Camp between Newton and Winchester, Va.
Monday, November 14th, 1864
Dear Tilli,
Your kind letter of the 9th of November reached me just now. I wrote to you 8 days ago in answer of your letter of the 28th of October and I wrote again yesterday. I thank you very much for this letter, but do not fret about me. I have not been wounded nor have I been sick lately. I am getting used to the cold. I am sorry your friends are teasing you about me, but do not mind them. You wish it would get so cold that I could not stand it. But I do not wish it because if that should happen, our soldiers would get sick and I could not get away at all. Of course I wish you select a room for me somewhere near you own and let me know the number I must ask for at the office. On the 16th day of December, I shall send in my application for a leave of absence, On the 18th I shall have an answer. On the evening of the same day, I shall leave here and reach New York perhaps on the evening of the 23rd. But circumstances may turn up to prevent me. There must be no fighting, the troops must be in winterquarters and the other Assistant Surgeon must have returned to the Regiment to take charge during my absence. To throw up my commission now and leave the service is impossible. We are short of surgeons here and I know they would not let me go. Perhaps I shall have a better chance this winter, or next Spring. I assure you I am very tired of it, but want to leave the army honorably. The easiest way to get a leave of absence is get wounded, in that case they offer it themselves for thirty days but it would be wrong for me to wish it. When I come to see you, I want to be well and not a grumbling, fretful invalid. The weather here has moderated a little. We had some frost last night, but today the sun shines and if it was not for the disagreeable cold wind blowing here without cessation it would be pleasant. The Sixth Corps. in our rear, is throwing up heavy entrenchments and it looks as if they are going to stay here sometime. We have also some entrenchments and prepared in the front but lighter and I think we soon fall back to Winchester. Our Regiment on account of several recruits received lately, is very large now and my work has increased considerable. The unacclimated men coming direct from their comfortable homes and not used to the sort of living they hope her, suffer considerable and my sick report in the morning is rather large. The most of these men come from New York State and will make good soldiers after awhile. I am sorry that I have been able to write to you, about more interesting matters, I fear, you will find my letters dull and stupid, but in a camp like this one nothing of interest for a young lady takes place. What is the reason you did not visit the Masquerade and other party you been invited to. You are to enjoy life, as long as you are young.
Youth passes away and if happy spent, it leaves pleasant reminiscences for the old age. I like to hear that you enjoy yourself, do not believe in dreams, nor indulge in sad reflections. The former are often the consequence of the latter and amount to nothing.
I would have been very sorry if my old room No. 112 had been destroyed by fire, and I am sorry to hear that you have been frightened by the alarm of fire, but glad to learn that it merely resulted in an old chimney being on fire. I wonder who lives now in No. 112. I would be jealous of him or her, even if it was an old women, if you still occupied that storeroom. But you do not tell me anything about Tommy, is he still singing so pretty? Will you kiss him for me after receipt of this letter. How is your housekeeper? Is she well? Give my regards to her and mention that I hope to see her at Christmas or New Year and how is Anne the good soul, I hope she is still with you? Tell her if she is there that I have inquired after her. Do not believe that I do not like you to express wishes. I assure you I would be only to happy to fulfill everyone of them and if I do not obey the last one (to come home for a month or to throw up my commission). I assure you it is only by compulsion that I do not do so. l wish I could come at once, every letter that comes to me from you makes the wish more ardent. You asked me if you could not send me something. Yes, I tell you if you could send yourself, nicely wrapped in furs and well stuffed with cotton. I would like to receive the package very much, and promise to take good care of it.
I suppose when I return we will have to tell each other a great deal. You may already prepare yourself to answer an innumerable number of questions. But please do answer the following in your next letter. Do you show my letters to any of your friends? Nobody has seen yours.
There is no expectation of a battle now. It seems that the enemy has entirely withdrawn from this vicinity. You wonder how it is that I do not receive your letters as quick you do mine. I tell you. I always know a few hours before, when the mail leaves here and mail my letters the right time, but your letters no doubt have to lay over in Winchester or Martinsburg before a train leaves for the army, which causes the delay. I hope however that hereafter our correspondence will be quicker. As every mile we make now, brings me nearer to you. I hope that when we once go to winterquarters, we will have a direct mail without delays with the North.
I am very glad to hear from you of the good opinion your Father has about me and hope soon to receive a satisfactory letter from him.
Are you still kept very busy in your domestic duties? You must take care of yourself and not catch cold this winter going to the laundry or in the pantry through those cold halls.
What is going on at Barnums now? I have a sort of interest in that place as I met you there first. Is Forrest still playing at Nibolos. I must confess I did not like him very much. I think he over does the play.
Please answer soon. Take good care of yourself, laugh often so that you do not forget it altogether, before I come back as I love to see you laugh, keep up your spirits and be cheerful.
Remember me and believe that I often kiss your picture but would like to kiss the original still oftener.
Truly Yours
Arnold Stub