Welcome to Troutstream.com, where fish-worthy friends encounter literary midgets, where mirth meets girth and tiny, elf-like men in orange jump-suits focus on your every move, hoping against hope's sake you will drop your guard, leave your Visa account #'s and vacate all of all your senses, in the event you had any to begin with.

This web site has been through more transformation than all of feudal Uzbekistan. The current configuration was created by Dave Lieben of First City Computer Services in Ketchikan, Alaska. Wearing warm mittens and thick mutton-chops, Lieben left Leningrad gaping with artful gesticulating, featuring more than one direct slap at the author, knowing the author could not do more than one thing about it.

In the following sentence, the author seeks revenge, gains it and goes on to lesser things. DAVE RIDES BICYCLES! There you go, Dave. I nailed you and you can't do anything about it.

Dave and I have a lot of fun with www.troutstream.com. What else are we supposed to do? Take any two guys named Dave, turn them loose with new technology and what you get is controlled mayhem, without the controlled part. Dave is crazier than 14 Third Grade classes on a field trip and Dave, your writer, was certified insane by sources who asked that their names be omitted, including the entire copy desk staff of The Oakland Press newspaper, circa-1979.

Enjoy the site. If you seek information on fishing sites, keep searching. There isn't anything fishy about this site, fortunately. We prefer tofu, "we" being pretty much myself and my wife, of course.

Mr. Pomeroy's wardrobe is by McNab's Hardware.

Hair designs by none of the above.

Mr. Pomeroy is a regurgitate of generic proportions. He has a master's degree in orange juice.

Legal representation is provided by Sonny and Cher's former fan club -- Pro Bono.

Mr. Pomeroy owes his sense of humor to Jonathan Winters.

Donations can be sent to the Shelve The Wailing Fund at www.getoverit.orgie.

Those seeking serious Internet content are advised to hit your computer's "Back" key until you eventually return to www.sex.com.