*****

"Spike."

"Xander."

"Um. Dark out, huh."

"I think that's why they call it night."

"Oh, right! Cause, you know, no sun or light and n is after l and I should probably stop talking now and what are you doing out here, anyway?"

"I'm takin' a walk."

"Oh. Right. Cause that's what people with legs do."

"Uh huh. Wow, you've really blossomed as an intellectual since the last time you spoke, huh?"

"Well, you know. All that extra - what is that on your pants?"

"What?! My pants? Where on my pants?"

"I think if you keep jumping around in circles maybe it'll fall off."

"Screw you, Harris."

"Well, um. No? Because...because ew and stuff. And also, ew."

"Why? 'Cause I got somethin' on my pants?"

"Well, I was thinking more the uh, the *inside* your pants part, actually."

"You think about the inside of my pants?"

"NO!"

"Yeah right. I probably feature regularly in your evening wet dreams, huh?"

"I'm so out of here."

"No, wait up! I've gotta hear more about this, this pants thing of yours."

"Go away, Spike."

"Don't run off like that! I'm sure we could come to some sorta fun arrangement, here."

"I'm not interested. Besides...evenifIwerelikeI'dactuallydoit."

"What was that? At the end there?"

"Nothing, I'm leaving, remember? Or do you not remember that you hate my guts?"

"Oh, come on, not like I'd be taking advantage or anything, you know you want it. C'mere, let me - "

"...."

"Wow."

"You just kissed me."

"Yeah."

"Oh. My. God. I have to go and cut my tongue out now."

"Yeah. I'm thinking Holy water bath. Now."

"Yeah. Bath. All wet..."

"Damnit, Xander!"

"I'm not the one who started this! You had to go on about your pants, and then you kissed me, and you're still holding on to me and oh god that had better be a stake in your pocket."

"It is! Because of course I'm carrying a stake around with me, being a bloody vampire and all and - and that time you kissed me!"

"Look. Look this is me leaving. This is me never having even left my house this evening. This is me definately not kissing you."

"Yeah, cause you're not standing right here or anything."

"Okay. Leaving now."

"Yeah. Leaving."

"If you ever tell anyone - "

"Like I'd admit to swapping spit with *you*, you prat."

"Right."

"Kay."

"Bye then."

"Bye."

"...Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"My place is closer."

"...Yeah, okay."

~fin~