*****

'I don't know why she left me' Xander sniffed miserably whipping his damp nose with the back of his hand. `I did everything she said a good boyfriend should do! I cooked, I cleaned, I applied bright coloured nail polish to her toes.' Looking up with dewy eyes `I even bought her, you know, *women's stuff !*'.

Spike rolled his eyes. How had he got into this situation? Coming into the Bronze for a quiet drink and a little strutting for the ladies and what does he end up doing? Sitting in a dark corner with a pissed Whelp listening to him whine about his ex-demon ex-girlfriend.

Xander sighed the sigh of the long-suffering drunk and reached for his beer. Spike watched him bring the drink to his mouth adams apple bobbing piteously. Any minute now he was gonna tell Spike how nobody understood him and probably blub!

Xander's eyes filled up with water as he set his drink back down on the table a small dribble of beer sliding down his chin. `Nobody understands Spike'. Leaning forward and capturing Spikes hand a tremble coming to his voice `I built my life around this woman'.

Oh bugger here it comes!

`How could she do this to me?' Xander croaked bobbing adams apple working overtime and large drops of alcohol fuelled tears finally spilling.

Spike watched as the waterworks finally got underway, big hiccupping globs of manly emotion.

Blubber, blubber blubber. Bloody hell!

`Well, I told you not to do it'

Gulping down a sob Xander dabbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his sodden shirt. `You said if I lent you it you wouldn't say anything'.

Spike could smell the mucus from the other end of the table `Oh come on whelp, you believed me? You know I'm a lying bugger and anyway, I didn't soddin say anything. It was the Slayer. I thought it was a bloody good video' Spike shrugged.

Xander smiled wetly `You liked it?'

`Thought it was bleeding fantastic'.

`Didn't think the soundtrack was too much?'

`Thought the drum roll and clashing symbols were a bit over the top, but you've gotta have a bit of artistic licence!'

Xander looked hurt `I thought it added to the mood'.

`Ye, well.. still a good try for a first timer. Don't see why she got so upset. Chuffed to bits she was right up until the Slayer said her arse looked big'

`You think that's what did it?'

`Probably. Silly bint knocked the popcorn all over the bloody floor, didn't think she had such good hearing.'

Xander nodded sagely `Oooooh ye, Anything to do with looks or money and she's right there with ya buddy!'

`Still, bloody good but I don't think Red'll be inviting me to anymore video nights with the girls!' Spike looked pissed.

`Bummer'.

`Ye.' Spike contemplated his smoke. `Thought the *Sex-capades* of Xander & Anya would be, you know a bit different like... Must have misheard cos I'm sure the Slayer said she used to watch em with her dad!

`*Ice-capades*, Spike, she used to watch **Ice-capades**'.

Spike did the eyebrow thing and took a drag on his cigarette.

End