Title: Six Months, Eight Days, Twelve Hours
Part: 1
Author: Christine
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: If I really owned the characters or anything pertaining to the show,
do you think so many people would hate Tess? The song is Brian McKnight's "6, 8,
12."
Summary: Tess left Roswell, and now she's coming back. 'Nuff said.
Category: Max
Rating: PG-13
Authors Note: Pretend that they were already Jr's at the time of Destiny. I never did
buy that they were Sophomores. Plus it would help the story make more sense. Oh
yeah, and sorry for any timing problems... I hate math. Set about a year later
after Destiny.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The passing scenery slowly turned from green to brown. She was heading back
to Roswell. Back to it all. Tess glanced at her watch, then rested her head
against the bus window. A blast of cold desert night air from the window crack
attacked her skin. She bit her lip to keep the tears from coming.
1 year, 2 months and 16 days since that day on the cliffs. The day her
destiny- THEIR destiny- had been revealed to them. The one that told them that
her and Max, and Michael and Isabel were to be together. Forever. It was karmic.
Out of this world. And supposedly beyond their control.
That's where the destiny crap had been wrong. Because he had decided to take
control and defy their destiny. He had chosen to spit in it's face and tell it
to go fuck itself. Then he left them behind and pursued his own chosen path. The
one that lead him to Liz Parker.
A single crystalline tear silently feel from here eyes as she fell into a
disturbed slumber filled with pictures from the past 6 months, 8 days, and 12
hours.
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away.
***Flashback***
6 months, 8 days, 12 hours earlier
"Max?" Tess stepped into the darkened room.
"Go away," he answered moodily. "You're not wanted here."
He was sitting on a dresser near the window staring up at the morning sky. She
crossed the room to him, placing her hand over his. He looked at it for a
second- captivated at the way her hand seemed to fit perfectly over his. Then
his features darkened and he stood up, turning his back to her
"You don't have to fight it, Max. Please. Don't fight it. Don't fight me," she
begged quietly.
"I don't want you," he whispered hoarsely. "I don't love you. I love Liz. I
have always loved her. Why can't you see that?"
She flinched. She breathed in deeply before trying again. "Why can't you see me?
Why do you turn a blind eye to your destiny?"
Ugh, she was getting sick of hearing that word: destiny. From her mouth
nonetheless. He shuddered visibly.
"Just leave me alone Tess. It's never going to happen between us. Don't you
understand?" he turned around and looked her in the eye, then quickly averted
his gaze. "Liz refuses to have me because you're always around. She believed
that hologram of my mother and having you around isn't helping my situation with
her."
"Max, just give it up! She's let you go! She's released you....You can stop
fighting it. She's given you permission. Besides, don't you want to be happy?
Look at Michael and Isabel..." her voice was desperate and ragged. She was on
the verge of tears. But not yet. She couldn't breakdown yet. It'd be
pathetic."They stopped fighting it, and they are so much happier now! You look
so tired all the time now. You know that if we were together, that if we just
gave in to what we know is right, you know that we'd be happy!"
"Tess, NO!" He yelled. "You wanna know what would make me happy? Is If you just
layed off. If you let me be with Liz. Look, Michael and Isabel... they may have
found true love in each other, but us.... Tess it's just not there. I found true
love already. I was happy with Liz. But now... God, now, I'm miserable. Can't
you see it? If you love me the way you say you do. The way you think you do,
you'll let me go. You'll let me be happy."
She stared up at him, and looked into his eyes. And in them she could see his
desparation, his depression, his fear of what he was becoming and his
responsibility, and his lust for her. She couldn't explain it, but at that
moment she could FEEL what he was feeling. It was because of this intuitive
feeling, she knew what she had to do. It was the only way. To save them both.
"I release you," she whispered almost inaudibly, defeated. She was tired and
wearing thin. She simply didn't have the strength to fight him anymore. They
would both waste away in misery if she didn't stop now. Her true love was
suffering before her very eyes. She couldn't bear to see his heartbroken face
anymore. So she gave him the one thing he asked for. His salvation.
****End Flashback****
After that, he'd thanked her. Left her crying in his room while he went out
to try and win Liz Parker back. He'd been successful. They'd gone out, hot and
heavy all over again. He at least was considerate of her feelings and did appear
to try and keep his hands off of Liz when they were in her presense, but it
didn't lessen her heartache anymore. It didn't take the sting out of the
rejection. It didn't fill that huge void in her life. The worst part of all was
that she couldn't move on. How many nights had she asked herself to just go out
and find a new man? One that she knew could make her truly happy and fill the
void? But she couldn't. Because she'd already found him, and he'd left her for
another woman. As the weeks passed, she wondered if mayber her feelings would
fade away.... but they stayed with her and seemed to grow more intense with each
passing day, each passing glance. Not to mention the lust factor. Chemistry
class was nothing compared to some of the dreams that still plagued her sleep.
One day, about 3 months later, during a moment of weakness, she'd broken down in
Isabel's arms.
***Flashback***
Her shoulders racked with sobs that her tiny frame could barely handle as Isabel
stroked her hair. Blonde hair, beige carpet, smiling Teen idol in the corner,
tears, lots of them. Her vision was blurred and those were the only things she
could make out.
"Shh, Tess, it'll be alright. I promise you. It'll all turn out okay in the
end," Isabel cooed, hugging her tightly.
v
"Izzy..... never stop lying to me," Tess's voice was muffled against Isabel's
shoulder. Blonde hair moved, burgundy sweater, necklace chain.
"Who says I'm lying? Best friends aren't supposed to lie to each other," she
laughed softly.
"Bullshit," Tess said and broke down into more sobs. More tears. Eyes shut.
"Just forget all this destiny crap. Maybe it's not meant to be for you and Max.
One day, you'll set out and find yourself a destiny without my stupid brother.
And you'll be happy. I promise," she said confidently, smoothing her hair down.
Michael entered the room soundlessly, concerned. Isabel looked up at him from
her place on the floor and mouthed one word: Max. He nodded and left the girls
alone, in search of his best friend.
***End Flashback***
The next week they'd found out about Max and Liz's engagement. It'd been
downhill from there. As if sensing that Destiny was going awry, the dreams
intensified and came more frequently even during the day. She knew these dreams
weren't one sided. She could tell by the hooded looks Max sometimes gave her in
the morning when he greeted her. He would then go in search of Liz. As if Miss
American Apple Pie could cleanse him of his dreamself's dirty deeds.
They were to be married about 3 months after Graduation. Maria and Alex were
running about making plans. They had buried the hatchet with the Pod Squad,
though things were still tense most of the times. They were always busy it
seemed to her. Of course that didn't stop them from pencilling her in for their
daily glare in her direction at the Crashdown or school. She supposed that was
just part of the price for coming too late.
The night before Graduation, with a sense of urgency, Tess tapped Max's
window. This was her last chance. She didn't know what it was, but something
primal told her go to the Evans' that night.
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe in nothing like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss.
***Flashback***
She climbed cautiosly over the windowsill into the room. He hadn't answered the
window. There was the distinct possibility he wasn't even home. That he was over
at...Liz's house.
Her eyes scanned the room. She felt her heart jump into her throat when she saw
his sleeping form on the bed tangled in the sheets. Stepping gingerly, she tip
toed to his bed and sat down at the corner. She watched his chest rise and fall,
mesmerized. Suddenly he turned, further tangling himself into the sheets. A moan
escaped from his lips.
Her ears pricked and she felt the hairs on her arms stand on end. She thought
she'd heard her name. Realizing what was going on, a sorrowful smile played on
her lips. The dreams. Those damn never ending dreams. Instantly, she felt like
a criminal. Had her presense caused his fitful sleep? He turned again onto his
back, the moon casting it's light on his face. She had to go. Get out of here
fast. She'd released him. He'd left her without looking back. She definitely
shouldn't be here. She stared as he licked his lips and his breathing quickened.
Well, just maybe. Just one kiss. Maybe that's all she needed to truly let go of
him. Just one kiss and she'd forget all about Max Evans forever and get started
on that new destiny Isabel had promised her she would have. One kiss. He owed
her that much.
She gently brushed her fingertips across his cheeks and leaned in, anticipation
coursing through her veins. Just one kiss and she was out of there. Slowly she
inched down closer, the air between them seemed electric. Pressing her lips
against his, she was surprised when she felt him respond and his tongue brush
against her mouth. Surprised, but not about to let the moment go, she parted her
lips and deepened the kiss. His eyes fluttered open and she felt him tense.
Regretfully, she stood up and fidgeted nervously.
"Tess? What are you doing here?" Max asked sitting up on his elbows. His face
the perfect expression of confusion.
"Um, I came to see if Isabel was here... but...but she's not... and," She
stuttered, stumbling over her words trying to come up with a plausible lie.
Great, she could lie straight-faced to FBI agents trained to detect any type of
nervousness, but lying to him...she was disgusted with herself. She couldn't
even finish her sentences
"Oh," he answered flatly. "You should go."
"Yeah," she responded crestfallen. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm
really sorry," she stumbled out his door, closing it behind her. Hand still on
the knob, she leaned back against the door and sank to the floor. She felt
confused. She hadn't thought it was possible, but she was in love with him even
more. The kiss.... it had felt right. For those few seconds her lips were on
his, her soul had felt at peace. The emotion she felt in those precious few
seconds could almost be called happiness. It had felt like home. Too bad his
home was with Liz. Sighing, she trudged out of the house.
Back in his room, Max let out a grunt, balling his fist against his eyes in
frustration.
***End Flashback***
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away.
2 months, 11 days, and 4 hours. That's how long it had been since she'd last
seen Max Evans. Things had been strange the next day at Graduation between them.
That's when she'd made the decision. During Liz's Valedictorian speech, to be
more exact.
Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?.
***Flasback***
After the usual hat tossing, she grabbed Isabel and Michael and pulled them to
the side.
"Let's go the the rock quarry," she whispered.
"Now?!?" Isabel said incredulously.
"Yes, now! Are you guys coming or not?" she replied back, slightly annoyed.
"What about Maxwell?" Michael asked, looking over his shoulder to see Max swing
Liz off the ground. Isabel shot him a warning look.
"He doesn't need to know right now," she said matter of factly. "You can explain
everything to him later. It'll be easier that way."
At the rock quarry, Tess told them of her plans.
"You can't go! What are you going to do if you're attacked? What will we do if
we're attacked? The Four Square is not complete without all of us?" Michael
yelled.
"The Four Square's never been complete," Tess responded coldly, the hurt evident
in her voice. "I have to go out and find my own destiny. I promise I will come
back. I think we'll all be better for this. Max and I need a break from seeing
each other, and you guys need a break from the tension between us."
"She's right Michael, she needs this more than any of us," Isabel stated.
"What about Nasedo? He's not going to be happy about this."
"I'll call him and tell him myself. He's won't be happy but he can't do anything
about it. I need a break, Michael! I won't be able to function without one!
Nasedo will understand that. We need to be able to work together efficiently and
effectively," she said pointedly. "And I can't go on, I'm running on empty. And
what are we going to do if we get attacked and I can't help?"
"But we need to stick together," he argued.
"Thanks for the update, Max," Isabel shot back sweetly. Michael stared up at the
V constellation and ran his fingers through his hair. Dropping his arms to his
side, he faced Tess, placing each hand carefully on her shoulder.
"Be careful," he said finally.
Visibly relieved, Tess threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you."
So they said their good-byes with promises of keeping in touch and dream walking
via Isabel every night. Any problem, anywhere, at anytime, she was to call them
and get herself back to Roswell. That settled, she went home and gathered her
few belongings in a bag. Checking the time and grabbing some cash, she left the
house. No need for a bus since she wasn't sure where she was going anyways. She
hiked out to the highway and stuck out a thumb. Bright lights bounced off her
hair reflectively. She was momentarily blinded by approaching headlights.
"Tess?" She blinked and looked at the passenger side. Liz looked surprised by
the big bag at Tess's feet. "What are you doing out here?"
"Yeah, what are you doing out here?" Max echoed, his voice was stressed and
angry. Liz peered down at her curiously.
"I'm headin out of Roswell. What are you going to do about it?" she challenged
him cooly, lifting her chin and pulling her shoulders back slightly.
"You're le-" Max's tone was furious, but his eyes betrayed him. Hurt and
betrayal fleeted across his features.
"It's a rhetorical question," she cut him off. "My turn now. What are you doing
out here?" she asked, careful to keep her tone uninterested.
"We're...um... we're eloping," Liz blushed then looked down at her fingers,
fiddling with her ring.
"Oh," Tess paused looking at Max. "That's nice." With that, she picked up her
bag and walked farther down the road.
"Wait.... Wait!" Max shouted, seething. He jumped out of the jeep. "What do you
mean your leaving Roswell? You can't leave! What about the Four Square? We need
to stick together!" he yelled, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her roughly.
"First of all," she said backing away violently to get his hands off her,"
'leaving Roswell' sounds like exactly like what it means. Secondly," she stepped
in dangerously close enough to smell his aftershave,"last time I checked, there
was no Four Square," she said, her voice dripping with its inclination to Liz
who looked like she was about to cry,"And sticking together? Can we say overused
statement of the year? Whatever. I'm outta here." She stalked off quickly,
trying to put as much distance between him and her fast.
"Tess!" he yelled, his voice tinged with anger. She turned around, her bag
swinging about her and hitting her leg. She glared at him defiantly. " Fine.
Leave! Good-bye." The unspoken words left hanging in the air.
"I don't wanna hear it Max!" she screamed. Her eyes filled with unshed tears.
"Just remember, you left me first!"
She turned around again and continued walking down the road sticking out her
thumb. She heard a car door slam shut and felt the wind as the jeep zoomed by
her.
***End Flashback***
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away.
Six months, eight days, and twelve God damn hours. That's how long it had
been since Max Evans had truly left her behind. She leaned back in her seat
frustrated. She'd just had a dream that didn't have to do with her and Max doing
the nasty (which were rare yet occasional) but yet it was still about him. Like
always. Now she was heading back to it all. Nasedo had dream walked on her
ordering her to go back. He was seething mad that she had roamed so far from the
others, unattended for so long. But that was to be expected. Oh well, she missed
seeing Michael and Isabel all the time. And despite herself, she missed Max.
Well, she knew she was going to miss Max. She just didn't want to miss him. She
did't want to think about him. So grudgingly, she bought a bus ticket for
Roswell, New Mexico. She'd been hoping to reflect on the last two months while
on the bus. Psych herself up. She was stronger for her trip, she just hoped she
was strong enough to face the couple.
She looked out at the sunset, thinking about him. How his eyes sometimes
softened when he saw her. Then he would catch himself and his features would
harden. She thought about her sleepovers in Isabel's room and how in the middle
of the night, she would see him in the doorway gazing at her, studying her. He
would deny it in the morning, telling her she was trying to cause trouble again.
She remembered how he used to talk to her softly with soulful eyes, but then
upon realizing their close proximity would shut up like a clam and act rudely.
How he'd pause close to her for a whiff of her perfume when he thought she
wasn't paying attention then go off to talk to Liz or the other humans. How she
missed those torturous days. Isabel had promised her that she would find her own
destiny without Max. No luck yet.
She recalled some of her phonecalls with Michael and Isabel. Michael was
taking night classes while Isabel was primed to start at a college near Roswell.
She smiled slightly at some of their conversations during dream walks. Isabel
was truly happy. Tess wanted to hate her for it, for being so happy when she was
so miserable, but she couldn't. Isabel was her best friend. She was like her
sister. She was her sister, in a different life and time anyways. Besides, she'd
appeased her craving for knowing every gruesome detail about Max. Occasionally,
he'd answer the phone when she called causing her to promptly hang up. She
hadn't been ready to deal with him yet. She had no doubt in her mind that he
knew it was her calling. During her daily conversations with Michael and Isabel,
there were more often than not long pauses and hushed conversation in the
background, which meant Max had walked in. Afterward, their side of the
conversation would freeze up and their dialogue censored. She could only assume
that meant he had stayed and was checking up on her. In her and Isabel's first
dream-talk (which was embarassingly set in a candle lit room with a shirtless
Max looking for her. Isabel had been thoroughly grossed out but understanding),
she found out that he hadn't eloped with Liz that night. Apparently, their
encounter with her had put a damper on the mood.
So now here she was arriving back just in time to see all the final touches
done for the wedding. Oh joy of joys. But maybe, just maybe, she'd finally get
that closure she craved for all this time.
It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why.
The End