Summer postcard
CLARK'S HARBOUR, NOVA SCOTIA -- Greetings from beyond The Bay of Fundy, off New Brunswick, better than Bangor, just down the way from Peggy's Cove, near Lunenburg, where real men eat live cod, eh? I am here with Melville Bell Grosvenor, editor-in-chief of the National Geographic Society and a fellow member of the Libran Male Fingernail Chewer's Society, one of my favorite charities. Mel and I are appearing later tonight at the Isabell P. Godbout Amphitheatre as part of a touring musical presentation featuring the works of Karen and Richard Carpenter. So far our Canadian audiences have been wonderful. Last night, for example, one bloke cheered when I discovered my fly was down during a performance of "Muskrat Love." And the entire orchestra achieved essential nirvana the night the prime minister himself attended one of our matinees, only to suffer a aneurysm in the parking lot, eh? We still feel we're improving our various interpretations. I know there isn't anyone who can sing like Karen did. I just think in emulating her we can demonstrate our respect and advance the basis of their art, now that Richard's out of show business and into the family firm, Carpenter Aunts.
Getting into Canada wasn't easy. I had to swim here from Eastport, Maine. I tried to take the ferry but they found out I was from Detroit and figured I might steal the rudder so they agreed to haul my car and my dog and my things but I had to swim and I didn't exactly appreciate that although it really wasn't that big of a deal, as I basically walked here from Digby, even though they did drop my Yugo in Hawkesbury, near Arichat above The Strait of Canso. The Canadians we have met so far seem hospitable and interested in our art. This afternoon, for example, one woman with several wee little children stopped our entourage and asked for a donation of several thousand dollars, Canadian, eh? We were impressed by her pluck. I asked her to name three of the original four Beatles. She struggled so we reduced that to two and eventually she mentioned either George or Ringo, convincing me she deserved not only the money but also this recognition of my website. Her name was Hillary Clinton and she revealed a ruddiness most endearing.
People ask me about The Detroit Pistons, the basketball team that recently won the National Basketball Association title. I tell them a fellow by the name of Rasheed Wallace was largely responsible for their success, along with his distant cousin, Ben Wallace and a Prince of a guy and Rip and Chauncy and Darko and I could go and on so I will, and Lindsay Hunter and the other players and I remind everyone the team concept always beats two superstars, even Richard and Karen now that I think about it, and that good coaching always beats lousy supervision and that solid defense trumps salacious offense and that remains all I can share given the time zone difference.
