part six
1. Hsu Tsai-Seu 'on love'
2. George Noel Gordon 'She walks in beauty'
3. Robert Herrick 'To Althea Who May Command Him Anything'

*****
Part 5:

There had been fear in Xander's eyes, a brief moment of panic when Spike had lain him down on the bed. Not, 'Oh God, vampire' but a sadder, more desperate, 'please don't laugh at me' expression that flittered across his face. But so like him, Xander had made a weak joke, taking a shot at himself to break the tension, and had manfully asked for guidance. Again he put Spike to shame, this mortal boy who was willing to risk so much to express his feelings, to show his needs. The boy, young man rather, was a gentle and affectionate lover. Spike sent a brief thought of thanks to that horny demon bint that the boy wasn't virgin tight; otherwise they could have never managed this without the damned chip going off. *Talk about a bloody mood killer.* Regardless of Anya and her bag of tricks Spike was willing bet he was the first vampire as well as the first male anything that the boy had had in his bed. The utter intensity of Xander's undivided attention had almost been too much. Spike didn't want to frighten the boy and was certain that slipping into game face right now would horrify him. Bedding a human that he had no intention of eating, in a nonsexual way, was a new experience for him. The smell alone of the blood rushing through the boy's body and rising to his skin in a sensual flush was intoxicating. Adding to the fact that Spike was still riding high from the simple sure words of acceptance Xander had gifted him with earlier on the couch and it was all that Spike could do not to howl with pleasure. Spike was aware he was emitting a low thrum of contentment and hoped Xander wouldn't find it too animalistic. On one hand he didn't want to disgust the boy for fear he would change his mind and on the other, if either of them were going to stop this, it had better be soon.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, more a purr than a question.

"I think...I think I need this." Xander breathed out against Spike's bare skin, sending waves of pleasure coursing along in its wake. His brown eyes were hot and seemed to take up his entire face. Tentatively he reached up and stroked his blood-warm fingers softly along Spike's face. Spike lost his battle for control and his demon visage rippled forth. He looked away from Xander's frank stare but the boy gently turned Spike's head back toward him and pulled himself up onto his elbow then placed light kisses along the ridges and continued down the bridge of Spike's nose. The smile Xander shared with him when he lay back looking up at Spike was not one of pity, nor was it a brave front. Xander had not had to overcome fear or disgust; his face shyly conveyed wonder and trust. Spike gave in and stopped fighting the full body purr he had been trying to suppress. He positioned himself between Xander's legs and playfully poured the cool oil onto the boy's stomach. Xander's laugh wasn't all nervousness as Spike spread the quickly heating liquid thoroughly over his genitals and further back to his anus. When his slick fingers breached Xander's body relief flooded Spike when he felt Xander relax into the movement. He had expected a jolt from the chip, but before long Xander was whimpering and begging Spike to hurry. It was so much more than he had dared to hope for. For a moment before he mounted the hot, horny, bucking, body Spike spared a moment to worry if the boy's reaction in the morning would destroy all that they had built between them since the Slayer had died. But it's almost impossible for a demon to brood under the best of circumstances and soon Spike was distracted by the delicious feeling of blood-warm flesh surrounding his erection. *Oh thou, my lovely boy,.....Sweet beauty hath no name, no holy hour. [1 & 2]*

Warmth indeed surrounded him. He fell into those beautiful dark eyes. As he did with everything Xander threw his whole being into their coupling. Spike marveled at his responsiveness and strength of will. Xander's unflinching eyes seemed to drink in every aspect, gauge every flash of emotion that crossed his lover's face with perception and passion. *Too long. It's been too long!* Had he ever felt this connected with a lover? Dru lived in her own world and Harmony was her own world. There had been mutual pleasure but it had been parasitic on both sides, if that was possible. This, this was symbiotic. *How strange it is only such gentleness begets the fury of joy and all its tenderness.[3]* Here now with Xander, all the emptiness, all the terrible loneliness fell away. He belonged. He was seen and accepted. Nothing felt so much like home; had he a soul he would have traded it on the spot for this feeling, this connection. Somewhere deep inside he felt the warmth which surrounded him melt some cold core and give rise to feelings he had only held in dim memories. Life -- this was life. He almost believed his dead heart beat in response to the pulse of the blood, which embraced him. Too soon he felt his lover's muscles ripple and contract around his rhythmic thrusts. Watching, rapt with awe, as the orgasm brought a flushed, almost pained grimace to Xander's face, Spike sighed needlessly and spilled his seed deep inside. Xander pulled him tight against his sticky body. Spike stayed embedded a moment in the warm slick flesh, petting the boy's flushed skin, brushing back sweat-soaked hair off his handsome face. Slowly he disengaged their bodies while kissing away Xander's quiet whimper of protest. He wiped them both down, thankful he had thought to bring a wet cloth along with the towels, as he was reluctant to part with the boy even briefly. Greedy to capture every moment he had with the boy Spike wrapped himself around his lover's warmth, sure that with the daybreak regrets would come. He knew he wouldn't be able to blame the boy. Xander had offered him every thing he had ever wanted and Spike, as always, had insisted on taking more. The first vulnerability that the boy had revealed and Spike had used it to stave off his own empty, aching need. In the bars of Sunnydale, there were a thousand faceless bodies he could have buried himself in, any one of whom he could have had for a wink and a smile. This boy, this man was the only one who offered him succor, offered him his family and his trust. *This man will stand your friend with the whole world round agin you.[4]* Spike listened to the steady beat of the boy's heart. He anticipated panic and regrets when Xander woke. He resisted the urge to stroke the firm torso and contented himself to watch the boy sleep. * There'll be babbling, and he won't be able to look me in the eye for days, if ever.* Spike had intended to drink in every minute until his lover woke, but the rise and fall of Xander's chest and the delicate movement of his eyes beneath their lids was unexpectedly calming. Spike was lulled into a light doze, feeling both sated and apprehensive.

~~~~~~

Later, Spike woke alone and noticed light spilling across the bottom of the bed. He heard muffled noise from the next room and considered rising to deal with the inevitable regrets, but decided to follow the advice he had given Dawn and wait to see how Xander wanted to handle this. Briefly the boy's tall frame blocked the light and Spike shut his eyes, feigning sleep. Curiosity overcame him when instead of coming back to bed Xander made rustling noises at the far end of the room. He opened his eyes and saw that the boy had secured a thick tarp across the room's only window. Spike watched as Xander carefully examined the border to make sure that the morning's sunlight would not pass. *If he had regrets, he could have simply waited for morning.* Gambling that Xander's reaction would be more favorable than he had anticipated, Spike slipped from the bed and crossed to the window. He took a moment to admire that lovely backside before sliding his arms around the boy's waist and marveling once again at the warmth of his body. Spike was delighted at finding his arms full of a confident, teasing young man. This was no blushing virgin, no stammering boy; this was an equal, a man. Xander was well aware of who he was and whom he had in his bed. As the thickening of his scent told him, Xander also knew what he wanted. Spike was overjoyed that for now, apparently, Xander wanted him. It was Xander who maneuvered them back to bed and Xander who started the slow tandem thrusting as their cocks brushed together. After a second climax and clean up, Spike was wrapped in the strong arms of his young lover and lulled back to sleep by Xander's steady breathing.

~~~~~~

Sunlight brightened the outer room but only dimly reflected into the bedroom when Spike next woke. Xander slept on his back, with one arm across his eyes and the other loosely around Spike. Spike's head rested on Xander's chest and he faced toward the boy's exposed throat. Watching the subtle pulse under Xander's chin, which matched the beat under his ear, Spike was unaware that he spoke the words in his head out loud until Xander murmured, "That's pretty. Is it Spanish?"

"Sort of." Spike replied as he watched the boy stretch. Xander looked at him and a slow smile spread across his face.

"You're a closet brain, aren't you?"

Spike snorted and lifted himself off the boy. Hovering close, he moved up to claim a kiss. "Didn't think you were awake."

Xander tentatively caressed the angular line of Spike's face, speaking softly as if Spike might pull away if his voice were more than a whisper. "What'd it mean?"

He couldn't resist and said, "When, with you asleep, I plunge into your soul, and listen with my ear on your naked breast to your tranquil heart, it seems to me that, in its deep throbbing, I surprise the secret center of the world.[5]"

Xander silently watched him a moment, blinking and then ventured, "You're so busted. You went to college didn't you?"

"Wasn't quite the same back then, but you might say I had literary ambitions." Spike said, not meeting Xander's eyes.

"You wrote stuff? Stories?" Interest peaked, Xander rose up on to his elbows.

"Poetry." Spike said, unsuccessfully suppressing a shudder.

Xander sat the whole way up and radiated excitement, "Lay some on me, Wordman."

"No. It wasn't just bad, it was horrendous. I know enough about what is good to know that everything I produced was beneath mediocre."

Xander pulled Spike into his arms, almost into his lap, and murmured in his ear, "Fortunately for you, I'm an idiot and won't realize that."

"Don't do that." Spike snapped and Xander with a noise of inquiry, released him immediately. Spike grabbed both arms before Xander could completely pull away and wrapped them firmly back where they had been. "Don't put yourself down, idiot: not don't touch me." Spike briefly considered what he had just said and added softly, "Xander, you're not an idiot."

Xander didn't respond verbally but Spike felt him smile against the back of his neck and his arms tightened their hold. They sat quietly for a while, Xander's fingers dancing across Spike's cool skin. Eventually it was Xander who asked, "Not having regrets?"

"No, pet, thought you might." Spike kept very still, straining for some sense of the boy's true feelings.

"I'm good." Xander sighed deeply and closed his eyes, his lashes sweeping softly against the skin of Spikes shoulder.

"You are." Spike said, but his leer was half-hearted. He felt as if this whole thing could come tumbling down if he made the wrong move - said the wrong word. Xander lifted his head to look at Spike, searching his face as if asking how Spike wanted to handle this. Spike stroked the side of Xander's face. He was pleased to note the boy needed to shave, it at least gave the illusion he was old enough to know what he was getting into. " Sweet boy," he murmured. "Bedding a vampire, do you have any idea.....?" Spike shook his head. He knew the answer. If he didn't know what would come of this Xander couldn't possibly.

Xander placed his hand over the one Spike rested on the side of his face and said, "You need me. I need you. This was good, huh?"

Speechless, Spike nodded. "Can't we just try it? See what happens? Xander's fingers tightened on his and the boy swallowed hard.

"I'm evil." Spike said softly, more to himself than to Xander.

"Is the chip the only thing keeping you from killing me?" Xander's look wouldn't let Spike break eye contact. The look he leveled said that there was no way Spike could prevaricate.

Spike shook his head. "I like you. You taste like sunlight. I smell the blood in your body, but you don't feel like food. We've hunted together. There's a bond. You almost feel like another vampire, `cept I trust you."

"I trust you, too. I like you. Might just fall in love with you, if that'd be okay?" Xander watched him so intently that Spike was forcefully reminded of the night before.

"So... How do we handle this?" Spike thought it would have to be Xander's call; he was willing to take what he could get, if the boy was willing to continue this, no matter how temporary, it was more than he had expected.

"I don't have a clue." Xander's smiled and gave a self-deprecating shrug. "Can't we make it up as we go?"

"The others won't like it; think I'm having my wicked way with you, they will." Spike ventured his most prevalent doubt now that Xander seemed willing to try this, whatever this was.

"You are. And I'm having my wicked way with you, that's the fun part." Xander's laugh bubbled up and bathed Spike in joyous relief. This conversation had apparently been as stressful on the boy as it had been on him. More than anything, he wanted to bury himself in Xander's warmth again but he had to clear up one more thing.

"Dawn..."

He got no further before Xander clamped a hot hand across his mouth and firmly stated, "Rule one: we will never, ever, mention Dawn when we're naked."

*****
Part 6:

A week later, Spike leaned back against the smooth-tiled wall and felt a purr of pleasure start at the base of his spine and move up and through his body to emerge from his panting mouth. Warmth surrounded and embraced him, made him feel alive with its welcome sensation. The water cascading from the showerhead pulsed forward, hitting him square in the chest with a vigorous rhythmic massage. The air of the small bathroom was thick with steam, wafting about as it rose from water heated well above human body temperature and condensed on his cooler skin. Xander knelt in front of him, wrapping Spike's cock in the moist heat of his mouth. Occasionally he paused to breathe out along the rigid shaft. Looking down at the dark tendrils of hair plastered forward across Xander's face by the force of the water, Spike was hit by a deep need to freeze this moment. He desperately wanted to hold onto this feeling, this man. But perfection never lasted. That was the one hard lesson of his unlife. No one stayed on top for long; something, something would fuck this up. Spike fought the desire to thrust his hips and pump into the warm, wet throat of his lover. He tried to hold off his orgasm, always fearing that this one would be the last. Fearing that the boy would walk away from whatever spell had made him seek a demon lover. *Not even the first there.* Spike had been relieved that first night they were together that Xander hadn't been a virgin. Xander had confessed very little, blushing beautifully when Spike asked about the wealth of experience that the young man was endowed with by months of experimentation with Anya. *Although apparently the bint got custody of the toys.* Spike knew that there had been toys by the delicious flush which stole down the boy's body when he mentioned a few items which nice young men would not know to equate with sex. *Bad idea that. Thinking of the boy's flushed body and sex toys when you're trying not to come. You know that, right?* Spike felt his third orgasm of the night rush through his body, bringing forth fangs and ridges as his beautiful boy milked his softening cock. Xander stood slowly, his body brushing up against Spike's from knee to shoulder. Spike felt the boy's erection brush his hip. His lips barely touched against Spike's before he started to pull back. Spike grabbed Xander's hair, stopping him, and plundered his mouth, tasting his own flavor and stealing his breath. Xander laughed and playfully nipped at Spike's lips.

"Think the Watchers are gone for good?" Spike asked more to play with the boy than out of real concern.

"You so had better not be thinking about the Watchers when I'm going down on you." Xander seemed to have trouble suppressing his grin as he attempted to scowl.

"Xander?" Spike purred. "You know its only you, she meant nothing..." he broke off with a wicked chuckle at the real emotion that gleamed in his lover's eyes.

"You better not be talking about that tweed-clad head of the William the Bloody fan club, you... you undead Lothario."

Spike pulled that warm body closer and whispered in his ear. "Getting a bit possessive, love?"

Xander placed both hands on Spike's chest and pushed back enough to look him in the eyes. The boy nervously chewed on his lower lip and said. "Who said I can't be the possessive one once in a while? Unless...you... we never..." He looked down as if to avoid Spike's gaze. Spike regretted the teasing. He didn't want Xander to think about what was between them - whatever it was - too hard. If the boy examined it he would realize what a bad idea it was, and Spike would be left knowing just how much he was missing. Those deep brown eyes lifted. Drops of water clung to the long lashes and looked almost like tears. Spike brushed a thick, wet lock of hair off Xander's face and tried to sooth the boy, who suddenly looked so lost. "Are y..you..." he started again and Spike almost cursed out loud at the stutter, which rarely showed in Xander's voice. Xander reached up and caressed Spike's jaw line. "This is good, huh?" He whispered.

"Oh pet, this is wondrous." Spike was afraid to speak too loudly for fear of shattering the fragile confidence that seemed to surround the boy. They had been lovers for such a short time and Spike still anticipated a torrent of emotions and then the boy would bolt.

"I need this. I need you. I want to hold on.... tight...for as long as possible...okay?" Xander's voice remained steady and calm. Once again Spike was amazed by the boy's strength and courage. From the beginning he had taken all the risks, starting that first night when he had first kissed Spike and then asked him not to go. What had that cost him? The boy had to have feared rejection, but had dared Spike's scorn and sarcasm. Time and again Xander had taken the first step, then and now. What was he offering? Not permanence, but.? Wasn't it time Spike risked something? Gave the boy some chance to reject rather than be rejected?

Spike spun around, reversing their positions. Using both hands he pressed Xander's shoulders back against the wall and slowly dragged his teeth against his neck and down his collarbone. "Do you have any idea how much I want? How much I want you? What I want?" Spike morphed into his game face and spragged his fangs along the boy's trapezius muscle.

"Tell me." Xander gasped, clutching at Spike's hips.

Spike answered with a deep purr and managed to rasp out, "Pet, oh sweet boy, I want..." He stopped and buried his face against the boy's wet neck, his scent faint beneath the vanilla shower gel. "If not for this damned chip." His purr transformed into a growl, but he held the boy gently, rubbing against his hard, naked form. *I've been loveless all my life, but now that love is mine it drives me mad [1]*

"W..would you feed? Off of me, I mean?" Xander's voice sounded concerned but he wrapped strong arms around the rumbling vampire.

Spike shifted back to his human face and looked into Xander's startled eyes. "No." He laughed at Xander's look of surprise and nuzzled over his jugular. "Here is where you feed; fast, hot blood pumps out like new wine." He nibbled his way down the thick muscles above the boy's collarbone. "Here's where you mark, deep in the flesh, a scar to warn off all the pug nasties that this here," and he raised his head until their lips were but a whisper apart, "is mine!" He growled out the last part, and plundered the boy's mouth. Spike morphed into the kiss. Cutting both their tongues on his fangs, he endured a blast from the chip as he blended their blood.

When the kiss gentled, due to the boy's need to breath. Xander's eyes were laughing when he asked, "I'm yours?"

"Does that bother you?" Spike hadn't intended to say as much as he had. He didn't want to scare the boy or ruin what they had. Once he had said it, he thought he would brush it off with his usual bravado, but suddenly what Xander thought about this was very important. Important that Xander realize that this.thing, whatever it was, wasn't the same as if they were two humans.

"I think what bothers me is that I think I should be bothered or afraid, and I'm not." Xander blushed and looked sheepish. He whispered, "Spike, no one ever... It's just nice that you want me."

"Xan." It was Spike's voice that broke at the sound of past pain in his lover's tone.

"No. You're here, that's what matters. I'm yours." He blushed again and looked down, then glanced shyly up through his lashes and ventured, "You're mine too, you know?"

Spike answer was a deep, full-bodied purr as he began to rub against his still aroused lover. *And on that cheek, and o'er that brow so soft, so calm, yet eloquent, the smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of days in goodness spent A mind at peace with all below a heart whose love is innocent [2]

******

Later, morning light glowed behind the thick tarp that covered the bedroom window. Xander had installed decorative shutters in the public rooms, but had yet to choose a more permanent cover for the bedroom. Spike scowled at the light, and was tempted to grumble at the early hour. He was getting used to waking up early with Xander. Usually Xander rose before Spike had slipped into the deep, death-like slumber he spent at least four hours in every day. If it got him a kiss or a blowjob he wasn't opposed to greeting his freshly showered lover with a hot cup of coffee. But this was Saturday and they had hunted into the wee hours before coming back to clean up, so he was less than pleased to be wide awake. Xander's deep breaths brushed warmly across Spike's face. He took a moment to examine his lover's appearance. Even lacking his happy smile, looking at Xander made Spike think of sunlight, and all the warm forbidden things he had lost when he was turned. It wasn't just his smooth, tanned skin; his smell, the very taste of his sweat and come was bright and vibrated with life. Spike longed to taste his blood, but couldn't bear the thought of polluting such an intimate act with a blade. A mate should be claimed, and the scar should be his, not that of a tool. Granted, it would have to wait until he found a way to bugger the chip, but some day that sweet flesh would be his.

They had come across two fledges when hunting earlier; so new you could smell the shit of their first death. Xander had dusted the first almost reflexively. Spike had ripped the head off the second with his bare hands when it went for Xander. It had happened so quickly that Xander had stood blinking in the settling dust before either of them realized that the battle was over. Since they had crossed paths with the fledges outside the Bronze, Spike kept a wary eye out during the rest of the night, to see if Harmony was back in town. Not that he had anything to fear from the dozy cow, but she had tried to hurt Xander before and Spike knew from experience that, though inept, she could hold a grudge. Oddly enough, the minions seemed to have a soft spot for her, maybe cause the boy and the witch had been tykes with her. Even the Slayer hadn't dusted her, and she could have a couple of times. Spike snorted softly, so as not to wake the boy; funny he was considering not dusting a vamp 'cause the humans might not like it. Xander sighed and rolled forward, throwing an arm over Spike and pulling him close into his body heat. *Ah, that's better.* Spike didn't snuggle because vampires don't snuggle, but he did melt into his lover's body and begin to purr. *A heart as soft, a heart as kind, a heart as sound and free, as in the whole world thous canst find, that heart I'll give to thee [3]* Spike could almost feel Xander's pulse move through his body as they lay pressed together. It felt like Xander understood, or at least understood as much as Spike did flying blind like they were. Being with the boy was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Just when Spike would convince himself that Xander was deluded and seeing what he wanted to see, not what Spike really was, he would do something or say something proved that he knew. Knew that Spike wasn't human, was evil and that this, whatever this was, was dangerous, possibly to both of them. Yet he was still willing to love Spike. *Love?* From the first, the emotions between them had been deeper than he had anticipated. Maybe that was his fault. Xander always seemed to give as much as Spike would take, and of course being Spike, he took everything and still the boy found ways to offer more. Spike sighed as Xander's warmth permeated his body. As they lay together this all seemed irrelevant; it was too late for him, he had already fallen hard. Xander's quiet strength and steadfast loyalty, his tender seductions, seemed to answer long unspoken prayers. But was it too late for Xander? Could he find a way to free the boy before this bonding, this potential spiral into damnation became irreversible? Would this boy with his teasing laugh and 'rule number two, never use the word necrophilia when we're in bed' want this to stop before it was too late? Maybe it was too late already. Spike didn't think if Xander cast him out this minute that he could fight the bond, which was so much, more than lust or possessiveness. He didn't think he could let the boy go, even if it was what Xander wanted. He knew little about such pairings. Humans had always just been food. He stroked the boy's thick hair as he contemplated how dangerous the bond could be. "I'll never hurt you." He whispered. "I'll never let anything hurt you." But he wasn't reassured and lay unquiet and fretting as he considered that he might be the biggest danger in Xander's life.

*****
Part 7:

After catching them in the cellar of the store, the witches gave up all pretenses and set about asking the most inappropriate questions. At least Red did; Blondie just blushed and smiled, seeming to enjoy the slightest display of Spike's allegedly Victorian attitude. Xander was apparently quite used to having sweet young girls ask with wide-eyed innocence if he were a top or a bottom. That remark, launched pointedly by Red when they had finally emerged from the storage room, had been greeted by his smirking lover with the reply of, "It doesn't matter, either way you don't get the toaster." *I understand one hundred and sixty two languages which includes most demon tongues and I still can't crack the Sunnydale code.* If shopping at the mall and Xander's snuggling at Red's birthday dinner hadn't outed them to the rest of the group, their frequent uncontrollable need to touch or taste each other would have broken the news sooner or later. Xander told him to expect some sort of explicit threat from Willow on what she would do to him if he broke the boy's heart - the boy had called it 'S.O.P.' for the witch. Spike was sure Rupert's Watcher instincts would have him lecturing the boy on what a bad idea their being together was, and how he couldn't trust Spike, but neither happened.

Xander had asked - asked, Spike if he would move in to his apartment with him. He had said he knew Spike had a lot of stuff at the crypt, but pointed out that his new place was larger than it looked. He added that he hardly used the basement storage area assigned to the unit and watched for Spike's reaction. Spike had been too stunned by the offer to react in a visible or audible way; he had just sat there dumbstruck in the flickering blue light of the television. Xander seemed to take that as a sign of reluctance so had sweetened the deal by offering to get satellite. "Six channels of ESPN, Spike. Proper English football." Spike had caved at the first bat of those gorgeous eyes and jumped at the chance to wrap himself in Xander's warmth on a daily basis. So they were lovers, and roommates, and sometimes it all seemed just too perfect, too human. As a result, they were hosting their first dinner party. Not counting Red's bash, because no one knew they were shacking up at the time. Xander had invited the witches over for English food and flicks. The Watcher had been clever enough to invent other plans and Dawn actually had other plans. Spike had mostly just sat back and enjoyed the boy's nervous excitement at being what he had referred to as being 'such an adult.' The witches were going to pick the movies and said they were bringing a lemon tart, although why they thought that was particularly English Spike didn't know, dessert. Spike shuddered to think what their reaction to Xander's meal would be and hoped they weren't too hard on his boy. For his part Spike was just glad he was drinking his supper.

Spike had wandered into the kitchen after cleaning the bathroom and straightening up the living room. Apparently he had agreed to do both sometime during the blowjob when they had showered earlier, but had no recollection. When he had pointed his lack of memory out to Xander, his lover had said, "Too bad, must be the chip," and smacked Spike's bare ass on the way out of the shower stall. Xander was currently bouncing, literally, around the kitchen. The boy thought he was Martha Stewart - he was using two pots, had preheated the oven and had purchased a gravy boat for the occasion. Spike leaned against the frame of the kitchen entrance and watched Xander cook. Cook being a relative word in this instance. Xander dumped two packages of frozen vegetables into the pot, which already contained cooked ground beef. He put a lid on it and turned off the heat. Springing over to the counter he unwrapped two prepackaged, already baked piecrusts and put them and their foil pans on a metal baking sheet. He paused on his way over to the stove to kiss Spike so quickly that he was stirring the pan of instant mashed potatoes before Spike could fold him in his arms. Spike watched in fascinated horror as Xander spooned the mixture of cooked beef and thawing vegetables into each of the pie shells and shuddered when the boy topped this with the mashed potatoes, smoothing it over the top of the pie like a meringue. He was distracted briefly from his question as Xander bent over to place the pies under the broiler and in doing so presented Spike with his ass, firmly packed in the black jeans Spike had insisted he get during the Scoobys' adventure in shopping for Xander.

"Er.Em.. Pet?" Spike's mind was freed for higher thought processes when Xander straightened and turned to face him.

Xander gave him another quick kiss and said, "They'll be here any minute. Did you set the table?"

"Pet? What the hell is that?" Spike asked nodding toward the oven.

"Shepherd's pie, it's English, " Xander said over his shoulder as he bounced over to the cupboard to take out the plates.

*Right. I've been living with him less than a month and he's already got me doing the blinking thing.* "That's not shepherd's pie.""Un huh." Was Xander's comment as he brushed by his lover on his way to set the table. He was back in a flash to peer into the oven before filling water glasses.

"Luv, shepherd's pie is a stew." Spike called after Xander's bustling figure as he took the glasses to the dinning area.

Xander paused on his way back into the kitchen and blinked twice at Spike before reasoning, "Then why would they call it pie?"

Not having an answer, Spike set out the flatware. The doorbell chimed and Xander bounced off to greet their guests. Red surprised Spike with a hug before handing him the movies while Tara handed Xander the dessert box. *Angelus thinks he spent time in hell; we have three, count them three, Hugh Grant movies.* Spike was treated to another view of Xander's backside when the boy stooped to sprinkle cheese on his creations. Even the Cheddar was packaged pre-grated. While he was thankful he had a blood option for dining he worried that the girls would hurt his sweet pet's feelings when they saw just what he was serving. Xander put the glass jar of gravy into heat with Spike'sblood and then dashed out to see the girls to their seats. After the bag of salad, Xander served the pies with the flare of a showman. He pointedly offered each of the girls gravy, having made a special trip to the resale shop that day when he decided he shouldn't just dump it in a bowl. Red, of course, made a great fuss over the hot, home cooked meal. Not only did she dig in but she asked for seconds.

Blondie then shocked Spike by addressing him, "Did you help?"

"I beg your pardon?" Spike asked.

"With the authentic English cuisine. This is good." She sounded sincere. Spike blinked at her. He looked at Red. She looked back, expecting an answer. He looked at Xander.

Xander beamed at him and said, "He gave moral support."

"Xander." Spike didn't want to squash his pet's enthusiasm but was having nothing to do with this meal. "Shepherd's pie is a stew."

"Then why is it called pie?" Red asked. Blondie helped herself to another slice. It looked like Xander was going to need both pies. This was unbelievable. And six hours of Hugh Grant... Spike was in hell.

After they had cleared the table, Xander whipped the peach shnapps he had had Spike procure the night before into a milkshake for the girls. Spike refilled the whiskey he had been downing since he saw what the movies title's were. Xander opted for a beer and in a nod to the formal occasion used a glass. As Willow and Xander loaded the dishwasher, Spike eavesdropped until he discerned the conversation was about Dawn and what to do about the Summers' house. He turned his attention back to the witch sitting across the table from him. She frowned while consulting a book. Then Tara handed Spike a deck of cards, what there was of it. The cards where huge, about five by nine inches and there were only a few, maybe twenty or so.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked.

"Just shuffle, and think about you and Xander," she said, then blushed.

"Not sure I want to know the future." Spike surprised himself by the confession to the quiet blond. "Got a lot to lose."

"This is just a way to get insight, don't think of it as prophesy..think of it as a tool for contemplation."

"You do know I'm a demon, right?" He was already uncomfortable by how much she did see.

"Yeah, I know. Remember, I'm the one who spent most of my life thinking I was too. Sometimes you have to look past all the labels we put on ourselves and just decide who we are and what we want. That's what the cards do." She looked down at his hands, then met his eyes, "I.you don't have to do this. I can practice on someone else." Spike thought that little speech might have been the most he had heard Willow's girlfriend say at one time to anyone except Willow.

"No, pet, just tell me what to do."

"I'll point where you put them, you deal out four cards. This is you, this is Xander, this is your relationship, this is the future." She indicated three spots side by side on the table, and one centered above them.

Xander and Willow came in from the kitchen. Willow sat next to Tara. The movies apparently forgotten, she eyed the cards with interest. Xander circled around to Spike's side of the table but hung back and asked, "Is this private? We can."

Spike snagged the boy around the waist and pulled him into his lap in a lightening-quick move and said, "She's reading us."

Willow giggled, "Which one is Spike?"

"One of these is Spike?" Xander perked up and turned his attention to the cards. "Tell me it's not the pregnant lady. You.ah, you can't..I know there's a lot of freaky vampire shit I don't understand..but you."

"Stop sputtering whelp. That's me." Spike pointed to the card Tara had told him was him.

"Spike's an angel?" Willow squeaked.

"An angel with black wings, yeah, I can see that." Xander kissed him and tightened his grip on the arms that held him.

"This is Temperance, she's a symbol of dynamic change. She blends both animal and human attributes." Tara said after checking her book.

Xander twisted in his arms and poked Spike with his index finger. "She nailed you." Spike mock growled and morphed to his demon face to nuzzle the boy's neck with his fangs.

Tara cleared her throat and continued with a shy smile. "What she says about you is that you are aware that you don't have all the answers and you are willing to seek them through others. You are drawn to groups and desire interaction and the establishment of ties."

"Which one's Xander?" Willow nudged her girlfriend, and nodded at the cards.

"The Sun." Tara pointed to the card in question.

"Told you you taste like sunlight, pet." Spike purred into Xander's ear.

"Tell me about me." Xander prompted the shy witch.

"You symbolize all that is glittering, great, and joyful." She smiled. "And indicate optimism and prosperity." Spike continued to purr as Xander laughed.

"It's a good card for you, Xan." Willow said.

"It says that your love has brought light to Spike's life or um.death, unlife." She blushed and added. "Since he's the one who cast the card, I mean."

"Go on, little bit, now I'm curious." Spike said and shifted back to his human visage.

"It says that Xander's quiet optimism and happy nature make him a joy to live with. It says he has a constructive approach to life and he is on course with his destiny and will follow his true path. His love is simple and infinitely strong." She shared a smile with Willow before turning back to them.

Xander was blushing and quickly diverted the attention from himself by asking "And the pregnant chick?"

"Xander," Willow teased, "there's this spell I've been wanting to try."

"Pay attention." Tara firmly admonished. Xander and Willow shared conspiratorial smiles. Spike had noticed them both making an effort recently to get the blond to assert herself. They often took her rare outbursts as personal victories.

"I'm sorry. It says she's the Empress. What does that mean?" Willow said.

"She is abundance and fertility incarnate." The blond witch winked at Xander. "In the position of the relationship card, she symbolizes long term commitment, lasting love and enduring pleasure." Spike purred loudly and squeezed his lover. "Harmony, " Tara continued. Xander snickered, and Willow tried to kick him under the table but connected with Spike instead. Tara shot Xander a stern look and raised an eyebrow. " Of mind, body and spirit prevail. You complement each other and your physical relationship is absorbing."

"And the future?" Spike eyed the last remaining card with reluctance - it looked foreboding." That's an odd one." Xander picked up the card and traced the picture with his finger. "Who is she?"

"Hecate. This book says she's the goddess of death, but she's much more." Tara said.

"Isn't she the one who turned Amy into the rat?" Xander asked Willow.

"The Moon isn't a bad card." Willow looked to Tara for confirmation. "I've done a lot of reading on Hecate, to help Amy. She is unusual, but not evil."

"No." Tara added quietly. "The Moon symbolizes uncertain forces, visions and the flux of life and death. In this position it emphasizes enhanced imagination and intuition - new approaches and ideas. It seems to say that uncertainty will come, but don't panic ultimately you will benefit."

~~~~

Spike noticed that like soldiers the Scoobies tended to rest when they could. They spent so much time scrambling to save the world that inevitably on their rare quiet evenings they fell asleep. This time it wasn't just Xander who couldn't keep his eyes open. Red was spooned against Tara and both were sound asleep on the couch. When they had moved from the table to the living room area, Xander had sat in front of the couch and patted the spot of floor between his spread legs. Which was how Spike ended up propped comfortably back against the chest of the sleeping boy, wrapped in his warm arms and the only one awake to suffer through 'Notting Hill'. Upon hearing first one then three rhythmic sounds of breathing, Spike began to plot a way to avoid watching the movie. He stealthily extricated himself from the boy's embrace and scooped up his tall lover, moving slowly to prevent his waking. Once in the bedroom, Xander groggily drifted awake and blinked in confusion. Realization of Spike's vampire strength swept across his expressive face and he cuddled back into his broken sleep. Spike lay him on the bed and went back to the living room to shut off the telly and cover the witches with a decorative throw. He returned to Xander and with little effort removed his clothing and picked the sheet up off the floor to cover the boy. While shaking the sheet free of wrinkles and carpet lint, Spike drank in the sight of his sleeping lover. Xander's dark hair was tousled and his lashes swept across his tanned face. The boy lay lax and looked like a work of art. His cock nestled against one well-muscled thigh, emerging from a thick patch of dark curls. His stomach was flat and Spike could discern the faint six pack of his abdominal muscles - not the cut look of a gym addict but sinew earned by hard labor and frequent physical activity. *Tonight, if I may guess, thy beauty wears a smile of such delight as brilliant and as bright as when with ravished aching vassal eyes lost in a soft amaze I gaze, I gaze![1]*

It wasn't yet ten thirty. Time was he would have been just starting to look for trouble at this time of night. He was spending too much time with humans. He considered going out, hunting a bit, but Xander tossed in his sleep and for the third time in as many hours presented Spike with his ass, this time unhampered by the black denim. Decision made, Spike skinned out of his clothes and tossed them with abandon. He slid into bed, pulling Xander close, and was rewarded by the boy wrapping him in his warmth. Spike lay inches from his lover's face, each breath bathing him in warmth and scent. This wasn't the first time he had forgone a hunt to hold vigil over his sleeping boy. Each time, he was torn between knowing that eventually, a rival would come to town and if he were not alert the newcomer would have him at a disadvantage, and the knowledge that because of that inevitability that time with Xander was fleeting and he should grab any opportunity while he could. He wondered if what he had said in the shower, about wanting to claim Xander, mark him so all would know he belonged to Spike was enough. It was important that the boy not think that he was second choice. Not to diminish his feelings for the late Slayer, but what he felt for Buffy could not be compared to this. He had loved her, but it was unrequited. Unrequited love was like a seed never planted. This struggling sapling that he and the boy nurtured between them was far more precious.

Again, Xander had taken the lead. When he had first stammered out his concerns for and admitted the pain caused by his ex, Spike had been too absorbed in what the boy had been feeling to process his own reaction. Xander admitted that he had hoped to marry the silly demon bint and was still worried about her. He knew what Xander had shared with Anya had been real and grounded in the human world. Xander still tended the love that had grown between him and the ex-demon, but as always, when only one person cared for it, the love mutated. Instead of becoming bitterness or obsession that Spike had seen most often in the past, it had become the nurturing concern Xander offered all his friends tempered by both pain and insight.

~~~~~~

Due to his weekday hours, Xander, much to his own mortification, had started to wake early even on weekends. Spike sensed the change in his breathing immediately, just as the intricate dance of the boy's fingers along the cool flesh of Spike's stomach became knowing and started to drift down. Spike stretched, luxuriating in his mate's warmth, then turned, pulling Xander close against his morning erection. A radiant smile spread across the boy's face as his hips bucked forward into the contact.

"Spike." Xander packed a wealth of emotion and meaning into the single word. Spike kissed him long and slow, thrusting into the touch of their cocks.

"Sunlight. You taste like sunlight, and laughter pet. Glittering, great, and glorious."

Xander blinked and asked with bubbling laughter, "I light up your life?"

Spike nodded, showing a trace of suspicion.

"Spike?" The boy batted his lashes and tried to stop giggling. "Am I the wind beneath your wings?"

Spike pounced with a growl and pinned Xander underneath him. He couldn't maintain a straight face even in his demon visage, so he buried his face against the boy's stomach. Spike reveled in the feel of the boy's body shaking with silent laughter. Xander wrapped him in a warm embrace and pulled him up to feather kisses across his ridged brow. He then dropped down to slip his tongue in and deliberately cut it on Spike's fangs. It no longer even set the chip off it had become such a regular occurrence. It was almost part of their morning routine to blend blood in each other's mouths. Spike bit his own tongue and Xander swept his mouth with long deep licks even as Spike morphed back to his human face. Spike renewed his efforts to grind against his lover. Xander broke the kiss and rolled on top of him. Looking down with mirth-filled eyes, he was youth incarnate. Tara really had been right - the boy was joy personified, his love was simple and infinity strong.

Xander appeared to have had enough of Spike's rapt attention and swooped down for another kiss. Spike reached for the lube, groping blindly through the drawer of the bedside stand, not willing to break the kiss. Once found he lifted them both to a kneeling position, taking shameless advantage of Xander's gasp of surprise to plunder the boy's mouth once again. Before Xander could question the sudden change in position Spike slapped the tube into his hand and turned to grip the headboard. Immediately in tune with his lover's demand, Xander set about thoroughly preparing Spike. Ignoring the vampire's growls of impatience the boy lovingly coated and slowly stretched his mate's entrance. Spike had been a virgin when he died, and thanks to vampiric healing would remain that way until he was dust. Though he had told Xander that he needn't be so careful, Spike was touched by his lover's tenderness. In life and in death no one had shown such attention to his feelings. While he took his time preparing Spike, Xander teased him with caresses and gentle pinches and bites. Just before he moved into position, Xander leaned forward, spreading warmth across Spike's back, and stole a kiss.

In a stunning example of his inability to communicate and think about sex Xander asked, "Good? Now? Yes?" Not the most eloquent of lovers, the boy was most often reduced to incoherent grunts, moans and whimpers in the middle of sex. Xander had been making a concentrated effort to overcome this disability, but privately Spike hoped he didn't succeed. He was rather fond of his boy's delicious babble; no matter how little sense he made Xander's comments always came from his heart.

"Ready, love." Spike thrust back on the moving fingers and steadied himself as Xander replaced his slick fingers with his equally slippery cock. With infinite slowness Xander entered his body. Spike reveled in the feel of his lover's heat impaling him and spreading out through his body. Once fully seated inside Xander stopped, stroked Spike's sides, carded his hair and murmured nonsense in his ear. Xander's pulse throbbed from the center of Spike's being, making him feel almost alive himself. For one brief moment it felt as if they were one person, then the boy moved. Slowly back, slowly forward, it was hardly more than a rocking of his hips. Xander eased Spike into the sensation of movement. Gradually, he increased the length of his thrusts and the speed of the rhythm. Xander held onto Spike's hip with one hand and snaked the other around to tease at Spike's heavy cock. He began to pump Spike's erection in time with his thrusts, and Spike lifted his head back and his purr became loud and feral. Eventually, Spike felt Xander's rhythm slip and knew he was about to come.

"Xander!" he hissed, needing more. Xander, in another display of his ability to read Spike's mind, leaned into his orgasm and bit hard into the muscle along Spike's collarbone. Spike came with a howl. Xander pulled him back into his lap as he slowly softened and slipped out. Xander licked at the bite and watched fascination as the blood slowed and began to stop before his very eyes. Spike had turned his head to watch Xander and grasped both hands around the warm arms, which embraced him. *Watching makes my heart beat fast because, seeing little, I imagine much*

Xander seemed to sense his attention and looked over with a grin. "No work today." He whispered suggestively. "We can stay in bed all day."

Spike snorted and couldn't resist saying, "You do remember Red and her snuggle bunny are on the couch, don't you?"

Staggered, Xander sputtered. "Willow! I had sex with Willow in the next room? Loud sex! I am so gonna burn." He buried his face in Spike's neck and mumbled. "You're evil."

There was a tentative knock on the door and as Spike called out, "Come in." Spike shifted to his human face and Xander frantically scrambled to cover the best parts of both of them with the rumpled sheet. Willow stuck her head in the room.

Blushing, she tried to look anywhere but at the bed. "Xan, we didn't want to leave without saying goodbye and thank you for the home cooking. Sorry we crashed like that, it's been a long week." She had been unsuccessful at avoiding the sight of the sweaty, sticky, naked men, and froze with her mouth open. A look of anger crossed her face and she walked into the room and over to the bed. "Spike? My God! Are you.? Xander, you bit him!" Whack. She slapped Xander's bare shoulder, sounding loud but obviously not really hard. Spike growled but maintained his human visage. "Oh?" Willow said and looked baffled.

"Ah.Just kinky sex, Will." Xander volunteered and Spike felt the heat of a blush spread across the boy's body. And, although Spike hadn't believed it was possible, she turned redder.

"Oh? Oh! Well thanks for dinner it was great. And thanks for tucking us in. I'll call you." Willow backed out in full babble mode.

"It didn't cross your mind to even mention that they were here, did it?" Xander hissed.

"Oh, it crossed my mind." Spike purred and leered at his mate.

"You're evil." *But, of course.*

*****

[***FYI all you Wiccans and Tarot fans, Tara used 'The Lovers' Tarot' by Jane Lyle for her reading of Xander and Spike. Yes it was a real reading, my Spike muse shuffled the cards and those were the ones that came up - first try.]

*****