit of Maria has rubbed off on me.
But I’m really ok. He’d be able to give her what I wasn’t willing to give her. Everything she wanted. Everything she deserved.
I hope Maria finds happiness.
She’s an awesome friend.
I wonder how Liz will feel if Maria and Alex ever decide to officially hook up.
The other day Liz and I almost kissed.
I know.
That’s another reason why things are so fucking weird between us.
I don’t even know how it happened. We were cleaning up the Crashdown; we’ve both been on perennial closing duty since Vegas. And I was mopping, she was wiping the counter, so I lean on it to bother her. And she looks up at me, her eyes, they’re just so beautiful; I wanted to get lost in them. So we’re leaning over the counter one moment, our breath’s mingling and the space between us slowly dwindling, when Jeff comes down and tells us dinner is ready.
I didn’t know whether I wanted to thank him, or kill him for the interruption.
Oh, yeah. I’ve had dinner with the Parkers again. At least every time I’ve had to close, I’ve been invited over for dinner. It’s weird ‘cause I think Nancy and Jeff really like me. Not even the Evans really liked me, they tolerated me because they love Maxwell and Izzy.
But the Parkers really like me.
Except that night was weird. Not because of dinner or anything, that was nice. It was fucking great.
No it was weird because when Liz and I went out onto the balcony as we usually do after dinner, she wouldn’t look at me.
I had never realized how much I wanted Liz to see me. How much I thought she already did.
Shit.
I’m obsessing again.
So anyway, this is fucking weird. Maxwell tells me that the other night he found Kyle in Izzy’s room. When he confronts her she doesn’t remember any of it.
So Maxwell goes ballistic…proceeds to try to kick Kyle’s ass…I pull them apart before things get out of hand. Right. Izzy arrives furious. And the shit literally hits the fan. I’m not kidding she’s yelling at me, at Kyle, and then she proceeds to kick Maxwell’s sorry ass. Kyle had to pull her off him.
So I ask them…what? Are you two dating now?
Isabel’s reply is to slam Kyle against a wall and kiss him.
That’ll teach me to ask ridiculous questions.
Although frankly I think everyone was surprised by that one. Even Kyle and Izzy.
They’re making it official. The Ice Princess and Buddha Boy. A couple made in heaven.
Although to be serious they are surprisingly good together.
Max is still unhappy about it. But I think his unhappiness stems more from his frustration with Liz.
She doesn’t want to talk to him. At least that’s what Max tells me.
Liz, she’s just so sad all the time. I asked her once, before things got all weird what was going on with her.
She said she was letting go of some dreams.
Then she started crying and I ended up with a wet shirt. She cried forever.
That’ll teach me to ask a girl a question and expect a normal answer.
Although I guess it made her feel better because she didn’t seem so sad the last time I saw her. But then I ruined everything by almost kissing her.
Fuck.
Again.
Ok, so Tess. Maxwell tells me that he’s been spending some time with Tess.
**Could this be what’s making Liz so sad?
She came over the other night with a gift for him. A black sweater shirt thing. One of those weird things chicks buy and say you should wear. Which actually means you have to wear it or else you have a very angry woman in your hands.
Maxwell asked me what he should do.
Since when do I know anything about chicks?
He was worried that his wearing it would upset Liz, and if he should talk to her about Tess again.
If you ask me that sounded like a really bad idea. So I told him not to. That he didn’t owe Liz any explanations because they were over. And he wasn’t dating Tess was he?
That’ll teach me to ask questions.
He’d made a date with her for tonight. He wanted to back out of it, but he wanted to show his appreciation for the sweater shirt thingy she gave him.
I told him I’d talk to Liz.
I’m having dinner with the Parkers tonight.
So now I have to talk to Liz only I have no clue what to tell her.
Why is my life so fucking complicated?
Part 5
*Liz’s journal*
Do you think it’s possible to erase time? Not go back in time and fix the past as to create a new present,* but just erase time from memory. I just don’t want to ever relive it, or have to think about it again.
*I already know this doesn’t work…if only Max from the future hadn’t thought it would be a good idea to destroy my one chance at happiness. Although maybe I’m over-dramatizing. Lately I see a glimmer of hope. But more on that later…
I caught Alex and Maria making out. I had gone over to Maria’s because it had been a while since I’d spoken to her.
I talked to Sean for a bit while I was waiting for her. Apparently she hadn’t announced the fact that she was home. Anyway, he’s moving to Dallas to be with his Dad. I think it’ll be good for him. He needs a strong male figure to look up to. And he has a lot of unresolved issues about his parent’s divorce and his stepfather. It’ll be good for him to spend some time with his real father.
Anyway, I got tired of waiting and was going to leave her a note, but when I opened the door to Maria’s room I got an eyeful. Alex and her were on the bed, shirtless,* and so I quickly shut the door and walked home without leaving a note. Although I guess Sean told her I dropped by, because she did call.
*I never wanted to see either of them sans shirt again. It’s an image I could have quite frankly lived without.
Anyway, at first I was really grossed out by the whole thing.
Not because either Maria or Alex are disgusting, it just seemed weird that the two people I’d grown to think of as siblings were hooking up. But after a while I realized that they made a lot of sense together.
And that they would be really good for one another. Alex would be the type of boyfriend Maria’s always wanted and Maria won’t treat Alex like shit.
So now I’m actually feeling kind of hurt because neither of them has seen it fit to tell me what is going on between them. So now it’s me pretending I don’t know, while they pretend there is nothing to know. And all I really know is that it’s getting really confusing.
At least I can be real around Michael. Strike that. I don’t know if he knows about Alex and Maria and what if he doesn’t and then he finds out and then he’s mad at me because I didn’t tell him. I don’t think I could handle Michael being mad at me.
Things are weird enough between us.
Ever since he left behind the drawing of me. It’s been weird. I keep meaning to bring it up. But at first I didn’t because I didn’t think he wanted me to bring it up, and then I never found the right moment to bring it up and now it’s like this thing that’s festering.
I waited too long and the moment’s lost.
If that becomes a theme in my life I am seriously going to consider kicking some alien butt. Probably starting with one Max Evans.
Did I mention he was going out with Tess? Oh yeah. My plan with Future Max finally bore fruit. And I’m gagging.
I believe she bought him a black shirt sweater. As if he didn’t have enough of those already. He’s worse than Michael when it comes to wardrobe. At least Michael has some variety. Come to think of it…and it’s about damned time I realized this…Max is boring.
Michael is so much more interesting…he’s unpredictable and daring and spontaneous…and I am going on and on about Michael???
I’ll tell you why I’m obsessing about Michael…we almost kissed. You know that thing in the movies where heads are close, breaths intermingle, you’re staring at the other person’s lips just wondering what they’ll taste like, what they’ll feel like once they brush up against yours…yeah…all of that…and Dad comes down the stairs and announces dinner is ready.
Perfect timing. So things between Michael and me…not only were they weird with the whole drawing thing, now they’re weirder…and now all the added stress about Maria and Alex. Not to mention Max and Tess. Although I’m pretty sure he knows about that…it’ll be another thing we pretend the other doesn’t know. I hate that game.
Oh. Right. I haven’t mentioned this. Lately he’s been over for dinner every night. Even when he doesn’t have to close the Crashdown with me. My parents love him.
Which I think he likes but doesn’t completely understand.
And I’m not sure why that is either, my parents hated Max, but I have to say he’s made eating meals at my house so much easier.
After dinner we always spend some time alone on my balcony. And we talk about things, or we just sit and hang out doing our own thing. It’s just so nice to be able to sit with him.
I never realized how great he is just to be around, I think the bickering always overwhelmed me.
At least we’ll still be able to talk about Kyle and Isabel. Who have officially begun dating. The funny thing is that no one is surprised, except for the two of them. I mean we were all a little taken aback, but it just made sense. It’s cute to see them trying to figure it out.
Kyle and I have been hanging out a lot, we’ve been practicing our powers, and talking about what it feels like to know that an alien has altered us. His issues with the whole thing have lessened, what with living with Tess and dating Isabel, but I think he likes to talk to me because we share the same perspective.
The other day we were making fun of Max…I know it’s immature but it helps me deal…anyway I never noticed how much his shadow looks like an alien…seriously…he’s got those big old floppy ears and no shoulders, if it hadn’t been for those amazing pecs…ok not going there.
I wonder what Michael looks like sans shirt…he looks so built.
What is the matter with me?
He let me cry on his shoulder the other day. And I couldn’t get over how strong he was. Or how safe he made me feel. Like I’d finally come home after being lost for two years.
I’m going crazy.
It’s that kiss that wasn’t a kiss.
I want to scream.
What would we have done had it happened?
What would we do if it did?
Sigh. The aliens finally did it. They made a madwoman out of me.
I wonder what I should wear. Michael will be here soon.
You see.
Crazy.
Maybe I’ll just drive Michael a little crazy myself.
Part 6
*Alex’s journal*
So I’ve always been good about being a friend.
Really good.
Comforting. Generous. You know, being the no-questions-asked-I’ll-help-you-out kind of guy that I am.
So Maria broke up with Michael. This time for real. And she’s crying outside the Eraser Room and she just looks so beautiful. Her green eyes bright with the sheen of tears, her cheeks flushed with emotion and streaked with tears. I touched her skin to wipe those tears away.
And our gaze caught…all of a sudden we were in the Eraser Room, tearing each other’s clothes off.
I mean this literally.
But I didn’t want to be the rebound guy.
I feel like I’m always the rebound guy.
So I stopped things.
And then it was really weird between us. I went out of my way to avoid her. She did the same for me. Not that we really could, we still had rehearsals and school. We spent a ton of time together without speaking. It was just the eeriest thing you can imagine.
But we had our first gig. And we rocked. Everything was tight. The vocals, the sound, it’s like we finally figured out who we were and the audience totally digged it. We were so excited about everything. We partied way into the wee hours. I went to take Maria home, thinking her mom was going to be so pissed…as it was Maria still couldn’t drive the Jetta anywhere. But Amy wasn’t home. So I walked her in. no big deal.
Right.
Next thing I know she’s lying in my arms.
And we’re naked.
Neither one of us is as pure as the white snow.
Hell no. I’m no longer a virgin.
And I can’t believe I had sex with my best friend. I can’t believe it was so amazing. Mind-blowing.
Only, what I’m not clear on was that a one-time thing or are we something serious.
I really think the guys might be on to something when they call her Yoko…I’m her John.
For the first time I’m not on the shelf. At least I don’t think I am.
I think I’m in love with her.
Only I don’t know how to tell her.
I don’t know how we’ll make this work.
*Max’s journal*
Liz refuses to speak to me. I know she saw me with Tess the other day. And I want to explain.
Tess-she adores me. She makes me feel good about myself.
She believes in me.
No one else does.
I still love Liz. I really do. But I’m starting to think she really doesn’t love me.
Tess does.
So I’ve decided that maybe there is such a thing as destiny. It doesn’t seem to suck.
I’ll let Michael and Isabel make their own mistakes.
I can’t believe my sister is dating Valenti.
I know Maria dumped Michael but he didn’t seem to care. I kind of wonder if he’s got his eye on some one else. That would be typical.
I’m really going to try and make things work with Tess. She’s my wife. I owe it to her.
*Kyle’s journal*
Have you ever dated an alien? It’s awesome.
Isabel’s the world’s perfect girlfriend.
Man the things she can do…she often leaves me speechless.
*Maria’s journal*
Oh my God.
Alex and I kissed.
Well actually we did more than kiss. We made love.
And it was better than I’d ever dreamed. My best friend in the whole world was right there with me as we changed our relationship irrevocably. I love him. More than I ever thought possible. Alex has been my rock for more years than I can count. He’s been the person I’ve been able to turn to at every moment. Without him I don’t know where I’d be.
He’s given me so much.
And when we made love he made everything right. From the moment his lips touched mine that night I knew that he wouldn’t be leaving. That I couldn’t let him leave. And I had never expected to feel that way.
I’d been looking for a kind of love I didn’t really think existed. I’d been looking for perfection in all the wrong places. But now I’ve found it. And I am never letting him leave me. I know he would never leave me.
I’m in love with my best friend.
I know he loves me.
My dreams are coming true.
And for the first time in my life I’m lucky. I’ve found love. I’m doing something I love. With the man I love.
Life couldn’t possibly be more perfect.
*Isabel’s journal*
Do you know that after years of hiding myself from everyone I’m finally free?
Kyle has this way about him. He makes me laugh.
He does all these crazy guy things that piss me off and then turns around and is the sweetest most amazing boyfriend.
All of a sudden I’m in love with him. And I’m not sure how on earth that happened.
But my life is finally making sense. Buddha boy makes me happy.
I have to admit I get a total kick out of freaking him out with alien stuff. Only lately I think he’s pretending to freak out. I think he actually likes it. I’m pretty sure he actually likes me.
We have fun. Isn’t that what’s most important?
*Tess’s journal*
I think Max might finally be remembering our past. We’ve been spending a lot of time together.
We went on a date and he wore the sweater I bought him. He took me to the movies and then we walked in the park beneath the stars. I stopped and pointed the stars that might lead us home to him. And it was as if he knew exactly what I was talking about.
I think the stars have finally lined up the right way.
When Max looks at me, for the first time I think it is me he sees.
I don’t know if I’ll always be his second choice. But I do know that right now he chosen me. And that is enough.
The rest can come later.
Part 7
*Michael’s journal*
The world has turned on its fucking axis.
I should probably explain.
It all started a few days ago. When I realized something. I hated not being completely honest with Liz.
When the fuck did that happen? How?
Seriously, I hated not telling her the complete truth.
So I decided to come clean. I was telling her all I knew about Max and Tess. And about Maria and Alex for that matter. We’d spent the previous week tiptoeing around everything. Around each other. And I hated that.
Although I guess we might have been doing that for other reasons.
I knew we had to talk. It wasn’t just about the other. It was also about the almost kiss and the drawing. And even what I was feeling.
But I had no idea where to begin. Or what the hell I was supposed to do to broach the subject.
I mean I’ve never been big on baring my soul. It’s not like I ever did any of that with Maria. But with Liz it’s different. I have to tell her. It hurts when I can’t tell her things. You see how fucked up this is.
You see I’d realized that I had done the stupidest thing I could have ever possibly done. Pretty fucking brilliant of me to go and fall in love with the one girl in the universe I can’t even touch. I mean not only was she Max’s, she’s Maria’s best friend.
Right.
But I’m getting sidetracked. I’m supposed to be talking about how the world turned on its fucking axis.
I was supposed to eat dinner with the Parkers. More and more they invite me to join them, they make me feel like I belong. Even Nancy’s warmed up to me, occasionally letting me help her prepare dinner. I’ve never felt approval the way the Parker’s give it.
I think they’re pretty warped though. They hate Max and love me? What the fuck’s up with that?
So I head over to the Parkers thinking it’s dinner as usual.
I mean it was just a normal dinner.
It’s what happened before dinner. And what happened after dinner that made the evening different. A landmark night.
It started out normal enough. I got there a little early and Liz called me up to her room, to her balcony. And when I get there she looks amazing. She’s this weird mix of innocent and sexy that’s intoxicating.
I mean Max may get drunk with a sip of alcohol. Alcohol does nothing to me. Liz is all I need to get drunk. And she goes straight to my head. I can’t think straight when she’s around me. I find myself acting very unlike myself. Or maybe I’m acting very much like myself in a way I never dared to before.
Anyway, she looked fucking amazing. She was wearing my shirt.
I have no idea how she got it. But there was no doubt in my mind that Liz Parker was wearing my favorite gray t-shirt, only she’d tied it up and twisted it to fit her small frame like a second skin.
I could see where the fabric hugged her chest, rubbed against her breasts. She’d fitted it as if it was made to her measure, and I couldn’t help the fleeting thought that maybe she was saying I was made for her.
How fucking crazy is that?
The mere thought of her wearing my clothes was sending me over the edge. The way she paired my shirt with a pair of ratty old cutoffs that looked like they fit her when she was ten. And the smile that lit up her face when she saw me clamber out onto her balcony. All of that drove me crazy.
She greeted me in her whispered breathy voice, the voice she had always saved for Max. I wondered then why did she use it on me?
It couldn’t have been what I was wishing it meant. What I was hoping it meant?
I don’t even know how long we stood there. She with that beautiful entrancing smile, and me, my jaw gaping, my eyes just drinking in the sight of her like a man starved.
Then Jeff called us to dinner. I don’t remember the meal itself. Not the things we talked about. Not what we ate. I just remember sitting at the table across from Liz. And wanting to be alone with her. I wanted to devour her. And all that was running through my mind was what did it all mean, everything that had happened until then.
Dinner seemed to stretch forever, and as soon as we were done Liz and I excused ourselves. I don’t even remember what sort of excuse we used. I just know that the next thing I remember is being on Liz’s balcony and kissing her. Wildly. Madly. Like there was no tomorrow. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to be as close to Liz as I possibly could be. Touching skin to skin. She’d torn off my shirt and I’d torn off hers, her legs were wrapped around my waist as we lost control under a wave of insanity. Of passion.
I don’t know how I managed to stop. I don’t even know why I stopped.
I did make her put on the t-shirt again. Without all the form fitting tying and twisting though.
And I told her that I loved her. That I was hers.
I told her how much I wanted her.
I told her I adored her.
I told her I would never betray her. And that I had to tell her all the truths I’d been keeping from her.
Turns out she already knew about Tess and Max. And she also knew about Maria and Alex.
But she did say something that surprised me.
She loves me.
How is it that Liz Parker loves a screw-up like me?
How is it that I can be this fucking happy with my life?
And that’s how this world has turned on its fucking axis.
Part 8
*Liz’s journal*
I feel like a princess. With all the complaints Maria had you’d think that Michael is the worst person to become intimate with. Not so. He takes such care to make me feel loved. It’s like I’m his most precious treasure.
When we first kissed that night on the balcony. I felt like I was being really kissed for the first time.
I’d always thought it was amazing with Max, but I guess being great kissers is an alien thing. With Michael it goes beyond that. It’s like our very spirits fuse when our lips meet. I could kiss him forever. It was kind of funny, because Michael pretended to leave for my parent’s sake and then came back to my balcony.
He comes by every night. When we worked together at the Crashdown it’ was torture keeping apart. We hadn’t told anyone else yet. I wasn’t really worried about their reactions.
Although I was pretty sure that Max was going to take it badly. He still kept hinting at us being together again. I hadn’t found the heart to tell him we were so over. That the Liz Parker that loved Max Evans died. She did you know. When Future Max disappeared, the man I loved changed. It was as if he died. And the person I had been then, she too changed. I’m a different person now. And in Michael I’ve found everything I was ever looking for and more.
He offered to take me to prom. But I declined. I had a better offer.
Michael said he’d take me. It was so adorable how he brought it up. We were having dinner with my parents and Mom in a rare moment of coolness offered to go shopping with me for a prom dress. When I said that I wasn’t sure if I was going to prom, Michael was noticeably upset. But he didn’t say anything. Not until we were alone. Then he informed me that I’d better take my mother up on her offer, because he hadn’t rented a tux for nothing.
I was so surprised I didn’t even think to complain over his assumption.
So I went shopping with my mother and found the perfect dress. The dress that would drive Michael wild.
Mom and Dad were really happy to know that we were going together. They even offered to sponsor the pre-prom gathering here at the Crashdown.
We all had a blast. We just goofed around. We behaved like teenagers for once in our lives.
Max and Tess went together, and I thought that might bother me, but seeing them together just reinforced the indifference. It’s amazing how my feelings have changed. That someone I once loved so much can really mean so little to me, the realization is actually frightening.
The Whits performed at the dance. Maria and Alex were awesome, they’ve really worked hard at whipping the band into shape. And their songs were great. They were both in their element, doing what they loved best, with whom they loved best.
Kyle and Isabel were, of course, declared Prom King and Queen. It was perfect. They looked great together. And they’re perfect in the role of the school’s most popular couple. It was really cute that Isabel got Kyle to wear a tux that coordinated with her dress. They just completely looked the part.
And Michael and I…well we sort of came out of the closet we were hiding in at prom. We were dancing. And it was obvious that there was more between us than just friendship. (Michael danced just for me. That he would do something he dislikes so much so willingly only makes me love him more.) In any case, Michael’s form of dancing is just twining our arms around each other and swaying back and forth on the dance floor. After a while it just became the most erotic experience, it was as if we were challenging one another to see who would incite the other more.
I don’t know who won, but I couldn’t help it, I had to kiss him. So we were in the middle of the dance floor, the spotlight shining directly on us, everyone around us just gaping…
Let’s just say that when we finally noticed…when we broke apart…we were applauded in the way only high schoolers know how to show their appreciation.
Max didn’t take it at all well. I felt kind of bad for Tess. She had to chase him out of the gym. But Alex laughed at us and Maria winked and the band sang a song dedicated to us. And Kyle and Isabel were so wrapped up in their world that they didn’t even notice.
Michael gave me the perfect prom night.
We stayed up ‘til dawn. He took me out to the desert, to one of his favorite thinking spots. And we watched the sky change from night to day. And as the black changed into purple, reds, and blues of dawn, we made love.
It felt like my life was just beginning. The way I felt, I can’t even describe it. But now I am entirely Michael’s and he is entirely mine. With Michael I reached the stars. He gave me everything. He gave me his everything. And I gave him mine. It’s so hard to spend time away from him now. It’s like I know the other half of my very self is missing when he isn’t around me.
Our hearts beat together.
It’s kind of weird. But our heartbeats are in complete sync. Ever since we made love. It’s not like I know his every thought, but I know stuff. Impressions. Perceptions. Feelings. It’s odd. But because it’s Michael it feels so right.
Everything in my life is finally right.
I’ve let go of my past and the future I could have had.
But the one that lies before me is so much better.
Epilogue
*Tess’s journal*
You’d think that people would appreciate destiny. Choices are easier when they are preordained.
Max is still so unhappy. We’ve been together for six years. We have a precious baby boy, and a baby girl on the way. But he just pines for Liz.
I don’t fight it anymore. I don’t ask for more than what he gives me. I’ve found that it’s easy enough to get more from other sources. I suspect that my children aren’t really his children. I suspect that he knows this. But he loves them just the same.
Six years. it’s a long time to pine for someone. It’s a long time to be unhappy.
Max still won’t commit to me. He has never mentioned marriage in all the time we’ve been together. In every way, even in a previous life, but one I am his wife. I’ve come to accept that he will never let go of her. I will always come second to her in this life.
But I have him.
She doesn’t even want him.
In the end I’ve won. I have what I want. The point was to fulfill destiny. Not to be happy.
*Kyle’s journal*
Could my life be anymore perfect? I’ve got the best job (high school coach). The best girlfriend (Isabel Evans), who happens to have alien powers (let me tell you that getting zapped is an all-time favorite activity). I wanted to do something real special for her today…she’s finally graduating law school.
So I proposed. And she said yes.
My Ice Princess said yes.
This is the happiest man on Earth. Who happens to be marrying his favorite Martian.
*Maria’s journal*
Oh my God!! We just won a Grammy…after eight years of hard hard work finally it comes to this.
Alex and I had to go solo…The Whits were dragging us down so we became the Alien Blast…who’d of thought that naming ourselves after a fountain drink would make us cult favorites.
And now a Grammy. All our hard work finally being recognized.
I couldn’t be happier. My dreams have all come true. I have a beautiful family, a wonderful husband and a career I love. Life is good.
*Max’s journal*
I think I’ve become a father for the first time. I mean I love Kane and Abby but I don’t think they’re mine. Emma is my baby girl. The poor thing even has ears that stick out like mine.
Tess is a slut. But I’ve been a bastard to her as well. In our ridiculous sham of a life together Lord knows how many women I’ve screwed. I just want to rid my mind of the memory of one.
Liz.
Even after all these years the thought of her still makes my heart beat a little faster. How Michael got so lucky I will never understand.
So many regrets. I feel like I’ve wasted the past ten years.
But Tess and I finally figured out how to get back home to Antar.
We sifted through our past memories and connected everything together. I can’t say I remember loving her much. I think I loved her then the same I love her now.
Duty. It’s a bitch.
So I think we’re leaving tomorrow. I offered Isabel a ride but I don’t think she’ll take me up on it. It’s useless to mention this to Michael.
I just wonder if I should say goodbye to Liz. I wonder if she’ll care if I stay or go.
I don’t think I figure into her thoughts much though.
*Isabel’s journal*
I’m pregnant.
I don’t know what to tell Kyle. I don’t know if he will be repulsed by the idea of having children that will be part alien.
He loves me.
He is the perfect husband. I must say his practice of Buddhism and the culture of moderation just make him the perfect person to be with. When Max left, he offered to take me with him. But I’d found where I belonged in this life, destiny or no destiny.
Kyle is the one person I was meant to be with. He centers me. And he melts the core of ice that I store within myself.
I miss my brother often. And my nieces and nephews.
I think Kyle misses them as well, he liked having the kids over. I’m being foolish. My husband will be delirious when I tell him we’re pregnant.
He loves me.
And I love him.
*Alex’s journal*
A piece of my heart is gone forever.
My muse, the song of my heart has been silenced.
In a stupid careless way. I’ll miss her laughter, her beautiful green eyes when they were filled with tears, her panic attacks, her loyalty, her unwavering support, the way she’d hold me in her arms after we made love.
I loved Maria my whole life. I have no idea what I’ll do without her. She was my best friend. My lover. My partner. My life.
Ad all it took to part us was a stupid senseless accident. A tour bus skidding across the icy road into a ravine. I should have been with her.
But I got tied up on a conference call. So they set off ahead of me, I’d take a plane and catch up later.
At least I got to tell her how much I loved her before she left. At least we had one last kiss goodbye.
At least I’ll have a piece of her with me always, in our two girls, Marta and Margueritte.
The lights of my life. They’ll miss their mother, especially as they’re about to hit puberty. I see a lot of sleepless nights in the future. But my girls will be okay. They have the best of Maria in them. And I will do what’s best for them.
I’m retiring from the music business. I’ve got an idea for a software company. I think it is computers for me again.
I’m moving back to Roswell. I‘ll be close to Michael and Liz and their brood and Kyle and Isabel will be close by as well. Better people for my girls that the rest of the stars. People who loved Maria, who love me.
I won’t miss being a rock star. That was the life Maria loved. Not me.
Coda
Michael watched as his wife of sixty-five years lay on their bed. He knew it was time to let go.
They’d had a good life together. A brood of children, three girls: Tamara, Samantha, and Charlotte, known to all as Mara, Sam and Charlie. And twin boys: Adam and Trevor. They’d been a handful to raise, but Michael loved every minute of it. Liz had become a high school biology teacher and he had helped Jeff Parker with the Crashdown until he eventually took over.
Their children were all married, they had a gaggle of grandkids. And there was so much laughter and love that overcame the tears and the pain of life.
Lately he’d been called upon to heal his wife more and more. But he knew this time would be the last. For seventy years, his heart had been in time with Liz’s. He knew the heart attack was coming, and he knew it would kill them both. But they’d loved so much, so well through the years, they were the last ones standing.
Michael smiled as he neared the bed where Liz lay. And he took her in his arms and lay next to her.
“Baby, it’s time.” Was all he said. But she understood and let go at the same moment that he did.
Do you want to know what happens when two souls who love die together, they race the wind and dance, bound together for all time, they whisper love in the ears of the young, they whisper peace in the ears of the anguished, they help flowers bloom and birds fly. The soul is spirit and spirit is all around us. Spirit never dies.
**End**