continued...

...I'm not condoning your boyfriend's behavior, just saying he's entitled to some privacy. What should you do about his phone-sex habit? You have three options: (1) Ignore it, continue loving him, and pray his desire for aural gratification passes. Or (2) confront him again, but don't go into detail about your surveillance techniques. (If he asks, say a credit-card bill was inadvertently left on the kitchen table.) When you request an explanation , try to be loving and sympathetic, not disapproving or angry. Then, you might want to... (3) satisfy his craving by adding sexy phone calls to your own erotic repertoire. And you'll talk dirty to him for free!

Q. Can you transmit a cold or strep throat through oral sex? How about a yeast infection?
A. Kissing mouth-to-mouth is probably the the ideal way to spread a cold or sore throat to your partner, and kissing his genitals is probably almost as effective. Yeats infections, however, are another matter. Cunnilingus is simply not a likely coduit for them. While yeast can cause an infection of the mouth called thrush, it's unlikely to develop from sexual contact in people whose immune system is not compromised.

Q. My husband and I are planning to start a family. Should I be taking extra vitamins before I get pregnant?
A. Yes. And growing evidence points to the B vitamin, folic acid (aka folate), as the most important to take prior to conception. Several studies have shown that four hundred micrograms daily reduces, by 50 to 70 percent, a woman's chances of having a baby with spina bifida or anencephaly, both serios abnormalities of the nervous system. Even though folic acid is found in green leafy vegetables, enriched cereals, legumes, and peanuts, most women of childbearing age consume well below the recommended level, so it would be wise to begin a folate supplement now and continue it through the first trimester of pregnancy.

Q. Is there anything I can give my husband to increase his sex drive? Are there any aphrodisiacs that really work?
A. Despite centuries of searching, no vitamin or mineral or food has been proved to increase sexual drive in men and women. Most food or substances with a reputation for enhancing the libido- including oysters, ginseng root, pwdered rhinoceros horn, animal testicles, turtle eegs, and Spanish fly (a preparation of powdered beetles that irritates the bladder and uretha)- are nothing more than placebos. And

while alcohol, which is widely regarded as stimulating eotic desire, does lower inhibitions, it actually suppresses both male and female sexual function. Still, because sexual desire has a lot to do with state of miond, if someone believes a particular food will serve as an aphrodisiac, it just might for that person.

Q. You said that women do actually go out to get laid. How do I know which ones they are?
A. You don't. Not until the end of the night, that is. Most women flirt like demons whether or not they're looking to take a guy home, so that's no indication. What can give a horny gal away is how late she sticks around at a bar or party. There's that point when the place starts clearing out and most women who aren't looking for action will head home. But the randier ones will be reluctant to leave if there's someone there they'd like to hook up with. So if the clock strikes 2 a.m. the crowd is thinning, and the girl you've been swapping innuendo with all night is getting more smiley and touchy-feely by the minute, you're golden.